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|“||The ladies say I'm pretty fly for a dead guy.||„|
|“||Yeah, far out, dude.||„|
|~ BEN's catchphrase.|
BEN DROWNED, or simply as BEN, is the deuteragonist of Pastamonsters. He is Jeff and Ms. P's best friend and is an intelligent and laid-back ghost and acts as Slenderman's "inlet guy". He specializes in drug-dealing, gaming, and watching TV. He is a supergenius, but due to his love of drugs, laziness, and goofy, deadpan attitude, most people believe him to be stupid like Jeff. He lives in cyber-space and works undercover at Mr. Mandavi's Pizza Place in the Human World.
Originally an innocent 10-year-old boy, BEN was drowned and subsequently killed by an unknown old man. However, the spirit of BEN, named BEN DROWNED, started messing with the game after the BEN file was deleted before he was able to escape and haunt other forms of technology, eventually finding a realm known as the Under Realm and decided to live there.
|“||I'm always honest. Maybe not always good, but I'm always honest.||„|
Before his death, BEN was a fairly innocent boy, admiring his mother to a high degree, having the usual stuff that any kid his age would have in his room, and going out in the rain to have fun.
As a Proxy, BEN seems to be almost always high. He is very laid-back, deadpan, and calm and doesn't seem to care about anything. At times he uses his influence of the internet mind to solve problems his friends can't figure out. He is a party-loving pot smoker who is prominently very lazy and addicted to video games. When he plays video games he shouts insults at other players through the headset about their mothers, sexuality and how bad they are at the game. His voice is like that of a hipster or a stoned surfer dude, which is mainly calm and cool at times (but only when he's on Black Stuff). He almost never yells out unless he is scared or really angry. BEN fills the role of the "cool guy" in the Proxies and never really argues about anything (but if you say anything about the internet being sucky or that it lies, that's the only time that BEN can argue).
As previously stated, BEN is one of the most intelligent Proxies, and perhaps one of the most intelligent beings in the Under Realm, described as "Brilliant, but lazy" by Slenderman. He has a photographic memory, can decipher alien languages not known to man, outsmarted Enderman (a genius himself) numerous times, and can hack almost every computer in existence, including the United States Airforce servers, and at one point bragged about being able to hack every computer on Earth at once. Despite his intelligence, most people believe him to be stupid due to his drug addiction and goofy, childish nature. In addition, he has been manipulated by X and Zalgo numerous times. Although BEN is a master planner and is "real good at numbers" according to Eyeless Jack, he still does pretty stupid things regularly, in addition to being lazy, as Slenderman puts it. He often tags along with Jeff on his escapades despite said adventure being clearly dangerous and/or stupid. BEN obviously is very academically smart, but just lacks common sense. BEN can always come up with a smart or snide remark, specifically in reply to most of his surrounding antics and other's attempts at humor.
BEN is well known for having a very perverted side to him. Aside from openly watching many types of porn, he is also very horny when he is high, coming off as a sexual predator. He has a habit of molesting people, starting fights, and spiking food and drinks to get other people high with him. Some episodes even imply that he is a necrophile and a zoophile. Additionally, BEN is significantly more social in this state compared to when he's "mellow", as he is willing to meet new people and hit on girls with great confidence. Much like Jeff, BEN rarely shows remorse for his crimes and sometimes seems to enjoy watching other people suffer, mostly his enemies. BEN also uses threats of sexual violence in order to threaten others, as well as enjoying making them uncomfortable. BEN also implies that he has sexually abused men while in prison.
When BEN is in a mellow statue, his true personality begins to show. BEN is very shy, and turns invisible a lot at times when meeting new people. BEN is also very good at hiding his feelings about many things when mellow. He is very attached to people he already knows and freaks out whenever paired with someone he isn't familiar with. When Sally Williams was kidnapped by the Stiltwalker, leaving BEN alone in the Dark Forest, he broke down crying and had a panic attack because he was left alone, implying BEN has a fear of being alone. He is also very sensitive and emotional when it comes to criticism from people, particularly if they mention his small height, even getting angry over Laughing Jack simply calling him "small fry". BEN can also be very violent, reckless, and angry when wronged. He was constantly bothered by X's mockery of his mother's death, even when the others tried to warn him that X was just trying to get a rise out of him. Alyss seems to be good at calming BEN down in times when he feels really pissed to the point where he would do something reckless. When not high, he is also very vulnerable due to his lack of skill with his magic powers. He tends to only be seen exclusively with his closest friends.
