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I... I think I'm having a breakthrough, Doc. I.. I feel like I'm a worthless, incompetent, a failure, and an irrelevant old crook. I thought my whole life having friends might help him out and having an expensive house might make him feel better. I, Professor C. Enderman, undeniably, am suited for evil. I thrive on the suffering of others, it's really the only thing that gives me joy. The only way I feel like I'm having a good time is running from the police, stealing valuable objects, or just killing and torturing anyone I damn well please! And you know what? Instead of running from that side of me, I embrace it. I'm Sheldon Motherfucking Enderman! And the only way I feel happy and content is with a gun in my hand and a price on his head!
~ Enderman during therapy with Doctor Applecheek.


Enderman is the overall secondary antagonist of the webcomic Pastamonsters. He serves as one of the primary antagonists of Season 1, the main antagonist of Season 2, one of the main antagonists in Season 3, a major antagonist through most of Season 4 before becoming a deuteragonist in the final half, and later becomes a villain protagonist in Season 5.

He is the self-proclaimed rival of Slenderman as well as the Proxies. He primarily runs a gang of monsters consisting of himself, The Rake, B.O.B, and, formerly, Eyeless Jack.

Enderman is a member of a species of mysterious creatures that resides in the world of Realft. They are normally neutral but once attacked, they can become very violent. Enderman are very vulnerable to water. Enderman is always trying to overthrow Slendermen via nefarious tactics or manipulating the Proxies. Barring that, he ultimately aims for crushing all of the Under Realm beneath his feet.

Personality

Enderman embodies the very essence of a tyrannical psychopath. He is an incredibly greedy, strict, mentally disturbed, vindictive, power-hungry, arrogant, opportunistic, malicious, violent, and sadistic megalomaniac. Along with not actually paying his employees, he often uses them as test subjects for his latest schemes and yells at them for minor infractions. His generally nasty attitude has led a lot of people in and out of the Under Realm to loathe him. Even Zalgo, a demon who destroys planets for fun, doesn't think too highly of him (mostly only because he finds Enderman annoying). In fact, in "Legends of the Multiverse", Zalgo even halfheartedly thanked Jeff, expressing some gratitude for foiling Enderman's hairbrained schemes. Although, B.O.B does calls him "a good friend", but seeing as how this is coming from B.O.B, the statement rings hollow.

Whenever it is convenient, Enderman has feigned innocence, convinced the others that he is a nice, harmless and unobjectionable person, and lied to the town of the Under Realm in order to get them on his side, as shown in "The Rise of Enderman". Even when revealing his plans for Endermania, which consisted of stripping people of free will, killing innocent people using dynamite to make space for real estate, and becoming an oppressive and totalitarian dictator, he tries to paint it in a positive image for the crowd. However, his plan is exposed to the town, leading him to be despised by virtually everyone in the Under Realm.

Enderman finds satisfaction in inflicting pain on others, mostly out of pleasure and vengeance. In one instance, he traps BEN and mercilessly waterboards him, is known to kill and experiment on stray animals, and he's more than enthusiastic while generally causing chaos and disorder. He clearly enjoys being a hegemonic villain even beyond wanting to topple Slenderman. For example, when a random customer beat him in a game of poker, Enderman steals back the money he lost, has the Rake eat the man's hand off, and shoots the man in the leg for inconveniencing him. Throughout the series, Enderman displays very little interest in actually killing his enemies and finds them much more fun to hurt while still living, as seen many times with the Proxies. He even admits to his minions that he didn't even need to kill and torture Mr. X, implying his actions were motivated purely by sadism. Enderman also often made one's circumstances even worse than death if they still longed to fight him; such as when he absorbed Malitch's trophy and became a dragon, Enderman instantly mind-controlled almost every Proxy except Jeff and attempted to have Jeff murdered by them, finding the thought of having Jeff murdered by his own friends hilarious.

Going in hand with his ruthless nature, Enderman has zero issues over killing children if they get in his way, as shown with BEN and Sally. Sometimes, they don't even need to be in his way. In "Attack of the Morons", when Enderman, the Rake, and B.O.B are being chased by the police, Enderman deliberately steers and accelerates their escape car to make sure it runs over a baby. On one occasion, Enderman casually tells Sally that he has killed at least seven infants. There is even an episode where he thinks about turning BEN and Sally into cyborg slaves, but decides not to as to save on money.

Even in his youth Enderman displayed common traits of a psychopathic sadist. The episode "Therapy" has a series of flashbacks featuring a young Enderman torturing animals in grotesque ways: blowing up a dog's face off using firecrackers, running stray cats over with his tricycle, plucking the eyes out of puppies, suffocating a family of possums using smoke bombs, slowly ripping the limbs off of bugs, and brutally torturing a frog for days on end. When the frog begged Enderman to kill it with a hammer, asking "Haven't I suffered enough?!", Enderman merely said "No" and refused to kill it, leaving it in a state of pure agony.

In "The Chain Mail", Enderman is shown to have a vain and incredibly petty side to his personality. After being dumped by numerous women, the very old Enderman blamed his now hideous appearance on the sun and planned to use the powers of Malitch's trophy to plunge the universe into eternal darkness in exchange for eternal youth.

Despite his self-proclaimed greatness and psychotic personality, Enderman rarely succeeds in his evil plans and is held up as a complete laughingstock by nearly everyone- a fact that he is either oblivious to or simply chooses to ignore. Despite the fact that he loses regularly, his self-absorbed nature prevents him from acknowledging any of his failures, and he chooses only to speak about the better things that came from each incident and never learn from his mistakes. Despite his ambition to kill Slenderman and the Proxies and take over the universe, he's easily misled by Mancala, fails to pose a serious challenge to Slenderman during most situations, and is forced to take advice from other enemies. To even get his plans into motion, he usually has to get help from a higher being such as Zalgo. In fact, he spends nearly all of his screen-time in Season 4 simply trying to become one of Zalgo's minions. Enderman is also very cowardly when faced with those more powerful than him, such as Zalgo and Slenderman. He also is not as good as leading a group of people as Slenderman is, as shown by Enderman's team's consistent failure rate. However, very rarely, there have been a few episodes where Enderman gets the last laugh on the Proxies.

At the same time, Enderman is rather comically eccentric. He sees himself as the smartest and most competent being in the universe, despite his blatant incompetence. When making plans to harm the Proxies, he often tries to create overly unnecessarily complicated plans, before settling on a simpler version. For example, one of his plans was to turn Slenderman into a flea using BEN and Sally's size-shifting flashlight and put him in a box and put that box in another box and mail it to himself and smash it with a hammer when it arrives, but changes his mind to simply turning Slenderman small. However, he usually fails to pay attention to minor details, which results in his plans being thwarted.

Enderman is very arrogant and narcissistic, most of the time to his own detriment. He considers everyone around him "sheep" who need to be led by himself, believing that the world should revolve around him and his desires. For example, Enderman's biggest plan is to turn the Under Realm into "Endermania", a dictatorship where practically everything revolves around him and people follow his every whim at the threat of death. It also never occurs to him that any of his plans could ever fail because he's too convinced of his own genius, so if any of his plans do, he's caught off-guard and without a backup plan, forcing him to improvise, which he's not very good at doing. In addition to this, his prime ambition is to have everyone in the universe recognize him as a strong leader, and those fantasies often involved the citizens of the Under Realm building statues in his likeness, valuing his input during political meetings, and most of all, giving him their undivided attention. However, it quickly gets overridden by his own desperation and evil antics.

