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| “ | Christian: None of this was in the Bible. God: Dude i was so baked when i wrote that, like, Genesis 3? More like Genesis after three bong rips. |
„ |
| ~ A conversation with God. |
| “ | If less than ten million people die of cancer this year then Terry's never gonna discover the recipe for that chipotle lobster dipping sauce! | „ |
| ~ God explaining his motives. |
God is a recurring protagonist in the YouTube skits by Zach Star Himself. He is a parody of the Judeo-Christian God and the frenemy of The Devil.
Unlike most depictions of God, he is supposed to be less serious and have the personality of a “bro”, being very human-like and having traits that make him flawed. For the sake of comedy, he is often portrayed as irresponsible and villainous towards his own creations.
Personality[]
This version of God is a fun partying bro who shares the same interests and desires as humans, even liking things such as Chick-Fil-A and Spotify. He never talks in a serious tone, uses slang, can be argumentative, enjoys trolling and making fun of others and overall is indistinguishable from a normal, flawed person. As a parody, he has several traits that contradict the Biblical God, good examples of this being how he dislikes people praying to him on Sundays and is sometimes lustful.
He is fond of his creations, and is willing to allow them into heaven if they’re cool enough (even if they’re atheists). However, he is very on & off on this, as he also sends them to hell for small reasons and, more maliciously, is willing to sacrifice countless lives just to benefit small groups of people, or for self-serving reasons. He is also a troll who likes to mess with his creations, good examples being how he invented purity culture just because he thinks it’s funny to see boys be rejected, and created cheetahs just to make Noah’s job harder. He is often prone to anger and hardly ever changes his mind, even if the other person makes good points.
This version of God is able to get along with the Devil, and their rivalry is nothing more than a few arguments and being competitive regarding games. Despite God’s lust and maliciousness, he still has his standards. For example, God absolutely refuses to allow Hitler in heaven due to Hitler’s atrocities, expresses anger at Mormons finding a loophole to premarital sex (‘soaking’), and freeing the slaves of Egypt
Biography[]
Genesis[]
While the Bible exists in the Zach Star universe, it is said to be mostly inaccurate, as God was baked when he wrote it and would often include incorrect stuff just for the lols. God mentions that he created Las Vegas on the first day, partied with his friends for five days there, and then created the rest of the world on the sixth day. However, this was later retconned in “Then God said…”, where it’s revealed that God worked really hard on everything for six days, then published everything (including light) on the sixth day and rested. He also not just created Adam and Eve, but also Steve and Phil, which according to Satan, no one in history talks about them.
During resting, and the Serpent (the Devil) tried to tempt Eve into eating from the Tree of Knowledge. Before Eve could eat, however, Phil rushed in and told Eve not to eat it as ‘[they] would have to work’. Eve asserts to stay away from the tree, but it’s already too late, as the camera cuts to Adam eating from the tree and a hug thunderclap from the sky. Meanwhile with Adam, God calls Adam out and punishes him by giving Eve periods so he can’t have sex with her every night. As such, Adam goes into a cave to make a cave drawing, or an ‘ode to his chode’, as the narrator calls it.
Some time later, God decides to flood the earth due to Adam eating his apple and the fall of man. Before he can kill Noah alongside everyone else, an angel warns him about Noah. God, liking Noah above everyone else, tries to ponder how to flood the earth while not killing Noah. In a later video, God tells Noah to get two of every animal as he’s going to flood the earth. After much exhaustion from gathering all the animals, God creates cheetahs last minute, much to Noah’s ire. After the offscreen flood, an interview of Noah’s associates plays, God included. God tells the interviewer how while Noah didn’t deserve to go to heaven, God still let him in there as Noah didn’t technically break any adultery laws. In other videos, the Tower of Babel is mentioned, implying God had split humanity into language groups.
In ‘When your dad almost sacrifices yourself because of God’, Abraham and Isaac argue over the former’s decision to nearly kill the latter. Abraham reassures his son about how God has blessed them both with ‘as many descendants as the stars in the sky’. Isaac brings up there could’ve been so many other things, such as 72 virgins (which is not Christian, but rather Islamic, tradition). In the next video, God commands father and son to circumcise themselves through a speaker to fulfil another covenant, mentioning the fifth commandment (‘Honor thy father’) to Isaac. Note: this implies the video ‘When God grades the Ten Commandments’ happened before the Covenant, long before Exodus.
