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This article's content is marked as Mature Needlemouse found something very brutal for those with a weak heart. The page Kaufmo (The Amazing Digital Shenanigans) contains mature content that may include coarse language, sexual references, and/or graphic images which may be disturbing to some. Mature pages are recommended for those who are 18 years of age and older. If you're 18 years or older or are comfortable with graphic material, you are free to view this page. Otherwise, you should close this page and view another page. |
| “ | Caine: I like this face when Gangle's like "you like Krabby patties don't you Squidward?" You know that? Kaufmo: That's a good meme right there fellas, that's a beautiful MEME! Caine: Also Kaufmo, come over to the square here? If you want to dance, you have to stand here. Kaufmo: Or even better, I can get bigger and crush ALL of you. *wheezes* Caine: C'mon! C'mon Kaufmo it's not that bad. Kaufmo c'mon. Kaufmo: With my hand, I'm gonna get bigger, and crush you with my giant goofy fingers, and then there's cracking bones, delicious meat. DELICIOUS! MOTHER-AHYUCKING!! MEAT!!!! Random lady to Kaufmo: What are you doing!? Get on the square! Random guy: Okay? Caine: C'mon, c'mon over to the square over here. Kaufmo: ...I wanted to kill some people but okay. Jax will get me man. |
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| ~ Kaufmo's comical villainous breakdown to Caine and Pomni after being driven insane in "Wild Highlights of July 18th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Pomni: You sound like a chain smoker! Kaufmo: I, KNOW BUT I'M COING AFTER YOU NOW. Pomni: (laughs) Kaufmo: YOU ARE MINE AND IN WILL GET YOU. Pomni: No leave me alone! Kaufmo: I HAVE TO DESTROY EVERYTHING. |
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| ~ Kaufmo in his abstracted form to Pomni in "Wild Highlights of July 18th's Shenanigans of 2025" |
| “ | Kaufmo: Wha!? You stole my spot Jax?! Do I have to choke you again!? Jax: You don't need to do anything. |
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| ~ Kaufmo threaning to strangle Jax for "stealing his spot" in "Highlights of July 25th's Shenanigans of 2025", which is his go-to option with disciplining and taming Jax in most of the Digital Shenanigan episodes as a running gag. |
| “ | STOP THE TERRORISTS! They're ALWAYS up! On! That! Ceiling! GET DOWN!!!! Get your ass off the ceiling and shooting people! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo calling out shooters during a blooper scene in "Best Moments of July 3rd's Shenanigans of 2025". |
Joseph, otherwise known as Kaufmo, is the main protagonist in the absurdist comedy VRChat series The Oddball Digital Shenanigans and the upcoming VRChat series The Amazing Digital Shenanigans from RobotnikZentric.
Being a altered version of the actual Kaufmo who abstracted and remains an enigmatic character with hints and details about him off-screen, this version of Kaufmo was able to control his own abstraction, gained lots of knowledge about abstractionology as a result, and wasn't sent to the cellar due to his own strong mindset being a quality of sanity that helped him stay mostly stable, thus making him a alternative iteration of a unabstracted Kaufmo.
This take on Kaufmo is much less tragic and is now portrayed as more of an absurdly light-hearted villain protagonist rather than a straight villain; who, despite getting into ridiculous situations almost non-stop, tries to entertain himself i(and even others) and also cope in the form of chaos, banter, one-liners and generally plotting to make anything funny happen by any given opportunity possible to mess around, all while he is surviving in a chaotic circus realm, typically with a chipper attitude and a penchant for humor (even when he is driven more and more insane as episodes progress and always deals with psychologically stupid situations he just can't stand on the inside).
He is voiced and portrayed by Joseph DiAngelo Sanford, who was constantly in-character in all of the episodes since episode 1.
Bio[]
He is often seen hanging out with the crew of the circus such as Pomni, Caine, Jax, Bubble, Kinger, Gangle, and Zooble, and sometimes seeing Gummigoo, The Fudge and a few other people such as Evil Pomni, Caine's brother Daine, Orbsman, The Fudge, Disappearing Guy and many more.
He seems to love going to his "Goofy Pits" for any given reason, which serves as his personal abstracted hole room he goes often, and happens to know a few abstracted people like Daisy, Thomas Jefferson, Jennifer and Bob, one time thanking Bob for them giving him knowledge of abstractionology even during the nonsense Bob was implied to be annoying Kaufmo about that Kaufmo proudly said as a memory of Kaufmo's he holds true.
A few habits he is usually seen doing in almost all his appearances in the episodes amount to his tendency to strangle Jax numerous times out of revenge and provocation, taking massive "Goofy Dumps" (even using a poop rug as a hobby of his), initally obsessing about Ragatha to the point of hopeless infatuation and being in love before realizing that Ragatha wasn't that interested in him, breaking his bones such as his shins and neck, getting the most scoliosis from his mishaps, having squeaky goofy balls on his chest and sometimes doing a pelvic thrusting air humping dance which he calls his "Goofy Dance".
His butt being on display (let alone pictures of him bending over that Ragatha had took and shows everyone for laughs in a way that Kaufmo finds embarrassing), strangling Jax out of annoyance, getting scoliosis/breaking his bones, the countless dumps he takes, how "dead" his legs tend to be as he jokingly says, his many attempts to commit self-die always having short-term effects and it never works since he cannot die, his love for using lines of cocaine to get high as a way to cope, and weirding everyone out with his random jokes and lines, are some of the few recurring running gags surrounding him in the series that are designed to shock or provoke reactions since Kaufmo is often pushing some boundaries to entertain or disrupt.
| “ | Gawrsh! I might as well sip my tea, while I wait. Gawrsh I love being in my beautiful space fortress, Caine will never know about my- oh hey I got new plans to seek. Well, time to go, cause some shenanigans and then one day I will RULE the universe! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo before he gets a invitation to join his friends in "Highlights of July 25th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
In the digital realm, even though he always appears in adventures and in the circus with other members, he manages to have enough wealth to reside in his own secret spaceship fortress without anyone knowing (revealing to have RPGs in his garage), and while he loves causing some shenanigans; he seeks to rule the digital universe when the day arises.
Personality[]
| “ | Lady: It's gonna smell awful when you guys have to actually take a poop. Good luck with that, you're stuck in there with him. Pomni: Jokes on you b(boing!)h I don't poop, I don't poop. As usual I don't poop! Kaufmo: Well that's true. Jackson: *points to Kaufmo* Unlike this man over here- Lady: *looks at Kaufmo* That man looks like he takes alligator s(boing)ts. *Pomni and Jackson laugh* Kaufmo: Well. They're destructive! Pomni: *chuckles* "They're destructive"? Kaufmo: You might as well call them my secret weapon because that's what Kaufmo does! In his nuclear, noxious, goofy dumps!! Pomni: ...Oh my god it has a TV in here! Jackson: *points at Kaufmo* This guy is the most random person I have ever met. *Kaufmo and Pomni chuckle* |
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| ~ Kaufmo in a situation where he's caged with Pomni in "Royally Insane Highlights of August 3rd's Shenanigans of 2025". |
He is an exceptionally quirky and eccentric individual, one who appears to be a usually observant, heedful, charismatic, jocular, extremely cunning and scheming yet very adventurous, sassy, cheerful, puckish, flippant, zany, sarcastic, witty, funny, unhinged, shameless, socially awkward, exuberant, hammy, self-aware, deranged, violent-loving, knowledgeable, excitable, nonchalant, usually poised, challenge-loving, megalomaniacal, boastful, bombastic, paranoid, rebellious, somewhat unruly, overconfident clown with a chipper attitude, friendly demeanor and a penchant for humor who (mostly) speaks with Goofy's voice, appears to embrace in being an incredibly silly person without any shame of being a literal clown, and has a love for making things light-hearted for the fun of it, often making tons of chuckling and laughing at anything remotely amusing.
He is a self-proclaimed jokester whose personality is solely humorous and outright chaotic neutral, especially since he is a wild card whose random behaviors he displays are often played comically, and he often likes to banter, quip, and deflect a lot of things (even embarrassing or sensitive topics) with humor. He typically has a crude, off-the-wall, wildly facetious, juvenile, referential, unpredictable, cheeky, tongue-in-cheek, off-filter, outrageous, almost morbid, anarchic sense of humor, and shows to have tons of audacity with the many ridiculous exaggerated jokes that he likes making on a daily basis (even when relenting on holding back on some of the inappropriate jokes he likes to make). He likes making anyone laugh, such as the time he yelled about terrorists during a blooper scene, and he especially enjoys and revels in making light out of any situation, even at his own expense just to entertain others all around him (e.g accept having his lips compared to a sausage hot dog and say it's not an insult but rather a fact instead), especially if he has a mental lapse and jokes about it by calling it a "brainfart" that was smelly (which made Gangle laugh), and calling a rabbit who looks similar to him a "banana sock rabbit" when Jax had a friend who called it "Cletus" and a lady said that this yellow red-lipped rabbit was Kaufmo's cousin. This shows how Kaufmo is a larger-than-life figure who makes bold claims and doesn't take himself too seriously.
He is also quite mischievous and playful; as he loves messing around in each episode such as glitching under the map alongside Kinger, had found amusement in questioning the Fudge frequently even when Fudge gets upset, enjoyed riling up Ragatha for taking pictures of Kaufmo's rump and even playing with a situation where a rabbit person tried to get her friend Tye to talk crap to Kaufmo and Kaufmo takes advantage by making prank call type of responses to make a humorous response for the botched attempt with getting her friend to trash-talk Kaufmo, took pleasure in playing tricks on Eric Cartman's friend and causing them to go back in the maze for a prank of his, took pleasure in trolling Kinger in the middle of a scene involving Jax and Kaufmo trolled Kinger about a door Kinger claimed he locked that wasn't (and told Kinger to not say it's locked if it's not), and had fun pretending to be Spiderman with the title "Spider Kaufmo" and make a nonsensical song about an anti-heroic version of Spiderman being amazing, fighting criminals and also burning houses.
Since he likes to engage in anything with silly and fun in the name, usually he tries to intentionally rile some people up by saying crass and absurd things purely for anyone's entertainment let alone his own (and doesn't seem to mind shocking anyone with his wild sense of humor and constantly random behaviors). He also likes to encourage anyone into causing chaos (even more so than the actual Jax), which is why praises and congratulates Pomni whenever she does something bad like bullying the NPC Ming, farting in class, destroying Caine's sandcastle or crapping on Caine's stage.
He appears to have a few very weird, strange and unpredictable habits he admits having, such as eating bricks for breakfast, eating "danger" for lunch and eating cheesecake for dinner on a daily basis, being proud of having a dry index finger on his left hand, having an odd affinity for taking craps on any toilet he finds just because, has a couple of mood swings, likes making jokes about how "dead" his legs are in any context, saying "Gawrsh" and "Motherahyucker"/"Ahyuckers" almost all the time, once had used to obsess over Ragatha before realizing she wasn't as romantically interested in him as he had assumed, and he once crapped his pants when he was caught off guard by Pomni addressing him as monkey (which Kaufmo doesn't even know why he keeps doing that himself). He happens to enjoy taking cocaine and enjoys getting high, even if he made this a coping mechanism of his and is silently bummed if he can't get high as a way to cope, and he even proudly said it was a "good philosophy" when a friend of his told him to slap someone and make the coffee fly around (where Purple told Kaufmo's friend that is wrong).
He is also somewhat sadomasochistic since he loves inflicting torment on some people such as Jax, Purple and The Fudge, and yet he also appears to be so self-deprecating that he enjoys having scoliosis, once wanted to have his balls fried by a robot instead of being chased and zapped, enjoyed being choked by his bogeyman pet cat Tom and finds it refreshing (much to the cat's befuddlement), he also enjoyed getting ran over by cars numerous times by saying "Oh.~ That feels GOOD!"; which he did just to get even more scoliosis than Jax, and he seems to enjoy breaking his spine and shins countless times; thus, relishing in his own physical pain half the time.
He is very opportunistic, sneaky, tactical, sly, underhanded, intelligent, mostly diplomatic, sometimes unscrupulous & cautious, sophisticated and street-smart (and he has shown to have some bravado and triumphant pride in his keen intellect and cunning to the point of calling himself mighty and powerful for his own intelligence and relishing in his ploys succeeding when it does so out of cleverness and timing). He is also so devious that he somehow managed to obtain secret knowledge of Jax's internet search history, Caine's history with Moon, and everything about Zooble as he revealed in a Truth or Dare challenge (with just his phone), which shocked all of them for Kaufmo even finding out these secrets on his own (Caine even wanted Kaufmo to remain abstracted for knowing too much). He also shows himself to be an escape artist and tried to outrun as well as outsmart Bubble a few times, successfully evaded from Jax wanting to bite Kaufmo's fingers, his ploy to pretend to reset worked to his avail to evade from Bubble (resulting in his ally Kinger coming to save him), and he'd pull off any stunt to cause chaos or even gaining control, such as the time he saw Gummigoo going Super Saiyan and exploited this moment by farting so intensely he blew up the world, which was something he intended to cause chaos, and it's possible he even blew up the world twice. He was also willing to sneak into Ragatha's room to destroy Kaufmo butt pictures she kept. He is also capable of keeping a low profile when his enemy is distracted by someone else, especially when Kaufmo sneaked out of a room when a robot chasing him was distracted by a disguised Kinger trash-talking the robot and Kaufmo evades by leaving the room to avoid putting himself at risk. He is far from stupid or dumb since he didn't fall for Jax's trick with trying to look down a patio with the intent to fall over the edge, he is well-informed of Krypton as a reference to where Superman lives and knowing that Bill Cosby is a pred, and Kaufmo calls him out on it and instead commanded him to make a sandwich. His cynical statement he writes "Life is full of bullshit", shows how he also acknowledges how much life can be full of nonsense but sees the point in not taking life too seriously within his understanding of absurdism, and he acknowledges how "kind of weird" the internet really is, thus showing how Kaufmo is more than just some stereotypical manchild.
Adding on this factor, whenever nobody's around; he loves to strategize and come up with plans to inflict onto others such as Caine for example in Looney Highlights of August 9th's Shenanigans of 2025, this is shown when he was in The Void and was then planning to hint he is concocting a ploy or opportunity to cause Caine taking a painful dump as a form of revenge for making Kaufmo have a painful time dumping, and his maniacal laughter just hints that his secret plan is meant to be devious and torturous to gain an advantage that only Kaufmo would take the opportunity to utilize once the moment happens (which is why he relished in Pomni inconveniencing Caine and used this as a opportunity to tease and annoy Caine out of amusement).
He has a love for women, which is why he admits enjoying seeing "anime titties", why he allows Ragatha and Pomni (ladies his age) look at his butt and even allowed Ragatha to take pictures of his butt despite the fact Kaufmo only wanted to destroy the butt pictures the two ladies took of him was because that they were showing them publicly in front of everyone numerous times as a joke, much to Kaufmo's displeasure and embarrassment. All things considered, he had something of a crush for Ragatha when he used to unsubtly exclaim his love for her in multiple ways that shocked everyone on a few occasions (all before Kaufmo was cool with other ladies as options to see if Ragatha wants him back, like thinking about the idea of dating the Sun that Caine shared as an idea, and seemed to be cool with dating Pomni after she confessed her feelings for him).
When he abstracts on command as he did in the episode Wild Highlights of July 18th's Shenanigans of 2025, he forms into a tall glitching creature who speaks with a much gruffer, raspier and more a robotic, gravelly voice that Pomni sees as him "sounding like a chain smoker" by just listening to him talk. In this mode, he likes to chase Pomni, and when Ragatha asks why did he smoke for 20 years; abstracted Kaufmo no longer remembers why he was smoking but also recalls the fact he beat Ragatha like a ragdoll and took frustration on her for his own failed jokes. He also vowed revenge on Jax for stealing bowling balls from him.
He has shown to be genuinely affable, civil and mannerly to plenty of people more often than not in and outside of his behaviors. He gets along well with Gangle and Zooble, he is especially on good terms with his best friend Kinger & his friend-turned girlfriend Pomni, and he seems to have a love-hate friendship with Jax, Purple and even Caine himself in one way or another. He even praised and commends Ragatha and addressed her as his "national hero" for breaking his bones, while he was an bit awkward about it; the fact he is very chivalrous to the Sun that he somehow managed to charm her so many times that he made her smile and blush and later thank him for his kind words, he behaves respectfully to Soldier asking him about a magic trick by saluting to him instead of being rude or provoking him, he validates and acknowledges Dr. Mario for trying to save the universe when Mario said he was so distracted before arriving to a party, he was genuinely thankful of Kinger giving Kaufmo a new body that helps him avoid having his butt being exposed for people to look or take pictures of, he was very friendly and polite to Shadow the Hedgehog (even acknowledging him as a wise person and even apologizing immediately for interrupting him with a comment about how Kaufmo is not cool at all while he can be a nice person), when he was laughing manically at his secret scheme he has that unintentionally scared Pomni and Ragatha and made them think it was Caine that was near them for a second; he relents by saying he didn't know they were there, he even civilly asks Gummigoo for validation in "Wild Westing Highlights of August 10th's Shenanigans of 2025" where he asked if it's fair to feel like he wants to choke people like Caine who made Kaufmo and not just choking random people (and was genuinely thankful for Gummigoo validating how he feels after falling off a ride he couldn't get back to), and he was also cool with giving Gangle some dating advice, which .angle is thankful of Kaufmo for sharing This shows despite being quite the tease who questioned and then trolled Fudge about what he likes eating and how can he sniff anything, acted a little condescending over how ignorant and cowardly Nate is, being somewhat cocky about himself sometimes, for as much as Kaufmo loves to harass Jax sometimes, as much as he acts crazy and pretending to have the role of a sassy bully in the classroom for one adventure, Kaufmo's affability isn't feigned or fake.
While often ridiculous and overall, a goofball whose antics are usually way too wacky and silly to take seriously (e.g getting big to crush people with his "giant goofy fingers" onto those as revenge for being messed with), Kaufmo can intentionally or unintentionally be dangerous, aggressive or even dominant at times. He can occasionally concoct a deadly plan, will even act on some opportunities to cause chaos, or even prepare to physically attack anyone, such as when he successfully killed Pomni without intending to and when he was able to crush a person's skull and spine, and he only strangles Jax when provoked (Kaufmo usually doesn't prefer violence when dealing with most situations and prefers mischief). His potential for destruction and fondness for chaos is also quite valid as he once got giant and caused collateral damage to a castle and wrecking the castle with his bare hands at least twice with glee. Fortunately, he hardly maintains control for very long.
Despite all of his antics and chaos, he has shown to have a few standards and lines of human decency numerous times, as he loudly showed his disapproval for terrorists, he was confused why Pomni wanted Kaufmo himself to kill Zooble (thus showing that Kaufmo isn't petty enough to kill unprovoked people), he would be the first to make fun of TADC content farm imagery like a suggestive picture of Pomni and Caine in bed with Pomni smoking, he hates the Gangnam Style dance for how dated it feels to do it as a dare, he did not approve of the idea of Jax shooting a child and was thinking of the child's safety during a chaotic scene Kaufmo witnessed at McDonalds, he is completely against child gropers (and claims he would beat up a child molester without hesitation if he ever saw one), he hoped there wasn't anything too "devious" with Jax being around a child who came from South Park, he immediately disapproves deviants who put out depraved shipping wars such as shipping Kinger with Jax (which Kaufmo agreed with Kinger's idea to get even with a female furry and Bubble of an image they teased Kinger about it being canon which Kaufmo saw as "DeviantArt Bullshit"), he would be the first to be concerned of seeing a version of Caine licking Gangle or a version of Kinger sniffing Pomni's jester hat inappropriately, he was disgusted that "fans" of Caine wanted more pictures of Kaufmo's butt (and was even more bewildered that Ragatha even suggests that "everyone" wants to look at his butt ever since the first time Kaufmo bended over), he seemed to be a little bit sympathetic towards Jax getting beat with a belt by Kinger for being gay, he is informed of child predators such as Bill Cosby, he behaved rather honorably to everyone equally (e.g Purple) even when he needs a moment to vent and relieve himself out of desperation, and Kaufmo witnessed Shadow saying if he lost at chess he'd feel like ending it and Kaufmo empathized with him.
He draws a line at perverted behavior, appears to be completely against partaking in debauchery and does not seem (at all) willing to engage in openly lewd behavior, as he calls out on people who show sexual desire to him such as Bubble and even his crush Ragatha, which absolutely baffles him. He did not accept the dare for sniffing Dibby's feet and describing the smell and instead reasoned with Dibby by saying Kaufmo doesn't have a nose as a valid reason to choose a different dare. He declined Bubble's request to bend over and immediately ran away from Bubble and ends over to his "goofy pits" since he did not like being stalked to be licked inappropriately no matter how many times Kaufmo tries to escape and evade from such a kinky activity, heck he always tries to paint his body in a self-deprecating and distasteful light such as him "tasting like sandpaper", "tasting like the worst piece of paper ever", or even paint his own rump in a nasty light by calling it as "worse than a deflated butt" or even agree with Caine that it's smelly, silent and deadly to demotivate anyone from getting dirty thoughts no matter how hard it was to do, and he was even tempted to make a restraining order on Bubble.
He was rather protective and supportive of Pomni during a titanic adventure in Wild Westing Highlights of August 10th's Shenanigans of 2025, where she needed comfort in a situation where she thought everyone was going to die in a ship, and Kaufmo doesn't hold back with holding her close with a hug (even apologizing when a random glitch interrupted him from comforting Pomni with a hug), all of which he doesn't seem to do for pragmatic reasons whatsoever. He even commends Pomni for having fun with causing chaos in a driving adventure.
Even at his most serious and honest with what happened in JigSaw Highlights of July 26th Shenanigans, his conversation with Purple reveals the rare moment for Kaufmo to be surprisingly respectful, introspective, self-reflective, polite and emotionally mature with plenty of self-control and self-awareness in a way that it is downright impressive of him. He will avoid projecting his insecurities onto others by admitting it would be childish and immature of himself to yell at Purple over his own personal problems (even if she did indeed seem to deserve it), and Kaufmo avoids blaming people for his own problems and instead blames himself for his own issues as his way to take accountability for his own decision and does this to avoid getting mad over Purple toying with his emotions, all delivered in a sincere and wise manner despite Kaufmo generally being something of a unhinged individual with issues of his own, when Purple asked why doesn't he yell at her angrily for toying with him; Kaufmo admits that's a unproductive choice to maintain himself and work with himself.
He cares about his giant pet centipede Carl and told Ragatha to not kill it, and Kaufmo clearly misses him if it ever goes away and is always happy to see him at any moment. He also happens to show tons of care and affection for his comfort animal doll "Jerry the Leopard" that Kaufmo calls his "spirit animal" he vents to and was protective of it (and took his love for the spirit animal doll quite seriously when Purple tormented him with it), and he also had a giant multi-armed bogeyman pet cat named Tom that he allowed to attack and chase after Purple. He shows genuine affection to both of them, and shows himself to be not so malicious to animals around him.
He was genuinely remorseful for even unintentionally killing Pomni with beers, and was downright panicking of the idea of being thrown into jail over his mistake he didn't intend to inflict on Pomni. Even when a lady said Pomni's ghost was going to haunt after Kaufmo, he tries to commit self-die as a result (even when he couldn't be able to die naturally). This says something where Kaufmo is usually cheerful of the good and bad things he typically does.
He appears shows to worship Jesus Christ wholeheartedly (even kissing a wall to prove this while walking on a line, and cheering on the idea of Black Jesus).
