| “ | Ah, fiddle sticks! Hang on, don't leave — I'm still robbing you, you know! | „ |
| ~ Gwagg drops his weapons during an attempted mugging |
Gwagg Bloodriver was a blood elf rogue who became a highwayman and served alongside his brother Blurph until they mysteriously disappeared. The only one who was even mildly interested in their fate was their cousin, Kalathas. He thought of himself as a lady's man, although in practice he was incredibly incompetent and unsuccessful. This led to him focusing his feelings into animals, especially his pet, a young panda cub. It is not currently known what happened to it with his disappearance.
Personality[]
Although not necessarily incompetent, Gwagg had a much more carefree nature about him. Even through his and his band of thieves' starvation, he would immediately perk up and try to impress any attractive female Blood Elf he ran across - even in the middle of trying to mug them. He was surprised to find that this method never once worked out for him, and while it cut him deeply, he hid it behind his laid back personality.
Gwagg considered himself somewhat of a lady's man. ...He wasn't.
He was also clumsy, bumping into things or dropping objects, including his dual daggers that he wielded in an attempt to emulate his older brother. This earned him the nickname "Fiddlestick" amongst his band, due to his common usage of the term "fiddle sticks!" when something went amiss, effectively making it his catchphrase.
He tried to focus his caring into local animal life, but found that most animals wanted nothing to do with him, either. In fact, even his steed would flee from him any chance it got. The one exception to this rule was a panda cub he rescued in the wild. The two became inseparable until his last few moments of freedom.
Background history[]
When Arthas Menethil lost his soul to the cursed blade Frostmourne and invaded the High Elf kingdom of Quel'thalas, Gwagg's parents Slushi and Slorp were both killed in the ensuing chaos. The brothers were devastated, having never developed a sense of how to survive on their own. The two may have survived by hiding but it was not long before they found themselves starving to death mere months after the Sunwell was desecrated. The two became highwaymen with their cousin Kalathas, and they realized how much they thoroughly enjoyed this new life. For a few years, they formed a band of thieves desperate for food, magic, or coin. This group included the three Bloodrivers, but also had another would-be thief named Raelneth Dawnstar, the desperate huntress Quelarya Truenock, the corrupted mage Dookyhatt Sludgemirror, the addicted former socialite Puupria Skankwater, and the maniacal maniac Xothaelus Knifemiser.
Gwagg chasing after his escaped steed.
Along with the others and then eventually on their own, Gwagg followed his older brother Blurph's example, would often aggressively steal from both blood elf and wretched alike. Their preferred station to start the majority of their heists was situated along the northern edge of the Ruins of Silvermoon (close to where Kelerun Bloodmourn generally spends his time), or moving between Feth's Way and Skulking Row. Gwagg was a bit of a fool in ways and his steed never got used to him at all, leading to it trying to flee at any chance it got. Sometimes this would cause a failure in their thievery attempts and Blurph was made ever the more frustrated by this. Even so, Blurph loved his brother, and the two were inseparable up until their disappearances.
Ultimately, he and the rest of his band came to witness Xothaelus' slip into madness, and protested his growing bloodlust. When it culimated in Xothaelus' murdering of several victims one-by-one, they would turn a blind eye, but when he murdered a pair of children for some small coin they threw him out of the gang. Incised, Xothaelus swore revenge upon them but departed ways. The group would never see him again. However, the emptiness of their murderous former ally would be filled some seven months later by their unexpected meeting with a small lich. The Bloodriver brothers were each suspicious of the creature at first but felt overwhelmingly complacent for some reason as it told them its tale: While it stated its name was of little importance (leading to it being referred to by the group as "The Microlich"), it revealed that it had once been a Gnome necromancer who got caught up in Arthas' Scourge invasion several years prior. It escaped the Lich King's grasp when he was weakened and transformed into a Forsaken. It then roamed the lands seeking purpose, and informed the gang that it wished to join them in their exploits, offering better strategies and ultimately, greater prosperity. The gang agreed and allowed the Microlich to join them.
The next several months were the best the group had ever seen as the Microlich helped them in more ways than they could have imagined - not only strategically, but also through odd magical spells that it wielded. Whenever magic hunger seized any in the group, the Microlich allowed them to feed off of his own magical energies some, although it could only sate their needs for a short time. A year passed, and suddenly things began to occur. First, Puupria disappeared under mysterious circumstances, followed closely by Dookyhatt. Sensing trouble, Raelneth quit the gang and moved on with his life. This left the gang in a pathetic state, and Gwagg's clumsiness cost the group even more of their profits. To keep the four elves from starving to death, Quelarya went hunting in the forests but didn't return for weeks. It was at this point that Gwagg's brother disappeared. Gwagg was incredibly distraught, and sulked for days before being awoken one night by the Microlich. It surprised him by stating that he had found evidence of Blurph's disappearance that may lead to his discovery, but advised Gwagg not to wake the others, placing the seed of suspicion into his mind that one of his fellows may have had a hand in Blurph's disappearance.
Gwagg banished by a mysterious "microlich".
Gwagg followed the Microlich into Skulking Row and showed him actual evidence of his brother; in a sudden clarity of mind, Gwagg realized that the Microlich itself was involved. Turning around to confront his adversary, he was struck with magic, greatly weakening him and frightening off his steed. Realizing he needed help, he requested his panda cub to seek out the others and summon them to his side. As the panda left the area it was encapsulated by the lich's magic, permanently preventing Gwagg's escape. In truth, the Microlich had been sicked upon the gang by none other than Xothaelus, who had learned a few magical tricks of his own and joined a prestigious assassin's guild. Blurph would never find his way out of the magical barrier, and eventually was transformed into one of the Wretched down in Skulking Row due to his lack of consumption of mana during his prolonged banishment. A silver lining to this is he was eventually reunited with his brother.
Relationships[]
Gwagg was born to Slushi and Slorp Bloodriver (his mother and father, respectively) before the fall of Quel'thalas. He was raised alongside his brother, Blurph, and his cousin, Kalathas.
Although he thought he had made friends with a mysterious entity known as The Microlich, it quickly betrayed him and led to his downfall and subsequent mutation into a Wretched.
Notes[]
- While no one ever located either Blurph or Gwagg nor turned up any evidence as to their fates, they were in fact banished by a mysterious little lich, who also was known to have banished another pair of siblings, Myucka and Sphammi Crusthorn. In all likelihood, both brothers eventually degenerated into wretched themselves.
- Gwagg was character Somarinoa only created to send Lil' K.T. to a character who didn't have the item available to her for some reason. Due to his personal policy on creativity, any and all characters and the like, no matter how minor, must have some form of story set to them.
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