New Testament[]
According to God, he knew Mary from their childhoods but the two never spoke. When Mary grew up, God tried to hit on her at a party but Mary told God they could just be friends. God then told her that he has sex with all his friends, and nine months later, Jesus is born. Upon recalling this, God also considered the ‘Virgin’ Mary as a joke. After Jesus’s birth, three wise men also came to visit, but got lost and considered turning back on the way.
After Jesus’s crucifixion and resurrection, God called his son and told him it was the best prank they ever did and how people would be talking about it for so long.
Present Day[]
Most of the time, God spends his time judging souls based on if they are cool enough for Heaven, and throws them into Hell if they’re not. Despite them being rivals and the Devil’s evil plans in ‘the Devil in [year]’ series, God often spends time with The Devil and discusses his plans for humanity with him. Sometimes, he engages and interacts with humans and their earthly activities, such as No Nut November.
Judgement Day[]
TBA
Villainous Actions[]
- In his debut video “When you die but find out God is total bro”, he sends a Christian to Hell for not liking hard drugs.
- in “When you’re an atheist but die and find out God is real”, God mentions that he created Ted Bundy because he was having a bad day.
- in “When God grades The Ten Commandments”:
- He complains about the “Thou shalt not kill” commandment because he wanted to kill people who try to steal his xbox.
- He disagrees with “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife”, having done that himself.
- He steals an angel’s wallet and only gives it back after finding out the theft breaks the “Thou shalt not steal” commandment.
- in “When your religious friend ends up in hell with you”, he sends a devout Christian to Hell because an Atheist paid God 20 dollars to do so.
- in “Then God said…”, after Adam stole an apple from the tree, God punished him by making it so Eve would have periods four days per month, even though she didn’t help steal the apple.
- in “When God asks you to build an ark”, God floods the entire Earth killing most humans and animals. While the biblical God did that because humans were wicked, Zach Star!God caused the flood because:
- He was still mad at Adam for stealing his apple.
- He was annoyed at Spotify for not working.
- He thought people sucked.
- He wanted to win a bet against an angel.
- He was curious to see what a global flood would look like.
- in “When you get prank called by the Devil”, he and The Devil possessed an innocent human on Earth as a prank, which later results in the human being killed by his friends.
- in “When God has a plan”, God creates several horrible situations to achieve small things:
- He wanted Lisa and Jared to be together as a couple, but instead of making them be married in the first place, he had Jared be married to Margaret for several decades and then later had Margaret be brutally killed in a bus accident, so that Jared could then marry Lisa. When the Devil asked why, God replied saying he didn’t want to kill Margaret’s children before they were even conceived.
- He had a woman called Caroline be tortured in the worst way possible for a year, and then killed, so that 20 years later, two officers investigating her case would meet once and never again.
- He and the Devil agreed that the best way to make sure Riley would end up with Tony instead of Jim, was to create a genocide in Bahamas and have Jim be killed during it.
- He made 10 million people die of cancer so that Terry could discover the recipe for the chipotle lobster dipping sauce.
- He caused a 10.0 magnitude earthquake in Moldova to make sure that Jenny finds out the one who wrote her a letter was Daniel, rather than Brad who falsely took credit for it.
- He made an airplane be struck by lightning during a tornado while a tsunami hit the coast of Angola so that the automatic laundry folder could be invented.
- He started a second holocaust in Antigua and Barbuda, lasting the entire month of Ramadan, because that was the only way to ensure that the movie Sharknado 7 would be made.
Quotes[]
| “ | See, you can't believe everything you read in the Bible, because even at the bottom of some pages i would just write like loljk and but no one notices. | „ |
| ~ God. |
| “ | God: And what caused the Big Bang? "We don't know" that's convenient. Bro the closest thing this universe has had to a Big Bang was i fucked that plus-sized model. Atheist: Well, that's going to get some angry comments |
„ |
| ~ A conversation with God |
| “ | God: Well if there isn't a second holocaust in Antigua and Barbuda for the entire month of Ramadan, then there'll never be a Sharknado 7! The Devil: And you checked- God: i checked every conceivable universe, by hand, even the ones with no life, and they all... end at six... except one. |
„ |
| ~ God in "When God has a plan" |
Trivia[]
- Despite being the all-powerful creator of the heavens and the earth, he is not omnipotent, having several flaws:
- He doesn't know who created him.
- He can't just summon food out of thin air, and has to get them like a normal person.
- He is very unstable when attempting NNN, and thought he was gonna die during it.
- As the Devil pointed out, it took him a week to create everything.
- The text on God’s mug is a parody of Philippians 4:13: ‘I can do all things through God who strengthens me’, replacing ‘God’ with coffee.