Of course, BEN is not completely evil and crude. He can be very friendly and calm most of the time, even towards complete strangers. BEN seldom kills people who make him angry or who provoke, making him one of the few Proxies who almost never kills for fun. He really does care about his fellow Proxies and gets angry when others threaten them. Also, he occasionally refuses to kill children or innocent people and usually only haunts and kills the scum of society. One of BEN's largest redeeming qualities is that he is very loyal, if only to a handful of people. BEN hates people who are disloyal or lie, even going as far as to never speak to or interact with them. Even when Enderman threatened to drown him, BEN didn't rat out Proxy information to Enderman. Finding out Sally had been snatched by the Stiltwalker drives BEN to go into the Dark Forest and find her and rescue her. When Jeff became trapped in the Nightmare Realm following an encounter with Shadowlurker and Zalgo, BEN and the other Proxies spent 3 months trying to get him out. He also is disgusted by threatening other's loved ones to achieve goals. BEN likewise loves his deceased mother dearly, so much so that he was willing to recklessly attack X, who was making fun of his mother's death. BEN is also very protective of Sally, as he saved her from a Stiltwalker and even offered himself to Zalgo to save her from him multiple times. Finally, he also held Jeff's hand as he died, comforting his dying friend in his last moments and broke down in tears multiple times afterward.
BEN almost always looks high, laid back, or tired due to his droopy eyelids. Ben is a spirit who is in the form of Link. The spirit, named BEN, was drowned by his father. The father was the leader of a cult named the Moon Children, who sacrificed others (which became BEN). BEN's eyes are black with small red pupils. Whenever he is off drugs, he has black iris' with red pupils and his scleras are red as well. He can also shape-shift into other monsters since he is a glitch.
- Unnamed mother †
Powers and abilities
- Shape-Shifting: BEN can immediately take the shape of different creatures at will, allowing himself to sneak past enemies and turn the tide in a fight.
- Cyber Travel: BEN lives in cyberspace, meaning he can travel through the internet from computer to computer and leave as he pleases.
- Incredible Speed: BEN can move at incredible speeds, being able to swiftly kill four people in the time it took for a raindrop to fall from a streetlight. BEN is also capable of interstellar travel well beyond the speed of light.
- Immortality: Due to a side effect of being a tangible spirit, BEN does not physically age, potentially able to live indefinitely. Also, as a result, he has retained his youthful appearance along with his prime health and vitality, However, he is still susceptible to pain via starvation, cold, physical injury, poisonous gases; and could be killed by powerful beings such as Slenderman, Aton, Zalgo, etc. BEN can also be killed as easily as being drowned again.
- Healing: This support ability allows BEN to heal himself as well as anyone he wants to.
- Telekinesis: BEN can lift objects and even people off the ground and hurl them towards anyone or anything, though he mostly only uses it to haunt and scare unsuspecting people.
- Levitation: BEN can hover several feet off the ground and slowly descend back to the ground afterward at will,
- Block: BEN's blocking ability absorbs all projectile blasts directed towards him, however, it does not reflect the shots towards the firer's crosshair, instead the shots are simply absorbed while any damage dealt by them will be negated. Normal magic will be blocked with no damage dealt, but projectiles from powerful beings like Zalgo cannot be blocked and will send BEN flying.
- Fourth-Wall Awareness: BEN seems to be aware that he is a character made for the audience's amusement. He has communicated and spoke directly to the audience countless times.
- Broadway Force: BEN can tap into the Broadway Force by spontaneously breaking into song and dance, causing everyone and everything around them to become bound by it, and compelled to join in.
- Time/Spatial Manipulation: If he becomes sober, BEN can (albeit unintentionally) rip apart the fabric of reality, even affecting beings like Slenderman and Mr. Widemouth.
- Resistance to Poison: While he can feel the effects of it, BEN cannot be killed with poisonous darts/gases, etc.
- Teleportation: BEN can teleport at will, able to travel through space and from realm to realm.
- Tier: High 7-B | Low 2-B
- Age: 10
- Attack Potency: City Level (harmed Zalgo's Inquisitors, who destroyed multiple villages in their rampage. Can easily stomp Jeff in a fight.) | Likely Multi-Universe Level+ (Had the potential to destroy the entire universe and universes beyond)
- Speed: Relativistic+ (dodged sunlight) with Massively FTL+ travel speed (flew across the universe to get to another planet)
- Lifting Strength: Unknown
- Striking Strength: Unknown
- Durability: Town Level (healing and regen makes him difficult to kill)
- Stamina: Limitless (is a ghost)
- Standard Equipment: His Black Stuff.
- Intelligence: Possibly Supergenius.
- Weaknesses: Can be killed permanently by water. Is not immune to attacks from cosmic entities. His hydrophobia can leave him paralyzed with fear, leaving him open to attacks.
BEN DROWNED (Pastamonsters)'s statistics
|“||I remember everything, my dude. It's both a blessing...and a curse.||„|
|~ BEN to Jeff.|
|“|| BEN: What a fucking bitch, am I right?|
Ticci Toby: No, you're not right. He's not being a bitch. I hate to admit it, but he's completely right,
BEN: He's motherfuckin' peanut butter and jealous!
