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Baljeet From Tech Support and his brother Baldeet From Tech Support are the villainous protagonists of The Absurd And Very Illegal Misadventures Of Baljeet And Baldeet. They are two master scam artists and hackers, hailing from Kekistan in the far-off land of Tech Support. While each timeline has a different version of the two, due to different events taking place, the core of the characters remain the same. They are backstabbing, greedy, money-hungry, and selfish. Although it is not a constant, they are often depicted as being very violent. One reason that they are notorious is for their nearly impossible to understand, extremely fake accents.
Biography[]
1st Timeline[]
One day, two online scam artists, Baljeet and Baldeet came up with a plan to scam young Roblox players out of their money. They created accounts and went onto a server for a skateboarding game on Roblox. At first, the scam worked, and they were reaping the benefits. Then they realized an even better way to get rich off Roblox. They formed a plan to hack onto Roblox servers and to break into the mainframe, stealing all of Roblox's funds and getting rich as a result. Their egos began to consume them, and they felt that nothing could possibly go wrong with this plan. Unfortunately, the further they went with the plan, the more pressures began to boil. Before long, conflicts began to rise up. Not long after, the two were at each other's throats. Baljeet, the smarter of the two was constantly insulting his less intelligent brother, for his lack of a significant other and how he is a "chick-repellent". Due to this, the plan quickly fell apart. They were caught and busted for their attempted hack. The FBI was at their door, and they needed to act fast. They ran and hid in the conveniently nearby Hawkins Laboratory, where the famous show Stranger Things was filmed and where the actual events that the show was based off took place. There, they hid. Baljeet would get a notification, from Roblox, that was sent by a man who he did not know, that was giving him a job offer. The man told them to meet up in a Roblox server, as to avoid suspicion. Ironically, the game the man was on was dedicated to Millie Bobby Brown, made by a fan of Her's. On the server, Baldeet found Carl Wheezer, a well-known meth manufacturer and friend of druglord, Jimmy Neutron. Carl sent them coordinates to meet up in real life. Ironically, the coordinates where right outside of a skatepark. Carl sold them 1000$ worth of meth. However, instead of using it, Baljeet saw a business opportunity. He decided to sell all of the meth for a higher price in order to get rich. They managed to get several local buyers and dealers on the line, but it was not enough for Baljeet. They decided to sell it to the creator of Roblox, figuring that he would pay a very high price for it, and that they might be able to convince him to sell the main Roblox server, getting even more profits due to owning one of the largest social platforms in the world. Unfortunately, the guards outside of Roblox HQ recognized them and called the FBI, causing them to retreat. They then decided to sell it to Millie, given it was a fan's server that had gotten them into the business and that she was very rich. Baljeet tried to convince her that he was a friend of Her's from tech support, however she saw through this and called the cops. The police did find them, having an arrest warrant for the two due to owning and selling a ridiculous amount of meth, scamming multiple minors out of thousands of dollars' worth of cash, attempting to sell meth to a minor, and attempted tyranny causing Baljeet to run for it. Although he was able to escape, he was banned off Roblox, for good. After this, the two went into hiding due to Baljeet being hunted down by the FBI. Due to Baljeet insulting Baldeet's beloved pet monkey, the two shift apart and eventually separate. During this time, Baljeet's operation continues, and he becomes the most wanted man in America. Meanwhile, Baldeet learns that he actually fathered a mix-bread, human-monkey hybrid son, who called himself Unkee. Unkee was also in hiding, somewhere in Brooklyn. Baldeet, wanting to become a father, began his search for his son. Little did he know that his son was actually a ravenous cannibalistic serial killer.