He also happens to be sometimes helpful or cooperative despite his random antics being frequent, where "Highlights of July 25th's Shenanigans of 2025" had him saving Kinger from choking on a burger with a punch to the chest Kaufmo did to help, he worked well with Kinger playing a trick on Jax to continue their maze glitching, and "Royally Insane Highlights of August 3rd's Shenanigans of 2025" had him finding a way to liberate him and Pomni from a jail cell they were trapped in (even taking Pomni's idea into consideration with causing mass destruction to a castle he and Pomni couldn't escape from and used brute strength as a last resort). He also tried to warn everyone of a trapped door that Jax was leading Pomni, Kinger, Caine and Zooble into, and sighed when his attempt to prevent them getting trapped with Jax didn't work (this possibly being a reason as to why he framed a "breaking and entering" act on Jax). He was also accommodating to Pomni not wanting anyone to know she pooped on the floor in "Irregular Highlights of August 7th's Shenanigans of 2025", and reassured her that he wouldn't tell anyone and made up a convincing lie that he and her were cleaning up some mud. When Gangle asked for dating advice since she was nervous, Kaufmo shares a casual and cautious yet sincere, earnest, down-to-earth, mature and insightful form of advice with metaphors to get to know people without rushing into things, thus showing reflection and wisdom for somebody like Kaufmo of all people.
For all of his high intelligence, cunning, self-control, diplomacy and serenity, a few flaws to take note of is that he tends to have moments of being at times impulsive, a little reckless, not always being a good listener at times, and can be too bold and vocal with the unfiltered jokes and lines he makes. In fact, his biggest weakness overall is his own overconfidence regarding what bold things he says, that sometimes makes him open to harm, as he had lost permanent privileges this way like riding on a mannequin being hampered for even bringing up "anime titties", this is what caused him to lose his ability to swear since he likes to swear a lot (he doesn't seem to be happy when Caine magically made Kaufmo censor any swear word he says as a punishment Kaufmo received), he underestimated Bubble's ability to fly to further stalk Kaufmo, which caused him to panic and jump off a cliff last minute (and he acknowledged the fact he was taunting too much that he could evade from Bubble), him being not so silent about questioning the gender of a robot when he and Gummigoo were hiding made the both of them a target, being loud while he was high got Caine and a random potion brewer make him silent and not talk so much, and when Kaufmo told Shadow how Pomni had a crush on Gummigoo and even gummybear people (which got Pomni into shushing Kaufmo immediately). His recklessness can also be a weakness at times, such as Wild Westing Highlights of August 10th's Shenanigans of 2025; when he was messing around rather than properly sitting on a boat on time, him not sitting in time as necessary caused his own mishap like being springed out of the boat and sent himself flying and plummeting into the ocean and left to drown until he resetted (which is practically a form of karma he received for crashing a ship and causing people to panic).
He reveals to be a bit of a coward sometimes when people like the perverted Bubble, a hungry Jax, a violent Pomni or a murderous security robot Caine made, all chase him on specific occasions, and Kaufmo is the first to retreat and even hide in any location. He was more than willing to commit suicide as a way out of a repetitive situation (even if that never works in a universe where nobody can die), and even wanted to make a hideout to give all to himself just to hide away from getting into anything kinky with Bubble. He'd even want to end it by jumping off a cliff if he's in an embarrassing situation like people mooing or even wanting to shoot himself and suggested to have a gun with him rather than wanting to listen to Jax meow in his ear in a truth or dare challenge.
In Royally Insane Highlights of August 3rd's Shenanigans, he has revealed to have PTSD flashbacks regarding being in prison once (and did not want to go back). Ever since the episode Highlights of July 19th's Shenanigans of 2025, he also happens to have paranoia regarding driving tests since his experience in the real world made him quite paranoid about being perfect and flawless with passing it (probably going crazy upon studying for the whole process); which is why he gets drunk by sipping the Stupidity Sauce that Pomni had in her hand, he happens to remember being at an empty playground when he was 1 years old, and he has Vietnam War flashbacks regarding his memories with driving well.
He shows to take no real offense about fat jokes aimed at himself when it's Pomni doing it, and can handle jokes on his appearance and appears to take them in stride (he even acted sarcastic towards a shooter about him being a "target", and even told Pomni "nice try honey").
Even though he doesn't take anything personally that much, in Highlights of July 19th's Shenanigans of 2025; he reveals to be (jokingly) jealous of others if his friends such as his frenemy Jax, can chop and break bricks better than him with right hands, and yet Kaufmo happens to break bricks well with his left hand and elbow. He also showed impatience with breaking bricks with his head that when trying it once didn't work, he slammed it a few times (Ragatha even commends him on this and pointed out how Kaufmo gave himself brain damage in the moment for just this moment only). Kaufmo also doesn't seem to like predictable fat jokes, which is why he called out a shooter on it by acting super sarcastic about it in his first appearance.
While he tries to seem untouchable and unstoppable, he can be sometimes an object of ridicule despite his actions and manners he desperately clings onto, a few examples include JigSaw Highlights of July 26th Shenanigans; when Purple toyed with him and tormented him by taking away Kaufmo's psychological comfort animal doll he was spilling his feelings onto, and have other people such as Pomni and a few of her friends mess with him for some time and get him to react with desperate frustration (which Kaufmo tries to be as nice and patient as possible when doing so unless he felt like he had to resort to drastic measures when he feels pushed to his limit), causing Kaufmo to chase for Jerry in desperation and wanting him back. He is also considerably a scapegoat sometimes throughout the series since he doesn't want his butt pictures to be public or even asked to have his butt taken a pic of, and even when he sees people who show an inappropriate desire for it; this makes Kaufmo want to commit "self-die" every time he sees it, and he's sometimes poked fun at for being bald by Jax for the amusement factor.
He expressed how devastated he was upon finding out that Ragatha got devoured by unknown abstraction people, and he hides how much he was hurt by that fact through his calm cheery clownish persona by saying he doesn't know what to expect at this point with what happens in this circus as a way to downplay his own emotions in Highlights of July 25th's Shenanigans of 2025. Heck, in Irregular Highlights of August 7th's Shenanigans of 2025, he finally broke down crying and even sobbed at the fact Ragatha wasn't around (even admitting that he cries silently); right before he forces himself quickly to shift back to his casual jovial persona once he suddenly saw Shadow Ragatha near him (and was focused on her more so than the butt picture of himself).
In JigSaw Highlights of July 26th Shenanigans, we get to find out several insecurities about Kaufmo's insane behavior. It is directly implied he felt like a monster deep down just because of the curse he believed he was inflicted on during his sleep a night prior (how and why did he got cursed remains unknown and believes there are paralysis demons that are telling him to do things he shouldn't do); this got him wanting to redeem himself as a person and repress those inner voices that are trying to demoralize and corrupt him after it's directly implied he had a nightmare that haunted him to the point of slight paranoia.
He can at times be self-reflective, philosophical, thoughtful and introspective even within his own inconsistent thought process, wit and quirkiness, since he revealed how his brain has been asking him questions about life decisions for him to make and his own purpose in life referring to his identity as well as what psychological significance does it bring (even before bringing up his thumb in the midst of his existential contemplation and self-discovery).
He also tried tried seeking comfort and emotional support from his animal doll that made him feel less paranoid in general (he even vents to the plush doll about how he recalls how his cat used to look at him when Kaufmo was upset, sad and feels shoddy on a bad day; even sharing that he deeply misses how his own pet cat in the real world would look at him and behave whenever Kaufmo was feeling down and asking for comfort, he is seen asking for validation to this plush doll by asking it if it thinks Kaufmo himself is a stupid person and wonders if he's actually offending people with his jokes), he also says he feels like the world likes to play with his emotions even when he wants to be serious with anybody (this being possibly one of the few hinted reasons he behaves in the unhinged way he is), he also admitted in front of everyone that his therapists weren't the best for him while he was panicking and desperately looking for Jerry (it's no wonder why this one plush doll alone was something Kaufmo saw as his silent source of mental reassurance/comfort and feeling like his inner pain was understood and can talk about how he feels on the inside to this plush doll without "feeling like a idiot" for sharing in the first place even when Kaufmo felt like he was the worst, and he feels so personally attached to Jerry by Kaufmo seeing Jerry as the one person who treated him like a person and not someone to be hated or looked down; this being why Kaufmo hugs the plushy tightly in memory of his cat before Kinger comes to check up on him), and he also feels like he is way too much of a nice guy who gives too much mercy to many people around him in general (and despite his inexcusable actions, he yet continues being a friendly affable cheery person he displays himself as just for the sake of being genuine).
Villainous Acts[]
- Threatening and trying to strangle Jax for even revealing a secret to Caine about the butt pictures Ragatha took even though it was Kinger who said it.
- Attempted to strangle Dibby as a final wish from his true love, Ragatha, to kill Dibby.
- Breaking Caine's rule to not censor his swears.
- In his abstracted form, what he does were:
- He directly implied he assaulted Ragatha like a ragdoll and took his frustration out on her for his own failed jokes.
- Threatening to inflict revenge onto Jax for stealing bowling balls from him.
- Threatening to chase and get Pomni to make her his while also showing a desire to destroy everything.
- Showed a desire to get bigger and crush people with his fingers to hear their bones crack, and even wanted to kill people in and out of the circus.
- It's directly implied he sneaked into Ragatha's room, stole butt pictures of himself and set fire to them.
- He even said he'd willingly do it again when her room gets upgraded.
- Showed excitement with murdering "gooners".
- Wanting to plot a murder towards tracking down Bubble and a disguised Ragatha for trying to ship Jax and Kinger.
- Attempting to gaslight Ragatha and trick her into making her and everyone think she was deliberately taking pictures of his butt again for her secret activity for butt picture taking, and tried to lie that she wanted to snap a shot of his butt to Caine, which Ragatha denied and said she wasn't going to do it until Kaufmo brought it up.
- However, he revealed he was only joking about this to see if she was gonna be real with him.
- Persuaded Bubble into stalking and licking Jax's feet with dump on it once Jax walked on a puddle, which Kaufmo did out of his own twisted amusement.
- Harassing and bedeviling Jax on several occasions over reasons like improving his chopping skills or pretending to be Doofenshmirtz for example. He also shows twisted amusement in goading Jax into failing into chopping bricks and hurting his hand one time.
- In "Highlights of July 19th's Shenanigans of 2025", Jax even thought Kaufmo was faking his scoliosis. However, Kaufmo confirms that he was trying to fix his scoliosis instead with bricks, which suggests Jax was making a false claim.
- Strangling Jax not just out of jealousy, but Kaufmo does this once he had noticed that Jax took his "Goofy Slamma" phrase after chopping bricks better than Kaufmo did.
- Expressed delight in Fudge telling him that he could sometimes hear yells of his victims in his head.
- Showed delight at Fudge's agony at being sprayed with piss and even relished in riling him up.
- Took advantage of a situation involving Gummigoo's constipation with going Super Saiyan and Kaufmo joins in, and he farted so hard it blew up the real world and moon itself as he intended.
- It is also implied that he did it twice and intended to blow up the world in the same way twice as a way to celebrate his victory of winning a fighting tournament against a rabbit person, asserting his dominance on the snail-like spectator Nate and high-fiving Gummigoo.
- Poked Caine in the eyes twice.
- Willingly broke into Ragatha's room two times to find butt pictures to erase so she and Pomni stop putting them publicly (knowing Ragatha was eaten alive by some abstracted people), and the second time he sneaked into her room, he even blew up her entire bedroom with a piano without regret.
- Breaking into Gangle's bedroom to take a smelly dump in Gangle's toilet and intended to put the blame on Jax for his own actions, which was implied that it worked.
- Attempted to strangle Jax for being trapped into a room with an exit that doesn't work, and he also threatened to choke Jax again for calling him bald again.
- Withholding the password that Gangle gave him, Kaufmo used her computer to hack and look into everyone's internet search history and withhold info he could use on them, such as Caine's, Pomni's, Ragatha's and even Jax's out of amusement. He got Kinger as a helpful ally in his pranks.
- He achieved at humbling Caine for his internet search history with looking up sensual pictures of the Moon, and laughing at his embarrassed reaction.
- He tried to embarrass Jax by revealing his search history in front of others, and this eventually enticed Pomni into being so curious as to looking into Jax's search history again and Pomni further embarrasses Jax with his searches relating to Jax's secret crush for Gangle, which got Jax embarrassed and running away (which the situation went just the way that Kaufmo had intended and had hoped).
- Threatened Jax with a strangling punishment for stealing his spot.
- Threatened to grow large and crush anyone with his fingers who messes with his spiritual comfort animal doll Jerry the Leopard.
- Wanted to kill Bubble for biting his comfort animal doll Jerry, and popped him with a finger.
- Casually watches Pomni remain scared of Kaufmo's bogeyman pet cat Tom and focused on high-fiving his pet while leaving Pomni to be horrified.
- Encourages Tom (Kaufmo's demonic bogeyman pet cat with mass murder in the cat's mind) to continue scaring and haunting lives of others through chasing and tormenting people like Purple, and to make matters worse, Kaufmo commends the bogeyman for the amount of harm and a directly implied potential killing spree that he possibly has done on multiple people once he saw Tom chasing after a woman and screeching at her.
- When he reminds Tom about the 10 'ol clock shift regarding a specific schedule shift with saving victims to torment for last after making progress of murdering, this made Tom impatient and said that everyone needed to die and galvanized into starting the killing spree right then and there, and Kaufmo doesn't seem to mind stopping him from him running off and possibly beginning yet another killing spree.
- Willingly jumping into a deep fryer and make up a story he intended to vilify Jax and get him fired from Spudsys.
- When Pomni asked why he's in the fryer, Kaufmo framing an unprovoked Jax as the bad guy who threw him there and also admitting his duplicitous intentions in front of them, Kaufmo's hoax had resulted in Jax immediately getting condemned into getting a cruel punishment before everyone could hear his deceptive intent, and Kaufmo relishes in Jax getting chased by his violent manager ready to beat up and discipline Jax out of satisfaction.
- Threatens to make a moon named Jackson die of cringe and even report it to the kingdom (which made Jackson fear him for a split second), and then tormented him with his fear of corn by saying it was in his ear, resulting in Kaufmo chuckling sadistically at his reactions.
- It's implied that he destroyed and wrecked a castle twice as a way to find joy in a world Kaufmo saw where life was "full of bullshit".
- Willingly crushing people once he was giant, and making their spines break with his fingers, especially with Jackson being his victim to torture and relishing in hearing him suffer. Even claiming he was grateful he could crush Jax's skull and spine when he was literally thrown into a portal by a disguised Kinger that leads to a living room.
- Forcing Jax in his maid form to make him a sandwich as a way to assert dominance.
- Unintentionally killing Pomni for a brief amount of time by throwing beer cans at her he genuinely intended to provide her a drink she likes.
- Interestingly enough, this was the point where he was taken a little seriously by Purple and Jackson, who were the only ones who saw him as a criminal who should be in prison, and not his earlier actions prior to this episode "Royally Insane Highlights of August 3rd's Shenanigans".
- Taking tons of cocaine with a cocaine liner that was made for just Caine; but proudly made use of it anyways and said there was nothing Caine could do about it, and Kaufmo was then loudly interrupting a group when they were all watching a movie based on Nightmare Shenanigans and everyone wanted silence during the event.
- Even when he was being disciplined by Kinger and Caine for being loud and was silenced by force, while he was outside, he wrote a message with the cocaine liner in response to this: "This is ahyucking bullshit! So suck it ahyuckers!".
- Taking a picture of Pomni's butt as a form of revenge and getting even with her putting pictures of his butt in the open.
- Showed excitement with the idea of killing people when Kinger held a gun and when Kinger said he's going for Jax, Kaufmo was still excited to hunt him.
- When he got shot by a tank Kinger summoned and exclaimed "WHY IS IT ALWAYS MEEEE?!", he told the viewers to suck his "goofy ballz" in response to being told to "git over it"; this visual is solely played for laughs however.
- Tricking Eric Cartman's friend "Jackson" into thinking Kenny went into the maze again under the map to make him go into the portal without hesitation, Jackson's gullible behavior resulted in Eric urgently following after him in response even when Ragatha and Kinger tried to tell Eric to not follow after Jackson, which overall greatly amused Kaufmo that he made a fool out of them and relished in it by telling his friends how it was some of the best "stupidity" he's ever witnessed in a while and was glad he fooled them with a urgency prank.
- Upon hearing Pomni telling Kaufmo himself that she crapped on the stage (and Caine hearing this made him want to check it out), Kaufmo congratulated Pomni for doing that as he also utilized this as a moment to torment Caine by taunting him about the gross factor just to get even with him when Caine was shocked.
- While he rebelled against Caine's commands, he poked Caine's teeth, eyeballs and pulling on his bow-tie out of revenge (Caine was especially ticked off by Kaufmo touching his bow tie).
- Threatening an NPC mannequin named Ming, that he would use a flamethrower on him if Ming told Gummigoo the secret that Pomni was cheating on him with Kaufmo.
- In his "bully" role alongside Pomni, he name-called Ming and insulted him by calling him a "nerd", a "cuck" and a "stickler for the rules" for, nearly almost corrupting Ming into using a gun on him and Pomni (where Pomni apologized, Kaufmo founded it amusing that Ming brought a gun and nearly shoot him and Pomni).
- He even said if he was ever scolded for his role in the adventure, he'll take a dump in the class without shame.
- He also left his girlfriend Pomni to being disciplined by the teacher Kinger and the principal Caine once Kinger told Kaufmo to leave the classroom, and got away with his "bully persona" antics in a sneaky fashion.
- Praising Pomni with her driving Kinger and another person off a cliff in the driving adventure and encouraging Pomni to continually commit acts of chaos and destruction any chance she got. When Kinger questioned Kaufmo's actions, Kaufmo's reasoning for this is that chaos was the most delicious thing ever since landing on the moon (his metaphor being that it brings the same excitement as an astronaut landing on a moon).
- Plotting a genocide list due to his anger with unintentionally falling out of a truck he couldn't catch up with.
- Beefing with Caine out of revenge and embitterment towards giving Kaufmo a drink that caused him pain regarding the previous episode "Looney Highlights of August 9th's Shenanigans of 2025", which is considered a serious crime of violation worth having him nearly arrested for in-universe.
- He also felt like strangling Caine out of fury regarding his stomach pain and even wanting to stage a murder on Caine (and tells this to Pomni).
- He wanted to shoot Caine for singing a Sonic R song as soon as Kaufmo said a shooter flew high at sonic speed.
- He wanted to use his eyeballs like ping pong balls as well as a paddle ball game.
- He threatened to hint the idea of eventually burning Caine's eyeballs one day.
- As soon as he got the opportunity to sit next to Caine, the first thing he did was choking and strangling Caine's eyeballs while in the truck, thus starting a small fight.
- He even does a rant where he will not calm down until "the days are met", implying he won't give up until he gets even with Caine.
- He attempted to get a shooter to do both: shoot Caine from the passenger's seat behind the truck (which resulted in friendly fire with Pomni due to the shield blocking the bullets), the second time later have the same shooter to make a stick up to Caine and attempt pulling him over (which Kaufmo encouraged him to do it before Pomni called off the chaos since she was eating something), and the third time having the same shooter from the passenger's seat; aimed a gun at Caine since the shooter in the front seat next to the driver Pomni, and the shooter then succeeded at having said shooter shoot Caine in the head all things considered during the beef scheme Kaufmo had targeting Caine.
- He implied that he wanted to turn Caine's dentures head into the wind-up teeth toy during the revenge scheme.
- He relied on the help of his FBI agent, Alastor, to putting Caine on judgment and even attempting to get Caine arrested for reckless driving.
- Telling his FBI agent to burn Caine alive like roasted turkey (while in the passenger's seat with Pomni, Purple, and Gummigoo) before Alastor disciplines Kaufmo to behave himself.
- It's even clear that Kaufmo wanted to take out Caine with the help of his FBI agent,
- Inadvertently crashing a ship into an iceberg in his role as a captain, which caused Kinger and Pomni to panic, and everyone else such as Gangle and Gummigoo, urgently leaving through a boat. He does acknowledge he went too far this time, albeit casually.
- In his Spider Kaufmo songs, he directly implied he'd burn houses in his role as a resident "superhero" and goes places no matter where his chaotic antics takes place at.
- Wanting to kill a Uganda Knuckles creature.
Powers and Abilities[]
Powers:[]
- Superhuman durability: He can fall and harm himself in any realistic way and it won't destroy himself even if it kind of hurts, and the fact he revives from drowning can make him nigh-immortal. Heck, he even high-fives the Sun herself, have a burning hand and casually comment on how hot she is that his hand was red from the high-five.
- Digital physiology: His body is made out of yarn, so he can't be skinned alive. This also allows him to walk outside into space without being harmed when he was walking outside his secret space fortress, and this explains how he couldn't destroy his lungs after smoking in Wild Westing Highlights of August 10th's Shenanigans of 2025.
- Nuclear farts: Only with the use of Gummigoo's constipated Super Saiyan form he tried to charge up, Kaufmo joining him and pushing just as hard into passing gas so intensely while standing next to him, can activate the power and ability to blow up worlds at will.
- Timely revival ability: Even when one of his weaknesses were revealed to be consuming rat poison hidden in a bowl of cereal and loses consciousness for a moment, he can quickly revive in time and recover from being fed rat poison before Pomni or anyone can take his butt sticking out when he was knocked out in Wild Westing Highlights of August 10th's Shenanigans of 2025.
- Controllable abstraction: Uniquely enough, he has the ability to abstract and unabstract at will if he so chooses to do so.
- Size Manipulation: If he gets angry or has the incentive to cause chaos, he is willing to enlarge himself at will and would want to crush people with his big fingers as a choice of attack, heck he'll even use all of his brute strength to destroy a entire castle with his bare hands.
- Glitching ability: He can perform glitches from jumping up high, and glitch through the grounds to find limbo. He can even look through walls to see where things are hidden.
- Wealth: Considering that he secretly lives in his own space fortress, he even reveals he has money (didn't say how much though), but enough to buy his own space fortress has to make him wealthy and extravagant without anyone knowing.
Abilities:[]
- Comedic timing: Unlike the original Kaufmo, it's shown that he had the ability to make people laugh at his crazy jokes and playful actions (e.g. doing jokingly flipping her off and especially pretending to be a ballerina; the latter especially got Pomni laughing so much to the point of tearing in laughter in The Highlights of July 5th's Shenanigans of 2025; thus revealing that Pomni is the one who frequently enjoys Kaufmo's antics and finding a few of his jokes to be infectious the most compared to most people), and is capable of using this ability to shock, confuse, mystify, allure and even distract people with his unfiltered sense of humor and off-the-wall surreal comedy as intended.
- Heck, even when he used his abstraction form in Wild Highlights of July 18th's Shenanigans of 2025, him acknowledging how his abstracted voice sounded like a gruff "chain smoker" as Pomni called it and declares his start with chasing her, he made her laugh just like that before admitting his threats of capturing her.
- Ever since the first episode Best Moments of July 3rd's Shenanigans of 2025, him yelling at Kinger to stop being a terrorist and for him to get down the rooftop that Kaufmo called a "ceiling", this made Caine laugh even, and him saying stuff like patting Gangle's mask for no reason and how he had a "smelly brain fart" over nearly misnaming Gangle for Zooble; both of which even made Gangle laugh.
- Him doing the Gangnam Style dance while saying how much he hates doing it as a dare in a resigned fashion, got both Caine, Gangle and Pomni laughing.
