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"King Stormlance has declared that this page is his domain." This page, Bernard Blaymont, was written by TheBiggestBigBoi. Any original work, images, etc. presented here is therefore theirs under the CC BY-NC-ND license. Please do not add onto, delete, or copy anything on this page without the original author's permission. Thank you. |
| “ | You want to join us so bad, you pathetic, sniveling craven? Then kill him. Right here. Right now. | „ |
| ~ Bernard ordering Justin to murder Prof. Mesony |
| “ | I do enjoy crushing annoying, weak throats. | „ |
| ~ Bernard right before almost killing Luanne |
Bernard Blaymont is the opening antagonist of the Splatoon fanfic Kissing and Killing in Inkopolis by TheBiggestBigBoi, appearing as the main antagonist of “The Kidnapping” and a posthumous antagonist afterwards.
A former Grizzco worker, Bernard was caught smuggling and later became a full-fledged member of the Wrath-Violet Gang. His violent temper and his immense strength makes him a valuable asset for keeping the gangsters in line. He conspired with local con artist Justin Headfoot to buy a kidnapping victim off of him in exchange for joining the gang. However, the deal was stopped by Simon and Luanne which left Bernard and multiple of his cronies dead.
Personality[]
Bernard is an extremely temperamental and wrathful man, making him a suitable member of the gang. He lashes out at any hint of disrespect towards him such as laughter or the mere presence of weaklings like Justin and Prof. Mesony. What will really tick him off is if he is called any pet-names, taking it as the ultimate insult. He is prone to destructive fits of rage when provoked and will smash anything with his chain whip, both objects and people alike. He is also very sadistic as he gloats when about to kill Luanne and enjoys lording his power over people he views as inferior.
Biography[]
Past[]
Not much is known about Bernard's past or what drove him to become a criminal. However, what is known is that he was a Grizzco employee who abused his position to smuggle golden eggs to the Wrath-Violet Gang. He kept this up for a while but was eventually exposed by an unknown whistleblower and was subsequently arrested.
He didn't stay incarcerated for long, as he ended up busting out of prison and killed some guards in the process. Since he was outed for being a smuggler and his prisonbreak stunt, he had no room left for subtlety and ended up becoming an open member of the Wrath-Violet Gang. His time working for the criminals allowed him to amass a large bounty, according to Pearl.
The Kidnapping[]
Bernard first appears with some members of his gang when Justin Headfoot drives up to the area in Plankton Point that he agreed to meet him in to buy a hostage from him. Justin revealed that he brought the former hero Prof. Hamilton Mesony and tries to use him as payment to join the gang. Bernard gets angry and reprimands Justin because Mesony is extremely weakened from an infection and will have no use to his boss. Bernard then hands Justin a splattershot and tells him to kill the hapless professor if he wants in.
Justin takes the gun and hesitates. Before he can pull the trigger, the bounty hunters Simon and Luanne appear and shoot the gun out of Justin's hand and start attacking the gangsters. Bernard takes out his chain whip with a slosher at the end of it and starts counterattacking wildly. Simon grabs the professor and runs back to Justin's van while Luanne holds them off.
During the battle, Simon and Luanne struggle to find any weaknesses in this brute of a man as none of their attacks seem to faze him. However, their luck begins to change when Simon mockingly calls Bernard "Bernie." The massive gangster gets significantly more barbaric, to the point where he can't even think straight. They continue to mock him and lure him up an abandoned building.
Bernard scales the ruin much quicker than expected and manages to catch Luanne by the throat. He gloats as he prepares to kill her, giving Simon the chance to savagely jump onto his face and latch onto him. Bernard drops his weapon and Luanne as he desperately tries to rip Simon off his face, to no avail. Luanne uses the opportunity to grab the chain whip while Simon pulls Bernard's chain necklace behind him. After a few seconds, Simon knocks Bernard to the ground. While he was dazed, the pair stuck the chain whip through the chain necklace. Before Bernard could stop them, Simon and Luanne jumped off the building with opposite ends of the whip in hand. This caused the necklace to crush Benard's windpipe, killing him. Simon and Launne were unable to collect his bounty because he's just too heavy to bring back and begrudgingly left the body atop the building.
Legacy[]
Several people mention Bernard after he was killed. Off the Hook confirmed his death a week later and others begin to realize that it was Simon and Luanne who killed him. At the end of the chapter, another member of the gang, Amethyst, informs the leader of the gang that Bernard and several other gangsters have been killed and vows revenge for all of them. Before she leaves, her boss orders her to bring Bernard's body to him because "he may still be able to help [the gang], even beyond the grave.”
Later, at the end of “The Salmonids Pt. 2”,the boss, disguised as a guard, visits Justin in prison and hands him a note asking if he knows who killed Bernard Blaymont. Justin writes the bounty hunters' names, and is rewarded with a can of pudding and a thank-you note from L. R., which causes the con artist to realize that the guard was actually the leader of the Wrath-Violet Gang, Lavender Royalhue.