Soon, Baldeet is arrested and put into holding. There, he is interrogated as to the whereabouts of his wanted brother. They get him to tell them due to also having his beloved pet monkey in holding. After this, the police storm the apartment Baljeet was residing in and after an intense chase, he is arrested. While Baldeet is given a 15-year sentence, his brother is not as lucky. His brother is put into an "elevated cell", where all of the most wanted people are put. At first Baljeet is happy because he and the other three people in the cell, a serial killer, a sexual predator and a taliban, are feared and respected in the prison. However, he is still focused on planning his eventual escape and his comeback. Baldeet is also given something his brother could never offer, respect from his fellow inmates. This is due to him being in a close relationship with the most wanted man in America. However, Baljeet soon discovers that he and his cellmates are actually on death row and his is slated to die by electric chair. He now kicks into high gear, forming a master escape plan. He begins to make deals around the prison and gets other inmates and mobsters on his side, all while his cellmates are slowly getting axed off and his due date is getting closer. One day, Baldeet is selected by a group of scientists who transport him to a different, much more experimental wing. It is here where he discovers that he is actually in fact a genius and even smarter than his brother, but due to the number of neurons in his brain, and his childish demeaner, he comes across as an idiot. He begins making breakthroughs and gets closer and closer with his inner genius, all the while his brother is getting closer and closer to his death. Baldeet is let go but has to clean out his cell. While he is doing this, he decides to let his newfound genius help his brother and decides to help him escape. Baldeet helps his brother, allowing him to flee the prison while he is being transported. After a chase from the cops, he makes his way into a city, where he is unfortunately hit by a semi-truck. This allows police dogs to catch up with him. However, these police dogs are actually infested with a rare breed of Super-Rabies. The crazed, bloodthirsty dogs repeatably bite and scratch at Baljeet's nuts, infecting him as well. The wild Baljeet rips apart the police officers and everyone else on the interstate. He continues on, killing everything in his way. Eventually he makes his way into his old apartment. His ex-girlfriend whom he had a past relationship with, before breaking up was still living there. He burst through the window grabbed the dog and ripped him apart. He lunged at her and did the same. Eventually, Baldeet caught up leading to a showdown. Baljeet was able to kill his brother, leaving only one person left in the house to kill. Himself. He grabbed a sword and stabbed himself repeatably, until eventually dying. However, Baldeet's monkey was still present. The madly in love monkey grabbed her lover's body and dragged him onto a nearby soul-swap machine. She sacrificed herself to allow Baldeet to enter her body, and her into his dead corpse. The now monkey Baldeet fled the building, continuing his search for his crazed son.
2nd Timeline[]
*NOTE: All of the events of the last timeline, leading up to Baljeet selling the meth, still occur in this timeline.
Baljeet's plan to sell the meth ended up paying off very well. They would go onto the dark web and various Roblox servers and sell the meth to as many people who would buy them. They're pockets where filling up. They had hired a man named Rico Rodriguez, to act as a mule and transport the meth to the buyer and also to promote their business. They soon caught wind of a man with violent tendencies who was searching for a dealer willing to sell, named the Postal Dude. This gave Baljeet an idea. He would sell Dude the meth and convince him to shoot up Valve HQ while intoxicated. During this, he would send his brother, who was more resilient and better at fighting, into Valve to steal Gabe Newell's computer. After this, he would download everything on it, including Half-life 3. He would then sell HL3 and make millions of dollars. How could he lose? Unfortunately, after the deal went through, Rico backed out. They now needed to transport the meth by themselves. Little did Baljeet know, Baldeet was forming a secret plan. For Deet had always wanted to be the center of attention and was tired of playing second fiddle. Ever since getting into the meth business, Deet had been forming a secret plan. He would create a virus known as "the meth virus". He would do this by purposefully inhaling toxic fumes and infecting himself, before unleashing it upon America. They decided to transport the meth by stuffing it into SpongeBob plushies and selling them via a transportation truck. While, manufacturing the meth, Deet would purposefully botch the process, making it toxic to inhale. He then inhaled the fumes, infecting himself. Part one of the process was a success. He then infected his brother before running outside and infecting as many people as possible. His brother attempted to fight him off, but to no evail. He tried to get him to get stuck in a fridge, but once more, no luck. In Baldeet's dying moments he framed his brother for the virus before dying. The virus would soon overtake the country and before long the world, starting the apocalypse.