- Him admitting he can't be skinned due to being made of yarn and calling a random Bubble with a hat a "bitch" made him genuinely laugh in Untitled Highlights of July 6th's Shenanigans of 2025.
- Him calling Nate "the snail" and that he's not a useful Pokemon, got both the rabbit person wheezing and chuckling, and Nate thought it was "crazy" to hear that in (and the rabbit person entertained this joke by saying how mentally slow Nate is) in Highlights of July 19th's Shenanigans of 2025.
- He can talk about him trying fight paralysis demons (and even mention "Big Rigs Over the Road Racing" style of glitching knowledge) make some people laugh while most are baffled with his randomness in JigSaw Highlights of July 26th's Shenanigans of 2025.
- Kaufmo can make exaggerated fat jokes (even at his own expense), or pretend to sound like Seth Rogen about getting more high (and even make a quip about love being found in unexpected places being taken to an extent regarding her confessing her feelings for him in Irregular Highlights of August 7th's Shenanigans of 2025), and he still makes Pomni laugh the most and amused by his constant jokey nature.
- However, in-universe this ability proves to be an apparent double-edged sword depending on how he carries himself with the joke and punchlines he brings constantly, and how subjective comedy is for those around him even in some situations he least expects. The 12th episode Royally Insane Highlights of August 3rd's Shenanigans, reveals two new insights about Kaufmo's joking tendencies. If he is asked to tell kid-rated jokes on the spot to amuse a queen in a kingdom castle and tell jokes like "if you like the Sun so much why don't you date it? Honk honk!" or "Who do you go to when you need a can with Popeye in it? A can of Whoop-Ass!", interestingly enough, the awkward silences he receives makes it clear that his jokes don't make the knight or the queen in said castle laugh out loud (which Kaufmo is surprised himself and causally admits that he is normally not this unfunny), proving that Kaufmo's brand of humor in situations like these is rather subjective and not as funny to others if it's too basic or try-hard. However, if he sticks to his naturally wild antics and randomly told jokes where he asks for more pizza after eating a emoji, quips about not wanting his balls sliced in half, unintentionally liberating himself from his cage he stayed in for a while by looking for the button for the TV in the cage, if he quips to someone about Pomni "dying" and to join the party, or if things surrounding him that makes him the butt of others' jokes like making light of how he takes massive craps, being honked in front of others or being silenced for being mouthy, these factors also causes people to laugh.
- High intelligence/Resourcefulness: He is quick-witted, observant, astute and a schemer who thinks on his feet and often tends to think on the fly, even when things go awry, or when his own overconfidence and personal amusement get the better of himself, nevertheless his intellect often makes him unpredictable.
- Master Manipulator: In a way, despite his goofy and insanely random behavior, he can be so charismatic and diplomatic that he can be a highly manipulative and devious individual to his avail (for the most part), especially since he's managed to convince others of his viewpoints, have people side with his actions and intents, and put elaborate ruses he orchestrates and comes up on the fly into motion to inflict on several people. Examples include Highlights of July 27th's Shenanigans of 2025; he was able to concoct a believable lie about Jax trying to cause trouble and also admit he wanted to get Jax fired and immediately have people believe him even when Kaufmo isn't honest which caused Jax to get chased, Highlights of July 25th's Shenanigans of 2025; where he gets Pomni encouraged to take part in humiliating Jax with revealing and exposing his secret crush for Gangle, which Kaufmo high-fived Pomni for causing Jax to run away, Royally Insane Highlights of August 3rd's Shenanigans of 2025; even was so perceptive to see through Jax's trick and confidently took advantage of Jax's "full woman mode" Maid form by ordering him and forcing him to go to the kitchen and make Kaufmo a knuckle sandwich to eat (he also used Caine's cocaine knowingly to cope and said Caine couldn't do anything about it), Looney Highlights of August 9th's Shenanigans of 2025; he got away with making fun of Eric Cartman by saying how he looks like a hamburger and needed a stool (which many agreed with Kaufmo and Eric was so defensive to everyone calling Eric "fat"), and Wild Westing Highlights of August 10th's Shenanigans of 2025; he eventually achieved at getting a shooter to shoot Caine in the face after his attempts didn't work in the beginning due to a force shield blocking bullets, finally to see Caine in pain as what he wanted during the revenge scheme.
- Cunning/Deception: Kaufmo can be really crafty and deceptive when he wants to be on a few occasions:
- He likes using trickery to outsmart his enemies when he has to evade from an embarrassing situation, such as the time he went hiding to evade from Jax trying to bite his fingers (which worked since Jax got distracted by talking to Pomni and Kaufmo was proud he could outwit Jax in this chase since Kaufmo saw himself as too clever for him; as well as stating he's "so sly so slick"), the time Kaufmo persuaded Bubble into jumping off a cliff into a blue void and that got Bubble stuck under the map. He also pretended to press reset when Bubble actually resets, which made him safe from the Bubble while Kaufmo chilled in the "goofy pits" until Kinger came in to retrieve him.
- He played a joke on a mannequin trying to chop bricks with a sword and laughed mischievously about the prank he pulled.
- He plays along with Kinger's antics with telling Manager Gangle that Kaufmo was watching Ragatha, and Kaufmo made her think he was watching Ragatha fan art.
- He was able to outsmart zombified versions of Pomni and Gummigoo at least twice by distracting zombie Pomni with the Spudsys logo before running, and the second time being done by presenting the "Mask TV" to trap them in a room while Kaufmo ran to find Kinger.
- When he and Kinger were in a puzzle room, not in the dark, where Kaufmo played a mind trick on a disguised Kinger and made Kinger think Kaufmo was eating a sandwich when Kaufmo really had two jigsaw puzzle pieces in his hands.
- He managed to trick Eric's friend "Jackson" into thinking Kenny went in a maze again, successfully deceiving him and causing Eric to urgently follow him afterwards, which Kaufmo relished in his prank working as he intended.
- He tried to trick Caine into thinking Kaufmo was under control by Caine and surprised him that Kaufmo revealed himself to be more rebellious than Caine had thought.
- He was able to take note of Caine's eye pupils facing backwards while he was driving until he stopped driving (despite Caine saying he can see where he's going) and effectively distracted him and caused a collision in his driving, throwing Caine completely off-guard once Kaufmo got Caine stuck before resetting the car he was driving.
- Strategic thinking: He likes to strategize whenever he makes a plan that benefits himself, and can adapt with another person's ideas, for example:
- "Wild Highlights of July 18th's Shenanigans of 2025" has him strategizing where to hide. While it worked for some time, he put some thought into his plan even if it went awry since Bubble gained the ability to fly and find his hideout.
- "Royally Insane Highlights of August 3rd's Shenanigans of 2025" has him agreeing with Pomni's idea to cause mass destruction, and he saw potential in the idea Pomni had that Kaufmo saw as a genius idea of hers, and acts on this by using his Size Pag to enlarge himself and destroy the castle with his bare hands before it cuts to another scene where he and Pomni are antagonizing others, and Kaufmo crushes multiple people's spines such as Jackson's. This episode also has him intentionally placing his rear away from others so when he sniffs lines of cocaine, which worked as he intended so nobody can take pictures of his butt (e.g Pomni) and deliberately prevent any opportunity of getting more butt pictures taken of him.
- Exceptional hacking skills: In The Highlights of July 5th's Shenanigans of 2025, just using his phone, he was able to search up anything for knowledge such as the Mirror and Moon spell, and even anyone's deepest details via Fandom and other sources such as what Zooble is (an avatar of Zolo blocks) and Caine's backstory with the Moon herself, much to Caine's embarrassment. He also discovered Jax's search history and kept it a secret.
- In Highlights of July 25th's Shenanigans of 2025, he can also track anyone's search history, and claims to be a professional hacker who shows to use a computer and type spontaneously to immediately hack into anyone's Google accounts and expose what was in their Google searches, such as Caine looking up NSFW pictures of the Moon to expose his horny desire for the Moon, exposing Ragatha's attempted searches for Kaufmo NSFW butt pictures on the web, and even what Pomni was looking up before Jax even tried looking into it once Kaufmo already has.
- Fighting skills: Despite being a jokester who is often more prone to retreating in a chase scene in any episode, and despite him (alongside Kinger) losing a fight to Pomni, when he fought against a rabbit person; he was still able to win in a one on one fight since he was proving himself to not be a wuss in a challenge forced onto him compared to Nate chickening out in Highlights of July 19th's Shenanigans of 2025.
- He calls some of his fighting moves "Goofy Smackdown" and "Mega Goofers" while saying Gawrsh sometimes.
- Escapology: While he can't leave the digital world, he will find many ways to escape and flee from a predicament no matter what happens, and appears to be a catalyst of escape even when he's trapped in a cage at a castle; he unintentionally founded a way out and took the opportunity to run, this allowed Pomni to escape from said cage as well even though Kaufmo ran away from a moon man named Jackson chasing Kaufmo.
- Left arm: His left elbow and hand can chop bricks, even with his elbow, and this ironically works much better than his right arm and hand.
- Wall Climbing: In a titanic adventure in Wild Westing Highlights of August 10th's Shenanigans of 2025, he was once given the ability to climb things by pinching anything or anyone. This extends to full on climbing ceilings when he was "Spider Kaufmo", it's even shown that Kaufmo is better at climbing ceilings better than his friends and his girlfriend Pomni could.
- Grind Railing: At the digital carnival, he can use his feet to grind on the rails flawlessly similar to grinding rails with a skateboard in Highlights of July 25th's Shenanigans of 2025.
- Strong mind: This ability allows Kaufmo to withstand all kinds of Stupid Sauce, he can avoid being tricked or manipulated easily, and this helps him avoid being hypnotized and mind-controlled for this reason alone. This factor plays into the fact he can control his abstraction, and why he can survive any side-effects even drinking something he shouldn't drink.
- Butt Charisma: As bizarre as this sounds, according to Dr. Mario, the 85% percentage of Ragatha's in the universe being attracted to his butt increase by every dump he takes (meaning that when it reaches 100% it just never ends), and regarding the 20% of Ragatha's that aren't attracted to him, Kaufmo not taking a dump will increase the likeliness of Ragatha's not being attracted to him. This causes others like Caine to find humor in it, and it somehow caused Bubble and surprisingly Ragatha herself to have pretty dirty thoughts on his butt.
Weaknesses:[]
- Overconfidence: While he is smart, carefree, mostly diplomatic and self-aware, his overconfidence, over-curiosity and innately loud/vocal behavior he does out of personal amusement, can occasionally lead him to make reckless decisions and mistakes that can put him at disadvantage or being open to attack in a situation, which can cause Kaufmo to be prone to mishaps and misfortunes he didn't at all intend.
- Rat Poison: Consuming Rat Poison will knock Kaufmo out for a short amount of time, especially if Kaufmo doesn't know it's rat poison in cereal.
Tools:[]
- Multi-Purpose Pad: He uses a light blue pad to control his Size Manipulation powers of his avatar height, and even reset if he got stuck somewhere in a map.
Relationships[]
Sun[]
Despite the fact they first met in Highlights of July 19th's Shenanigans of 2025, where Kaufmo was making a quip to Pomni that the Sun's existence being the reason why the room is so warm and wasn't the thermostat being the cause of the temperature. He attempted to say there was no pun intended at her expense, which then caused her to point a fire stick at him (with menacing and omnious music), thus signaling she felt like she wanted him to take back what he said about her, and Kaufmo in a cowardly posture said that he didn't mean to use a Sun joke at her expense and was just being honest, which diffused the situation and got her to move back.
| “ | Wow... You really ARE hot, my hand's red just high-fiving you... I'm serious- that's *stammers* that was like a compliment not like y'know. Like that! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo's compliment to the Sun once his hand was flaming when he high fived her. |
Ever since the episode JigSaw Highlights of July 26th's Shenanigans of 2025, it's even shown that his interactions with the Sun is evidently unlike how he usually interacts with the main characters. For a character like Kaufmo, a goofy clown who is known for his cheeky jokester-type personality, finds himself in a unique and unexpected situation like charming the Sun even when Kaufmo least expected her to take interest in him. Despite his usually witty and overconfident demeanor, he becomes uncharacteristically shy, nervous and even bashful when the Sun becomes interested in him (ironically even more so than Kaufmo had hoped for Ragatha to respond). Even though he begins the interaction by talking about "butt charisma" and then complementing her looks and when he asked her for a high five since Caine was not around, he then states how hot she literally is from a high five alone, he seems to be caught off guard by her interest and becomes adorably awkward in her presence during the unexpected turn of events causing Kaufmo to struggle with his words and find himself at a loss for words, even revealing softer side to his usual personality. Despite this, he still manages to maintain his sense of humor and maintain a playful atmosphere, acknowledging his own awkwardness and the absurdity of the situation.
| “ | Kaufmo, surprised: Oh uh hi! Oh uh hi, hi! ...Oh, hi how ya? Sun: Oh, oh I just wanted to thank you for your kind words. Kaufmo, nervous: Oh... Uh anytime Sun even though I'm, sweating like crazy yeah uh, any anytime! *record scratch* Sun, realizing why he's sweating: Oh uhm right I, sorry. Kaufmo: No you're good you're good, I'm not- I'm kind of like, I'm kind of like used to the heat. I went to Arizona one time before I came to the circus and I was, fine with the heat. So, this ain't bothersome I just didn't want to offend! ...If that makes any sense! Sun, flirty: Mhm, mhmm. Kaufmo: But I'm gonna bow to that one. |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo interacting with the Sun despite the Sun naturally making him sweat with her strong heatwaves. |
Kaufmo thought the Sun wouldn't appear after how incredibly awkward he was being, which surprised him when the Sun approached him with a smile, with a almost open hugging gesture, and she states how thankful she was of Kaufmo's kind words, which Kaufmo responds nervously by saying of course and he'd compliment her anytime despite sweating so much. The Sun remembers the fact she is literally capable of making people prespire with her existence alone, she apologizes and Kaufmo politely reassured her that it was okay since he once went to Arizona and was fine with the heat, clarifying that Kaufmo doesn't mind and just didn't want to offend her in a rationalizing manner. The Sun responds to his adorkable behavior with a flirty giggle before leaving, which Kaufmo does a bow to her when she makes her departure.
The second time this happens again in Fanciest Highlights of July 31st's Shenanigans of 2025, he first said hi to her in a bit of a slightly hesitant manner. Even when Kaufmo initially was focused on the movie trailer Pomni made, the Sun stood near to him, and Kaufmo was surprised that the trailer was even happening in the room with his friends. Once he was questioning why he is sweating again, the Sun apologized again for giving off strong heatwaves, and Kaufmo was rather understanding of the fact she is the sun and respecting that fact about her, and yet again reassures her that he is fine with her heatwaves.
He even finds out that the Sun was trying to burn the butt pictures of Kaufmo that Pomni was placing on the floor, something that Kaufmo wanted to do as well in the first place, and Kaufmo was happy that Sun was siding with Kaufmo, which made Kaufmo admit that he already likes her for this reason alone. When Pomni seemed to be way too eager (and attracted/obsessed) with the Kaufmo butt picture, and Sun comments on her extreme interest, Kaufmo even admits he has to stick around her talk when Pomni's obsession for butt picture jokes continue happening, the Sun even asks Kaufmo if this is turning into a "love dodecahedron" from just Pomni's behavior alone, which Kaufmo remains confused of the situation itself.
As soon as Caine encouraged Kaufmo to hang out with Sun, he seems to immediately like the idea, and the Sun herself seemed to also agree with that. Despite Kaufmo and Sun being in the room filled with odd or strange people such as Pomni and Caine, Kaufmo even admits to the Sun that he will need to stick around her more often to keep his sanity intact, and didn't care about getting a sunburn or a tan from her as long as he feels safe with her around. Kaufmo continues bonding with her after the Sun was silently gesturing that Caine is a crazy person with her hand, and Kaufmo paid attention to her when she made a movie line reference before smiling again, hinting more chemistry to be had between the two.
Each time Caine asks Kaufmo how is his relationship with the Sun going, Kaufmo admits it just got started and the Sun herself is either like a sunset or a sunrise to him whenever they interact.
Pomni[]
Kaufmo initially treated her as a friend in the very first episode and when he was so enthusiastic about stories that it made his "goofy balls" bounce, Pomni called him "cute", she saved his life from falling into a pit that was staged by Zooble since she values him so much in the second episode, she shows excitement from hugging Kaufmo during a Truth and Dare game, and unexpectedly kissing him during her panicking in a castle chase fight scene in Royally Insane Highlights of August 3rd's Shenanigans of 2025.
"French Pomni"
Surprisingly enough, Kaufmo somehow even managed to cause Pomni pf all people, to fall in love with him and have a hidden crush on him before confessing her feelings to him in Irregular Highlights of August 7th's Shenanigans (which Kaufmo didn't assume Pomni had any real feelings for him and thought she was being her usually oddball self). After it seemed like Kaufmo was thinking about dating the Sun initially, Kaufmo treats her sudden flirting (calling him beautiful a few times) as random jokes of hers prior to finding out she really likes him more than a friend, and that was when Kaufmo took consideration of her feelings towards him, and that was when Kaufmo was being more loving and affectionate towards her in return.
In the episode Irregular Highlights of August 7th's Shenanigans of 2025, it becomes noticeable that Pomni had revealed her flirtatious side to him before confessing her love for Kaufmo as soon as she called him "pookie" while she was laying down in an alluring posture, this made Kaufmo question her at first glance and thought she was trying to do the "draw me like one of your french girls" joke posture (which is why he called her French Pomni, and later once he witnesses Pomni trying to impress him with dancing on the ground while she was getting high and drunk off the Stupid Sauce, and she also admitted her feelings to him genuinely (and not faking it either, even telling that she's not joking as Kaufmo thought). This made Kaufmo consider her feelings even though he initially saw her as a best friend of his, he wanted to talk about it with her despite claiming to be "socially awkward" himself (which Pomni empathizes with him since she is also socially awkward herself), and Kaufmo sees the message for how "love can be found in the most unexpected places" and how this moment exceeded that very message into a more surprising example of the bunch (as he so puts it).
| “ | Pomni's my girlfriend now? What the ahyuck? | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo in disbelief that he even started a relationship with Pomni in "Irregular Highlights of August 7th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
When he called over Pomni and talked in a hiding spot since he wanted to talk about how they should start a secret relationship with each other that Pomni wanted to keep secret, Pomni immediately went up to kiss him (possibly on the forehead) before running off, and Kaufmo admits turning red again and the fact it has been long since anything like that happened. While he and Pomni were blushing until Shadow came in and asked Pomni about something, Kaufmo is surprised that Pomni had become his girlfriend all of the sudden.
He appreciates every time she flirts with him, even appreciating her kisses and even when she directly kissed him during class in "Looney Highlights of August 9th's Shenanigans of 2025".