Despite his frequent displays of stupidity, it is clear that Enderman is highly intelligent in some respects - being a keen inventor of tools and devices, including building a time machine and a super-robot despite having limited resources. But he has absolutely no apparent interest in thinking things through, and wastes much of his time fretting about or dealing with unimportant "threats." Moreover, it is evident that he is more than capable of conquering the Under Realm, yet he hardly ever uses this capability properly, and has often been very close to taking over the planet, only to be thwarted by his own negligence.

Despite being blatantly evil, his henchman B.O.B and the Rake consider Enderman a good friend. This can be easily blown off as B.O.B being too stupid to see how cruel Enderman truly is, and the Rake merely enjoying being evil alongside Enderman. Even with their admiration, Enderman blows B.O.B off as a "clown" he wouldn't even employ to lick his boots. Enderman does get really angry and upset when Eyeless Jack, his henchman at the time, disbands from his company, but it's clear that he only cared about him because he was his most efficient henchman, and the main reason he's pissed is that the Proxies "made a fool of him" by ruining the loyalty of his men. He often blames the failures of his evil plans on B.O.B or the Rake; while they do hold some of the blame, a lot of it usually has to do with the fact that Enderman's plans tend to be either too convoluted to actually work, doomed to fail from the start, Enderman's own overconfidence and arrogance that his schemes can have no faults, or all of the above.

Enderman is well-known to have an explosive temper to anything, such as food, disturbances, irritations, etc. In fact, questioning his authority and messing with his ego are probably the most dangerous things anyone can do around him. Furthermore, he kills, tortures, or attacks people for the slightest offenses towards him. He even got angry when Ticci Toby yawned during his speech, which caused the other Proxies to call out Enderman's temper. Enderman seems to especially hate people he thinks are stupid, such as Jeff and B.O.B. Enderman is also shown to have a very sarcastic tongue towards idiotic people, although his humor often goes over their heads, much to his anger.

In one of the most emotional moments of Legends of the Multiverse, Enderman reveals to the Proxies that he is secretly ashamed of his constant failure and tries to mask it by pretending that he knows everything. But in truth, Enderman is terrified of accepting his own incompetence and admits that he is the loser his father told him he would become. This is precisely the reason why he is so driven to become Zalgo's minion in Season 4; he thought that by joining Zalgo's army and using their resources, he could finally accomplish something in his life.

Despite his incredibly sadistic and cruel nature, Enderman does truly care for and appreciate his men, B.O.B and the Rake and his henchmen in general. In "To Proxy Mountain", he throws a party for his mooks, and actually tries to cheer them up when they're not amused. He is also pretty casual with the Rake and to a lesser extent, B.O.B. Enderman, B.O.B, and the Rake go on vacations together and share a photo album, they're clearly quite chummy with each other, and the Rake is clearly one of the few people Enderman shows any sort of respect towards. In the finale of the "Legends of the Multiverse" arc, Enderman screams in horror when B.O.B was eaten by Zalgo's minions, and was relieved when B.O.B turned out to be alright. Enderman was also capable of putting his differences with the Proxies aside to help them defeat common enemies such as Laughing Jack and Zalgo.

Appearance

Ah, Enderman. Living proof that dinosaurs once roamed the Earth.
~ Clyde about Enderman.


Enderman has the typical appearance of the Endermen race. He is a tall, dark, and thin humanoid, has long, skinny legs and arms, pinkish-purple eyes, and fingerless, cube-shaped hands. However, he does not emit purple participial like the rest of his species. In regards to his height, he is taller than Jeff but shorter than Slenderman. In close up, detailed images of his face, he has a very wrinkly and shriveled appearance, denoting his old age.

Shades of purple and black in Pastamonsters are almost exclusively reserved for Enderman and his world (Endermania). These colors were chosen because they are generally considered the colors of madness. Enderman's angular shape is intended to suggest his evil nature; early designs depict an even more jagged, pointed figure.

List of Enderman deaths

NOT AGAAAAAAIN!!!
~ Enderman falling to his death.


Much like B.O.B and the Rake, Enderman has died many times, and almost all of his deaths are humiliating and painful. Of course, given his abusive nature and nastiness, Enderman usually deserves the horrible deaths he gets. Regarding how he always comes back, it is unclear if he is a clone of the previous Enderman with the same name, or comes back to life a la Kenny McCormick.

  • Mustard Please: Falls into a pit of fire.
  • The Rise of Enderman: Thrown into a river by the citizens of the Under Realm.
  • Run Away: Kicked into a river by Jeff, which melts him.
  • Casino Royale: Hangs himself in a bathroom.
  • The Chain Mail: Knocked down into a body of water where he dissolved and was blown up.
  • Forgotten Dream: Is thrown into an exploding machine by Jeff, killing him instantly.
  • To Proxy Mountain: Is killed along with Mancala, the Rake, and B.O.B in a supernova-sized explosion.
  • That's a Lotta Fish: Jumps into the ocean where he is seemingly melted by the water and then eaten by a shark (although whether he actually died or not is questioned by Jeff and President Bush).
  • Whaling Good Time: He is accidentally killed by the Rake, who shot Enderman in the head on accident while playing with a speargun.
  • Fear Itself: Lit on fire and then ran over by a car.
  • Deleted: Killed along with B.O.B and the Rake when K.A.R.E.N self-destructs.
  • Faith: Is possibly killed by a group of fan-girls.
  • Protect the Baby: He is knocked into a woodchipper.
  • Bigmouth Manor Mystery: Enderman and his gang freeze to death in Mayor Bigmouth's freezer when the Proxies and their friends forget they were in there.

Theme Song

Enderman'stheme pastamonsters

Combat Stats

Enderman (Pastamonsters)'s statistics

Combat
3/10
Intelligence
11/10
Leadership
4/10
Loyalty from subordinates
5/10
Temper
10/10

Gallery

Images

Quotes

Enderman Sr.: Enderman, how was the baseball game?
Young Enderman: It was the best, daddy! HUGE! I met lots of friends and-
Enderman Sr.: But did you win?
Young Enderman: Well, no, but...
Enderman Sr.: THEN YOU'RE A LOSER!!!
Young Enderman: Wait?! But, but!
Enderman Sr.: A FUCKING LOSER!!!
Young Enderman: But, daddy, the glove you gave me was too big!
Enderman Sr.: It fits me fine! It fits all winners fine! You know who would have won?! SLENDERMAN!! Why can't you be more like him?!
Young Enderman: Daddy, stop it!
Enderman Sr.: Daddy will NEVER love you again!
Young Enderman: NOOOOOOOO!!!
~ Enderman's hatred of Slenderman begins at a young age.


Not funny... Not fucking funny. I'll become rich and successful and then we'll see who's laughing then. I'm not a loser, YOU'RE THE FUCKING LOSER!!! And there's nothing worse in this world than a LOSER!!
~ Enderman's downward spiral begins after Slenderman insulted him.