3rd Timeline[]
Baljeet and his temperamental brother Baldeet, were a duo of online scammers and hackers. Despite not being in a relationship, Baldeet cared very deeply about his pet monkey. One day, Baljeet was wondering what would happen if he were to make a human-monkey hybrid and how much money he would make off of it. So, he did the funky with the monkey to make the human-monkey hybrid. After Baldeet found out, he was furious and made a document exposing his perverted brother. Soon, Baljeet's girlfriend found out and broke up with him. Enraged, he took to Twitter and framed his brother for doing it with the monkey. Not long after, a large crowd of people began to believe him and spread his lie. He then decided to sue his brother for other 7 million dollars, to bank in on the clout. In court, he managed to convince the court that he was innocent and that this brother was the true pervert. On top of that, due to zoophilia being a crime, his brother was also facing a prison sentence. Baljeet won the case and Baldeet was sent to prison.
4th Timeline[]
Baljeet and his mentally unstable brother Baldeet, were a duo of online scammers and hackers. Baldeet never had any kind of romantic relationship. Because of this, he had an unhealthy relationship with his pet monkey. He eventually decided to do the funky with his monkey. Creating a half-human half-monkey hybrid named Unkee. He also became extremely ill. His smarter brother, tried to convince him to see a doctor. However, he refused. He unknowingly had been the first person to be infected with a deadly new virus called the Monkeyvirus. He began to infect other people with the deadly new virus. On top of that, his monkey ran off with his brother, because he hated doing the funky with him, while the monkey enjoyed doing the funky with his brother. As all of this is going on, the virus is spreading, soon becoming an epidemic. This epidemic would then lead to the apocalypse. All of this would lead to Baldeet snapping a murdering 5 people in a large-scale shootout. As America became a barren, post-apocalyptic wasteland, Baljeet would return to Kekistan and Baldeet would go into hiding, now a wanted man. Before long, Baljeet would return to the plague-infested America to reunite with his brother. His brother's mental state had declined significantly, without his monkey. He and his brother would soon get into a massive argument over who "fricked over" the other more, leading to Baldeet grabbing a gun and firing. Baljeet grabbed a golf club to defend himself. The two proceeded to battle before Deet shot Jeet in the testicles. Jeet ran off to hide from his crazed brother as Deet began to shoot up the town. Before long, the entire town had been slain. But he was not done yet, he continued his murdering spree. After 5 years he had successfully killed everybody on the planet. Except for one. His brother snuck up on him with his golf club, planning to end his evil once and for all. However, his evil brother had woken up. He grabbed his gun and shot Jeet in the testicles, killing him instantly. After this he decided to finally locate Unkee, his hybrid son. he eventually found the hybrid abomination residing in the halls of Hawkins lab. He immediately killed it. After this, he became very lonely, so he decided to clone himself and his brother's wife hundreds of times, to repopulate the planet. This continued on well for 1 year before people soon caught wind of his crimes. He was sent to court for murdering 7 billion people. He was declared guilty and sent to the electric chair, ending the bloodshed once and for all.
5th Timeline[]
Baljeet and his much more morally conscious brother Baldeet where a duo of scam artists. One day they were camped outside of a skating rink selling v-bucks gift cards. These, of course where just scams and even had malware on them, but they made them a good hundred dollars. Eventually they met a man named Carl Wheezer who ran a meth factory. Carl and Baljeet soon teamed up and started producing meth on a large scale. Baljeet pushed aside his scamming business and work with his brother to pursue work in the meth industry. Carl taught him his ways, but unfortunately Carl didn't have much longer to live due to his terminal brain cancer. Eventually Carl died and Baljeet inherited the factory. He soon got to work creating a massive meth empire. He became the head of the meth industry. He would do anything it took to get what he wanted, including killing his own brother and his wife. he slowly became more and more of a monster and less of his former self. Eventually, one of his workers, who had also secretly been trained my carl decided to start a rebellion. He joined with other people in the industry and got to work on a resistance team to rebel against Baljeet. Baljeet was always at his luxurious mansion, which was right next to his factory. They decide to plant bombs inside the mansion while he was in it, which would kill him and destroy his empire. However, while they were setting the bombs, they where caught by other workers. They where dragged down to the basement where they where interrogated and tortured one by one, before eventually being killed. All while Baljeet was upstairs counting his money, high off his own product. Soon the cops arrived and stormed the place, starting a shootout. During the shootout, the only surviving resistance member grabbed the detonator and set off all of the bombs, killing everyone inside.