Quotes[]
| “ | What? I can't like anime titties? (laughs) What? I like women. (chuckles) That's why I allow Ragatha to take pictures of my ass!~ | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo admitting his love for women and proudly owning up to his own weird antics with amusement in his first appearance "The Oddball Digital Shenanigans; Best Moments of July 3rd's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Kaufmo: Caine took a massive, Caine dump while we were waiting? Pomni: *laughs* Kaufmo: *laughs* |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo to Caine. |
| “ | Jax: Okay Kaufmo. Kaufmo: What!? Jax: Okay, didja did you know your cake is deflated? Kaufmo: Yes! I DID! I dunno why Ragatha wants pictures of that. She beats uhm, she beats her uh you know what in her sleep when she looks at it. |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo's weirdest joke answer as to why Ragatha wants his butt pictures, insinuating that Ragatha is secretly horny for him. |
| “ | Oh! Wait Pomni! Wait Wait Wait I didn't mean by the beans! Wait, not the beans! NOT THE BEANS!!! Oh! Oh no! No! *Wheezes* guys help me the Pomni drills chasing me! The Pomni drills chasing me! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo. |
| “ | Man, my legs are too broken for this shit! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo running away from Pomni. |
| “ | You'll never catch me I'm going into the pits! You'll never find me in my secret goofy pits! Alright! Wait, bowling pin! Take me with you, I need to get my slow ass in there! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo. |
| “ | I'm not even ashamed, that's my Kaufmo dump! I'm not even ashamed of it anymore! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo. |
| “ | Because that's my business! That's my hobby! If I need a poop rug, then I poop on that rug! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo to Pomni questioning why Kaufmo has a rug of crap. |
| “ | Do it harder Ragatha.~ (laughs and wheezes) | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo making light of Ragatha grabbing his neck. |
| “ | HUZZUH!! High five! Go- Zo- Gangle! I patted your mask for no reason! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo's response for Gangle making her first blooper. |
| “ | I had a mental lapse, I had a brain fart, it's, it's, smelly! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo's reasoning for nearly accidental misnaming Gangle for Zooble. |
| “ | Oh... Hah I get it I'm FAT! I get it, I get it you you silly, robot man, you're funnie. | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo being playfully sarcastic about Kinger saying Kaufmo was a big target as a reason to shoot him in the butt. |
| “ | Hah, I'm so sly I'm so SLICK! I'm so sly I'm so slick Kinger, I avoided the uh, the finger punishment. So thank god! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo telling Kinger he avoided having his fingers bit by Jax which he believed he did it in a clever, sneaky and astute manner. |
| “ | This is life cat, THIS IS LIFE!!! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo's response to a cat saying hi to him in the life of heaven. |
| “ | Kaufmo: I'm reading the best book ever Jackson, honestly grinding for money is the best part of this, chapter and I just got started reading. Jax: You actually like reading Kaufy? Kaufmo, sarcastically: Yes I DO Jackson... AH yes! I like my tentacle- I'm not gonna say it. (Bleep!) Jax: I'm sorry what!? I'm sorry, say that again?! Kaufmo, amused: *wheezes* I like my tentacle uh, fantasies! *wheezing laughter* Ahahah! |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo making fun of a tentacle fetish. |
| “ | Jax, amused: Kaufmo you literally ju, you said 'I like that tentacle' *snickers* Kaufmo: It was nothing personal Jackson! You you lied about your fear of corn, so I'm lying about my love for fantasies! |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo's response to Jax. |
| “ | Kaufmo, curious: Oh? Who's up there? Oh, oh those ahyuckers! Those fellas howya doing? Pomni: Nauseous, from this guy's driving. Kaufmo: Well, it was intentional driving we founded the Void! We had some- we saw some beautiful blue. Some BEAUTIFUL BLUE. |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo to Pomni and her two friends. |
| “ | Kaufmo: Guys I'm so excited about, stories I'm jumping my! Goofy BALLS off the air! Pomni: He's so cute bro what the hell? He's so, cute! Dr. Penguin guy: Let's not. Kaufmo: *wheezes* Jax: *amused wheeze cough* I can't with you Kaufmo. Kaufmo: Gawrsh. Yahoo man. Dr. Penguin guy: Take a look at your legs. Pomni: He got beans in his- Kaufmo: These ARE balls look at 'em! There's three of 'em! Pomni: *gasps* I got balls too! I got two balls! Kaufmo: But I got three so uhm, oh well (flips her off) ahyuck you- *wheezes* I'm joking. *snickers* Pomni: *laughs* Jax: I got two of them. Right here! My buttons' right here. Kaufmo: I got three of 'em! Jax: That's weird. Kaufmo: Oh well! I'm BUILT different motherahyucker! |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo being excited about the adventures that awaits him and wanting to bring attention to his three balls on his outfit. |
| “ | Pomni, amused: Kaufmo why do you have three balls hanging off your chest? *chuckles* Kaufmo: Because I'm balling like that basketball game! Jax: *laughs* Kaufmo: I'm just saying ahyuckers! |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo's answer to Pomni's question, admitting to living a rich lifestyle in a playful manner. |
| “ | Chlamydia? WHO KNEW IT'D ALL COME DOWN TO CHLAMYDIA?! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo to the penguin doctor. |
| “ | Pomni: Can you please murder Zooble? They kept tricking me into- Kaufmo: Why? Why do you want me to murder a toy? They can't dangit have a- they don't even have a SPINE I mean do they? Besides the neck. Pomni: I don't KNOW, ask them! Kaufmo: What's with the murder? *scoffs* |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo to Pomni in "Pomni saved me from abstracting on July 5th 2025". |
| “ | Pomni: Why are we clipping through the ground again? I don't wanna clip through the ground. Kaufmo: I'm going to my Goofy Pits aren't I? YES! Pomni: You have a goofy, goofy balls! Kaufmo: Well yeah, that too. Pomni, amused: Goofy balls, goofy balls! Kaufmo: Apparently everything, everything. Pomni: *wheezes* Zooble: Alright real talk real talk we're doing it we're actually doing it. Kaufmo: Oh? I knew it! Pomni: Wait where are we going? Kaufmo: My Goofy Pits!~ Bye!! I'll see you in the afterlife! Pomni: You son of a freaking god. Kaufmo, stunned: Oh... Pomni: Oh I'm a better driver than Zooble, get in get in! Kaufmo: Pomni saved me from my fate of DEATH! I appreciate you jester lady! Pomni: *giggles:* Yes, from abstracting like a good pick for Gangle! Oh my god, full speed ahead baby! Kaufmo: Well, I only fell the one time then uhm, funny twist of fate is beautiful now. Pomni, singing: 🎶12 up to the monkey farrel monkey barrel!🎶 Wait isn't it monkey barrel? |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo to Pomni in "Pomni saved me from abstracting on July 5th 2025". |
| “ | "List the 5 recent things you've searched on your phone" Hmmm lemme think about this, one of them was, the 'Moon and Mirror' spell that Kinger suggested to me, secondly it was uhm, Jax's uh, his search history, the third thing was... well uh everything about Zooble like Zolo blocks, and the fifth thing: uhm, Caine's backstory with Moon, that's what- the five things I've searched. | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo revealing what secrets he founded on his phone and used this as a opportunity to surprise many in "The Highlights of July 5th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Kaufmo: We all missed you. Ragatha: What's- So Kaufmo, "Ragatha likes beating her y'know what to my butt pictures" huh"? Kaufmo: Yeah apparently I didn't think that Ragatha, flustered: NO! Kaufmo: was your kink but okay. Ragatha, embarassed: No I don't! *runs away* Kaufmo: *snickers* |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo teasing Ragatha and suggesting his joke of her being horny for him was true, which Ragatha denies and Kaufmo finds her reaction quite amusing. |
| “ | I'm not mooing, I'd rather jump off a cliff. | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo embarassed by Kinger's dare to share something embarassing such as mooing and getting everyone to moo with him, which Kaufmo would rather getting poked in the eyes or jump off a cliff. |
| “ | Ragatha: Kaufmo! Kill Dibby, you have to kill Dibby that's my final wish. Kaufmo: *stammers* Anything for you Ragatha, anything. *kisses her forehead* Dibby: It's not okay Ragatha, it won't get better. Kaufmo: I'm gonna- I'm gonna strangle you. *wheezes:* I'm gonna strangle Dibby. Dibby: You wanna go you wanna go you wanna go!? Kaufmo: YUP! Caine: Kaufmooo! Gooo! Kaufmo: Sorry! I had to do this for my love of my life- nevermind! *chuckles* |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo admitting his infatuation for Ragatha. |
| “ | "Pretend to be a ballerina". Fuck it, fuck it lets do this. | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo choosing the ballerina dare over smelling Dibby's feet. |
| “ | Kaufmo: I'll take a chocolate milkshake, with caramel on it. Bubble: Okay, okay yeah. Kaufmo: And, that's all I have to- Bubble: Is this a bad time to bring up that I'm illerate I can't ready anything I just like to press the buttons? Yeah I like to press the buttons, they make a nice sound. Kaufmo: Wha... So I'm ordering this shit for nothing!? I HAVE MONEY! |
„ |
| ~ in "Untitled Highlights of July 6th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Ah, ah lets go! Uh, I'mma gonna beat you to this one Jackson! I- You will not out-scoliosis me! I am Kaufmo, the one with the most fucked up uh spine in the entire universe!! *snickers* Uh, get back here Jackson! Ugh, oh, that feels GOOD! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo competing against Jax with getting the most scoilosis, and enjoys getting ran over by cars in "Untitled Highlights of July 6th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Bubble with Hat: I don't think he realizes the danger. We should skin him. Kaufmo: "Skin" me?! I'm made of yarn, bitch! You can't skin me!! |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo's response to Bubble and his friend with a hat planning to skin him in "Untitled Highlights of July 6th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Kaufmo: Well, there you go! I have a ball. Bubble with Hat: Dipping sauce. Kaufmo: You put Stupid Sauce on there? Why didn't you just use Silly Paint? That's the most underrated, product placement in this entire universe! Including Kauf-Tire. |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo to a male Bubble in "Untitled Highlights of July 6th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Kaufmo: I see what you're trying to do Ragatha, you want me to pick up that gun, so I can bend over, and stick my gyatt out- Ragatha: NO! I was not!- I was watching, but now that you mentioned it lemme get my camera ready.~ Kaufmo: Your name is Goon-agtha. Ragatha: My name is not Goonertha you're FREAKmo in the server. Kaufmo: *chuckles* You wanted me to pick up that gun. Left wait- Ragatha: I wasn't thinking about it until you mentioned it. Kaufmo: What if I stay like this though I'm standing like this- Ahh there you go! I I caught your ass! I caught your ass! I CAUGHT your ass!! I KNEW it! Ragatha: Go on now pick up the gun before somebody steals it. Kaufmo: Wait Gummigoo are you seeing this? Ragatha: Oh not Gummigoo. Kaufmo: Bro bro I was about to, pick up the gun and she went all the way across, and pull her camera out and take pictures of my gyatt- Ragatha: I wasn't going to until you mentioned it. Kaufmo: Yeah I knew what you were doing, *stammers* I know you by now, I see through you Ragatha I see you. Ragatha: I'm not Goonertha. |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo teasing Ragatha. |
| “ | Dibby: Actually we're actually the entire, the whole gooner group chat. Kaufmo, excited: We're murdering GOONERS!? Dibby, amused: No *giggles* a secret group chat. Kaufmo: That sounds awesome. |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo expressing a desire to kill "gooners". |
| “ | Well since the fourth thing was the, Pomni's Bean Cookbook, I saw the Moon acting all frisky with you the second time, and I was like "Hmmm where have I seen this before? Ah! The internet history part!" That's where I got it from, from you and the Moon! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo explaining how he discovered Caine's history with the Moon in "Wild Highlights of July 18th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Well we got children in here, there better be no uh weird minor gropers and shit, *scoffs* or we're gonna kick their asses bro! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo once he sees Kyle arrive in the circus. |
| “ | Do you see that blue shit? That's where my ass is! ...It's down there. | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo tricking Bubble into falling off a cliff and flying into the blue void. |
| “ | I'm up HERE! You can never find me BITCHES!!! Wait... You'll never FIND me! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo in "Wild Highlights of July 18th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Wait a minute... HAH! I outsmarted the Bubble!! YES!!! Take that! Silly bubble, you forgot I didn't, I didn't reset | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo relishing in outwitting and evading from Bubble. |
| “ | I'm trying to get a grip of my sanity Pomni, what do you have to me? | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo to Pomni in "Wild Highlights of July 18th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Oh, damn, the second floor. Genius, Kaufmo! My planning, my genius! I finally avoided that shit! Okay lemme just... thank god my ass is safe. God, who knows what kinky weird SHIT could've happened if I was, helpless, and didn't do anything like a fucking wuss. | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo. |
| “ | Oh! Why do I say things!? Why do I not SHUT UP ABOUT THINGS?! Ah! Ah! Wha! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo commenting on his own fatal flaws being his overconfidence and indiscretion once he tried loudly whispering to Kinger that staying away from Bubble will work as long as he doesn't notice Kaufmo. |
| “ | We HAVE to kill them for this, they can't get away with DeviantArt Bullshit! We have to track them DOWN! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo to Kinger after witnessing Bubble and a disguised Ragatha acting like deviants by attempting to ask Jax if "Jax x Kinger" is canon in "Wild Highlights of July 18th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Should we get these ahyuckers for such, such deviancy! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo to Kinger about Bubble and a furry going to ask Jax if "Jax x Kinger" is canon. |
| “ | Kaufmo: Wait wait wait, why are licking me!? I taste like sandpaper! What are you doing?! Ragatha: What? Jax: How do you know what sandpaper taste like? Ragatha: He probably ate sandpaper. Kaufmo: Bubble is licking my- Jesus why?! Jesus! Bubble: Hungary! *slurping sounds* Kaufmo: Wha I don't taste good bro! What the hell!? |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo in response to Bubble licking his face in "Wild Highlights of July 18th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Jax! Where is the restroom? WHERE is the restroom? TELL ME WHERE THE RESTROOM IS!!!! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo to Jax in "Wild Highlights of July 18th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Bubble: Bend over big boy.~ Kaufmo, alarmed: What- NO! No-ha NO! I'm outta here! |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo evading from Bubble. |
| “ | I gotta go to my Goofy Pits, I gotta run away! Oh my god I'm out of here bro. NO! You will NOT touch my ass! I'm going this way now! NO!!!! NO!!!! I'm out of here bro NO! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo to Bubble |
| “ | Take me with you! I'm gonna commit self die!! Yaaaaaaa-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooey! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo jumping into the "goofy pits" and making a suicide joke to evade from being licked inappropriately by Bubble in "Wild Highlights of July 18th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Ah, wow it seems I have rigged the game and define physics! Le huh Le huh Le HAH! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo once he used the second floor to avoid getting licked and stalked by Bubble in "Wild Highlights of July 18th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Oh no! My goofer pooper is doomed! It smells like shiiiit! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo once he hopped off a castle and ran away from Bubble. |
| “ | Kaufmo: Hey Bubble! You want to know what's so cool about this bottom of the map? You want to know what's so beautiful about this part of the map? You see that blue shit? That's where my ass is! ...It's it's down there! *Wheezes and claps his hands* Bubble: Couldn't see it. Kaufmo, startled: OH!!!! |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo persuading and tricking Bubble into jumping off a cliff and into the blue void. |
| “ | AAGH! Why does!? Why does the internet have to be so BAD?! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo in response to Bubble licking his face for the second time in "Wild Highlights of July 18th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | But I did it. I did it! The Mighty and Powerful Kaufmo, has survived getting, kinky kinky uh punishments and shit! And they'll NEVER realize I'm up here, no matter how many times I yell and, scream like an Irate Gamer! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo relishing in evading Bubble in "Wild Highlights of July 18th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Why do you? No! Why do you eat that song too much? You ate too much of that shit, and now you're on ADHD and shit! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo regarding Bubble eating too much of the theme song of Sonic X. in "Highlights of July 19th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Yes! My solution to not getting uhm, touched inappropriately: The Void. I am so blessed. | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo regarding Bubble eating too much of the theme song of Sonic X. in "Highlights of July 19th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Stop licking MY ASS! I have, STD (Stupidly Transmitted Diseasez)! I have to run!!! *sob laughing* | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo to Bubble in "Wild Highlights of July 18th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Caine: Uhhhh Kaufmo you know, running is not gonna help. You know can, I'm much faster than you, I'm like Sonic the Hedgehog. Bubble: Running can't save you. Kaufmo: I dunno! I tried!! We tried everything! WHY!? I'm not a ice cream! Daine: Bubble! Stop trying to lick Kaufmo, he's not very comfortable with that! Enough of that! |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo in "Wild Highlights of July 18th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Kaufmo: Ah there you go! You made a- wait wait wait- Daine: There, there's a stain on the floor lick that up, there's a stain on the floor. Kaufmo: You made a Bubble dump. Pomni: Leave us alone and lick that. *chuckles* |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo having Daine and Pomni help him side against Bubble in "Wild Highlights of July 18th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Bubble: Wait step in it. Kaufmo: Nononono you lick it. Bubble: Nono step in it. Kaufmo: NO you lick in it. Bubble: ...Just trust me. Kaufmo: Okay Rag- Okay Jax did it! Jax did it! Bubble: Okay? Kaufmo: *wheezes* |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo persuading Bubble to lick Jax's messy feet instead of Kaufmo once Jax walked on the puddle, which worked to Kaufmo's amusement in "Wild Highlights of July 18th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | No! NEVER! Ragatha and Pomni you'll never get my ASS pictures again! I burned ALL of them! Me and Kinger sneaked into your room, Ragatha, and we burned all of the pictures! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo to Ragatha in "Wild Highlights of July 18th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Bubble: Hey Kaufmo, ahhhhhhhh. Kaufmo: NO! I'm gonna get a restraining order on you, and you won't be touching me over a 32 foot pole! |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo impling he'd file a restraining order on Bubble in "Wild Highlights of July 18th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Abstracted Kaufmo: GAAAAWRSH I AM KAUFMO, THE MOTHERF(boink!)ING POWER ORBS! LOOK AT THIS, THESE TWO CHESS PIECES OH MY GOD. THESE TWO ARE VIBRATING LIKE MOTHERF(boink!)ERS OH MY GOD. Caine: What did you just say Kaufmo? Abstracted Kaufmo: I CAN FINALLY CHASE THIS LITTLE, JESTER LADY. AND I CAN FINALLY UHM, GET BACK AT JAX FOR STEALING MY BOWLING BALLS AND SH(boink!). |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo introducing himself in his abstracted form in "Wild Highlights of July 18th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Kaufmo: Why are we doing this? I don't wanna fight. Pomni: Because, because we're- wooahh. Kaufmo: I don't know how to- oh hi Pomni. Uhm... Pomni: Hello! Kaufmo: I'm frozen what the ahyuck? I'm stuck, I can't move. *dings* Kinger to Pomni: Don't touch me like that! Pomni: *laughs* Kaufmo: I'm not trying to I promise you man. Kinger: Not you Kaufmo I was talking to Pomni. Kaufmo: Oh are you, are you like uh Kinger's grandfather or something? Kinger, knocked out: Just Kinger. |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo doing a boxing match with Kinger and Pomni that Kaufmo didn't want to do in "Highlights of July 19th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Gawrsh! Time to make my Goofy Smackdown!! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo upon getting back up during the first half of the boxing tournament. |
| “ | ...Man this is some good s(boink!)t. I keep forgetting I can't swear GOD I hate this. Random guy: What is Kaufmo doing? Kaufmo: I'm just watching such a beautiful elderly smackdown with uh, a do- *stutters* young lady, I don't even give a crap anymore man... |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo when he is briefly watching Kinger and Pomni fighting while in the brawl in a "Highlights of July 19th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Two against ONE! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo's exclaimation once he's knocked down and defeated by Pomni's kick to his head in the boxing tournament. |
| “ | Do BETTER Jackson! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo taunting Jax in "Highlights of July 19th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Finally you don't SUCK Jax! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo to Jax in "Highlights of July 19th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Kaufmo: ...Am I making the Fudge monster s(boing!)t himself? What the heck? *laughs heartily* Fudge: No! I'm whacking you with my hands you bozo! Kaufmo, amused: *hearty laughter and chuckles* Wha, what were you doing? Fudge: I was fighting you with my Fudge hands could you not see!? Kaufmo: No I did not! They were just hiding down the floor I could not see them. |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo in response to Fudge trying to fight Kaufmo in "Highlights of July 19th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Kaufmo: Jesus! This man was thinking about- you don't have a nose. Fudge: No but I can still like sense it on my body though Kaufmo: With your eyes or your mouth or something? Fudge: No I said my body NOT MY EYEBALLS! Kaufmo: *snickers* Fudge: YOU are not a very good listener Mr. Clowno Man! You're making me VERY angry, with how BAD you are listening! *roars* Kaufmo: Oh there's your teeth I almost forgot what they looked like, jesus! Fudge: You know what I'm gonna eat you now. Kaufmo: *chuckles* I uh I don't even taste good bro! I taste literally worse than sandpaper, bro I taste like the worst piece of paper ever. Fudge: *roars* Kaufmo: *chuckles* You don't want this man. Mahahah! You wouldn't want this. |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo in response to Fudge getting sprayed with a piss spray in "Highlights of July 19th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Even dryer than my left pinky?~ | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo asking if the Shaharah desert was dryer than his pinky finger. |
| “ | WHAT?! BRO! Bro, why is my lefty good, at everything? What the hell? Dude what the hell? Bro, why? Bro, bro, bro my lefty, my left arm is a, a ultimate weapon. | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo in "Highlights of July 19th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Be careful fellas!~ My right arm is a weapon sometimes, I-I'm not bragging I'm just being serious and stuff. | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo to Pomni and her friends in "Highlights of July 19th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Meheheh!!! Bro, bro can you get me a Whooper and s(bonk!)t? It's delicious and Burger King and s(bonk!)t. | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo taking advantage of a situation and forming a prank call type of response to Tye. |
| “ | Are you SURE about that, my yarn is very ELASTIC and, hellbent! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo to a rabbit person wanting Kaufmo to fight her. |
| “ | Well that snail person is a complete wuss, I'll fight you. | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo to a rabbit person, regarding her friend Nate as a wuss. |
| “ | Yeah! I was gonna wind it up earlier, but now I'm thinking about ways I can, whoop some ass! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo once an rabbit person said they both have toy avatars. |
| “ | Kaufmo, triumphantly: Get your ass, SERVED! Nate: He's emoting. Rabbit Person: He's emoting on me bro! |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo to a rabbit person while emoting on them as part of his victory. |
| “ | Nate: He's emoting on you bro! Kaufmo: Hang on these nuts, rabbit man! I'm, I am KAUFMO!!! Now that is how you whoop some ASS! |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo during his victory of winning a boxing fight against a rabbit person. |
| “ | Kaufmo: But I can tell you made that as a art form because if we started to fight, you'd probably be on the flat like how I took care of that rabbit person. Nate: Oh yeah, I definitely would be. Kaufmo: Okay so that explains everything, got it! You know your place! Nate: Oh yeah. Kaufmo: You know your place snail man! You know your PLACE! Nate: Oh yeah. Kaufmo: I'm an dominant clown who doesn't. play by anybody's rules and s(boing!)t! |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo asserting his dominance onto Nate in "Highlights of July 19th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | You can't destroy my p(boink!)is, it's enough- It's already NUMB! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo to the rabbit person being a sore loser and trying to stab his crotch. |
| “ | Kaufmo:Ohhh wait, I might have some ideas hold up... Lemme lemme Lemme get rid of the evidence! WHERE'S THE EVIDENCE!? I gotta burn all of the pictures AGAIN! I did once I CAN DO IT AGAIN! Kaufmo: Oh it's right here. |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo breaking into Ragatha's room to find butt pictures of himself and burn them. |
| “ | Oh s(boink!)t they caught they caught me! HAH! I gotta get out *wheezes* AH!! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo running from Pomni who caught him breaking into Ragatha's room. |
| “ | They'll never find in me here ever again! ...Oh crap they got me again Pomni: *giggles* Kaufmo: I'm surrounded-Ah! Ow! I tried to burn the pictures I forgot the torch, I need to get my flamethrower again! |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo hides in Pomni's room before getting cornered and Pomni pounces into him with giggling. |
| “ | My beautiful name is: Exit exit exit! That should be my nickname, Exit! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo's idea of a nickname. |
| “ | Wait, nobody's around! Now I can do one thing I needed to do! ...Gawrsh! Time to BURN all the evidence! Where's the evidence? Lemme see, lemme find those BUTT pictures! She has it here somewhere! Oh wait even better, uhm, what's up here? Nothing yet. | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo sneaking into Ragatha's room to burn butt pics of himself in "Highlights of July 25th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Wait, ohhhh! Wait, maybe if I press this piano button it might blow up *plays key and explodes* Oh! Oh, well, Ragatha won't need to know I blew up her room again. *wheezes* | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo blowing up a piano in Ragatha's room in "Highlights of July 25th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | If I die, I'm NOT gonna let you go to my funeral. | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo's response to Jax encouraging him to go through a door in "Highlights of July 25th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Pomni: Get on my back! Get on my back I'll take you up. Kaufmo: Gawrsh! I can finally sit on a jester for no reason! |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo sitting on Pomni. |