Enderman: (sniffs cocaine in a dimly lit room on a stormy night) No, no, NOOOO! (smashes a mirror) It's ok, Enderman. Slenderman didn't mean it. (sniffs) They probably (sniffs) already (sniffs) forgot about it. Let's just see what's on the telly. (turns on the TV)
The Skin Taker: Enderman, son of the Under Realm's most wealthy entrepreneur Enderman Sr., was utterly humiliated today in front of Slenderman at the grand opening of Proxy Mansion. Yes, folks, it was pretty clear today who the leader of a worldwide cult is, and who is merely just a Minecraft copy with too much money.
Enderman: (smashes the TV) ARGH! (cries in front of a painting of his father) You... You were right. I am a fucking loser. Papa... I could never live up to you...
The Skin Taker: We have just had the chance to interview Slenderman on his thoughts of what went down today.
Slenderman: I haven't the time to discuss this Enderman fellow, but the truth is he has not the charisma nor the leadership skill of mine. I'd just like to see him try to lead his own team.
Enderman: (slowly rises at the TV) Haha. Hahaha. Hahahaha! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! (begins construction of a sign while laughing; we then cut to Enderman outside of his mansion in a storm, looking at a sign he has just added; the sign reads "Enderman's Place: Now Accepting Recruits") HAHAHAHAHAAA!!! WHO'S YOUR FAVORITE NOW, DAD?! HAAAAAAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!!
~ Enderman fully becomes a villain and begins his quest to overthrow Slenderman.


It is I, Professor C. Enderman!
~ Enderman's catchphrase.


FUCK YOU, MOTHERFUCKER!
~ Enderman's other catchphrase, usually in response to someone who enraged him.


Justice is served hot, Proxies! You're going to fry just like a grilled cheese sandwich!
~ Enderman preparing to send Jeff and BEN to the incinerator.


Well, now you're Jeff the Killer soup: high in vitamin dumbass.
~ Enderman after apparently melting Jeff in an incinerator.


Eyeless Jack: Mr. Enderman...
Enderman: It's Dr. Enderman, I didn't get a degree in chemical engineering and a doctorate in computer science to be called "mister," thank you very much.
~ Eyeless Jack and Enderman


I'd rather be motherfuckin' safe, than motherfuckin' sorry.
~ Enderman in response to the Rake's question on why he puts a self-destruct button on all of his inventions.


STOP CRITICIZING ME! That's all my mother ever did was criticize me! From the day I was born it was always "Slenderman" this or "Slenderman" that! Or "Enderman, why can't you be more like that guy, SLENDERMAN?! (throws a dagger at a portrait of Slenderman)
~ Enderman arguing with the Rake.


The Rake: (Placing the grenade bowling balls down) And one more makes seven.
Enderman: You're certainly on the ball today, Mr. Rake. If you were a dog, I'd scratch your belly. If you were a cat, I'd give you warm milk until you started to purr. But since you're neither of these, I'll just say thanks for a job well done.
The Rake: What if I was a giraffe?
Enderman: Well I- ...What?
The Rake: Pretend I'm a giraffe. What are you going to do to me?
Enderman: I- I don't know, I guess I would give you a nice long massage...
The Rake: What if I was a goat? A dirty, dirty goat. What would you do then?
Enderman: I don't know, what would you want me to do?
The Rake: Something we'd both regret.
Enderman: (to himself) I've hired an idiot.
~ Enderman and the Rake.


Having these balls makes me feel something that resembles joy, I think. I want to caress them.
~ Enderman admiring the bowling ball grenades.


Anyway, I don't know why you're being so uncooperative. All I'm asking you to do is tell me all of Slenderman's secrets so I can steal it and conquer the world and enslave your loved ones.
~ Enderman to BEN and Sally.


Finally after all these years, after every humiliation! Your business, your Proxies, everything will finally be mine! You have no one to protect you now!
~ Enderman preparing to shrink Jeff.


Can't ya read? Your friends were supposed to get this package! Tampering with the mail is a federal offense, kid.
~ Enderman's very hypocritical statement towards Sally.


Zombie attack? Never works, they don't take orders. Blood rain? Hell no, rain and me do not mix. (chuckles) No fucking thank you. Demon Caterpillars? DRAT! There must be a perfect way to exact vengeance on those goddamn Proxies. It's not enough to harm 'em, I need to take something from them. Something that'll give me ultimate power. Wait, of course! It's perfect...
~ Enderman hatches another scheme.


Your brain isn't as safe as you might think, Slenderman! This is the last fucking straw! It's time to unlock the Under Realm's greatest secret...
~ Enderman preparing to summon Lord Zalgo.


You think that combination's safe in your mind, Slendy? We'll see what my new minion has to say about that! (Chanting:) Triangulum, entangulum. Vene foris dominus mentium. Vene foris videntis omnium!
~ Enderman summoning Zalgo.


!egassem sdrawkcaB !egassem sdrawkcaB !egassem sdrawkcaB !egassem sdrawkcaB !egassem sdrawkcaB !egassem sdrawkcaB
~ Enderman summoning Zalgo while possessed.


Enderman: Listen to me, demon! I have a job for you. I need you to enter the mind of Slenderman and steal the code to his safe.
Zalgo: Haha! Wait... Slenderman... (his eyes flash to show pictures of Slenderman and his tattoo) You know wait, Blockhead? You've convinced me. I'm sold! I'll help you with this and in return you can help me with something I've been working on! We'll work out the details later!
Enderman: Deal!
Zalgo: (his hand lights on red fire and he shakes hands with Enderman) Well, time to invade Slenderman's mind! This should be fun!
~ Enderman and Zalgo make a deal.


Enderman: The deal's off!
Zalgo: Wait, wait, wait!
Enderman: I'm switching to Plan B!
~ Enderman ends his deal with Zalgo.


Spoiler alert, Slenderman! I've got the deed! (Shows Slenderman and the Proxies the deed) Proxy Mansion and all your other precious mansions, hotels, and vacation homes belong to me! So get the fuck out of my property! (By a handheld transceiver:) Rake? Bring it around the front.
~ Enderman steals the deed to Slenderman's properties.


Hello, Under Realm! Ladies and gentlemen! Today I am delighted to announce my plans for the Under Realm. I give you... Endermania! B.O.B, would you do the honors? (B.O.B whistles as he shows a projection of "Endermania", showing monsters bowing before Enderman and slaves building statues of him) We've really grown in the past year. Nabbing Slenderman's deed was phase one. Now phase two is a little tricky. I hope you all don't mind but any and all of your little TV shows will also be changed to be centered around me. It'll make television a little more... Propagandist... Oh, yeah, and you all have to wear clothes with my name on it, and you'll all have to build statues of me every day of the week! Anyone who has a problem can talk to my complaint department (points to the Rake menacingly chewing a human foot). Happy customers! Phase three gets a little messy. I'm gonna need a lot of real estate around here, so I've gotta blow the competition away. Oh, and that's not a metaphor. We've literally got to blow AND bulldoze this town. Ok? Once the destruction- I mean- "recreation" is complete, this town will be turned it into a "utopia" where everything revolves around me! Hence the name "Endermania"! Also, ANYONE who mentions Slenderman's name around here will be put to slee- I mean- Taken to a place of happiness and wonder... probably forever. This town is mine!
~ Enderman explaining his plans to the citizens of the Under Realm.


Enderman: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my underground lair and the starting point of Endermania. I have gathered here before me the world's greatest constructionists, and yet each of you has failed to approve of my perfect world.
Contraction Worker: Sir, this plan would leave millions homeless, not to mention all the libraries and priceless museums that would be bulldozed in the process.
Enderman: Are you not following orders? That makes me fucking angry. And when Enderman gets angry, my computer wife Karen gets upset. And when Karen gets upset... people DIE! (Enderman kills the workers with his ray gun) WHY MUST I BE SURROUNDED BY FUCKIN' IDIOTS?!
~ Enderman killing his employees.