Ticci Toby: He's not jealous!
BEN: He's pulling K-Y jealous all over his dick.
Ticci Toby: What is there to be jealous of?!
BEN: Fuckers hate us because they ain't us.
Ticci Toby: They hate us because we anus? What does anus have to do with this?
BEN: (laughs) Why do you think all these people try to kill us? Enderman, Rake, Zalgo? It's simple: They despise us because we live in a mansion, have daily pizza and drug parties, and they don't. In short; They hate us because they ain't us!
Ticci Toby: That's not what it is.
BEN: Yes, it is.
Ticci Toby: No, it's not. They hate us because we is us, and what we is doing is freaking terrible.
BEN: They hate us because they ain't us!
Ticci Toby: Stop saying that.
BEN: (dancing) Hate us because they ain't us!
Ticci Toby: They don't! Hate us because they ain't us I'm used to it.
BEN: They hate us because they ain't us!
Ticci Toby: Stop it. Stop it. Don't say it again! I'm sick of it! (starts walking away)
BEN: (just as Toby is about to leave) Haters gonna hate. And ainters gonna ain't.
|~ BEN and Toby.|
|“|| Enderman: How would you like to die? Personally, I prefer poisonous gas.|
BEN: Is it because you're toxic to everyone you meet?
|~ BEN to Enderman.|
|“||Uh, hey, baby.||„|
|~ BEN trying to greet women.|
|“||I was doing blow all night. A monkey jerked me off while I watched Masky make fuck with a lady-boy.||„|
|~ BEN after a hangover.|
|“||When a monkey nibbles on a penis, it's funny in any language.||„|
|“||I wish monkeys had Skype. Maybe someday.||„|
|“|| BEN: You dick bag! What the fuck is wrong is with you?! You're rubbing your dog's nose in it's own shit?! What the fuck's the matter with you?! Jeff, take a dump on this dick's floor. Teach this asshole a lesson. (turns to the dog owner) What the fuck is the matter with you? You know if you shove that dog's nose in it's own shit, it's gonna get shit in its nose, it's gonna lick it, and it's gonna become a shit eater. You want your dog to be a shit eater?|
Jeff: (tries to defecate on the owner's floor but can't) I'm worried I'm gonna give myself a hernia, BEN. Why don't we come back when I have one in the chamber? (turns to the owner) But you... (puts a cone on his head) You get to wear the cone of shame for at least the week.
BEN: That's what you get for being an ignorant cunt.
|~ Jeff and BEN take out animal abuser number #1.|
|“|| BEN: What the fuck do you think you're doing? What do you think, it's Iditarod for pussies? Man, if you have to glide around on your fruit boots in your neighborhood, why don't you leave your fuckin' dog at home? It's 80 fuckin' degrees out, your dog is miserable. Look at it. They're sprinters, not long-distance runners, cuntsack. Take your fuckin' dog at home, get it some goddamn water, and get it in the shade.|
Animal Abuser #2: You're right, this was a really bad idea.
Jeff: Fuck yeah, it is. Now you get to wear the cone of shame for a week
BEN: Hope you learned your fucking lesson, cocksucker.
|~ Jeff and BEN take down animal abuser #2.|
|“|| BEN: Well, well, well. Let me guess: you need your dog for some vague anxiety disorder? Well, guess what? You're not blind, you're not crippled. You're just some phony fucking bitch with a poofy dog.|
Jeff: (puts a cone on her head) Wear the cone of shame for at least a month.
Animal Abuser #3: ....Actually, my service dog lets me know if I'm going to have a seizure.
BEN: My apologies.
Jeff: Keep the cone on, though. Might stop you from chewing on yourself.
|~ Jeff and BEN deal with animal abuser #3.|
|“|| BEN: (walks in to see the animal abuser putting peanut butter on his testicles for his dog) You sick fuck! Why don't you jerk off to an episode of Wilfred and leave your fucking innocent dog out of your non-existent sex life?!|
Jeff: I hope you get a peanut allergy and fucking die, you piece of shit. (puts him the cone of shame) Cone of shame, you need to wear it for two weeks.
|~ Jeff and BEN take out animal abuser #4.|
|“|| Jeff: You, BEN, what's your password?|
BEN: Hey, Jeff.
BEN: No, that's it.
BEN: That's it, that's my password. "Hey, Jeff".
|~ BEN and Jeff.|
|“|| Laughing Jack: Hey, BEN? Are these birth control pills yours? (laughs)|
BEN: Yeah, I'm saving them for your sister you fucking cuntboy.
|~ BEN and Laughing Jack.|
|“||Black Stuff will save your life one day.||„|
|~ BEN's catchphrase.|
|“|| BEN: My uncle Roger says he saw an albino polar bear once.|
Masky: Really? Polar bears are white, how did he know it was albino?