| “ | Pomni: Ngggh you're all so heavy! Kaufmo: I know I'm FAT you don't have to make a joke about it! Zooble: Yeah Jax! Jax: Oh oh okay! I'm s- *stutters* Literally Zooble I am- you are skinner than a stick. Kaufmo: What in the heck am I looking at? |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo with Zooble, Jax and Pomni. |
| “ | Ahhh-hohohohooey! OH! Jesus, my shins love to be broken and shattered AGAIN! They're ALWAYS shattered | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo falling from tall heights since Pomni couldn't hold Zooble, Jax and Kaufmo at once. |
| “ | Gaawrsh! Cowabunga dude! Wait I should do a surfer boy accent! Duude! Sup-er cool man! Check it out! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo trying to do a surfer boy voice. |
| “ | Totally radical DUDE! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo while he is grind railing with his feet. |
| “ | And people say I have "Butt Charisma"? What about the Sun? The jokes write themselves! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo questioning is his butt talked about much when the Sun is bigger and rounder than him. |
| “ | Tubular dude! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo to the main crew. |
| “ | Might as well uh, make another goofy dump in uh, Gangle's room now that nobody can stop me. And there'll be a smelly bedroom in here. Gawrsh! And nobody's here to stop me. Time to make another goofy dump! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo in "Highlights of July 25th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Ugh, gawrsh, and I'm not flushing because there is literally no, there's literally no way to wash your hands! It's just, invisible air... Gangle's gonna have a smelly room, and I'm gonna blame it on Jackson! Mmmhmhmhm! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo in "Looney Highlights of August 9th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Well my, my narcoleptic legs can' do s(boink!)t! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo having a hard time climbing a tree. |
| “ | Jax: You're bald! You're bald! Kaufmo: I know Jackson! Don't make me CHOKE you again! Jax: *giggles* |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo to Jax. |
| “ | Evil Pomni: Hey Kaufmo I found your funeral. Kaufmo: ... You. You... I don't even have the energy to insult you about that one just, you! I'm just calling you a big U, like the letter not the word Evil Pomni: I ain't insulting ya I found it. Kaufmo: That's I'm making the big, the letter, U! |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo's response to Evil Pomni telling him that she founded his funeral. |
| “ | Kaufmo: Oh hey it's, it's the time machine!! Yes! The beautiful time machine, I can travel back to my past!!!! Caine: Do- Don't go in there yet! Kaufmo: Gawrsh I have some scheming to with this, with these rooms, where do I want to scheme? Jax: Kaufmo do not go! Kaufmo! Kaufmo: Oh I know, you wanna get drunk? Jax: Kaufmo! No no Kaufmo just come with us. Kaufmo: I'm gonna make a beautiful scheme later, and you won't expect it ahyuckers! |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo in "Highlights of July 25th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Well, damn I stayed invisible and then not really- what the ffff- What did I just do!? *chuckled* I broke through the map I didn't even try, bro what the ffff- there's my ass', it looks, beautiful. And uh, everybody up there bro what the heck? Bro! I barely tried! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo making a glitch trick without trying. |
| “ | They're all going inside to get some, uh, uh diabetes. Going with the, the candy and sh(bonk!)t? | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo to Zooble about where everyone went. |
| “ | Gawrsh, we have discovered the biggest sugar coma in history! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo regarding the Candy Kingdom in "Highlights of July 25th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | I don't think Caine knows what a donut is! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo after hearing Caine call a donut a "ring thing". |
| “ | Kaufmo: Hey Kinger, how lollin the popping bro? Kinger, loud whispering: ...I don't know. Kaufmo: *snickers* |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo in response to seeing Kinger jump on lollipops in the Candy Kingdom. |
| “ | Hey, it's the chocolate river! Time to go to the sh(whoop!)t river, let's do this! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo. |
| “ | I love you Ragatha, I LOVE YOUUU- wait what? | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo getting caught infatuating over Ragatha in front of Pomni, Caine, Zooble and Jax once Kinger silently signaled Kaufmo about the Ragatha head. |
| “ | Oh hey there's a deep fryer! Lemme get inside of it!! Time to jump inside a deep fryer! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo once he arrived to Spudsys. |
| “ | Hey it's the computer! Lemme look up Caine's internet history! I can FIND it NOW! On this computer! And Jax's internet history!!! Pomni I can find their internet history now! I'm a genius I can find in their hacking codes! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo taking the opportunity to hack everyone's Google accounts. |
| “ | Caine, is this true you liking looking up at the Moon in such uh, uh, poses? | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo briefly interrogating Caine for his secret lustful desire for the Moon. |
| “ | Time to go through, Pomni's search history. Lemme see here, lemme look in here... unicorns!? | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo. |
| “ | Let's see here, let's see here, what else can I hack? Let's see here uh- Ragatha's search history! Oh! I've always wanted to see, Ragatha's search history!!! ...Ragatha LOVES me?! That was in her, that was in her Google Search?! Somebody to love her and s(boink!)t?!? | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo. |
| “ | Kaufmo: Uh Pomni, what's it with you and uhm, jester men you'd like to date and stuff? Kinger: Yeah! Yeah. Pomni: Huh? Kinger: What was that? Kaufmo: I saw some uh jester men in your search history. Kinger: Literally your history. |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo interrogating Pomni. |
| “ | Manager Gangle: Guys get out of my office! Do your JOB! Kaufmo: I don't have one I'm just a hacker! I don't have a job I'm just a, a professional hacker! Manager Gangle: *stammers* C'mon everyone just, everyone out! Out out out out out! Everyone out everyone out, now now! Kaufmo: I'm a professional, I'm a professional actor- AH! Wait the door's shut, you locked me in! Aha! Ahah! Manager Gangle: Get out get out! Kinger get out you're not supposed to be here. Kaufmo: Well it was fun hacking the computer while it lasted. |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo. |
| “ | Gangle has a very nice uhm, mind control TV! But it ain't controlling me cuz I have a strong mind! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo regarding Gangle's TV. |
| “ | *snickers* Mmmm, delicious violence, I like my woman like that! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo witnessing Ragatha whacking Jax on the head. |
| “ | Gawrsh I'm Tony Hawk! Surf's up dude! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo. |
| “ | You like memes probably, you like dead memes. | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo to Pomni admitting she wanted a meme world to be her homeworld for no clear reason in "Highlights of July 27th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | You have a funeral of memes Pomni you have like, you have a catacomb of memes in your room now. | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo to Pomni in "Highlights of July 27th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | WHAT THE AHYUCK?! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo said upon witnessing Caine and Pomni acting like snarling dogs in "Fanciest Highlights of July 31st's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Kinger: We gotta make it to the, the "black square"! Kaufmo: Yeah the black square the blackest- Kinger: Actually it's supposed to be a circle technically. Kaufmo: Lets go Black Jesus! I like this. Kinger, confused: What? Black Jesus? No! What the f-, what the hell Kaufmo!? Kaufmo: I dunno I like Jesus! Kinger: Alright alright. |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo to Kinger in "Kaufmo and Kinger Car Shhhhenanigans on August 1st and 4th of 2025". |
| “ | I forgot how New York used to look like! I remember being in Anaheim and it didn't look this pretty. Gawrsh... I know, I know, I know how it is.... Don't worry, these paralysis demons out of me are going STRAIGHT in the underground! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo. |
| “ | ...I'm still driven nutso. | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo revealing that staying sane was starting to become difficult for him. |
| “ | Pomni: Hell monkey, boy! Kaufmo: *farts harshly* ...Did I just s(boink!)t my pants again?! I don't know why I keep doing this! |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo. |
| “ | Pomni: Kinger! Jackson: Yay Kinger! Kaufmo: Is it spiritually safe in here again!? Purple: What does that even mean? Kaufmo: I hope I don't get cursed again like I was last night! Jackson: ...What? |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo. |
| “ | Kaufmo: What the? Unidentified person: It's a puzzle. Kaufmo: It-It is a puzzle but uhm, is this to fix the brain? If it is, then I'm, not gonna yell about it. |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo as he sees two jigsaw puzzle pieces. |
| “ | Purple: Are you existing? Are you alive? Kaufmo: Sometimes my brain asks me questions everyday. Purple: Your brain? Kaufmo: Yes. Purple: What does it say? Kaufmo: Apparently, it kind of asks me about my life decisions. The other one is, the other one is: what the ahyuck do I even stand for sometimes? And the third one? I lose count of what, significance that's supposed to bring. What psychological significance is my brain trying to tell me for the fourth THING!? Purple: Bruh. Kaufmo: I have a hitch-hikers thumb. Purple: You want to know what cures that? Some sigma will fix it. Kaufmo: When you say sigma uh, you don't mean ligma do you? You don't mean that. Purple: It's a discretion. Kaufmo: Good, if that's the one you're talking about, then okay! |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo telling Purple what his brain tells him everyday, revealing how he overthinks when he has an intense existential crisis and how usually overwhelmed by the philosophical weight of his own questions in "JigSaw Highlights of July 26th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | But I'm gonna practice balancing my life through here. Well I sh- Well I, that was crap! I'm gonna try this again. | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo beginning his path to balancing his life in "JigSaw Highlights of July 26th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Kaufmo: Okay... Gawrsh, I'm surprised I'm not falling again. Pomni: I'm surprised you haven't abstracted. Kaufmo: Pomni did you know I have the power to control my abstraction?? ...So if I abstract, I can unabstract!!! Now you know! |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo to Pomni. |
| “ | Purple: You got this big guy. Kaufmo: Gawrsh that's one of my life decisions I'm balancing, there's like, there's like, FIVE more I have to mentally compare- prioritize with this. Purple: You don't have to. Kaufmo: No at this point I HAVE to I gotta learn some self-control, if I don't learn self-control I become a, weirdo. |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo's motive to learn self-control in "JigSaw Highlights of July 26th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Kaufmo: Gawrsh. Jackson: You got this Kaufy. Kaufmo: Okay mentally, no swearing, no weird s(boink!)t, I'm just gonna like- okay well I broke one of them but that's not the point! No weird crap, no bad stuff. Pomni: You're allowed to swear! Kaufmo: I am? Well Caine, ruined my ability cause he's kind of a cuck a little bit. |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo still not liking that Caine made him censored. |
| “ | Kaufmo: Wait, oh you can go through there? Purple: Yeah you can go through there. Kaufmo: How did I not know that this was Big Rigs logic? Oh my goodness. Purple: *laughs* |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo referencing Big Rigs Over the Road Racing. |
| “ | Exactly! Exactly! That's something I should tell my demons, the more I know. | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo. |
| “ | If I can fight this, I can fight the dark side of the web! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo while slacklining to fix himself and balancing himself. |
| “ | The last one, the last one, I can finally get these demons out of my head! Let's do this. | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo. |
| “ | Kaufmo: Alright, alright touch the wall. *Kisses wall* Kissing the wall just to, show I-I love Jesus. *stammers* I'm not debased, lets see here. So I can, I can purify myself when I need to. Kinger: Purify yourself, Kaufmo? Kaufmo: YES! FINALLY! I finally feel less terrible about myself now! Awesome!! |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo's way to complete his silly kind of self-therapy through self-comfort and salvation in "JigSaw Highlights of July 26th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | I was trying to, fix my mentality and my, my moral sacred! That's all I was trying to do in the form of, I dunno that thing you do in the circus I forgot the name. | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo admitting he was trying to fix himself through slack lining. |
| “ | Kaufmo: Are they? I was in the dark last night and finally uh, feel free again. Kinger: What the f(boink!) Kaufmo? Kaufmo: I can finally liberate myself again. Random person: Again like I said, I stopped questioning him a long time ago. |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo's response to people telling Kaufmo he forgot that Kinger's brain doesn't work unless he's in the dark. |
| “ | Kaufmo: Well, time to eat these. Let me see here, lemme check these little pieces. *bite* It DOES taste like a ham sandwich I'm gonna put this back, but this one? Kinger: Ham what? Kaufmo: This one tastes like spinach you can take this one back. Kinger: Why didn't you tell ME Kaufmo? I wanted some! Kaufmo, feigns cluelessness: Well there's two, they're right here! I'm pointing to the two of them that taste the most delicious I dunno. Kinger: ... *chuckles* Oh you meant the pieces okay. Kaufmo: *snickers* Yeah I was, if it were actual sandwiches, I'd be yelling like there's no tomorrow! |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo trying to eat two jigsaw pieces, tricking Kinger into thinking Kaufmo was eating sandwiches before revealing what it is, and Kaufmo appears to long to eat sandwiches. |
| “ | What?! Why did I- So am I EVIL again!? I just tried to redeem myself! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo after people said and agreed that Kaufmo predicted the terrorist attack in episode 6 of TADC. |
| “ | Again I feel less paranoid around you Jerry. | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo to his plush doll Jerry the Leopard. |
| “ | Even if Caine forces me to go back to the circus, I will remember- I will not forget you, Jerry! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo. |
| “ | Kaufmo: You think so? You really think so my- I, I'm not a weirdo? Uh... I don't offend people, I don't? I'm not, stupid? Kinger: Kaufmo! Burger? Kaufmo: At least just once, my pal Kinger. |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo venting to Jerry. |
| “ | Jackson: Okay Kaufmo what's actually wrong with you? Are you okay buddy? Kaufmo: No! I, I was with my comfort animal that literally, eh- he's my one person, my ONE person I can talk about anything with without feeling like an idiot for it. I'm trying to find him, right now. Jackson: It's okay Buster Brown, you'll find 'em. |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo. |
| “ | Kaufmo: Ok. Purple: He might, have moved again. Kaufmo: YOU are doing this on purpose when I need to vent. Purple: I'm not doing anything. Kaufmo: Why- Why are you doing this with sadistic pleasures!? I'm just trying to find the one person, who I can talk to about anything! Pomni: What's wrong Kaufmo? Kaufmo: Cuz all of my therapists kind of like y'know ditched me I'm trying to find this one thing, that, psychologically, connected? Pomni: What- *stutters:* Are you genuinely, you genuinely needing to talk about something? Kaufmo: YES! That's why I'm trying to find, Jerry! Pomni: ...Wha who? Kaufmo: Jerry the, my leopard, my comfort animal, literally a stuffed animal. Pomni: Ohhh! Jackson: Ohhh that! Purple: I keep taking it from him and, and I keep hiding from him!~ Kaufmo: Because she likes playing with my emotions! I need to FIND, Jerry! |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo. |
| “ | Wha- JERRY! Give me back Jerry! Give it back to me!! GIVE IT BACK!!!! ...I need him, please stop torturing my emotions I need him! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo to Pomni and her friends making him chase for his leopard plush doll. |
| “ | Kaufmo: You- oh my GOD why do keep doing this to my emotions!?! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo in response to Purple taking his toy again. |
| “ | Kaufmo: I don't know WHY you people find this hilarious. But, but ngh! Okay, okay you force me to, get giant and crush people with my goofy fingers, I will do it! Purple: Hi Kaufmo. Jackson: Hi Kaufuccino. Purple: You're really big. Kaufmo: You, you mess with Jerry again and these are gonna not be so soft on you, whoever messes with my boy Jerry. Jackson: You can like put a little more weight cuz you're big a big boy. Kaufmo: Quite literally it's not even time for a fat joke Jackson! |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo's to PurpleLady in "JigSaw Highlights of July 26th's Shenanigans". |
| “ | Purple: I dunno if Jerry wants to be with you. Kaufmo: He does, he mentally, he's there for me, he doesn't have ANY hatred towards me, literally he's for me! ...Literally! Purple: He must have hatred towards you. Kaufmo: He does not! You are, you're gaslighting me, putting words in my mouth, that is not true whatsoever! I am trying to find my boy Jerry. Purple: What?! When did I ever say that? |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo counterarguing with Purple's lies. |
| “ | Purple: Did you find him yet? Kaufmo: ...I'm not even gonna say anything, I'm not even gonna say ANYTHING. Purple: *laughs* |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo's response to Purple screwing with him for a laugh. |
| “ | I really need a 'prosperity' now, this is between ME and MY leopard. | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo. |
| “ | Purple: You okay over there? Kaufmo: ...I am doing as fine as I mentally can, thank you for asking? Purple: Did you find him? Kaufmo: Y- I have and I'm just getting a moment, why do you ask? Purple: Cause I was.... Cause I was wondering. Kaufmo: Okay. Okay.... Oh yeah that part but okay. |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo responding to Purple while he was interrupted in his moment with Jerry in "JigSaw Highlights of July 26th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Purple: Are you good? *chuckles* Like? Kaufmo ...I am as good as I- good can be, that's all I'll tell you. Bud. That's all I'll tell you. Purple: You can say a lot of that wasn't my fault. Kaufmo: ..Okay, I'm gonna keep my temperament, in control, okay. Purple: Do you want to yell at me? Kaufmo: No I do not, because that would be immature and childish of me, that's absolutely NOT what I'm gonna do to you. Purple: *chuckles* Why not yell at me? Kaufmo: I know better than this, I don't- I- I shouldn't yell at you, I shouldn't blame it on other people, that's not my place and business, it's on me. It's on me, I gotta be honest. I'm- Purple: You should look and see if it's still there. Kaufmo: I think I'll be good thank you for asking. Purple: If it's not there then it's not my fault cause I saw it zoom past my screen, so it was not my fault this time someone moved it. Kaufmo: Understood. Purple: Yeah it's right here I don't know who tried to take it. |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo's most honorable response he civilly gives to Purple trying to get him mad at her with her teasing and taking his comfort doll in "JigSaw Highlights of July 26th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Remember the last time my cat looked at me like this, hugged me when I was sad, whenever I'm upset, whenever I had a bad day. Where I have I felt awful, I remember that same look, my cat gave me. C'mere. | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo venting to his plush doll, longing for his pet cat. |
| “ | Does the world like to mess WITH MY EMOTIONS?!?! I have given too much mercy, too much mercy! I've been too much of a nice guy, I've been too much of a, y'know what! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo's villainous breakdown. |
| “ | Uh Sun, is it true that you have more uh, butt charisma? I mean look at me and look at you... I'm just saying. | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo to Sun. |
| “ | The Sun is pretty, at the same time, I'm just saying that as a general compliment, at the same time I'm trying to be nice for the sake of it, and to mean it. | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo to Sun, making her blush. |
| “ | Well, that was my attempt at rizz... *scoffs* But uh, but uh Jerry, I'm glad nothing BAD happened to you. | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo in response to his comment on how hot the Sun was that his hand went flaming red from a high five in "JigSaw Highlights of July 26th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | And also Jerry? You are my, I salute to you Jerry... God bless the people we NEED, there we go. God bless you all, all of you! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo's send off line to the viewers in "JigSaw Highlights of July 26th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | A joke I have uh, 'if you like the Sun so much why don't you DATE it?' | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo's attempt at a joke to amuse a queen in "Royally Insane Highlights of August 3rd's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Uhm... I mean, 'who do you go to when you want a can with Popeye in it? A can of WHOOP ASS!' | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo's second attempt at a joke to amuse a queen in "Royally Insane Highlights of August 3rd's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | That was a delicious emoji! Can I get more of those emojis! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo after Pomni was dwelling on death. |
| “ | Pomni: *swears* Jackson: FIINE! Here's some candy want some candy? Kaufmo: It's not even Halloween but YAY candy! Lady: That's like 3 years out of date. Kaufmo: Well good thing I didn't eat it! I would've been poisoned to death! |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo. |
| “ | Kaufmo: That's my secret weapon, I'm gonna make you die of cringe Jackson! *stammers* And I'm gonna- I'm gonna report it to the kingdom! Jackson, horrified: No! Kaufmo: Mahahahahaha!!! Jackson: At least it's not corn. at least it's not corn. Pomni: Kaufmo! |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo to a moon named Jackson in "Royally Insane Highlights of August 3rd's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Oh! Wait a minute, Jackson do I see corn your uh ears? ...Mahahahahahah!!! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo tormenting Jackson with his fear of corn. |
| “ | Pomni: We have a TV in here- Kaufmo: Oh, a TV!? Hold on lemme just turn on the button for it honestly where's the button for this? ...Oh wait that wasn't the button! RUN!! *wheezing:* Run run! Run b(boink!)ches! Run! RUN! *laughs while running* |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo's curiosity being how he and Pomni find the way out of a cage. |
| “ | GAWRSH! I'm gonna make a goofy dump and crap on the kingdom's castle! You'll never stop me!! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo during a chase scene in "Royally Insane Highlights of August 3rd's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Oh wait I can't die but I'm gonna run aways. | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo enjoying the chase. |
| “ | Ah gawrsh I, I'm gonna get my balls sliced in half I gotta run!!! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo in "Royally Insane Highlights of August 3rd's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | The one thing I've always wanted to do! I got two words for you, you ahyuckers... GOOFY SLAMMAH!!!!!!!!!!! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo in "Royally Insane Highlights of August 3rd's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | I know, let's squish our fatasses in there! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo to Pomni in a chase scene in "Royally Insane Highlights of August 3rd's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | I know! ...It was worth a kiss I dunno! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo's response to Pomni's panicking and kissing during the situation they're trying to find their way out. |
| “ | Oh wait, wait, oh yeah! Lemme use my giant goofy fingers for one purpose! *wheezes* Crushes *wheezes* There goes your spine! Aha! And uh, you ahyuckers! Time to crush you and your- your spines, excluding you Jackson I'm gonna crush your spines too! Jackson: Kaufmo- Ah! Kaufmo: *chuckles* |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo. |
| “ | Kaufmo: *laughs* We did it Pomni! The joke's on them ahyuckers!! Pomni: Yeah! They're the fools! |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo and Pomni. |
| “ | Kaufmo: I like the bees, I like Bee Movie remember? Lady: You're a bee. Kaufmo: No I'm not, I may be yellow but I got no stinger on my ass! Lady: You're a big B for b(boink!)ch. Kaufmo: ...I see what you did there that was good. |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo. |
| “ | Kinger: Alright alright get your ass, in there. Kaufmo: ...At least I crushed Jax's skull and, spine! |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo being thrown into a portal by a disguised Kinger. |
| “ | Kaufmo: Do the dishes Jackson! Jax: You know... I'm going full women's mode, hold on. Kaufmo: And when you do, make me a sandwich with some PB&Js, and some baloney, and my cranberry juice shall be in this! |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo to Maid Jax. |
| “ | Jax: If you see this over here, if you come over here. Kaufmo: How stupid do you think I am Jackson!? Make me a sandwich! Jax: Fine I will! I will make your god(boink!)n sandwich. I'll make you a GOD(boink!)N sandwich! Kaufmo: *chuckles* Good! That's how this man dominates this place! |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo not falling for Jax's trick. |
| “ | Ah yeah, thanks for the knuckle sandwich Jackson! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo to Maid Jax in "Royally Insane Highlights of August 3rd's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Well Jax jumped himself look at this. | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo regarding a distorted Jax in "Royally Insane Highlights of August 3rd's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Kaufmo: Oh hi, howya doing? Person: Hi, I'm dying. Kaufmo: Oh you are? Pomni's right there, join the party! Person, amused: Well that's great! |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo to a random person in "Royally Insane Highlights of August 3rd's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Kaufmo: Oh even better a table of cocaine, I'm gonna face away from everybody so nobody takes pictures of my butt. Let's do this, let's let's go over here let's do this! Let's do this! C'mon! More cocaine! MORE cocaine, let's do this! *sniffs* ...A SPIDER WEB OF COCAINE! Pomni bummed: No I had a opportunityyyy! Awwww! Kaufmo: No don't even try Pomni I'm trying to get HIGH again *sniffs it* Pomni: *laughs brokenly* Kaufmo: GAAAAAAWWWWWRSH!! |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo while getting high in "Royally Insane Highlights of August 3rd's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Kaufmo: Don't worry don't worry I'm getting more of this so we can get high together. Nobody will stop us from getting high again. Pomni, excited: *chuckles* Time to get high! Kaufmo: Yes Pomni, now you read my mind! |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo to Pomni in "Royally Insane Highlights of August 3rd's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Ragatha: Why are you guys doing lines? Kaufmo: I'm trying to y'know uh cure myself uh Ragatha, I've seen too much s(bonk!)t of this world I need to fix my mentality with, with cocaine and paint. |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo explaining to Ragatha why he takes cocaine in "Royally Insane Highlights of August 3rd's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Yeah, a dookie is different from a "pookie", what the heck is Pomni on about? | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo's response to Dr. Mario calling him a dookie after Pomni calls Kaufmo "pookie". |