You just don't get, do ya, Rake? I'm done! I'm done dancing for the man! Zalgo, my parents, and Slenderman! They can all take a hike! I'm never gonna answer to anyone EVER AGAIN! (breaks out in tears, laughs evilly, then cries again before going back to normal) Oh, I just love my job!
~ Enderman to the Rake.


Enderman: Do you think the *thing* is finished? (Eyeless Jack looks at the ground) What are you... there's no fucking Mars Bar down there, what are you looking at? Look up here, look at me. (gets in Eyeless Jack's face) Do you think the machine is ready?
Eyeless Jack: No.
Enderman: THEN WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU SAY SO?! I've carried your dumbass for too long, Jack. I'm not gonna have you fucking cost me Endermania because your mind's on a fucking happy meal instead of on completing the goddamn robot.
~ Enderman yelling at Eyeless Jack.


Enderman: You know, I have one simple request. And that is to have sharks with fuckin' laser beams attached to their fuckin' heads! Now evidently my armless bipedal colleague informs me that that cannot be done. Ah, would you remind me what I pay you people for, honestly? Throw me a fucking bone here! What DO we have?
Eyeless Jack: Sea Bass.
Enderman: (stares in disbelief) ...Right.
Eyeless Jack: They're mutated sea bass.
Enderman: Are they ill-tempered?
Eyeless Jack: Absolutely.
Enderman: Oh well, that's a start.
~ Enderman and Eyeless Jack.


Okay, seriously. First off: "Prized student." What the fuck is that? What even IS that? What the fuck does that mean? I'll tell you what it means: It's just some stupid fucking legend passed by your filthy leader Slenderman around a campfire like it was his own shit. Let me tell you, Jeff: I don't deal in legends, I deal in facts. And here's a fact: By the end of this, you are going to be crying, like a little BITCH.
~ Enderman threatens Jeff.


You like my new toy? Cost me a fortune but, hey, I call it good spending. Just watch. It's a hell of a fuckin' light show, you're gonna love this.
~ Enderman presenting the Ender-Bot to Jeff, Sally, and BEN.


Ha, ha, ha! Do you think you're some kind of hero? You wanna know the truth, Jeffery? You're no fucking hero. You're just an annoying clown dressed up as a sex toy.
~ Enderman taunting Jeff.


Peace on Earth, goodwill towards men... Blardy, blardy, blar. Haha! Nobody's smart but me!
~ Enderman to Sally and BEN.


Once I get all those books, I'll rule this entire fucking town! Slenderman will be eating out of the palm of my hand! And y'know what? I'll be taking your friends as trophies of my success!
~ Enderman kidnapping BEN and Sally while inside the Ender-bot.


Face it, you ugly fuck! You're nothing without those friends of yours! How do you think a retard like you can stand any chance to a genius like me? All muscles, no brains. What are you gonna do, huh? What are you gonna do?!
~ Enderman taunting Jeff.


And they all lived happily ever after... Well, at least I did!
~ Enderman mocking Jeff.


No! No! Watch the hair! You can't do this to me! You're all fucking sheep! You need me! I'll be back! You'll hear from my lawyers! (the citizens of the Under Realm throw him down a ravine) NOT AGAAAAAAAIN!!
~ Enderman's defeat in "The Rise of Enderman".


🎵🎵 Why did I agree... To do this stupid song? I have a degree in chemical engineering...🎵🎵
~ Enderman singing the final note in "Endie-Bells" on his Endermania Christmas Album.


I never made it to the third grade, kid. And it doesn't look like you're gonna either!
~ Enderman to Sally Williams.


One more thing; B.O.B, give me that? (Is given an empty box of Kentucky Fried Children) Rake? If I ever find one of these lying around again, I swear to fucking God...I will stop being so polite. (B.O.B walks up to Enderman) Get the fuck out of my sight before I demolish you. I can still fucking see you, Mini Me!
~ Enderman warning the Rake.


It's brilliant, brilliant, brilliant, I tell you! Genius, I say!
~ Enderman, referring to his newest evil plot.


HAHAHA!! YES!!! I have the trophy now!! (hangs the trophy just out of Jeff's reach) Awww, can little Jeffy not reach the trophy. What's the matter, ugly? You gonna cry? (gets hit by a rock by BEN) OW, GODDAMMIT!!
~ Enderman mocking the Proxies before BEN hits him with a rock.


I'll take that! At last, more power than I could ever imagine!
~ Enderman, before absorbing the powers of Malitch's trophy.


I've had to jump through so many hoops tonight, just to get my hands on this fucking trophy, even though it really should've been mine all along. But let's let bygones be bygones. I am your ruler now, and you will be loyal to ME!
~ Enderman to the Proxies after becoming a dragon.


Spoiler alert: I was bluffing when I said I was going to the Under Realm. With these powers, I don't want to rule that worthless, hick town. I want the universe! And with your friends helping me, I'm going to get it!
~ Enderman after he and the Proxies corner Jeff.


Oh, wishes do come true. SEE THAT, MA?! YOU WATCHIN' THIS, DAD?! WHO'S YOUR FAVORITE NOW?!
~ Enderman after mind-controlling the Proxies (except for Jeff).


I can't think of a way to kill you, Jeff. In all honesty, I never thought I'd get this far... Hmmm... How about... having your own best friends kill you? HAHAHA! I think that would be hilarious.
~ Enderman about to force the hypnotized Proxies to kill Jeff.


When a man acquires a certain age
And the girls who adored you no longer swoon
It pays to avoid the sunlit days
And live by the light of the kindly moon
But the moon grows old just like us all
And his beautiful years are done
So now he prays through endless days
To take his revenge on the sun
~ Enderman speak-singing the opening of "Snuff out the Light".


🎵When I was a boy at my daddy's side
Papa, the royal mortician
Revealed to me in secret signs
The trophy of the wizard
And daddy was no dummy
Did outrageous things with a mummy!
And often the stiffs that he would shrive
Would look better dead than they did alive
I studied well; I learnt the trade.
I thought my looks would never fade
If I could find that black trophy
To give eternal youth to me
It was always my ambition
To use Papa's tuition
And gain some small remission
From the vagaries of time
Every little ray of sunshine robs me of my youth
Who to blame? Who the one? Who to curse?
You know the only one to blame would be my enemy, the sun
Snuff out the light
Claim your right
To a world of darkness
Snuff out the light
Neophytes
Of a world of darkness
Malitch, baby, turn me on
Every wrinkle soon be gone
I could squeeze myself with glee
The promises you made to me
I've really stopped at nothing
Murder, treachery and lying
Whatever it takes to keep my looks
You really can't blame a guy for trying
Snuff out the light
Claim your right
To a world of darkness
Snuff out the light
Neophytes
Of a world of darkness
Snuff out the light
Claim your right
To a world of darkness
Snuff out the light here tonight🎵
(with his minions)
🎵Apparitions of eternal darkness
Spiraling in circles through the night
Creatures of beguiling blackness
No more squinting in the light
Bats and owls and coiled sea dragons
Crocodile and carrion beasts
Swirling in the growing darkness
Join us in the coming feast
Spectre, wraith and apparition
Spirit, demon, phantom, shade
Salamander serpents, dog-faced devils
Dance and watch the dying sunlight fade!🎵
~ Snuff Out the Light.