BEN: This one was black.
Masky: Uh, are you sure it wasn't a black bear?
BEN: (after thinking) Whatevs.
|~ BEN and Masky.|
|“|| Slenderman: Call me a fool, but a troll, BEN? What, pre tell, is a troll?|
BEN: Like a joker on the internet.
Slenderman: What kind of jokes?
BEN: Sorta mean jokes.
Slenderman: Ah, so jokes that aren't funny?
BEN: No. You don't get it. The humor comes with repetition. Like, you say it once, big deal. Then you say it again, and again, and again, and again. Like the other day, this dude posts this picture of his newborn, and I'm all like, 'Damn, son. That right there is one ugly-ass motherfucker of a baby.' And I'm all like, 'My balls are prettier than that baby.' and then I send him a picture of my balls. 'I seen roadkill prettier than that baby. What the fuck is wrong with your baby?' And he's all like 'Actually there's a problem with its chromosomes,' or something, and it's actually a miracle it survived birth. And I'm all like, 'it's actually a miracle I survived seeing a picture of its ugly-
Slenderman: ENOUGH!! E-FUCKING-NOUGH!
BEN: Maybe that one was a little OTT, but it's generally very good times.
|~ BEN teaching Slenderman what a troll is.|
|“||Like the infinite horizon, it eludes my grasp.||„|
|~ BEN trying to lick his elbow.|
|“||This lava lamp demon guy said he's gonna break into Slenderman's mind and steal the combination to his safe! Also we stopped for snacks on the way here.||„|
|~ BEN to Jeff.|
|“|| Zalgo: YOU! You can't even imagine what you just cost me! Do you have any idea what I'm like... (In a low, demonic voice:) WHEN I'M MAD???!! (shifts reality around them and grows in size)|
BEN: So I guess he gets really mad when he's mad.
|“||Thor dated Star Wars' daughter.||„|
|“||GO SUCK ZALGO"S DICK, YOU CLOAK WEARING ASSHOLE!||„|
|~ BEN to Shadowlurker.|
|“|| BEN: Your mama's pussy was the canvas. Your dad's dick was the paintbrush. Boom. You're the art.|
Ticci Toby: Thanks, BEN Drowned.
|~ BEN and Ticci Toby.|
|“||I didn't know owls could fly.||„|
|“||Here, try drinking this water with your nose.||„|
|~ BEN to Jeff when the latter is having a severe nose bleed.|
|“||(looking at the bullet hole in man's head) Now, isn't that something you kinda wanna stick your thing into?||„|
|“||I ate a man alive last night.||„|
|“||You guys won't guess what the fuck happened to me. So last night. around 2PM in the summer around Christmas time, I was in my room walking home on my way to work, and my mom, and I was hungry as fuck so my grandma went in the kitchen and started making some sense, 'cuz my sister lost her virginity, AGAIN, but this time she left it at her boyfriend's cock in the barn, and her birthday was coming up yesterday, so I got her a little self-portrait that some dude drew, but this dude drew it in Spanish, like how the fuck is she supposed to understand that shit? That's why I don't fuck with Mitchel Musso, you know what I'm sayin'. And I know y'all must be thinking why he outside in a jacket, because it's hot as fuck in my cold ass room, so I turned on the fan but I didn't know she was underaged, and I lost my breath, turns out she was hiding it, and I found it. And she got mad so she gave me herpes. ...No! She gave me her pee 'cuz I told her urine 8 out of 10, and she's fucking stupid, that's why I don't like her, that's why I told her she tired, like Michelin, but Michel is a man I saw one time in Men In Black, but Men In Black is really racist.||„|
|~ BEN after a Black Stuff overdose.|
|“|| BEN: Jeff, listen, if it's a dude, you grab him by the balls, but if it's a girl, you cunt punch that bitch!|
BEN: CUNT PUNCH THAT FUCKING BITCH!!
|~ BEN giving Jeff fighting advice.|
|“||Get the fuck away from her, you mechanical, automaton, outdated, crap-shoot, tin can son of a whore.||„|
|~ BEN protecting Clockwork from Mancala.|
|“||This is 2016, women are smart now!||„|
|~ BEN about Clockwork.|
|“||Dudes, stay calm. I've been training for this moment my whole life. With all the horror movies I've seen, I literally know all there is to know about to avoid zombies. (immediately gets bitten by a zombie) Second thought, gonna flip the script. Can I, eat your brains? Yea or Nay? Seeing some Yea faces over here.||„|
|~ BEN becoming a zombie.|
|“||Give it up, dudes! Your fighting only makes us look more rad!||„|
|~ BEN to Jeff, Sally, and Ms. P as he and the other zombies pursue them.|
|“||Hey bros! By the way, I taught the zombies how to get into the fuse box. Among these dudes I'm like a genius, haha! (zombies enter Proxy Mansion; BEN high fives one) Get those brains, dawg!||„|
|~ Zombie BEN to Jeff, Sally, and Ms. P.|
|“||Oooooh, I am the ghost of the masturbating... fisherman?||„|
|~ BEN trying to improvise while working at a haunted mansion.|
|“|| President Bush: (has Jeff and BEN sitting in front of him with a pistol in his hands) Boys.. Let's not just sit around and act like there's not a big ass elephant in the room.|
BEN: (looks confused) What the fuck is going on?