| “ | Pomni smitten: *giggles* Hi my beautiful BOOY! Kaufmo stunned: "Beautiful"? I'm beautiful?! Manager Gangle: Pomni, stop messing with the customers. Kaufmo: Customers? Wait we're not in the restraunt. Pomni: *clears throat.* Dr. Mario: *chuckles* What the f(boink!)k is this? Kaufmo: We're not in the restaurant. Dr. Mario: Why is, why is it the baby from Monsters Inc- uhm nononono wait Ice Age 1, in Mike Wazowski? What the f(bonk)k? Kaufmo: Because the internet is kind of weird Dr. Mario. *turns to Pomni:* Pomni, y-y-you think I'm, the goofy fatass like, heavyset person, you think I'm beautiful? Pomni: *giggles drunkenly:* So beautiful. *giggles and murmurs before throwing up* Kaufmo shocked: Oh! ...Well that happened! |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo in "Irregular Highlights of August 7th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Pomni drunken: I just love you so much I'm sorry. Kaufmo: You love me? Pomni drunken: *giggles* Yeah! Kaufmo: I am SHOCKED Pomni I, it's it's kind of interesting Pomni because I've always seen us as friends and stuff like friends who do s(boink)t shenanigans and s(boink)t? I- I- I never- Pomni drunken: No... I see you as more than a friend yeah I see you as more than a friend. |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo's response to Pomni in "Irregular Highlights of August 7th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Kaufmo: Uhm, they do their thing, I'm gonna try to understand you and your eh uhm MENTALITY a little better Pomni, I'm still, taken back by your news, cuz Ragatha hadn't said s(boink!)t but you? You've said things before anybody else did. Pomni: *stammers cutely* Kaufmo: Again I'm still surprised. So! You love me like THAT way, do you, jester lady? Pomni nods: Mmhm. Kaufmo: And, this ain't a joke this ain't a prank this ain't set up for a, uh Goofy dump joke or something, or a butt joke. Pomni: No I'm not joking.~ |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo to Pomni in "Irregular Highlights of August 7th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Pomni: *shushes* Don't tell anyone that I pooped! Don't tell anyone that I pooped! Kaufmo: I won't, I'm not, uhhh I'm not gonna tell on anybody Pomni, I'm just saying we can get to class and then like after class, which is over there I, I GUESS I can start seeing you in a different light than I intitally did, I guess. Pomni: You still love me right? *whimpers* Kaufmo: I, I hate to see uh a jester lady be left out after all the silly goofy times we usually have. Pomni: *whimpers* Kaufmo: But I will say this though, Pomni, it makes sense why you kissed me during the uh, remember that castle evemt we were running from that. that giant uh, that explains why, that kind of explains why you kissed me like that, that explains a lot now. Pomni: Please please hide this from me! Just don't tell them I pooped! Don't tell them that I- Kaufmo: I won't tell anyone I promise. Pomni: *whimpers* Okay. Shadow: You better get to class. 'Kaufmo: Don't worry, we were cleaning up the mud, we were just cleaning up some mud. Pomni: *whimpers in embarrassment* Shadow: Class starts over there. Kaufmo: Uh wait Pomni! I'm going to class uh- okay uh I'm following you to class now so you don't shoot my brains out. |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo with Pomni in "Irregular Highlights of August 7th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | I'mma, I'mma turning RED again! And it's been a while since that's happened! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo's response to Pomni kissing him on the forehead and solidifying their secret romantic relationship in "Irregular Highlights of August 7th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Goofy Dumpers bro! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo's victory call in "Looney Highlights of August 9th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Kinger: Do you want me to shoot the fat kid? Kaufmo: *wheezes* SHOOT THE HAMBURGER!!!! |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo regarding Kinger being willing to shoot Eric Cartman who Kaufmo calls a "hamburger" in "Looney Highlights of August 9th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Kinger's not an idiot! How dumb do you think he is Eric!? | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo asking Eric Cartman how low does he think of Kinger to think he'd be easily fooled in "Looney Highlights of August 9th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Cartman, jumping: Spudsys help I think I'm too small! Kaufmo: You- yoou pretty much ARE you're like a hamburger. Kinger: Yeah no kidding my dude. Random guy: Yeah yeah he does. Cartman: Are you making FUN of me dude!? Kaufmo: *laughs:* You kind of look like one! Cartman: I'll SUE you! I'm worth five billion dollars! Kinger: You fatass! Cartman: I'm not fat I'm big-boned you guys are mean! Kaufmo: I mean, he is heavyset but okay. Zooble: Don't worry 'bout it. Cartman: How do I click the button? How do I go to, to Fancies or whatever the name? Kaufmo: Uhm, get a stool maybe? I don't know!~ *wheezes* |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo calling Eric Cartman a hamburger in "Looney Highlights of August 9th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Oh yes, my favorite television, that looks just like a oven! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo to Gangle's TV in "Looney Highlights of August 9th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Wood man: I have a knife in your face. Kaufmo: I like knife! *eats it* It's DELICIOUS! Hahah! *wheezes* Now I'm gonna take a Goofy Dump and, the knife will be BRONZE! It won't be silver anymore it'll be BRONZE! Wood man: ...Yup. Kaufmo: When it comes out of course. *wheezes* |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo in "Looney Highlights of August 9th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Jackson! This is the LAST time you're ruining diets again! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo to Jax in "Looney Highlights of August 9th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Kinger we got some game to go on the rabbit: Rabbit Season. | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo conspirating with Kinger in "Looney Highlights of August 9th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Ah I'll never- I'll never trust Caine again with that, that formula again! ...Oh Jesus it smells, dah it smells even worse than rotten eggs, agh it smells worse than a swamp bruh, oh my god I got swamp butt. Why does- What does Pomni see in me anyways? GAWWWWWWRSH!!! Uh jesus! Oh, Jesus! Uh, *grunts* oh-ho! Jesus! That was quite the disaster. Ugh! Uh, I'm glad nobody saw that. Huh? Jesus! Oh! Bruh. Jesus, my legs are just kind of limpy after that disaster bro. | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo taking a big dump and farting a lot as a result of trusting Caine's botched drink Caine gave Kaufmo that caused him to have diaherra in "Looney Highlights of August 9th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Kaufmo: GOOD JOB Pomni! I'm glad you did that! I'm high fiving you for that my dear my dear Pomni! I'm high fiving you for this one. You did good my dear you did GOOD! Pomni, sing-song tone: Yeah s(doing!)ting in the stage!~ S(doing!)ting in the stage!~ Kaufmo: YES! Good job Pomni! We HAD to get him back for what he put in my drink in the bar, that's why I made that dump Pomni: First I crushed his sandcastle, and then I pooped on the stage. (laughter) Kaufmo amused, to Caine: Ah, oh I hope you love that diabolical MESS we left for you! It was a good smell wasn't it Caine-O!? Ahyuck! Nyehehehah! Caine: Kaufmo? Kaufmo, chuckling evilly: Nyeahahahah!? Caine: ...I have you under my control, follow me. Kaufmo, unaffected: Since when!? What if I REBEL? ...*snickers* He won't figure it out. |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo with Pomni in "Looney Highlights of August 9th's Shenanigans of 2025" |
| “ | Pomni: Kaufmo Kaufmo this way. Kaufmo: I'm gonna make him think he's in control but I'm just, *snickers* I just refused. Pomni: *snickers* Caine: I had you under my control c'mon- Kaufmo: HAH! Gotcha! I refused your commands, Caine-O! *wheezes* Caine: Kaufmo. Kaufmo: I refused your commandos I'm rebellious now I'mma gonna poke your hat, I'm gonna poke your eyeballs! And then pull this, uh bow-tie. Boom! It went back to your sh- your little uh, suit! |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo teasing Caine for his botched attempt at mind-controling Kaufmo in "Looney Highlights of August 9th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Caine, offended: You... You touched my bow-tie? Kaufmo: Yeah I did. Caine: You touched my bow-tie? Kaufmo: YEAH I DID. Henyeheheheheheh!!!! Pomni to Caine: I took it off too. Caine: Pomni? Can you do me a favor and take Kaufmo to the hole? |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo in "Looney Highlights of August 9th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Kaufmo: That's not the Goofy Pits, that's the, that's the Gloink hole!~ Pomni: I'm sorry Kaufmo, I have to do this. Kaufmo: I-I mean I know... *gets pushed* Pomni I'll think about you! |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo getting pushed into the Gloink cave in "Looney Highlights of August 9th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | There's a esculator I'm not sure what, deadly punishment this was supposed to be I mean look! Caine thought this was a good punishment? BRUH this didn't teach nuthin, this taught me that rules can be easily bended. | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo regarding the effect of Caine's plan of punishment in "Looney Highlights of August 9th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | I'm not sure what Caine intended but uh, it didn't puni- it didn't do anything serious bruh... He's a joke he's a, he's a cuck! He's he's a joke! Well, time to go to school!! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo telling Kinger about what happened in "Looney Highlights of August 9th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | HOh, my butt itches- Huh? | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo before listening to Pomni's intro as a classmate in "Looney Highlights of August 9th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Kinger: Alright you can sit back down Pomni, Kaufmo come up here and introduce yourself- Kaufmo: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWRSH!!!!! Okay I'm up. Kinger: Introduce yourself. |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo being called up in "Looney Highlights of August 9th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Hello motherahyuckers! It's good 'ol Kaufmo, the-the king of disastrous, dumps and y'know! Butt-itching powers bruh, it was the BEST, of this classroom bruh! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo's introduction as a classmate. |
| “ | Kinger: Kaufmo language, and also please sit back down, and NOW! Ming, You may come up in front- Kaufmo: Dump is a swear? Kinger: ...Okay you go sit back down, also Ming, come up here and introduce yourself. Pomni: Dump dump dump dump dump dump! Kaufmo: Dumpy!~ |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo in "Looney Highlights of August 9th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Appreciate the kisses Pomni! Mahahaha! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo to Pomni in "Looney Highlights of August 9th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | Ming: Ah but I didn't even get to introduce myself. F(boink) you guys! F(boink) you didn't even let me uhm, say my name I'm gonna ignore you guys. Pomni, teasing: *blows raspberry* Peepee smelling! Smelly and peepee smelling and peepee smelling and peepee smelling and *chuckles* Kaufmo: *laughs* Ming, embittered: Says the one about your boyfriend huh? I heard about your boyfriend. Pomni: Okay but like I got a new one *chuckling* Kaufmo: *snickers* Exactly, exactly. Pomni: *chuckles* I was just a side chick, I was a side chick. Kaufmo: Ah side chick. Ming: So you're cheating on the uh Gummi guy I just talked to him he was quite depressed. Pomni: *shushes* Don't tell 'em. Kaufmo: Exactly. Ming: I might tell 'em, I might tell him. Pomni: Hey hey hey okay don't tell him. Kaufmo: I'm gonna get my flamethrower if you do, and I keep it in my nuclear arsenal! Pomni: *laughs* |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo to Ming with Pomni in "Looney Highlights of August 9th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | D(ahoooooooga!)mn! D(boink!)n Gummigoo! I didn't know you have such uh, charisma like that! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo's way of addressing Gummigoo's way of hitting on ladies putting his lips on a woman's face once this lady called Gummigoo 'kindly dinner's in "Wild Westing Highlights of August 10th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | He's just living the jokes bro I appreciate it! *salutes* | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo to Gummigoo when the latter was playing along with the roasts Gummigoo was given like looking like a drag show character. |
| “ | '"Lady: Your mouth looks like a hot dog. Kaufmo: I know, that's not even an insult that's a fact! That's a fact! FAIL! Gummigoo: Damn. Kaufmo:' That's a fact bruh, that's not a insult that's a fact! Gummigoo: At least you admit it. |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo to a lady trying to roast him. |
| “ | Caine, exasperated: I'm DRIVING here! Guys, come on! Give me some, credit! Sheesh! Kaufmo: My legs would give credit but they're dead, they can't respond anymore. Caine: Your loss Kaufmo! Not mine! Not my problem. |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo's response to Caine wanting credit for driving. |
| “ | Burn him ALIVE like roasted turkey bro! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo to an FBI agent regarding his plan to take down Caine while Caine was driving in "Wild Westing Highlights of August 10th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | I'm going to make sure I give you a face. | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo roasting Caine for his attempt at a retort in "Wild Westing Highlights of August 10th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | You'll never escape the wrath of Kaufmo! The one who can destroy s(boink)t! | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo to Caine saying how the latter was annoyed by Kaufmo roasting him by saying he'd take his dentures head and turn it into the windup teeth toy. |
| “ | Kaufmo: Wait, wait your eyeballs are facing backwards. Caine: Well I can see where I'm going. Kaufmo: Your eyes are facing backwards! Your pupils are shooting backwards! *wheezes* They they were, they were shooting backwards. Caine: Oh boy, why is it like this? Kaufmo: Now it's- Now it's straight bro, n-now it's straight. *snickers and begins laughing at Caine* Caine: It's stuck. AGAIN. Alright, another teleportation. Kaufmo: Now they're looking forward bruh, *wheezes* but it's so funny because, your eyes were like dilated. Caine: I was looking at everyone behind, that's why I was driving I was looking behind you when you were going. Anyway bye! It was nice knowing ya! |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo distracting Caine when he was driving, got the truck Caine was driving stuck and played Caine like a fool out of mischief. |
| “ | Kaufmo: GAWRSH! Well Pomni did say that she has two boyfriends now. Pomni: *chuckles* Gummigoo: What? |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo to Pomni and Gummigoo. |
| “ | Hmmm well, after the last time- I dunno the last time I've seen this sort of shit. Uh, like I've always said in high school; go it slow and go with the flow. Do it like a, don't jump into it like a jet ski, go like a wave. And, y'know, when you get to know somebody, you know ask them who they are, try to get to know them, y'know save the personal questions for later but mainly just, ask them basic stuff, really. And see where you're interested- and to see if you two connect or something like that. 'Gangle: *stutters* Yeah, right, yeah thank you for the advice. "Kaufmo: Of course this works every time. |
„ |
| ~ Kaufmo's advice about dating that he gives Gangle. |
| “ | *scats* 🎶I like to fry my ass!🎶 *scats* | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo in "Highlights of July 25th's Shenanigans of 2025". |
| “ | 🎶Spider Kaufmo! Spider Kaufmo! He's your friendly neighborhood Kaufmo! Safety door? Swings ignored! Look out! It's the Spider Kaufmo! Bow bow bow!! That way he sees the criminals at night, he kicks their asses, cuz you know, he's just that, amazing cuz you know, it's Spider Kaufmo!!! He's got pictures and s(bonk!)it, he gets Ragatha all the time, Pomni chases him for some reason, I dunno why! Because it's you know who! The Spider Kaufmo Man!🎶 | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo's first verse of "Spider Kaufmo". |
| “ | 🎶Spider Kaufmo! Spider Kaufmo! He gets b(bonk)ches and goes places! He's gonna do some s(bonk)it, and burn houses! Cuz that's, you know, the Spider Kaufmo! What! What! What!🎶 | „ |
| ~ Kaufmo's second verse of "Spider Kaufmo". |
Episodes[]
The Oddball Digital Shenanigans; Best Moments of July 3rd's Shenanigans of 2025
On July 3rd, he is first shown to be making quips about carousels while he was happy and enjoying to have a piggy back ride with a mannequin, and he expressed enjoyment for anime woman which he called "anime babes", which scared off the lady and the mannequin disapproved and restricted him the privilege to get a piggy back ride, Kaufmo excused this as him liking "anime titties" and the fact he likes women and deflected a moment of Kinger reprimanding him by admitting this is why he allows Ragatha to take pictures of his butt, thus causing people to laugh. After trying to choke Jax for telling Caine a secret just right after Pomni shows a picture of Kaufmo's butt, he makes jokes about him taking dumps with his "goofer pooper". He, alongside Pomni, is shown to pull childish pranks on Caine and Jax, especially making jokes about Caine making a massive "Caine dump". Once he sees a picture of him bending over and his butt sticking up, Kaufmo points out how many times the picture is shown and Jax asks if Kaufmo knew his butt is deflated, Kaufmo is keen on the fact, is also confused on why Ragatha wants pictures of his butt before making a masturbation joke as his answer as to why she wants pictures of his butt so much that shocked and embarrassed everyone with a disgruntled Jax being envious of Kaufmo making jokes that Jax wasn't allowed to do (Kinger didn't get it the first time and when Kaufmo tells him what he said, Kinger is embarrassed by that). Kaufmo is then running away from a spinning Pomni and jumped into the "Goofy Pits".
He has no shame at the fact he took a "Kaufmo Dump" on the ground, and told Pomni because there's Goofy Dumps and now Kaufmo dumps, when Pomni said Kaufmo shouldn't poop on the ground after saying that it happens, Kaufmo then says that was his poop rug since that's his hobby (which Pomni told him to use the restroom instead).
He shows to enjoy being choked by Ragatha and jokingly said he wanted her to do it even harder.
He was about to high-five Gangle for her first blooper and almost called her Zooble by accident, when he's questioned by Caine for this, he said he had a mental lapse and a "brainfart" that was smelly as his excuse.
He yelled at Kinger and Pomni acting like "terrorists" and told them to get down during a scene with recreating the TADC pilot where Jax asks to get something to eat. After Kaufmo was being so sarcastic and telling a shooter was being "funny" about his Kaufmo's fat butt being a target to shoot, he joins a ride with Ragatha and when she got him falling into a hole, he commends her for breaking his spine and bones. When he saw Ragatha hovering, Kaufmo asks Kinger if he remembered when there was a joke on Kaufmo in a bent-over position looked similar to a piñata, Ragatha looked scared and Kaufmo reassured her that he wouldn't hit her. He avoids having his fingers bit by Jax by outmaneuvering him and boasts about avoiding a finger punishment to Kinger with relief. After falling from tall heights, he talks to a cat before Kaufmo said how this was his life to speak to cats in the afterlife, and tried reading a spellbook while telling Jax he likes reading before joking about tentacle fantasies and lies about his love for fantasies by saying that he was instead talking about daddy long leg spiders before messing with Jax's ears and cracking a joke about the "Mirror Moon" spell being a possible way for the Moon to finally get with Caine and Caine would get her "moon p*ssy" as a joke, which shocked Jax and Kaufmo admits to being a jokester.
Kinger and Kaufmo are then seen driving and breaking through the floor and map while driving in a cart, and once they went through a blue floor, Kaufmo was cheerful about it. After being happy about it, he was surprised at Jax moving like he was going to kiss Kaufmo, that of which Kaufmo joked about it and was laughing a lot about it, much to Kinger's befuddlement and Jax's embarrassment.
Once Pomni with a penguin and a lady see where Kaufmo, Kinger and Jax were, Kaufmo tells the penguin and a lady how the void was beautiful blue and penguin reveals to be a doctor, which made Kaufmo ask how much does King Dedede weigh, to of which the penguin couldn't answer as a rule, and once the penguin acts random, Kaufmo questioned the penguin's status as a doctor.
Kaufmo was seeking for attention by saying how he was so excited for more stories that he possibly heard about, which made him jump a lot and exclaim how him jumping up and down made his ball sack that he calls his "goofy balls" bounce off the air; which he said out of amusement, which Pomni saw him as cute in a way she didn't expect, and Jax can't seem to deal with Kaufmo's crazy jokes sometimes. He told everyone about his three balls hanging on his clown outfit, and Pomni said she has two on hers, which Kaufmo retorts by saying he has three before jokingly flipping her off (which made her laugh), and Kaufmo saying this again by saying he has three buttons once Jax said he had two buttons; Jax said it was weird and Kaufmo said how he's built different. When Pomni questioned his balls, Kaufmo's reasoning was "balling like that basketball game". The penguin inspects his groin which Kaufmo head pats it during inspection before the penguin said Kaufmo has chlamydia, which Kaufmo was baffled to find out the diagnosis before Pomni jokes about how Kaufmo (and Queenie) abstracting was a result of chlamydia.
Pomni saved me from abstracting on July 5th 2025
The second time we see him on July 5th is chilling in a cart, he questions why Pomni wanted him to kill Zooble, and Pomni ends up saving him from his terrible fate with falling into an abstraction hole Zooble was about to set up.
The Highlights of July 5th's Shenanigans of 2025
Later the same day, he is involved in a Truth or Dare adventure alongside Caine, Pomni, Jax, Gangle, Kinger, Zooble and Dibby. He was first poked fun at by Jax for being bald, to of which Kaufmo had took in stride and instead asked what the point of the dare was to begin with to get back on track, and as soon as Jax began meowing as part of the dare, Kaufmo wanted to off himself from even hearing Jax meow in his ear. He does his goofy dance before Caine in a robot monotone voice tells Kaufmo did enough humping for one day before Kinger told him to sit down, which Kaufmo remarks on the fact it was the dance itself that made Kinger want him to stop his dare for dancing until the dare was over. He was seen laughing and making fun of a drawing sticker that has Pomni and Caine under bed sheets with Pomni holding a cigar while telling Pomni what she was looking at. He receives a hug from Pomni as a dare.
Once Ragatha had arrived in the adventure and comments on the fact she took awareness of Kaufmo's subtle masturbation joke he made about her, Kaufmo teases her about it by saying he didn't expect her to partake in such a sensual kinky activity as if it was true, which Ragatha denied and ran away, much to Kaufmo's amusement.
He witnessed Caine speaking like Donald Duck as a dare, and saw it as impressive and funny. Pomni puts a sticker of Kaufmo's butt, which made Kaufmo ask her why she did that considering Ragatha being in the room now. Kaufmo was not amused with everyone joining in with Kinger's awkward mooing dare, and Kaufmo wanted to jump off a cliff instead, poke his eyes to no avail, and wanting Jax to slice his head off (which didn't work since nobody can die in the digital realm as something Kaufmo didn't know about). He teased everyone by pretending Jax's dare about "deception with his age" was Kaufmo's, which got everyone reacting as he intended and let's out a mischievous laugh, right before he showed his inability to read the alphabet backwards, and did the Gangnam dance (which Kaufmo hated doing and looks down in second hand embarrassment), which Jax noticed Kaufmo being bald with amusement.
Ragatha tells Kaufmo that her final wish was to kill Dibby, which Kaufmo responds affectionately by saying he'd do anything for her before kissing her forehead and right before Dibby tried to annoy Ragatha even further, which got Kaufmo into strangling her, and when Caine called Kaufmo up for his dare, he said he had to do something special for "the love of his life". Once he had a next dare, he was dared to sniff Dibby's feet and describe the smell (which nobody liked and Caine tried to make a referential joke), and he points out his lack of nose to Dibby as a reason to skip the dare while Dibby was confused, and Kaufmo chooses an different dare; pretending to be a ballerina, and Kaufmo doing the dare entertained everyone and made Pomni laugh so much to the point of tearing. He also tells Kinger that Ragatha better had watched it, which made someone act baffled by Kaufmo's response.
Untitled Highlights of July 6th's Shenanigans of 2025
He enters the McDonalds adventure and witnesses a violent scene of two bubbles fighting each other before Pomni enters. Ragatha and Jax both attempted to have Kaufmo take over their shifts even though Kaufmo doesn't work at McDonalds, and then they bicker and argue about it, much to Kaufmo's confusion.
He is then seen talking to Kinger and Gummigoo about a credit card with infinite that Kinger took.
He saw Jax trying to chase and shoot a youthful Pomni, which Kaufmo was concerned about the child compared to Jax wanting to kill her for being annoying and Kaufmo points out Jax being a murderer.
He was a customer who ordered for a chocolate milkshake with caramel, and was then inconvenienced by Bubble being an incompetent illiterate cashier, which Bubble's incompetence frustrated Kaufmo since he had money with him and was order for nothing in return.
He was then asked by Kinger to go to the men's restroom to point out Ragatha putting a cone of chocolate ice cream in a urinal, right before a bird named Gary eats it, much to Kaufmo's concern. He saw a drunken Ragatha enter the room while Jax told her to leave and Kaufmo points out it's not a unisex restroom, and seeing her jump on a sink and pose, Kaufmo points out Ragatha posing suggestively, which made her run away and Jax chases her.
Kaufmo witnessed Kinger using Gummigoo's tail as a can opener. And when the guys chilled in a empty women's restroom as somewhere less chaotic, Pomni tells everyone that Jax was trying to get ran over. Which everyone joins and Kaufmo acts competitive about getting more scoliosis than Jax.
It then cuts to him before around two bubbles and one of the bubbles, a bubble with a hat, planned to skin Kaufmo alive and thinking Kaufmo was unaware of the danger in a Murder adventure, which Kaufmo then claims to be made out of yarn and that the bubbles couldn't do anything to him even if they try, resulting in Bubble admitting he thought Kaufmo had the skin of a rubber duck. Kaufmo said he couldn't be skinned for any given reason, and Bubbles tries and fails to stab him and skin him. The bubble with the hat tried to give him dipping sauce that Kaufmo saw as stupid sauce, which made him ask why "Silly Sauce" isn't used more as a product since it's more underrated just like his own products from his former tires company "Kauf-Tire".
He is then seen taking a dump while he had the role of a citizen, and during the Murder adventure, Caine manipulated everyone into getting everyone to think Kaufmo was the bad guy when he actually wasn't, and this got Ragatha and Gummigoo entering while Kaufmo was pooping to signal an attack for Kinge to throw a grenade bomb to intoxicate, and Kinger jokes about how intense his dumping was (much to Ragatha's amusement), and Kaufmo sniffs the toxins that killed him in the adventure and then revived. Gummigoo said people thought he was the bad guy too, which Kaufmo didn't get why either. He then witnessed Gummigoo messing with Pomni's hat and stretching it.