Oh, please, if I'm as evil as you say I am... then let God strike me down where I stand. (Enderman gets hit by a lightning bolt but is unaffected) HA! Nice try, retard! Next time give it your A-game!
~ Enderman demonstrates his amazing power.


Enderman: Cheated?! Hold on there, Long Neck. Oh, grow up. What, you think this is a fucking game of kickball on the playground? You never had a chance to defeat me, dumbshit! And you know why?
Jeff: Because you cheated?
Enderman: No, not because I cheated! Because I'm an evil genius. And you're just a kid. A stupid kid! (he and the enslaved Proxies laugh)
~ Enderman mocking Jeff.


Oh, please. What do you think you're going to do to stop me? I have magic, and you have NOTHING!
~ Enderman to Jeff.


Gee, the gang really is all back together again! How touching. Now step aside! Jeff has tried to interfere with my plans, one to many times already! He needs to DIE!!!!
~ Enderman to the Proxies after they break from his control.


Enderman: That's retarded! You're retarded! STOP BEING RETARDED!
Jeff: Or...maybe I'm being rhetorical.
Enderman: NO!!! NO YOU'RE FUCKING NOT! You just use words you hear randomly to try and sound smarter!
Jeff: Huh. Well, now you're just acting transcendent.
~ Enderman loses his temper at Jeff.


Come on, I was just kidding. Come on, you guys knew that, didn't you? With the magic and the fires...Wasn't that hilarious, everybody?
~ Enderman trying to calm the Proxies down.


As I told you earlier, you should have defeated me when Eyeless Jack was alive. Have fun dying.
~ Enderman destroying the Mystical Realm in a last-ditch effort to kill the Proxies.


Stay the fuck back! Be thankful that I let you in my MOTHERFUCKING KITCHEN!!
~ Enderman to the Rake.


First you take your noodles, and- AH, GODDAMN, YOU MOTHERFUCKER! Hot piece of FUCKING SHIT!!
~ Enderman burns himself making noodles.


HOLY MOTHERFUCKING SHIT!!
~ Enderman's response to winning the lottery.


B.O.B?! WHAT THE FUCK!!!
~ Enderman yelling at B.O.B.


Proxies, perhaps it will provide you solace that your deaths are not without purpose. They will serve as a warning to all of those tempted with getting in my way. Don't fuck with Enderman Inc.!
~ Enderman preparing to kill the Proxies and their allies.


Sometimes I'm so evil I scare even myself!
~ Enderman praising himself.


Nick the Endoskeleton: You! You think this is funny?
Enderman: In a cosmic sorta way, yes.
Nick the Endoskeleton: Well, Mr. Funny Man, is this how you get your sick kicks?
Enderman: What? It's just an ordinary cheeseburg- OH MY FUCKING GOD!!! TOBY!!
~ Enderman talking to a customer.


GOOD GRIEF, HE'S NAKED!!
~ Enderman seeing that the alternate Slenderman is completely naked.


Goodbye everyone, I'll remember you all in therapy.
~ Enderman exiting the alternate timeline.


Enderman: (on the phone) I need to speak to Gideon Mitchel, right fucking now, please!
Female Assistant: He's not in right now, sir.
Enderman: FINALLY! Let me ask you something, you bitch, why did the Villain League send me a damn eviction notice?! I didn't do shit! And now you want to steal my evil inventions! Who the fuck do you think you are?! You gave me three fucking days to relinquish my inventions, do you know how fucking long it took to make these damn things?!
Female Assistant: Sir, your evil plans never work, you have to leave.
Enderman: You want me to leave?! Fucking make me! And you can't call the police because you're the Villain League. I know, I know what you're gonna say. "We have ways." I know you have ways, you fucking retarded motherfucking whore. YOU VAGINA SPIDER INFECTED BITCH! You know what you can do? You can suck my dick! Evict that, you two-bit fucking slut! If you try to take my inventions, I'll burn down all your fucking houses down and drown your goddamn pets!! YOU'RE GONNA WORK FOR ME, BITCH!!
~ Enderman being kicked out of the Villain League.


B.O.B? B.O.B? Can someone put a fucking bell on him or something? (Enderman sees B.O.B dangling from a chandelier on the ceiling) Oh, there he is. Oh, my fucking God. Quick, someone get the stick. (a man holds a large pole next to B.O.B) Just grab the stick, B.O.B. Just grab onto the hook. Hang in there, B.O.B. If anything should happen to you, I don't know what I would do. (pauses) ...I'd probably move on, get another minion, but there would be a 10 minute period there where I would just be inconsolable.
~ Enderman to B.O.B after he gets stuck on the ceiling during a party.


(looking over to B.O.B) His fan club. How they love him. Look at him... lying there asleep. The idol of millions! He's a fool! Blind, silly fucking fool. How easily I could end the farce with these hands, these dirty, fucking hands! And with these hands I hold the fate of millions. They think he's a god, but he's as mortal as we. I know. (stares at B.O.B's neck) Just one quick... snap, and it's over. Just one.
~ Enderman contemplating murdering B.O.B in his sleep for having more fans than him.


Enderman: (B.O.B is listening to music alone in a supply closet. Enderman opens the door and sticks his head in.) Hey, buddy. Are you—are you busy?
B.O.B: No. Not really.
Enderman: You know, B.O.B, it occurs to me that though I've never had a son, there is someone I can always count on to be there. Someone I've begun to think of as family.
B.O.B: (perks up) Yes?
Enderman: And that someone is the Rake. See you around, fucktard! (slams the door in B.O.B's face)
B.O.B: (slowly smiles) Apology accepted, dad.
~ B.O.B and Enderman.


Sally: Enderman, that's not the right thing to do! How would you feel if you killed a baby?
Enderman: Well, I've killed seven but that's not the point, Sally...
~ Enderman to Sally.


You fucking retards left the goddamn door open! My fucking food! My fucking inventions! WE'VE BEEN FUCKING ROBBED!!
~ Enderman after his house was broken into.


Enderman: You stupid, fucking idiots! You left the fucking door open, you idiots! (knocks a bowl of chicken out of the Rake's hand)
The Rake: MY FOOD!
Enderman: Fuck your food! My goddamn shit's been stolen!
~ Enderman to the Rake.


You stupid son of a bitch. You STUPID... STUPID, STUPID, STUPID SON OF A BITCH!!
~ Enderman to the Rake.


The Rake: You spilled the Chinese food all over the damn floor!
Enderman: FUCK THE CHINESE! I was gonna watch TV eating Chinese but look where we're at! FUCK THE CHINESE NOW!!
~ Enderman to the Rake.


YOU NEED TO SHUT UP! I WAS ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBBED!!!!!!
~ Enderman's famous quote, directed at B.O.B.


WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! YOU DON'T FUCKING SLAM THE GODDAMN DOOR IN MY MOTHERFUCKING HOUSE! THIS IS MY FUCKING HOUSE! IF ANYBODY'S GONNA SLAM THE DOOR, THAT MOTHERFUCKER IS GONNA BE ME! (slams door)
~ Enderman to the Rake.