Personalities[]
Baljeet is the overall more intelligent of the two (which isn't saying much). He is constantly planning and is overall rather cunning. He has many big plans and ideas for success, but these almost never pan out due to his lesser intellect. He is arrogant, egotistical and very selfish. This is with the exception of the 4th timeline, in which he is actually much nicer than he usually is and has a much stronger moral compass. He is uncompromising and will do whatever and use whoever it takes to achieve his goal. He is mean and rude to everyone he knows, including his brother.
Baldeet is much more of a wild card in terms of personality. For the most part he is dumb and barely thinks for himself, instead being told what to do by his brother. He has more brawn than he does strength. Despite being pretty stupid, he is actually stronger and more resilient than his rather weak brother. This is with the exception of the 2nd timeline, in which he is devious, cold, and actually very smart. He is also noticeably much more evil. Despite having a brutish mentality and having a short temper, he actually loves his monkey. He also is arguably more sane than his brother, with the exception of the 4th timeline, where he is a mass murdering lunatic. He is also shown to be kind at times, to others.
Appearance[]
Baljeet is short, thin and pale. He has messy, black hair and a slouching posture. One noticeable feature of his is the scar on his left cheek, which is absent in the 3rd and 4th timelines. His casual attire consists of a t-shirt and ripped jeans. While "on the clock" he wears a white button up shirt and a black tie. Due to the nature of his "job", he usually just wears his underpants. When not "on the clock" Baljeet uses his actual voice, although he does frequently still use his fake one.
Baldeet is tall and plump, even overweight. He is completely bald with not a spec of hair on his body aside from his thick, bushy eyebrows. He usually wears a dirty, stained, tank top with acid-washed shorts. His only real noticeable feature is his affinity for Disney merchandise, specifically his mickey mouse ears, which he frequently wears. Unlike his brother, he is constantly using his fake voice. He is also almost constantly wearing the exact same severely stained white button-up shirt and dress jacket, usually accompanied by tight shorts.
Quotes[]
| “ | Hello, I am Baljeet from tech support. | „ |
| ~ Baljeet |
| “ | Hello, I am your Nigerian prince brudah. | „ |
| ~ Baldeet |
| “ | That is not what monkeys are for. | „ |
| ~ Baldeet |
| “ | You dumb-fu- | „ |
| ~ Baljeet |
| “ | You want free V-bucks? | „ |
| ~ Baljeet |
| “ | You promised me free ROBUX! | „ |
| ~ Baldeet |
| “ | PLEASE GOD WOMAN DO NOT READ THAT DOCUMENT! | „ |
| ~ Baljeet |
| “ | KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF MY MONKEY! | „ |
| ~ Baldeet |
Trivia[]
- Despite their names and (later revealed to be fake) accents, neither of them are actually Indian and are actually white.
- In most timelines, Baljeet is more evil, with the exception of the 2nd and 4th.
- While Baljeet did the funky with the monkey in the 3rd, and 5th timelines, Baldeet did it in the 1st, 2nd and 4th.
- Baldeet's fate in the 1st timeline is currently unknown, although it is most likely that he died shortly after the events of his brother's infection.
- Baldeet lost ALL of his previously discovered intelligence in the end of the 1st timeline, due to being transported into the body of a monkey.
- This story is in no way sponsored by Roblox.
- Despite still playing a role as a villain, Baljeet actually did try to stop his eviler brother from releasing the virus in the 2nd timeline, but died before he could.
- It is never made clear if Postal Dude from the 2nd timeline actually ever got his meth or not, although it is not likely.
- Baljeet is a huge fan of classic metal, while Baldeet is a fan of country music.
- While Unkee is confirmed to have survived to an older age despite the mix breeding in the 1st and 4th timeline, it is never made clear in any other timeline.
- It is unknown if Baljeet and Baldeet are their real names or if they are merely other aliases, although, either way, that is what they refer to each other as.
- Baldeet's plan in the 2nd timeline dosen't make any sense, because he created the virus to get recognition and publicity, but he ended up framing his brother, so he wouldn't have gotten any publicity anyways.
- It is unclear how conscious Baljeet was during his Super-Rabies infection, as a matter a fact, he could have been completely conscious and even, in some way, in control.
- I created Baljeet, and his stories, while my brother created Baldeet.
Gallery[]