President Bush: (turns picture frame on desk around, revealing a photo of Ducky) *This* is what the fuck is going on.
BEN: (looks at the picture confused, looks at Jeff, then back at the picture as he realizes) OH SHIT! OH SHIT! (laughs hysterically at Jeff) Oh shit! No! That is not happening right now! (runs out of the room, high-fiving other Proxies) Hey guys, Jeff's fucking the president's daughter! Yo! Oh my FUCK! (runs back to Jeff) You clearly... yo, this is the best thing ever! HAHA! (runs across Proxy Mansion, screaming at the top of his lungs) JEFF FUCKED THE PRESIDENT'S DAUGHTER! JEFF FUCKED THE PRESIDENT'S DAUGHTER! Shit! Fuck! (runs back to Jeff) You fucked Bush's daughter? Bush? What the fuck, you bragged to him to his fucking face! To his actual face, the president, do you understand that *this face* (pointing at Bush, who is angrily loading his gun) Right here! You bragged to that face! (to Bush) You actually high-fived Jeff for fucking your daughter? Holy shit! Oh my God, this is... (Bush cocks his gun, BEN quickly sits down) It's not really that funny.
|~ BEN discovers that Jeff slept with Ducky.|
|“||Yo, I don't know who I fucked last night but I got some stank dick. Yo, my dick stinks! So weird how you, like... ...just wanna keep smelling it, though. Yo, you gotta come over and smell this shit! Come smell this. You gotta identify this. I don't know what it is. It kind of smells like guacamole.||„|
|~ BEN to Jeff.|
|“|| Ash Graven: (holding BEN's body) BEN, you okay? BEN! BEN! (she starts crying over his body until BEN jolts up)|
BEN: (sniffs around) ...That wasn't me, was it?
Ash Graven: BEN, you're back! (hugs him tightly)
BEN: O- oh. H- hugs. We're hugging. Holy shit. (awkwardly pats her back)
Ash Graven: I thought I lost you!
BEN: Yes! I am back. ...Where have I been?
Ash Graven: Someplace horrible. I'm just so happy you're okay. I got here just in time.
BEN: Eh. A few moments earlier wouldn't have been so bad. But... Thanks.
|~ Ash saves BEN from Fear.|
|“||You... Could've saved us.||„|
|~ A dying illusion of BEN to Jeff.|
|“|| BEN: Zalgo.|
Zalgo: (in Jeff's body; chuckling) Oh, I see you've come back for more, Zelda. (BEN shoots Zalgo in the leg with a laser pistol, causing him to growl in pain and fall to the ground)
BEN: You took so much from me.
Zalgo: And you, me.
BEN: We told everyone across the universe all the shit you did. About Eyeless Jack, about Serepentis, everything. And now, billions, trillions of people are wanting to see you dead. There's a resistance rising against you, Zalgo.
Zalgo: Is there now? Hehehe! Good. More lambs to the slaughter. (BEN shoots Zalgo again) Aah! Will you quit shooting me?!
BEN: But they don't have to worry about killing you, 'cuz I'm gonna save them the trouble right now, by blowing your whole fucking head off. (powers up his laser pistol) And, by the way, I know you tried to kill Jeff, too. But, as you can see, we found a way around it. And we motherfucking saved him.
Zalgo: Haaahaha!! Are you sure about that, BEN?
BEN: What's so funny?
Zalgo: Oh, that's right. You weren't here when I told the others. Possessing a human body creates an... Unstable compound. The more you damage a possessed body, the more likely the host is to die. (looks at his various wounds leaking blood) And, by the looks of it, your friend, Jeff, will be dead soon. Hehehe-hahaha!!