What's that? Sorry, I was so caught up in how much money I'm going to make I forgot to care about your feelings!
~ Enderman mocking Jeff.


Enderman: I just think, like, they hate me. (shrugs) Probably because I want to kill them.
Doctor Applecheek: You don't really want to kill them. Sometimes we just say things that we think we want to do, but we really don't.
Enderman: No, I wasn't joking, I really am trying to kill them, I've tried poisoning them, death traps, giant robots, a magic trophy, but so far unsuccessfully. They're quite wily, like Slenderman.
~ Enderman to Doctor Applecheek.


From the dog-eared pages of that volume of Shakespeare, I imagine you wooed Michael with a sonnet or monologue each day. And no one had ever done anything so romantic as reciting Shakespeare for Michael before. And he was smitten. While not as physically attracted to you as you are to him, that's okay You each bring something important to the relationship. Isn't that what you believe, Dr. Applecheek? I see a prescription for heart medication on that table. My guess is you keep that at the office. You don't want to worry Michael, you say to yourself, even though the truth is it embarrasses you. Your age, your mortality. Best to keep appearing as vital as possible. And no need to have reminders at home of what's just around the corner, is there? And your office is your haven since Michael doesn't work and is often at home, perhaps as a result of a low-level depression that you don't really want to get into with him. Oh, he always planned to have a career, but he could never settle on exactly what it was he wanted to do. And at first, you liked having him at home to take care of the house and plan trips. So that's just what happened. "And that's a job, too," he reminds you over the years. Michael likes to travel, and he prefers the finer things. And you'd like to give them to him, wouldn't you? But it's a bit difficult on a child psychologist's salary at a Rhode Island preschool, I'd imagine. Fortunately, you don't have children, so you do have some disposable income. Oh, you have talked about it with other couples, just for show, probably at dinner with younger friends of Michael's who are starting a family, you know, to be part of the conversation, to feel included. But you said you preferred your trips and your rescue dog named after a character most likely from Dickens. Ah, how accomplished and affluent you both look in this photo. Just the image Michael is so desperate to project. Let's look a little closer, shall we? Now, I see you're both wearing Ralph Lauren Purple Label dress shirts that retail starting at $495. But from the disfigured button holes on one and the small discoloration on the other, I can see you bought them at the outlet in Providence. Probably third markdown, in which case, $49, give or take. Since you also have light jackets on, I can see that you went there during summer vacation, which is, in fact, winter in Rio, outside of the high tourist season. And I see that you're on the rooftop pool deck at the Fasano Hotel in Ipanema, the most exclusive hotel in all of Brazil. Michael would've been dying to stay there. Had a friend that went with his older boyfriend, who makes a lot of money in, most likely, banking, much to your chagrin. But even in August, it's almost $1,000 a night. You tell him people are starving in the streets in Brazil. How do you justify paying those prices? When the truth is, you simply can't afford it. It's for another class of gay people. The window that Michael is always desperately peering through and sadly on the other side of. But you do your best. You don't go on Airbnb, because you don't trust it, even though Michael has stories of friends who have found the most fabulous places. You like a hotel. Besides, it's more romantic, you tell him. But when you take him to the place you're actually staying, the one you found on Trip Advisor that was rated number 27 of all the hotels in Rio and was having a special rate of 295 U. S. dollars a night Which is still not cheap, you remind him, most people never get to visit half the places he's seen, you tell him you can't help but feel like a bit of a failure as you see the look of disappointment on his face as he enters the room. So you decide to go to the Fasano Hotel for dinner and drinks. No, just drinks, once you've seen the restaurant prices online. And once there, you can see how Michael begins looking at all the older men who can afford to take their boyfriends I'm sorry, husbands To such luxurious hotels. And you worry a little, that you're diminishing in his eyes with each passing year. But you tell yourself you're being ridiculous, as you see Michael glancing about the rooftop deck, looking at all the young men, men that would be 20 years younger than even Michael, men that you're invisible to. But he isn't yet, not completely, and you're jealous and you loathe yourself for it. But Michael wants a photo, and he says, "Let's take a selfie. " But you say, "Let's ask someone to take one of us" and make some tired joke about selfies that only you laugh at, wishing that you could take it out of the air as soon as you've said it, as it's just one more indicator that you're older than everybody here. So Michael calls over a young man wearing a tiny swimsuit to take the photo and makes a crude joke that embarrasses you. But the young man laughs, and he and Michael share a moment that you're not part of. And you feel humiliated and unseen. Which explains Michael's joyful grin and your slightly disconnected half-smile. And you've posted the photo on Facebook, and Michael's posted it to his 86 followers on Instagram You don't know how that one works To at least give the impression, in your Ralph Lauren shirts, holding your $20 cocktails, that you're both way more successful than you are. But it makes you feel a little dirty, the lengths you have to go to in order to keep Michael happy. And every time you glance at this picture, you wonder, "How long before he leaves me?" See? I guess we both know each other a bit.
~ Enderman's speech about Dr. Applcheek's sex life.


All the other kids loved Christmas, but my favorite holiday of the year was always "Mr. Firecracker Day".
~ Enderman telling Dr. Applecheek about how he used to kill dogs with firecrackers in his youth.


Then I created B.O.B. What a fucking idiot. Why, I remember the first time I strapped him to the electric chair and pulled the lever. He hardly even felt it. So I hit him with a bat. He only laughed. So I hit him harder...and harder...BUT HE WOULDN'T GO DOWN!
~ Enderman to Dr. Applecheek.


FUCK THE POLICE! FUCK THE POLICE!
~ A drunk Enderman during a riot.


NOOOOO- What-the-fuck-ever.
~ Enderman casually accepts defeat.


FUCK YOU! I BET YOU ATE IT, YOU GODDAMN, TWO-BIT, GODDAMN PIZZA EATING BITCH!!!
~ Enderman arguing with the Rake on who ate the last slice of pizza.


Zalgo came through...
~ Enderman seeing that Zalgo succeeded in ruling the multiverse.


Enderman: That's Sheriff Enderman to you, ugly! Under the authority of Lord Zalgo, the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse place you two under arrest!
Jeff: Hold up, if you guys are the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.. Why are there three of you?
The Rake: Because... It- it- it sounds... Cooler?
~ Enderman, B.O.B, and The Rake attempting to arrest Ms. P and Jeff.


Wooooo-we! Look what the apocalypse dragged in! You guys are in a twelve-piece bucket of deep-fried trouble now! B.O.B! Spitoon! (spits inside of it)
~ Enderman to Jeff and Ms. P.


Enderman: My old pal Zalgo figured you might try to rescue Sally. So he appointed me, master of these wastelands, horsemen of his apocalypse, and keeper of the bubble! I get to kick back and enjoy as Zalgo massacres the multiverse! And your sweet, precious Sally is trapped inside and I HAVE THE ONLY KEY! Wrapped around my neck!
Jeff: Enderman, you have no right to keep her in there! So let her out before I smack the bitch outta you!
Enderman: Well about that, Jeff, Zalgo explained it to me nice and simple: she was always destined to be ours! And now that we have her in a cage, she will be slowly brainwashed and maybe, just maybe, tortured until she learns to love and respect Zalgo! We have an eternity to wait! B.O.B, Rake? Ready to escort our friends to Zalgo's torture chambers?
~ Enderman explaining his motivations to join Zalgo.