Kaufmo then go a new role in the Murder adventure as a detective, he had trouble holding a gun and witnessed Ragatha entering the room, and Kaufmo immediately assumed she was trying to play it smooth to then take a picture of his butt once it sticks out with picking up a gun, Ragatha then denies it by saying she was just watching but now that she mentioned it she was getting her camera ready to snap a shot, which Kaufmo calls her "Goon-Atha" that Ragatha denied, and Kaufmo tries lying to Caine at the fact she wanted to take another picture immediately before Ragatha said she wasn't going to do that until he mentioned it.
Kaufmo then tries taking another dump in the same restroom and Pomni enters in, and Pomni locked him in the room, and Kaufmo tried to open the door, resulting in Ragatha slamming the door into Kaufmo, and Pomni opening the door made Kaufmo dizzy, similar to a Looney Tunes reaction's to any type of slapstick violence received to him. He shook off the dizziness and was glad to not be hit with the door again.
It cuts to him being at a bar, and he witnesses a few customers like Shadow wanting more and more drinks while a Peruvian character named Concept Man was teasing Shadow about his own Mexican pride to try strong drinks.
Kaufmo is then seen dancing in the outro.
Wild Highlights of July 18th's Shenanigans of 2025
He is greeted with Caine repeating the line "Okay Kaufmo I think that's enough humping for one day" with the robotic tone of voice from episode 3, and Kaufmo said it was needed, then to witness another butt picture of him on the ground, which Kaufmo was not surprised to see.
He asked Ragatha and Dibby if there was something they had to ask Kaufmo, and the two bicker and gaslight each other like siblings while Kaufmo tried to figure out who's the most vocal, and then Caine suddenly pops in to "dab the haters". Kaufmo expressed excitement in murdering "gooners" before being told they really weren't. Kinger tried poking Kaufmo's eyes and head and hat, then Kaufmo does the robot dance. Kaufmo happens to have a pet centipede Carl and told Jax about it, and Kaufmo told Ragatha to not kill it. Dibby eventually shows off a dance move that he was going to tell Kaufmo about, and Kaufmo high-fives him for the dance.
Jax appears to have a pink creature as his pet that Caine calls a "crossover" before a mannequin tried to spray it on it and then Kaufmo's face, and Kaufmo wanted to fight off his chlamydia with "piss in a bottle". When Caine said the mannequin shouldn't speak since it's Disappearing Man, Kaufmo points out to Caine that Zooble doesn't have a mouth before finding amusement in Caine's realization right before the mannequin sprayed Kaufmo in the eyes again.
Caine then brings up a flashback when Kaufmo accidentally confessed his feelings for Ragatha in episode 3, and Kaufmo tries to state the feelings scene for Ragatha wasn't canon since Ragatha in this series doesn't seem to reciprocate any feelings in return. Caine then asked Kaufmo why and how did Kaufmo found out any history with the Moon, and then Kaufmo said he watched Moon act frisky with him, and he managed to get search history from them with his phone, and now has both Jax and Caine's history, which Caine said it would've been better if Kaufmo abstracted because of the secrets he could keep, and sees Zooble spazzing out.
Kaufmo seeing Kyle from South Park enter the circus made Kaufmo said there better be no child molesters around in the circus or he'll beat them up, and Caine said the circus was the "Digital Park". Kaufmo witnesses Ragatha with Kyle and Daine, and Kaufmo hoped nothing too devious happens up there, Caine then said Daine was his brother and Jax said Daine was "a brother from another mother", which Kaufmo high-fives Jax for it, right before telling both Jax and Zooble of the fact by reminding him there is a minor in there, and Zooble then it'll be devious with Jax around.
Jax then takes a dose of the stupid sauce and gets high from it, and Kaufmo seemed to enjoy Jax rapping. Kaufmo then joins along Ragatha (shifting into an animal) alongside Bubble watch a video that happened a day prior on a Thursday. and wanted to expose Caine's lust for Gangle and Kinger sniffing Pomni. Kaufmo said the mannequin had a bottle of piss in order to "piss off haters". He also seemed to be embarrassed and concerned at witnessing an implication of shipping Jax and Kinger, which made Kaufmo quote Kinger when he says "Jesus Fucking Christ!". Ragatha in her disguised animal form saying she'd make a sticker of it when Kinger was plotting to harm her and Bubble out of revenge, and she teases Kinger by saying it's not canon and was going to ask Jax if it's canon, Kaufmo witnessing this made him plot a murder for their attempted shipping war and wanted to join Kinger with hunting them down for their deviance, and thought it was a scheme she and Bubble were making considering the butt pictures of Kaufmo.
He was then interrupted by a toy bear who claims to be an horse, which Kaufmo questioned it being a shapeshifting animal and asked it about what horses do before being told there's a recording going on to Kaufmo's right and gets hit by the bear. He is then licked by Bubble, which Kaufmo disapproved and questioned him since Kaufmo tasted like sandpaper, which made Jax ask how he knows what sandpaper taste like. He asked a confused Jax where the bathroom is. He then witnesses Bubble licking a butt picture of himself, which he was disturbed and told Ragatha he didn't suggest her to show Bubble this. He had to make his retreat when Bubble asked him to bend over and said he is committing self-die in the "Goofy Pits", which he was temporarily relieved until he saw Bubble with him and he hits a bowling pin to teleport himself back to the main hub as he requested.
He plots an backup plan in case Bubble stalks him again and hearing Bubble ask for Ragatha from far away and looking for her, made Kaufmo make a move to make a "secret goofy hideout" due to his own 'diabolical genius' as he calls it giving him the room for thought. He goes to a bouncy house, and seeing Bubble appearing there, made Kaufmo strategize where to go, and he ends up going to the second floor to his liking, was glad he wasn't helpless, and he chills out at a cliff while making light out of Bubble's repugnant lust for Kaufmo's butt.
He taunts his victory, boasts about his own planning and genius, calling everyone "bitches", and dances it out with his "goofy dance", his victory and moment of overconfidence remained until he spotted some of the players gaining the ability to fly, and he didn't see Bubble until later, which made him panic and jump off the cliff, landing harshly in a blue castle. He continues retreating and running away from Bubble, while also admitting he taunted too much. He ran to another section from under the map, and he outwits Bubble by telling him his ass is in the blue flooring, making him jump off the cliff as he intended, and he relishes in outsmarting him, and then panicked a bit once he saw Bubble again. Ragatha asking what happened had Kaufmo saying he wanted to avoid Bubble licking Kaufmo's butt, and Bubble said Kaufmo thought he could hide, resulting in Bubble getting stuck and needing to reset, and Kaufmo said he'd actually jump off the cliff if Bubble tries licking him again. Kaufmo seeing Bubble disappear made Kaufmo get overconfident yet again about his own genius plan to remain untouchable and hard to be found until Ragatha appears in with him and Kaufmo said Ragatha wasn't weird enough to lick his butt, which she then said Kaufmo doesn't know if she would, which made Kaufmo baffled by the implication. Kaufmo admits that in the previous episode that he was joking and wanted to see if Ragatha was real. Seeing Bubble appear out of nowhere made him panic and jump off the cliff, and Kaufmo said he needed to get out before panicking yet again about Bubble, and desperately asks for Kinger's help, resulting in being tormented by Bubble.
He then tried to go jump high onto a floating square, him undershooting the platform made him admits he didn't think his plan through enough before landing on the ground again.
With Kinger's help, they try to avoid from Bubble until Bubble joined along with them, and Kinger wanted Bubble off, Kaufmo said Bubble's tongue should be burning due to having squares with him, which Bubble said he got vaccinated and Kaufmo points out that bubbles can't be vaccinated. Kaufmo also tells Kinger where Ragatha admits a hint that she'd lick his butt while Ragatha is heard being inaudibly upset from far away. The trio end up in the abstraction area, and eventually Kinger tells Kaufmo to reset, and Kaufmo pretending to reset tricked Bubble into resetting, and Kaufmo outsmarting Bubble twice made him boast and brag over the fact. He thanks a few abstracted people like Daisy, Jennifer, Thomas Jefferson and Bob for giving him abstractionology knowledge before Kinger rescues him.
After flying around for a little while got Bubble joining in and saying Sonic X's Theme Song was a good song, which Kaufmo said Bubble ate too much of that song and has ADHD. Kaufmo sticking with Kinger made Kaufmo feel blessed in knowing he could avoid being touched inappropriately was "The Void". He and Kinger had fun surprising Pomni, Ragatha, Caine and Bubble.
He and Kinger chill with the crew until Bubble stalks Kaufmo and he ran away, regretting not being discreet with Kinger about his plan to not tell anyone about their plan to maneuver, he told Bubble to stop licking him since he has STDs (Stupidly Transmitted Diseasez), and Caine told Kaufmo how running isn't helping while Bubble was relentless. Daine told Bubble that Kaufmo is not comfortable and told Bubble to stop sexually harassing Kaufmo.
Kaufmo appeared to then enjoys Caine's plan to distract everyone with the act of telling stale jokes and puns, with Daine making a "fungi" pun about mushrooms telling jokes, and Kaufmo pretends to enjoy Caine's lackluster jokes. He witnessed Pomni spouting gibberish that Kaufmo had naturally translated as an alien apocalypse. He liked the fact Kaufmo was sprayed with chloroform by Kinger disguised as a mannequin. When Caine did an outro, Kaufmo said he was sponsored by "Kaufmo Tire", which Daine remembers the time when Kaufmo was a tires salesman and Kaufmo enjoyed his job he once had before he became a clown.
He received a bowl of cereal by Kinger that Kaufmo thought was Cheerios, but was misled into getting rat poison hidden in cereal, and he got knocked over for a brief amount of time. He woke up as soon as Pomni tried to tell everyone about his butt sticking out, and asked if he smelled Pomni by saying that wasn't true but it was Kinger who did. He tells Ragatha and Pomni that they won't ever get more butt pictures of him since he sneaked into Ragatha's room to burn all the pictures, right before Caine said his fans wanted more pictures, which made Kaufmo say what twice over the fact, right before Daine looked baffled at the picture of his butt on the floor for everyone to see.
Kaufmo told Caine it was a good idea that the picture was a good distraction so Bubble could leave him alone, right before Ragatha admits that it should be her job to lick Kaufmo's butt, which baffled everyone, and Kinger finally sees where Kaufmo was coming from when Kaufmo had assumptions of Ragatha's hidden kinky side Kaufmo predicted. Pomni placed another pic of the same butt pic for Bubble to lick, and Ragatha being near the pics with a perverted giggle. Witnessing this made Kaufmo point out how she is getting bubble bacteria and Caine said how smelly Kaufmo's butt is, and Kaufmo agreed with Caine and said how his rump is worse than a deflated butt. Caine said how Kaufmo's butt is silent but deadly, which Kaufmo said it should be seen as that but "Bubble McBallsy" and "Ragatha McAssPhotographer" didn't think so.
Pomni felt sick at Bubble licking the butt pic and Kaufmo said he felt the same way and said he threw up when he first witnessed it, this got Pomni into throwing up and Kaufmo said he relates to her already. Kaufmo seemed to like Caine's idea to turn the tables onto Ragatha for her hair. He was happy to see his pet centipede Carl, and when Caine tried feeding it cake before Pomni ate it, he asks what he'd call Pomni and said he'd call her "you couple of laughters" for eating the cake.
Him witnessing a pic of Maid Jax and a meme picture, trying to piece this together before seeing Ragatha and Bubble sneak up behind him to go close to his butt before Kaufmo turns around and remains observant of them. Jax asking what Kaufmo is talking about, Kaufmo wondering what Ragatha is trying to do with taking a picture of his butt again, and him swearing during this observation made him keep a close eye on her and said he could look at her in the eyes all night if he has to before Ragatha said she already got a pic. He vows revenge and seems persistent with getting rid of the pictures after seeing her put these pictures without his permission and seeks to watch her like a hawk.
He tells Jax he'll get blueprints and plan out ways to remove the pictures without Ragatha knowing, and Caine tells Kaufmo to censor his swears more and Kaufmo seemed to challenge him, and Kaufmo gets censored. He even said his days of bullshitting while swearing were after due to forced censorship. He seemed to then have a conversation with Kinger about drawings even when Bubble tried stalking him yet again and said he was ready to get a pole and a restraining order on Bubble, right before recordings of Kaufmo witnessed two Kingers (one of them being Ragatha in disguise) and Kaufmo scenes were suggested by Pomni, Kaufmo said how much he was waiting.
Kaufmo then transformed in his abstracted form and tests his voice by witnessing two Kingers vibrate, he was glad to finally chase Pomni, get revenge towards Jax for stealing his bowling ball, and he said how he had to treat Ragatha like a ragdoll for his failed jokes when Ragatha asked Kaufmo about smoking for 20 years, and Pomni said Kaufmo sounds like a chain smoker twice (even when Kaufmo chases after Pomni and claims to make her his while destroying everything).
In a sky adventure, he seemed to like the SpongeBob meme "you like Krabby Patties don't you Squidward?" used in a different context, and he said instead of joining along with the next challenge, he said twice and elaborating that he could get bigger and crush people with his fingers to make bones snap, and seemed to relish in the idea of making bones crack deliciously right before being told to join, he reluctantly goes since he wanted to kill some people.
He is seen dancing in the outro and kissing the camera screen that has a mirror of himself, which he kisses said mirror screen out of amusement.
Highlights of July 19th's Shenanigans of 2025
He gets into a boxing adventure, he is still miffed at the fact he couldn't swear again, and holds back at swearing at Jax for his sarcasm. He whined when his friends told him to go up to the circle to begin a fight against Pomni and Kinger that Kaufmo believed he'd get his butt kicked (even Ragatha wanted to see him fight), and Kaufmo observes how the fight before he tries fighting Pomni and got taken down first before Pomni takes down Kinger in one go.
He said Caine was a cuck as a reason for Caine to censor him, which the lady who talked to him validated Kaufmo's reasoning.
He mocked Jax for not chopping well and waits for Jax to improve his skills, even though Kaufmo is worse with a right hand, and somehow does better with his left arm; hand and even elbow. He even teases Jax for his Donald Trump voice impression, and Kaufmo discovered that he and Zooble are both good lefties even though Zooble has a claw. Kaufmo is shocked that Kinger managed to unintentionally discover Kaufmo's real name "Joseph", and almost panicked that he has to go back to Italy, even when Kinger apologetically said that he read Kaufmo's name tag Jod, and Kaufmo said his it's almost scary that he discovered a part of his identity in the real world. He even asks Kinger if he was Kaufmo's secret grandfather for speaking just like him in one moment that Kaufmo said that he eats danger for lunch, and Kinger said he's the wise Kinger who knows a lot about chopping brick, and Kaufmo even said how Kinger looked into Kaufmo's backstory.
Kaufmo makes light of his "dead clown feet" that he can't feel compared to his hands.
Kaufmo was getting progressively jealous of his friends that can chop and break bricks in one go way better than him, and Kaufmo got so envious of Jax and admits it's rare, and Kaufmo chokes Jax for stealing his phrase Goofy Slammers.
Kaufmo played a joke on a mannequin trying to chop bricks with a sword before laughing mischievously once the manniqueen realizes what Kaufmo did, and he discovered his ability to use his lefty as good as Zooble does with their claw, and "chopping ass" with their left hand and his left elbow even though he writes good with his right hand and that his right elbow couldn't break brick as good as Kaufmo's left arm; which Kaufmo thought was stupid logic and believed that his left arm is a ultimate weapon of some sort, and Kaufmo called himself a curse and said he knew he was a curse.
He talks to the Orbsman who Kaufmo called "blue ball man", and said he's happy at how awful he feels about himself.
Kaufmo makes light of Jax pretending to be Donald Trump, by calling Jax "Donald Jackson" and that he took a rabbit dump after calling Jax "Donald Jump" as a rhyme to poke fun at him, and Kaufmo answered Pomni's question for who pooped on the floor that it was Jax who "jumped" himself. He also laughed at Jax awkwardly moving when chopping bricks alongside everyone else.
He had slight sympathy for Jax getting beat by Kinger for being gay, and later Kaufmo called out on how Jax disguising himself as Gangle and acting devious will result in Gangle messing him up good as a consequence.
When he went to see where Pomni went and hanged out, he sees Gummigoo trying to go Super Saiyan, and Kaufmo took the opportunity to attempt farting hard next to him, which resulted in the entire world in real life and the moon to blow up (with subtitles saying that Kaufmo did this on purpose).
He got high on cocaine and said that he was losing his mind when he was high off of coke.
When he hears two people getting ice cream and the yellow-haired lady calls herself a genius for the price of a game of heads and tails connecting to a simple goal for getting ice cream, Kaufmo challenges this by asking where is any conflict by asking her what about the intrigue and stakes are to add challenge to the story (and even sex appeal jokingly), the lady then said the a trip in the wild to get the ice cream is where the "stakes" would be in the trip.
He enjoys goading and baiting and asking Fudge questions about how is his go to snack with eating people since Fudge couldn't choose his favorite snack of people to eat since they're all his favorite choices, and even teasing Fudge for the fact he's made out of candy, which eventually went from indecision to growing anger towards Kaufmo saying stuff out of misunderstanding like Fudge talking about spraying catnapping stuff and not catnip, Kaufmo took amusement in seeing the Fudge monster getting scared off with a piss spray despite having no nose, and had provoked Fudge to the point of chasing Kaufmo to "eat" him once Kaufmo thought he senses smell with his body that Kaufmo asked if it was through his eyeballs that Fudge said no to, and the Fidget got enraged at Kaufmo not being a good listener and Kaufmo saying that he almost forgot what Fudge's teeth looked like in surprise, that incited Fudge to chase Kaufmo while Kaufmo said he tastes as bad as a piece of paper.
When the rabbit person and Nate went from fighting to hugging, Kaufmo understands the lady nearby said that there should be a fight to see blood and Kaufmo understands how enjoyably barbaric it could be.
While he was talking to a yellow haired lady about the Saharah desert after Popeye picked a fight with him, Kaufmo even asked if the dessert was dryer than his left pinky; which the lady said she doesn't know and said that she didn't want to know if that's true, which Kaufmo laughs in amusement, and Kaufmo was about to high five a rabbit person beating up Nate before finding out the rabbit person was gonna fight Kaufmo next while Kaufmo asked and questioned if ít was because of his red lips and feet due to being a literal clown; which the rabbit person said yes and called Kaufmo a clowner when Kaufmo tried to say that he got his hat from a guru, and the rabbit person's next plan they intended was to get his friend Tye to diss on Kaufmo (which the yellow haired lady called out on the rabbit person relying on his friend Tye to diss on Kaufmo instead of dissing on Kaufmo themselves), when that rabbit person's plot had failed since the guy on the phone was too ignorant to know what dissing even is and wasn't able to trash talk Kaufmo, and the rabbit person called the phone guy "so useless", Kaufmo took the opportunity to make a few jokes and tells a fe prank call type of responses to the person on the phone such as ordering a number 2 chicken patty, and even asking to get a Whopper from Burger King to talk over the rabbit person and even confuse the guy on the phone, which caused his prank to go well for Kaufmo and succeeding at embarrassing the rabbit person's attempt to get someone to trash talk Kaufmo, and Kaufmo relished in the rabbit person retreating by telling the lady nearby that he might as well do prank calls if nobody is gonna diss on him.
Kaufmo listens to the rabbit person banter with the yellow haired lady and a snail man named Nate, Kaufmo rips into Nate's ignorance with not knowing anything about Bill Cosby being a sexual predator that Kaufmo also said Bill was a child predator as well (which Kaufmo points out how Nate lives under a rock since Nate was living under the ocean to understand what Krypton even is and not knowing what Superman even is, and how it all didn't add up), and the rabbit person attempting to calm down Kaufmo resulted in the same yellow haired lady calling the rabbit person out on hypocrisy with keeping it down. Kaufmo listens to the same lady tell how the rabbit person squeals like a pig when playing a horror game that the rabbit person deflects as Russian propaganda and the lady being crazy when the rabbit person was only embarrassing themself once the lady said the rabbit person's breath is so heavy it could peel paint (which Kaufmo tried winding up the rabbit person from behind during their banter).
Witnessing the rabbit person and Nate fight (with Nate making weak attacks to the rabbit person), Kaufmo questioned Nate's claim his Air Wind attack was made up he had no idea about and something he "practiced and mastered", which Kaufmo calls Nate a walking contradiction and a enigma, and when Nate and the rabbit person were arguing over who wanted to fight and who didn't want to join in a fight stepping on a red circle to begin their fight: all before Nate told Kaufmo to fight for him despite picking a fight against the rabbit person, Kaufmo points this out which Nate calls Kaufmo his pokemon, and Kaufmo said that he's not the pokemon and that Nate was since he was a snail person and that Kaufmo had no Pokemon abilities on him, causing Nate and the rabbit person to both laugh and entertain Kaufmo's statement by asking if Kaufmo called Nate "the snail" due to how mentally slow Nate is.
Kaufmo jokingly told the snail person to fight the rabbit person, and the rabbit person said they could beat up Kaufmo and Nate if they wanted to, Kaufmo challenges this by asking for clarity since Kaufmo's yarn body is elastic and hellbent, and said that Kaufmo had to join since he stood closer to them compared to Nate chickening out, Kaufmo called Nate a complete wuss and joined in on brawling the rabbit.
During the fight, the rabbit person said how they and Kaufmo are both toys and the rabbit person realized they had a wind up feature on their back, Kaufmo said how he tried to wind it up earlier but was now instead focused on whopping the rabbit person's ass.
The fight resulted in Kaufmo winning the fight and emoted on the rabbit person, which both they and Nate both said and Kaufmo proudly tells the rabbit person to hang on Kaufmo's nuts and states his name after getting the rabbit person served.
Kaufmo then call out Nate for chickening out of a fight instead of joining in and left Kaufmo into fighting the rabbit person that they wanted to fight Nate, and Nate admits this was a art form, which Kaufmo understands. Kaufmo then asserts his dominance on Nate by saying that Nate made this a art form because Nate knew that Kaufmo would take him down no problem like he did to the rabbit person; which the Nate said was true, and Kaufmo said that Nate (or as Kaufmo calls him "snail man" knows his place, and Kaufmo claims to be a dominant clown who doesn't play by anyone's rules.
Kaufmo dodges the sword attack the rabbit person tries inflicting, and the attempt the rabbit person made misses the mark and hits the wall instead, Kaufmo tells the rabbit person that he couldn't destroy his "p*nis" since it's already numb. Then Gummigoo honked Kaufmo's nonexistent nose, and gets to high five Gummigoo before Kaufmo wonders how can he celebrate his victory and looks into a wall full of pitch black.
The video ends with another shot of the Earth and moon exploding twice.
Highlights of July 25th's Shenanigans of 2025
He is seen in his spaceship fortress, plotting for what to do today while also exclaiming his desire to rule the universe one day while he enjoys causing shenanigans like it's a everyday routine. Then it cuts to him poking Caine's eyeballs.
He mourns the loss of Ragatha once Evil Pomni, and asked Evil Pomni if Ragatha tastes like pizza and hoped, which Evil Pomni said that she has to ask the abstracted people about this. He said he misses Ragatha, and he told Evil Pomni he's surprised Caine didn't erase her since she's a NPC and Caine forgot, and Evil Pomni fearfully told Kaufmo to not tell Caine, which Kaufmo understood that Caine was too stupid to remember that.