BEN: What? No! It can't-
Zalgo: HAHAHA!! What an unexpected turn of events, eh, Zelda? But don't worry, BEN. I'm sure Jeff will forgive you... If he ever wakes up, that is. HAAAHAHAHAA!!!!
|~ BEN unintentionally puts Jeff into a life-threatening coma.|
|“||Wait, can only virgins see this stuff? Is that why I'm not seeing this shit?||„|
|~ BEN when Toby is talking about X's illusions.|
|“||I don't wanna die in UHG's home.||„|
|~ BEN to Jeff.|
|“||Go to Hell, X! Ha, ha, ha!! Suck my dick!!||„|
|~ BEN to X after he is stabbed with the Sword of Splendorman.|
|“|| BEN: So, Shadowlurker, which side of Zalgo's ass do you plan to kiss today?|
Shadowlurker: I'm not gonna kiss him, but let's just say once I get those crystals I might give him something special with my hand.
BEN: What, you gonna jerk him off too?
|~ BEN and the Shadowlurker.|
|“||I can't believe I pulled the short straw. You guys are lucky we're not measuring dicks.||„|
|~ BEN to the other members of the New Elite.|
|“||Team Proxy never backs down from a jerkoff.||„|
|“||If you ever call me "Short Stack" again I'm gonna fuck you up the ass.||„|
|~ BEN to Laughing Jack.|
|“|| BEN: Laughing Jack...|
Laughing Jack: Talk to me, buddy.
BEN: I'm seeing a bright light...
Laughing Jack: (blocks the sun with his head) Is this better?
BEN: Very much. Thanks, dude. But the discomfort I feel in my eyes is nothing compared to the shame I feel for letting down you guys. For letting down the multiverse...
Laughing Jack: Yeah, BEN. You really blew it.
BEN: No, Jack. We blew it, as a team.
Laughing Jack: Nope. This one's on you.
|~ Laughing Jack and BEN after BEN failed to defeat Zalgo.|
|“|| BEN: Question, does it have any gun-swords? I watch a lot of anime and, uh, trust me, you're gonna want some gun-swords.|
Enderman: What the hell is anime?
BEN: We have much to discuss.
|~ BEN to Enderman during the creation of the Demonslayer.|
|“||You know what's more destructive than demons destroying the world? Words.||„|
|~ BEN to Jeff.|
|“|| Jeff: This is the fight of our lives. BEN, what are our chances?|
BEN: Certainty of death, small chance of success. ...What are we waiting for?
|~ BEN to Jeff before the final fight against Zalgo.|
|“||Jeff... I fucking told you. I don't wanna die. It's your fault... You punched me, made almost get killed by some demon hedgehog, dragged me through a fucking battlefield. And now... (picks up a baseball bat) I'm gonna have to kill this fucking demon.||„|
|~ BEN standing up alongside Jeff against Zalgo.|
|“||You're, like, finally using your powers of selfishness and rage for, like, good. Not an objective, universal good, but a subjective, what's-in-our-best-interest kind of good.||„|
|~ BEN to Jeff.|
|“||That's one hell of a space bae.||„|
|~ BEN when he sees Ash activate her full power.|
|“|| BEN: Listen, Ash. You can't save someone who doesn't know they're lost.|
Ash Graven: I thought the only reason I got these powers was to get her back.
Ms. P: Maybe you got them for something amazing down the line.
Ash Graven: What does that mean? You mean like... Something that hasn't happened yet?
Ms. P: Yes. So, great job. You're going to do great things. (leaves)
Ash Graven: (turns to BEN) That freaks me out even more.
Ash Graven: Because that means on the other side of this... There might actually be something good.
BEN: Oooh, that is terrifying. (Ash laughs) No, but, for real, I'm there to. And I think there's a word for that.
Ash Graven: ...Hooooope?
BEN: Heh. Yeah, Hope. Kinda stupid that neither of us know that. Maybe I'll try it on for size.
Ash Graven: Well, how was it.
BEN: A little tight in the crotch but... Good. Wanna give it a go?
Ash Graven Maybe after you leave.
BEN: Oh, cool. (gets up to leave)
Ash Graven: Hey, BEN.. (BEN turns around) ...Thanks. For all of this. (BEN lets out a dorky sequel)
|~ BEN and Ash's final exchange.|
|“|| BEN: Let's do all the drugs.|
Jeff: Nah, I'll pass. (drinks his beer)
BEN: You should've thought of that before I spiked all the drinks with ecstasy.
|~ BEN to Jeff.|
|“|| Jeff: YOU'RE THE FUCKING HATTED DEVIL!!|
BEN: You liked it, Jeff. You smiled when I told you we were going to a saloon.