Wooowee. I dare say you fuckers almost had the jump on me there for a second. But this ain't your multiverse anymore! Out here, I win. Zalgo's parademons will be here any minute to retrieve you. SALLY IS OURS NOW! Hahahaha!
~ Enderman to Ms. P and Jeff.


Enderman: (he and his men magically appear on the other side of a cliff) You thought it would be that easy?!
Jeff: Wait, WHAT?! How the fuck did you guys here so fast?
Enderman: We... Uh, how did we get here, Rake?
The Rake: Well, you got me. (pulls out a map of the cliff) By all accounts, it doesn't make sense.
~ Enderman, Jeff, and the Rake.


Jeff: Okay, I admit it. Maybe I wasn't as nice as I should have been. But, Enderman, do you really want to kill us?
Enderman: Just think of it as you're being let go, that your life's going in a different direction, that your body's part of a permanent outplacement.
B.O.B: Hey! Dats kinda like what he said to you when you got fired!
Enderman: I know, B.O.B. It's called a "cruel irony", like my dependence on you.
~ Enderman, B.O.B, and Jeff.


Don't come any closer! I'll pull the trigger and turn his brain into soup!
~ Enderman holding Ticci Toby at gunpoint.


Enderman: Ok, wait, hold on a second. Even if I was to believe that you all didn't wanna kill me, and even if I was willing to fight Zalgo's entire army — which I'm NOT...what do I get out of this? Psychological damage? Uh, a horrible gruesome death? 25 years to life with a cellmate named BUFFALO-FUCKIN'-BILL?!
Jeff: I don't know...Not being tortured and enslaved for all eternity would be pretty cool.
Enderman: ...FINE!
~ Enderman reluctantly joins the fight against Zalgo.


Enderman: What the fuck are you guys on about?
BEN: We think you're trying to trick us. That you're... still on Zalgo's side.
Enderman: You guys seriously come to me for help and pull this shit?
Jeff: Maybe we're having seconds thoughts. All we know is that whenever you're around you try to kill us.
Enderman: No, it's not that this time! I... I actually want to help you guys for once because-
Ticci Toby: You're trying to kill us?
Enderman: What? No! It's nothing like that! I'm try-
Ash Graven: You'll stop at nothing to destroy us?
Enderman: (the Proxies and their allies begin backing him into a corner) NO! I-
President Bush: Want to gain our trust so you can stab us in the back at the last moment?
Nick: Test your robot on us?
Ash Graven: Dissect our organs?
Jeff: Turn us into robotic slaves?
Enderman: NO! I want to help you guys!
BEN: Oh, really? Sounds like something a MINION OF ZALGO WOULD SAY! (the Proxies begin disparaging and yelling at Enderman at once)
Enderman: ...EVERYBODY SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! (the room goes silent) You all want the fucking truth? I want to help you kill Zalgo. That's it! The one time I actually want to help you fucks and you pull this shit! You think I liked working for Zalgo? FUCK ZALGO! Fuck him and fuck his two cocksucking lap dogs, and fuck anyone retarded enough to work for him! The demonic powers, riches, it's all BULLSHIT! You wanna know why I worked for him? Look at you guys, you got the whole world. I don't have shit! You guys made it! You're a success. You can't be touched! Look at me, I'm a fucking failure! A failure who can't get one thing done! A loser who was so afraid to fail again that he made a deal with the devil! I just thought that... Maybe if I worked with him and accomplished something for once, maybe my life would mean something. (Enderman looks at the floor before sitting down at a nearby table) I act like I know everything. But deep down... I'm terrified.
~ Enderman reveals why he worked with Zalgo.


Enderman: Alright, this is without a doubt my most amazing invention yet. I won't fail.
BEN: (sarcastically) Yeah, cuz' all your other ones turned out so well, didn't they?
Enderman: Shut the fuck up, Zelda.
~ Enderman to BEN.


X: Miserable worm! Even with all your technical advances, you stand no match against the power of pure evil!
Enderman: If you hadn't already noticed, I'm not so nice myself.
~ Enderman to X during their battle.


Masky: Can anyone hear me? Is everyone okay?!
Enderman: OF COURSE NOT, YOU FUCKING IDIOT! WE'RE DOOMED!
~ Enderman after he, the Proxies, and their allies are trapped under rubble by Zalgo's attack.


YOUR SAVIOR IS HERE!!
~ Enderman as he and the rest of the freedom fighters arrive to help the Proxies fight Infinite Zalgo and his forces.


Jeff: (to the Proxies and other friends) I don't know how to thank you all. Defeating Zalgo was not easy and we did it. I hope you all take something away from this. You're my friends for life, I hope you know that. (turns to Enderman) Even you, Blockhead. We would have been fucked if not for that robot. I would give you a high-five, but you don't have any fingers. So I think a crisp hug will suffice.
Enderman: No.
Jeff [gets closer to Enderman] Yes. Here we go. Bring it in. [hugs Enderman] Come on. Pelvis to pelvis. Let's go tip to tip. There we go, the kids call this docking. [a ray gun sound goes off] Did you just shoot me in my dick?
Enderman: I shot you in your dick, yeah.
~ Jeff and Enderman.


Enderman: For your information, there's a lot more to Endermen than people think.
Ticci Toby: Example?
Enderman: Example... uh... Endermen are like onions!
Ticci Toby:T hey stink?
Enderman: Yes... No!
Ticci Toby: Oh, they make you cry?
Enderman: No!
Ticci Toby: Oh, you leave 'em out in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin' little white hairs...
Enderman: (peels an onion) NO! Layers. Onions have layers. Endermen have layers, onions have layers... You get it? We both have motherfuckin' layers.
Ticci Toby: Oh, you both have LAYERS. Oh. You know, not everybody like onions. CAKE! Everybody loves cake! Cakes have layers!
Enderman: I don't care what everyone likes! Endermen are not like cakes.
Ticci Toby: You know what ELSE everybody likes? Parfaits! Have you ever met a person, you say, "Let's get some parfait," they say, "Hell no, I don't like no parfait."? Parfaits are delicious!
Enderman: NO! You dense, irritating, retarded beast of burden! Endermen are like fucking onions! Fuck cake and fuck you! End of story! Bye-bye! See ya later. (walks away, whispering) Godddamn, fucking cuckoo's nest!
~ Enderman arguing with Ticci Toby.


Enderman: While we were on that ship, I had an epiphany. I'm gonna stop terrorizing you Proxies from now on to focus on my own goals. I've already sold my inventions and become rich, no more evil-doing. From now on, I'm gonna try to Enderman, Mayor of the Under Realm. (the scene cuts to Enderman wearing Bigmouth's hat in front of a mirror) I look good in this, don't you think?
Boy: More like good at looking bad, loser. (laughs; Enderman looks over at B.O.B and the Rake on the teeter-totter. He snaps his fingers and the two go after the boy. Offscreen, they brutally beat him up (and possibly kill him) and the boy screams. Enderman giggles.)
~ Enderman's "redemption".