Jeff: ...BECAUSE I LIKE ALCOHOL!! YOU FUCKING PSYCHO!!
|~ Jeff finding out BEN spiked his drink with ecstasy.|
|“|| Eyeless Jack: Well, then, we’ve gotta find a way to cut down expenses. What can we live without?|
BEN: Laughing Jack.
|~ BEN and Eyeless Jack.|
|“||We got 12 bottles of water, 56 beers, two vodkas, four whiskeys, 14 bottles of wine, tequila, six cans of Nutella, cheese, 12 boxes of pizza, eggs, bananas, apples, six packs of bacon, steaks, pancake mix, C.T. Crunch, milk, ketchup, a Milky Way, half-ounce Sour Diesel, 3 1/2 grams Grand Master Kush, one ounce of 'shrooms, 15 pills of ecstasy, porno mags, a baseball bat, Sunny D, Ice Age, Ice Age 2, Ice Age 3, Shrek, Shrek 2, Shrek 4, Spider-Man, Spider-Man 2, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, Pineapple Express, and a dragon dildo I definitely didn't buy off 4chan.||„|
|~ BEN showing Jeff the camp's supplies.|
|“||I'm selling an apartment for rent.||„|
|~ BEN trying to trick a couple of Bleeders.|
|“||I am a professional flyer. I got my license. I got my license in aerial duh - dymanicks.||„|
|~ BEN taking control of an airplane.|
|“|| BEN: You do bad shit and things, and I don't know if I love you and I'm pretty sure I hate you a little bit to be completely honest, but I'm just so fucking upset that we can't even see each other. You're just a drunk, melodramatic piece of shit.|
Jeff: You know what? That might just be the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
|~ BEN confronts Jeff on his behavior.|
|“||We could build a life here together, Jeff. I could be a good wife to you.||„|
|~ BEN to Jeff.|
|“|| David: Well, well, well, look who it is.... Ain't you got a habit of just showing up?|
BEN: When I have something to take care of, sure.
David: Just you left, is it?
BEN: Yep... Just me. But, I'm just here for Laughing Jack. So get the fuck out of my way.
David: Do you really think we're gonna run away from a scrawny midget like you? (he and the Bleeders laugh)
BEN: Hahahaha! Oh.., you see.. I was kinda hoping you'd say that.
|~ BEN before fighting off an army of Bleeders.|
|“|| Laughing Jack: I'll kill you all!|
BEN: Get some new material, champ.
|~ BEN mocking Laughing Jack.|
|“||Burn in hell, you piece of shit.||„|
|~ BEN after killing Laughing Jack.|
|“||Well, loyalty is important. Let me put it that way... loyalty is important. I mean, that's the only code you need. Loyalty is the code. Kill strangers. Protect friends. Eat enemies.||„|
|~ BEN to Masky.|
|“||Unless you've been living under a rock your whole life, you've probably heard the legends of a place called the Under Realm. It's not on any maps, and most people have never heard of it. Some people think it's a myth. But if you're curious, don't wait. Take a trip. Find it. It's out there somewhere in the woods, waiting.||„|
|~ BEN's final narration; also the final lines spoken in the entire series.|
- BEN's mannerisms and speaking pattern are directly inspired by Spike the Dragon from the PONY.MOV web series.
- BEN has an official "Ask Pastamonsters BEN" Tumblr page that can be viewed here.
- BEN, according to Comickit and his Tumblr page, knows every song known to mankind and will belt out the lyrics to anything.
- He loves watching midget porn.
- BEN has never willingly taken his hat off a day since he died.
- BEN thinks that President Bush is a werewolf.
- At one point in Season 2 "Rise of Enderman", BEN tells Jeff "Black Stuff will save your life one day". True to his word, BEN uses Black Stuff multiple times over the course of the series to save himself and his friends.
- He uses it the destroy the Enderbot by clogging its gears in the same episode.
- In "Why Drugs Are Bad", Jeff saves the entire universe from destruction by giving a sober BEN his Black Stuff.
- In "Legends of the Multiverse", BEN uses Black Stuff to save Jeff and Smile Dog from Zalgo's minions and later uses it again to save himself and Sally from Zalgo by melting half of Zalgo's face off with it.
- He is an organ thief.
- BEN's favorite movie is Pineapple Express, which he claims to have seen at least 186 times.
- According to Comickit, BEN can remember anything. It doesn't matter what it is, he will remember it. BEN himself claims it's both a blessing and a curse.
- BEN is a huge fan of Jackass, Gravity Falls, and Rick and Morty and watches them constantly.
- He is one of the few characters who can understand what Smile Dog is saying.
- He is represented on the Zalgo Zodiac as a jar of Black Stuff.
- BEN once hacked into Russia's servers so he could have access to Russian porn.
- BEN has had sex with a giraffe, a chair, a lion, his bong, Jeff's knife, and a slug. He even cut a hole in Jeff's childhood teddy bear so he could have sex with it. He's also clearly interested in Jeff himself, but only when he's high. In actuality, it's unknown if BEN is sexually attracted to Jeff or not.
- His lifelong dream is to get so high he can't feel his face. Despite his efforts, he has yet to fully achieve this.
- Due to the comic's art style it's usually impossible to tell the characters' eye colors, but BEN's natural color is confirmed as yellow by Comickit.
- Comickit has implied BEN likes to sneak into Jeff's bed when he's asleep and snuggle him.
- BEN keeps his mother's locket under his hat.
- Jeff states that he wears the same clothes every day. He even wears clothes when sleeping. BEN argues that he's too busy and has too much to do to waste time with laundry.
- He once got a job at the Under Realm's mortuary but got fired for doing "funny things" to the corpses.
- He's apparently a world-renowned paddleball champion, with a constructive score of 50,900,351,157,809,006 hits.
- At one point, BEN considered joining Zalgo's army. Fortunately, Jeff and Ms. P talked him out of it.
- BEN records Jeff talking in his sleep.
- BEN has a tattoo on his back that reads "Edifica adversario tuo aureum pons ad receptum trans.", which translates to "Build your opponent a golden bridge to retreat across."
- It's shown that he disapproves of Enderman's sadistic love of torturing and killing animals. BEN is disgusted when Enderman runs over a cat, closing its open, staring eyes when he notices it stuck on the wheel next to him and gently assuring it that Enderman can't hurt it anymore.
- According to Comickit, if BEN were to ever die again, he would not join the afterlife or be reincarnated, and would simply cease to exist. This explains his fear of death.
- BEN's Proxy identification card number is A1359723.
- Unlike Jeff, BEN is a surprisingly good driver.
- According to his Tumblr page, BEN hates being called "Zelda". Despite this, Laughing Jack, Aton, and Zalgo call him by the name, probably simply to provoke him. It used to really anger him, but he grew out of it as time went on but it still somewhat bothers him.
- BEN's favorite color (as well as his signature color) is green, signifying his laid-back nature. It's also the color of marijuana.
- BEN is 12 years old physically (mentally he is somewhere in his early 20s), making him the third youngest Proxy (Sally Williams being the youngest(8 years old physically) and Alyss Christer being the second(10 years old physically).
- BEN's bong's name is Frank.
- He is ambidextrous.
- BEN seems to have a hidden lust with Jeff, as he enjoys being close to Jeff, calls him sexy constantly and at a point is even implied to masturbate to him. This is only when BEN is high, of course, so no one knows whether BEN is truly attracted to Jeff or not.
- He's implied to occasionally molest and/or rape other men (most frequently Jeff), though it's mostly just brought up as a throwaway joke every once in awhile.
- Zalgo thinks BEN is a pushover.
- BEN represents the Deadly Sin of Sloth.
- Every time BEN sees a pale person with black hair, he falls in love with them. This explains his lust for Ms. P, Jefrera, and Jeff.
- BEN does not need to eat, sleep or drink. However, if he ever stopped eating or sleeping he would feel the pain of starvation and sleep deprivation without actually dying from it, so he considers it best to keep eating and sleeping. Plus, he simply likes eating and sleeping.
- BEN's license plate on his car reads "B0RN 2 H@CK".
- If BEN had a spirit animal it would be a sloth because he thinks sloths are "chill like that".
- He's apparently gotten into so much trouble with the Under Realm Police Department that they shout his name when pursuing him in a chase.
- If BEN were in Hogwarts, his house would be Hufflepuff and his boggart would be a lake.
- Ben's uniform (tunic, hat) may look gray, but it is actually an incredibly pale and light shade of green.
- BEN gives several hints across the comic that he enjoys older women. For one, he longs for Ms. P's affection, even though she is around 11 years older than him. When stealing a motorboat that a stunt woman is tied in, he says "that's why I prefer older women" when she starts to scream. He also once said to President Bush that "older women should be appreciated, like weed", referring to his wife.
- BEN has intense Aquaphobia and Thalassophobia, the fear of water and the ocean respectively. He is so terrified of water that he freezes when he sees a lake and he audibly breathes heavier by the mere sight of them. He hates the ocean with a passion and even refuses to take a bath or even play in the snow unless someone watches over him or he is forced to.
- BEN writes fan-fiction about Jeff.
- Comickit once drew a short comic where Slenderman tried playing an online video game with BEN, though it seems that Slenderman is losing, as he angrily throws his controller at the TV, yelling "Millennial fuckwads!".
- Alyss secretly likes to take BEN's fan-fics and reads them to Samantha and Lazari.
- He is an animal lover and had two dogs before his death. He currently has a cat named Felix who often feuds with Clockwork's cat, Carl, and later adopts Smile Dog when Jeff died.
- BEN has a skeptical attitude on modern cinematography and can be heard making a lot of negative comments on various modern movies across the series.
- BEN might be Comickit's favorite character.
- He claims to have dated Ally the Slender Doll. He also claims to have sourly regretted it.
- BEN seems to be completely unaware of Ash Graven's feelings for him.
- BEN's favorite Youtuber is TheOdd1sOut.