Trivia

  • This version of Enderman is significantly different from his Minecraft counterpart. In Minecraft, Enderman is portrayed as having superpowers as well as being a supernatural entity. In this version, Enderman is a stereotypical mad scientist that has basically no superpowers.
  • "Dark Harvest" and "Down in Mexicali" are the only episodes in the entire series where Enderman manages to successfully defeat the Proxies.
  • Enderman is the most commonly recurring antagonist in the series.
  • One of Enderman's signature colors is purple because it is a color that represents madness. True to life, purple is considered a less-likable color in some cultures. An example of this would be that purple is seen as the color of death in Japan.
  • Enderman is left-handed.
  • Enderman has a doctorate in computer science.
  • Despite claiming to be Slenderman's arch-enemy, not only does Slenderman have no respect for him whatsoever, but most of the time seems only marginally aware of his existence. He and Slenderman have only interacted with each other five times in the course of the entire series (with all of them ending with Enderman quivering in fear at Slenderman's feet), and Slenderman considers him a minor inconvenience if anything.
  • When stating the ages of Pastamonsters characters, Comickit simply said that Enderman was an "old man".
  • Enderman is college-educated, despite claiming in one episode that he never made it past the third grade.
  • He has a degree in chemical engineering.
  • Enderman is considered to be the most anti-social person in the Under Realm: he has little to no friends due to most of the other people ridiculing and bullying him most of the time, as well as the fact that he seems to actively despise all life because they seem to interfere with his life all the time.
  • He gets at least 4 hours of sleep.
  • It is revealed in the episode "New Digs" that Jeff plays poker with Enderman every Tuesday night.
  • According to "The Chain Mail" Enderman has made 1,003 failed attempts to overthrow Slenderman.
  • In earlier episodes, Enderman was depicted as a truly evil sociopath. Most of his schemes simply involved killing people and committing terrorist level attacks on the Under Realm, like unleashing a toxic gas on the Under Realm and going to a bowling alley and replacing normal bowling balls with grenades simply to enjoy the chaos. In newer episodes, he's much more comical and benign, with a characterization that drifts back and forth between "a stereotypical Evil Genius and a bit of an irresponsible curmudgeon" and "irritable jerkass who gets mad at the Proxies for getting on his lawn".
    • Enderman is a lot more evil and depraved in both his "The Rise of Enderman" and "The Chain Mail" appearances, while he is usually portrayed as a rather typical arrogant villain (who still has some threatening moments), in "The Rise of Enderman", he planned to enslave all of the Under Realm, tried to bulldoze all of the Under Realm and rebuild it into a city in his name, and tried to kidnaps BEN and Sally and kill Jeff. In "The Chain Mail" he enslaved a race of innocent creatures, turned into a monstrous dragon and planned to extinguish the sun, which would obviously kill countless people. He also states that he is going to torch the Under Realm to the ground and take over Earth and the entire universe. Finally, he hypnotizes some of the Proxies and tries to force them to kill Jeff and Smile Dog.
  • His voice is done by auto-tune.
  • Enderman represents the Deadly Sin of Envy.
  • According to BEN, Enderman smells like sweat, onions, and failure.
  • Enderman's worst fears are sharks, mice, bats, and water.
  • Enderman's favorite holiday is the Fourth of July, he used to enjoy blowing the faces off of dogs, burning small ants with firecrackers, and suffocating a family of possums with smoke bombs.
  • Enderman is an arms dealer.
  • It is implied multiple times that Enderman is bisexual. Aton outright states Enderman is one, and at one point Enderman hits on Ms. P and Masky. However, Enderman has a surrogate wife in the form of Karen, who he's been with for fifteen years. It's also mentioned that he contacted an escort service to have both men and women sent to his mansion.
  • Despite playing cards frequently and even opening his own casino at one point, Enderman is notorious for always losing card games and resorting to cheating to win.
  • Enderman secretly finds Ms. Pencil Neck attractive.
  • It is revealed in "The Chain Mail" that Enderman was apparently quite a looker, presumably until his age caught up to him.
  • Enderman has multiple drones hidden around Proxy Mansion, often using them to spy on the Proxies.
  • According to the Unwanted House Guest's notes, Enderman's name in an ancient Arcosian language translates to "shit".
  • In a live stream, Comickit said they believe that Enderman is hard of hearing, which would explain why he screams so much.
  • Enderman has been sent to prison multiple times, but he breaks out on a regular basis.
  • Jeff continually calls Enderman a racist for killing Black Eyeless Jack. It becomes something of a running gag, much the Enderman's eternal frustration. Because of Jeff's unintelligence, it's unknown if Jeff just says it to make Enderman angry or if he genuinely believes Enderman is racist.
  • Enderman's in-series Twitter description reads "Before you ask, I follow no one. Humility is for the humble."
  • Enderman has severe germophobia.
  • Comickit has said that Enderman's favorite food is "anything with dark chocolate in it".
  • Enderman went to science camp with the Unwanted House Guest prior to the events of the series and from there he developed something of a rivalry with him.
  • In the episode "Smoke-In", it is revealed that Enderman supports legalizing marijuana, saying something that grows in the ground and is natural should be legal.
  • Despite living in a rundown mansion, Enderman is shown to be quite wealthy, seeing as he is shown to have a plentiful array of weapons, advanced technology (such as flying saucers and laser pistols), and attack helicopters. His wealth likely comes from his side business as an arms dealer.
  • Children screaming helps lift Enderman's spirits.
  • Enderman has known Ms. P since she was a child.
  • He claims to have seen the Hopkinsville Goblin when he was younger.
  • Despite Enderman being widely hated within the universe of the comic, he is also quite respected by some, such as including Sally Williams of all people. She often tries to reform him, which usually goes awry due to their polar opposite personalities. Enderman is also respected and is shown to be friends with Nick the Endoskeleton, B.O.B, Mayor Bigmouth and Bendy the Dancing Demon. He is also quite beloved by the fanbase.
  • In some episodes, Enderman's eyes turn red when mad.
  • In "To Proxy Mountain", it is revealed Enderman has some connections to NASA.
  • Enderman has $50,000,000 worth of uranium buried under his old mansion.
  • According to Comickit, if Enderman had a human form, he would be an elderly black man with purple eyes in a black suit and black gloves.
  • Enderman, the Showman, and Officer Gutierrez are the only Pastamonsters antagonists who have musical numbers ("Snuff out the Light", Master of Your Fate", and "Surviving the Caves" respectively).
  • Enderman might have OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder). This is suggested by one of the lines in "The Rise of Enderman": "How did I miss that?! Me, the obsessive-compulsive Enderman!!".
  • According to multiple polls, Enderman is the most liked antagonist in Pastamonsters.
  • In some concept art, Enderman is depicted as being almost comically large, being so tall that the Rake and Jeff barely reach his knees.

Navigation

           Pastamonsters Villains

Factions
The Proxies
Minions of Zalgo
The Bleeders
Ku Klux Klan

Slenderman and the Proxies
Slenderman | Mr. X | Jeff the Killer | BEN Drowned | Ms. Pencil Neck | Eyeless Jack | Natalie Clockwork | Ticci Toby
Enderman's gang
Enderman | B.O.B | The Rake
The Pit
The Great Lord | Zalgo | Shadowlurker | X | Flagg | Stukka | Septim
Aton's Forces
Aton
The Bleeders
Laughing Jack | Angel Knives | David | The Mole
Others
Ash Graven | The Unwanted House Guest | Grinny Cat | The Stiltwalker | The Strider | Scorpion | Dr. Applecheek | Grinny Cat | The Showman | Officer Gutierrez | Mancala | Fear | The Hag | Evil Jeff | Colonel Blackheart | President Bush | Malitch | Mayor Bigmouth | Laughing Jack Jr. | Frowning Jack


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