While he explored the rooms, he realized he can do devious deeds since Ragatha was eaten, and he told Kinger that he was kind of devastated that Ragatha was eaten (and considered Ragatha his love); Kaufmo then said he doesn't know what to expect, and once he went into Ragatha's room to try destroying the evidence and retreated to Pomni's room when he was caught, resulting in Pomni pouncing into him and saying he forgot to get his flamethrower. He also tried to take a dump on Gangle's toilet before Kinger told him about the glasses with a loading item that is meant to be the action figure Gangle had, and Pomni pooped on the toilet before Kaufmo could, which Kaufmo said that was going to be his "goofy dump plan".
When Jax asked Kaufmo about a rabbit that looks similar to Kaufmo, Kaufmo called it a "banana sock rabbit" before Jax said a friend of his called the rabbit "Cletus", and when he went into his own bedroom Caine was talking about, Kaufmo was familiar with how distorted it is as he intended and called his own room "gorgeous".
The second time he went into Ragatha's room to search for the pictures, when he sees the bookshelf didn't reveal much, he tries to touch a piano key and thought it'd blow up, and once it did, he shows no concern in the moment before Jax and Pomni show Kaufmo a exit room. Kaufmo assumed Jax was trying to deceive him while persuading him, Kaufmo called him a "Cheshire Cat wannabe", and while Jax was telling him to go in, Kaufmo said if he dies in the room he wouldn't let Jax go to his funeral. Kaufmo looks for a door after mentioning that he left burritos in the room, and while he wasn't dead, he was trapped in, and him finding this out made him want to pursue and choke Jax in revenge. He sits on Pomni alongside Jax and Zooble, which Pomni said they were all heavy especially Jax, and once they saw a green ball, they all fell since Pomni couldn't hold them all any longer and Kaufmo adapts to his legs and shins shattering.
After he choked Jax when Jax said Kaufmo understood the love for violence, and Kaufmo was cool with Kinger putting a hat on Kaufmo and said "Welcome the ahyucking circus ya f*cks!"
He was seen sliding on a rail and acting like a surfer dude who says "totally radical dude!" or "tubular dude!", and he wondered if the Sun had more "butt charisma" for multiple puns and reasons that the jokes write themselves. He tried to tell everyone that Jax was trying to fool everyone about the exit room, and seeing how Kaufmo's attempts to convince them in the moment were futile, he said now he tried to warn them and how they all took the bait Jax convinced Kaufmo's friends about, and with nobody to stop him, he then goes to take a dump in Gangle's toilet without flushing and not washing his hands since there wasn't a way to do so, and he was ready to blame it on Jax for Gangle having a smelly bedroom.
Since he couldn't jump high and said his narcoleptic legs couldn't do anything, he was seen getting a flight up to the top of the tent with the crew, and he was ready to choke Jax for making fun of how bald Kaufmo himself is.
He was then seen talking to Evil Pomni and when she said she founded his funeral, Kaufmo didn't have the energy to talk back but calling her a big "U", even when Evil Pomni said she wasn't trying to insult him and honestly state what she founded.
Seeing his friends from far away, he tried to do a long jump and he paused, causing him to fall and then glitch under the map by complete accident😋, which he addresses the abstraction hole as "his ass" that looks beautiful before resetting.
When he makes it to the teleporting machine, Kaufmo tells Zooble and Pomni how the crew wanted to get diabetes by entering a Candy world, and he even referred to the Candy Kingdom as discovering the biggest sugar coma in history, saw the Fudge monster he calls the sh*t monster, and jumped in the chocolate river he called the "sh*t river" with enthusiasm, which Pomni laughed at Kaufmo's joke.
He calls out on Caine not knowing what a donut is when Caine called it a "ring thing". He asks Kinger how is Kinger "lolling the popping" for standing on a lollipop, and Kinger says he doesn't know as a response.
He agreed with Zooble's point in how the terrain looked similar to exploring Mars and Kaufmo agrees with how alien it felt.
In the mansion, when Kinger points to a head of Ragatha on the wall, Kaufmo said how much he loves Ragatha before turning around to see Pomni, Caine and Jax looking at him awkwardly for what Kaufmo said.
He also told Jax how Zooble's limbs get stiff when they hold their breath and how it has nothing to do with heterosexual jokes that Jax was making.
At Spudsys, he willingly jumped inside of a deep fryer and began dancing on a deep fryer, which Caine told him to stop pissing in there and Kaufmo said it was a beautiful grease fryer, and Caine tries to tell Kaufmo to do a better "birds the word" dance and Kaufmo took this in stride. Kaufmo then took the opportunity to find Caine and Jax's internet search history and hack into it to expose Caine's Moon searches.
He asks Jax if he's against blue people, and after Jax explains he's periwinkle as a actual color and said yes to Kaufmo's question, Kaufmo tells Evil Pomni this and how ridiculous it is to Kaufmo, resulting in her calling Jax racist for being against blue people, and Kaufmo said how Jax hates blue people for no reason with amusement, and Jax calls Orbsman "the blue b*tch".
He then finds Pomni's searches, Ragatha's search history relating to Kaufmo himself, and he questioned Pomni's eagerness for dating jester people and getting Kinger to ask Pomni this while she was being fed stupid sauce by Evil Pomni enabling this. He tried to expose Jax once Jax panicked for Kaufmo to not tell Gangle anything, right before Gangle questions Kaufmo's searches for Ragatha and was disappointed in him, right before Jax finds a ship relating to Ragatha and Jax, and Kaufmo tried to blame it on Pomni before Gangle sees her being shipped with Zooble.
He commended Pomni for humbling Jax about his search history and exposing Jax for his crush for Gangle, and he witnessed Jax attempting to look in Pomni's search history, and Gangle comes in to kick everyone out before Jax could effectively humiliate Pomni, Kaufmo even said he doesn't have a job and is a professional hacker and actor, right before launching himself into a wall and then Gangle opens the door again for him to leave the room while laughing to himself by how Gangle "locked him in".
Gangle in her manager form even tells Kaufmo that looking up Ragatha fanart isn't allowed right now at Spudsys, and was sent to the employee reevaluation room, and Kaufmo founded it pointless and futile because Gangle's video couldn't do anything to him since Kaufmo has a strong mind that can withstand anything thrown at him, verbally, psychologically or otherwise.
He was instructed to go to Gangle's room, and helps Kinger with getting a burger out of his throat when Kinger was choking, and Kaufmo does a falcon punch to the chest to save Kaufmo from hurting, and told Kinger that he's welcome.
He was later seen being affectionate and protective of a sleeping Ragatha who finally came back somehow, and Kaufmo tries to wake her up with the video and making loud "booping" sounds.
Then it cuts to him exploring a maze with Kinger, and Jax unintentionally joins in and Kaufmo said how Kinger predicted Jax's act of inadvertantly joining them, thus leading to Kinger and Kaufmo scheme a way to outwit Jax and trick him into not joining in again with a "Hide Me" option once Kinger does the plan in motion before excluding Kaufmo from Jax so Kaufmo knows of the plan Kinger had, and even though Kaufmo accidentally joined where Ragatha was at the wrong are and said he was sorry for unintentionally teleporting there, he went back to where Jax was before Kinger convinced Jax to find Pomni, which allowed both of them to continue exploring the maze after Kaufmo and Kinger pulled off the trick well, and Kaufmo commends Kinger's trick by saying how the scheming was fun to do with him.
Kaufmo then tries searching himself up on the internet and founded too much cringe of himself and tries shielding anyone from looking at it.
Kaufmo then enjoys watching Ragatha attack Jax with a bat and Kaufmo said he likes "his woman like that".
The outro of the video has him on doing a "grinding on a rail" trick, acting like he's Tony Hawk and said "Surf's up dude!".
JigSaw Highlights of July 26th's Shenanigans of 2025
He arrives to a hotel and prepares to join his friends after reminiscing on how New York and Anaheim used to look before getting stuck in the digital realm, admitting he almost forgot what it was like to be in the real world. He also states how he had paralysis demons that drove him insane.
Him hearing Pomni calling him a "monkey boy" made him crap himself, and he even questioned himself for that even happening. He enters the jigsaw puzzle room and he asks if it's spiritually safe to be in the room so he doesn't get cursed by some unknown entity like he was last night as he claims, which baffled and confused others around him such as Purple and a moon named Jackson.
He points out how random the NPCs are starting to become, and was thinking that the puzzle he witnessed could fix his brain, and said that if he did this, he'd do this silently without yelling.
He tells Purple how Kaufmo's brain asks him questions everyday such as his own life decisions, what he even stands for as a person sometimes and losing count on what significance are the questions that his brain is telling him, before getting distracted and saying that he has a hitchhiker's thumb. He tells Pomni that he has the power to control his abstraction and even unabstract when Pomni said she was surprised that Kaufmo didn't abstract all of this tome. He also his friends how he is hearing voices in his head that are telling him demoralizing things Kaufmo doesn't want to do or shouldn't do, he agreed with someone's philosophy to slap someone and make coffee fly as a coping mechanism (which Purple told the guy that is wrong), and Kaufmo admits that he is fighting the paralysis demons in his head that haunted him and gave him nightmares while he was in the night before (one that is shaped like a dark phantom cat), and chose to do slacklining (as well as kissing a wall to prove that he loves Jesus Christ himself) to "balance his life", practice self-control to attempt being less of a weirdo (even if he is just naturally a strange person), and even mentally refreshen himself with making the right life decisions for himself and balancing himself while seeking some kind of psychological significance in fixing himself mentally, wanted to feel less terrible about himself, and even touching as well as kissing a wall to show how much he loves Jesus and wanting to not further debase himself since the night beforehand; all of which had made him lose some marbles and tried to purify himself even when a mannequin and a marionette were commenting on questioning Kaufmo (a marionette even admitting twice that they stopped questioning Kaufmo a long time ago), and everyone sees amusement in the random things Kaufmo was saying and Kinger was baffled by Kaufmo's statements.
During the moment, he validated a random guy gives Kaufmo advice like smacking a white guy's cups when they put shades off since the guy solves his own problems by assaulting others.
Kaufmo's goofy balls were being honked by Mr. WPNZ and said that he has buttons on his trousers when Purple and Kaufmo disagreed since Kaufmo said he'd have britches if he did, and Purple said that Kaufmo wore a yellow onesie instead. It was agreed that Kaufmo's line about terrorists predicted what happened in the canon TADC episode They All Get Guns, and Kaufmo asked if he was evil even though he tried to "redeem" himself.
He finds a comfort animal plush doll that he calls "Jerry the Leopard" that Kaufmo talks to and shows to vent and pour his questions and emotions onto, as if Kaufmo could communicate to it, seeking emotional support and validation support from it, even admitting that he feels less paranoid around Jerry. He was in hysterics by saying if anyone hurts Jerry; Kaufmo will hurt them, and Kaufmo asks "where is Jerry you b(boink!)c?! Where's Jerry" when Purple made him think she threw it away while lying about growing legs even though Jerry doesn't move on his own, and he even chases after it to keep it to himself, willingly threatening everyone he'd crush whoever messes with it such as Purple; someone Kaufmo believes she was gaslighting and putting words in his mouth to anger him, he pretty much said he wouldn't say anything to her while he was looking for Kerry, and pretty much wants to be left alone to have a moment with Jerry. Jax even asks what is mentally wrong with Kaufmo, before Kaufmo admits "Jerry" is the only person he could talk to and feel accepted for without feeling like a idiot for talking about anything troubling on his mind. He even claimed that he needed to vent to Jerry since his therapists in the real world ditched him to solve problems himself, and he feels like Purple was toying with Kaufmo for her own sadistic pleasures in a situation he needs to vent.
He even tries to be civil so he can push Purple away from making him get angry at her for messing with him at his most vulnerable, and stayed civil and in control of himself so he doesn't act or do something he'd regret.
He and Kinger find a bag of white powder that Kinger calls "coke", and Kaufmo conjectures that this is a reason why Caine acts so crazy.
After Kaufmo vented to his plush animal, and Kinger goes to check on him, Kaufmo even had a mental breakdown on people in the world like to play with his emotions, feeling like he was too nice for his own good and had to act a little harder on those who judge or mess with him.
While his pet centipede Carl found the animal doll Kaufmo was looking for, Kaufmo is seen talking to the Sun herself, from asking her who has more "butt charisma" between him and her, and then striking a better approach by complimenting her just to be nice on purpose and for the sake of it, all of which made the Sun blush and smile.
He was surprised that the fire stick Sun was holding didn't hurt when she fed him a part of it ever since he first saw once in a boxing location on July 19th, and Kaufmo asks Sun if he could high five, resulting in her high-fiving him, Kaufmo's hand goes on fire and Kaufmo calmly said how she was so hot his hand was already red just high-fiving him (which made the Sun shocked by that fact), and Kaufmo clarified that he was genuinely complimenting her and not trying to hit on her or be weird about it, right before a random guy tells Kaufmo that his arm was twisted. It immediately cuts to Kaufmo saying how his attempt at "rizz" was probably futile and he focused on the well-being of his stuffed animal Jerry, right before the Sun approaches him (much to Kaufmo's surprise), and Kaufmo sweated nervously once the Sun came up to him and said she wanted to thank Kaufmo for his kind words. Kaufmo admitting how much he's sweating while also saying "anytime" to her. When the Sun apologized for making him sweat, Kaufmo reassured her that he was fine with the heat ever since the time he went to Arizona before entering the digital circus world and was fine with intense heat and got used to it and his main concern was not offending her, which made the Sun see his point and also giggle flirtatiously to him before walking away, which Kaufmo then awkwardly said he would bow to her response and bows to her for a moment.
He is also seen observing Jax and Kinger talking about who'd win a fight before Kinger explains why the dragon would win, and Kaufmo passionately says how his leopard doll "Jerry" fought with honor despite not coming out on top, right before Kinger asks Kaufmo if he took any drugs before Kaufmo said he took one of them.
He joined in with Caine wanting to fight Bubble for messing with Jerry, Kaufmo acts in revenge and pursued after Bubble when he was taking Jerry and Caine tried popping him with his futile cand, and Kaufmo pops him with his finger.
He is seen running away from a hostile robot who tried to zap and chase him for being an "abstracted" character who left the cellar, and Kaufmo wanted his balls fried instead of being shot. Thus leaving N to handle the robot while Kaufmo keeps a low profile in such a predicament, and once a robot's head was punched off and fire came out of it, Kaufmo later tries putting his hands in front of fire like as if it was a campire before it started shooting everywhere and a Oiled Up Ragatha went to combat said robot, and Kaufmo admits he's been going insane after a robot told everyone in the living room were all losing their minds.
Kaufmo then goes upstairs and sees Tom, a demonic bogeyman cat who was scaring Pomni and Kaufmo focused on high fiving one of the boogeyman's multiple hands. He told Tom he liked his screeching sounds when Tom said yes, and when Tom strangles Kaufmo, Kaufmo said how great it felt before Tom was baffled and Kaufmo tries to admit his masochism before Tom interrupted and said "I beg your pardon?"
Kaufmo relished in watching Tom chase after Purple, and Kaufmo tells Tom was doing good work with killing and hurting people and to save the best part for last when it gets to a 10 'ol clock shift, which made Tom impatient and said that everyone needs to die and ran off, which Kaufmo couldn't mind any more and lets him go on another possible killing spree in the digital realm.
Kaufmo watches Purple get chased by Boris and a giant Jerry Mouse. Kaufmo is later seen saluting and showing respect to Soldier when he asked Kaufmo if he wanted to see a magic trick. Kaufmo receives a "at ease" sort of response, and watches Tom Cat whack the Soldier in the crotch and provoking him into firing missiles at Tom, and Kaufmo takes great amusement in what he's watching.
The episode ends with Kaufmo saluting to Jerry and spending blessings to the people in the world that we need.
Highlights of July 27th's Shenanigans of 2025
He, Pomni, a moon named Jackson and a disguised Kinger discover a world of dead memes, and Kaufmo and Kinger questioned her for wanting to make a world of memes her home world. Which Kaufmo suspects that she just loves memes, and Kaufmo tells a version of Ming to kill a Minion and put it out of its suffering. He even asks Pomni her idea of roleplay being dead memes before finding a cemetery with Squidward underneath it, and Pomni admits that the world she chose was really stupid, and Kaufmo and Jackson both agreed, the latter saying that his brain hurts looking at the busy visuals everywhere.
Afterwards; they head to Spudsys and it gets chaotic after Kaufmo willingly jumps in a deep fryer to frame it on a disguised Jax. Gummigoo and Pomni get infected and act as zombies unless Kinger uses a ctrl-alt-delete option on them, and Kaufmo outsmarts zombified Pomni and Gummigoo with Gangle's hypnotic TV.
He is seen trying to lick a cash register without a tongue and said that it tasted like nickels.
Fanciest Highlights of July 31st's Shenanigans of 2025
He is seen in a movie room, with then Caine tells Kaufmo of what happened at Spudsys when Kaufmo tried hacking through everyone's accounts to find out that Ragatha secretly loves Kaufmo, and that Kaufmo tried to ship himself with Ragatha, which Caine considered deleting soon.
He talked to the Sun once again. He first said hi to her in a bit of a slightly hesitant manner. Even when Kaufmo initially was focused on the movie trailer Pomni made, the Sun stood near him, and Kaufmo said he was surprised that the trailer was even happening in the room with his friends. Once he was questioning why he was sweating again, the Sun apologized again for giving off strong heatwaves, and Kaufmo was rather understanding of the fact she is the sun and respecting that fact about her, and yet again reassures her that he is fine with her heatwaves. He even finds out that the Sun was trying to burn the butt pictures of Kaufmo that Pomni was placing on the floor, something that Kaufmo wanted to do as well in the first place, and Kaufmo was happy that Sun was siding with Kaufmo, which made Kaufmo admit that he already likes her now. When Pomni seemed to be too eager for the Kaufmo butt picture and Sun comments on Pomni's extreme interest, Kaufmo even admits he has to stick around her talk when Pomni's antics continue happening, the Sun even asks Kaufmo if this is turning into a "love decahedron" from just Pomni's behavior alone, which Kaufmo is confused too.
As soon as Caine tries to share his idea to bond with Sun (who was revealed to be lonely recently after breaking up with Jax), and to hang out with Sun even if Ragatha does or doesn't share feelings towards Kaufmo, and he seems to like the idea, and so did the Sun herself.
This caused Pomni to fight and take on Kaufmo out of rage, which Kaufmo was confused and amused by, and thought Pomni said britches when Pomni called Kaufmo a "b*tch" for thinking about dating the Sun, witnessing her jealous actions as if it was a show to him.
Kaufmo tries talking to Sun about how much he over thinks, which Pomni quotes one of Kaufmo's lines in the first episode "That's my Kaufmo dump", and Caine tells Sun about how much Caine thought Kaufmo's butt would get bigger by thinking so hard and calls Kaufmo Caseoh's clown buddy.
Despite Kaufmo and Sun being in the room with strange people like Pomni and Caine being chaotic in this day with each other and even the two acting like growling dogs, Kaufmo even admits to the Sun that Kaufmo will need to stick around her to keep his sanity intact by sticking around her more and didn't care about getting a sunburn or a tan as long as he feels safe with her around. Kaufmo even witnessed her silently gesturing that Caine is a crazy person before telling Kaufmo a movie line reference before smiling again, thus hinting more chemistry between the two.
Kaufmo witnessed Caine getting pranked by Pomni, and Kaufmo admits he popped bubble for messing with Jerry (much to Caine's shock and surprise). Kaufmo said that he didn't want to lick up any of the messes no matter how much Caine pressured him and tries forcing him to lick the mess and instead chose to clean the mess with his gloves, which Kaufmo does to avoid getting bacteria on his lips.
Then it cuts to a furry fishing for Pomni's head, finding fish in her head.
Kaufmo and Kinger Car Shhhhenanigans on August 1st and 4th of 2025
Kaufmo witnessed Kinger flying into a cliff and falling to the main floor. Once Kaufmo gets in the kart, Kaufmo and Kinger go perform glitches with karts all around the circus tent, mainly on the floors as they call "Classic Kaufmo and Kinger antics".
Kaufmo admits he enjoys getting into a car crash especially if he's left inside the kart to crash. He tells Kinger that Kaufmo likes Black Jesus when Kinger was strategizing ways to perform glitches. He also referenced Bubsy 3D for falling faster than how Kinger zoomed past platforms he intended to land on with a kart, and he references a episode from Crash and Bernstein when Crash said "a good driver trusts his instincts".
Kaufmo also makes jokes like Kinger doing this glitches as a science experiment and as if Kinger's goal was to make digital science, which Kinger was flustered and told Kaufmo to "shut up" each time Kaufmo made a joke.
Kaufmo and Kinger end up falling into the goofy pits together and catching it on video before the outro expresses how "Kaufmo and Kinger Roll" as buddy adventure sort of message.
Royally Insane Highlights of August 3rd's Shenanigans of 2025
Kaufmo is seen trying to crack jokes to impress a queen as he was commanded, which shockingly made the knight and queen both not laugh at his jokes about dating the Sun for liking it a little too much, and getting a can of Whoop-Ass to reference Popeye (the second joke almost being funny to the knight where Kaufmo admits he's typically not this unfunny in a situation like this where he's told to make kid rated jokes and was sent to being in a cage jail cell with Pomni, thus revealing that Kaufmo is better at making people laugh when he acts crazy, silly and random (or being made fun of for how he takes craps) rather than being a try-hard comedian.
Pomni asks Kaufmo if he'll save her, and Kaufmo said he has ideas that are indirect and that he'd joke his way out of the situation, which made Pomni lose hope in leaving.
After being fed emojis and pizzas (and enjoying the food he asked them for) while caged with a pessimistic and stressed Pomni who got tomatoes and less appreciation from her compared to Kaufmo, cracking jokes about his poops being a secret weapon after Jackson and a lady poked fun at Kaufmo for taking alligator craps, and teasing a moon named Jackson about dying of cringe and tricking Jackson into thinking there was corn in his ears after Jackson tells everyone that Kaufmo is the most random person he has ever met, he unintentionally finds the way out of the cage when he intended to turn on the TV with a button, and Kaufmo tells everyone including Pomni to run while being chased by Jackson and he said he'd crap on the castle that nobody could stop him.
He admits he can't die, but ran anyway since he didn't want his balls sliced in half, and once Pomni told him her idea to cause mass destruction, Kaufmo agrees with Pomni and sees the usefulness in her idea, this galvanized Kaufmo into making himself big and shout his last words "GOOFY SLAMMAH!!!!!" before smashing the castle itself with his hands to wreck the whole place with everyone on it, and said that size equals power he can impose on his opponents.
He then tries fighting everyone in the kingdom, and chokes Jackson for copying his and Pomni's powers before Kaufmo gets punched in the face, and he and Pomni run away from a knight who reached their height, even saying that he and Pomni have to squeeze their "fatasses" through a door, causing Pomni to laugh. Once Pomni told Kaufmo about leaving while kissing him a few times, and Kaufmo said it was worth a kiss to distract and confuse both the knight and Pomni; which he admits as his attempt at comedic relief and humor in a serious situation, resulting in Pomni asking what did Kaufmo just said, and Kaufmo said nothing. Seeing Pomni squeeze through the knight by crawling through him and making the knight, shrink in size, Kaufmo squeezed through the whole without shrinking, and Kaufmo goes to crush many people's spines such as the knight and even Jackson, which Kaufmo said he had his fun.
Kaufmo and Pomni laugh at the knight slipping over Pomni's poop sticker and said how the joke was on their opponents, which Pomni agreed and said that their enemies were the fools.
Kaufmo is called a b for b*tch, and Kaufmo saw what she meant and said that it was a good comeback despite clarifying that he isn't a bee.
Kaufmo witnessed Jax stalking Gangle, and saw a memetic picture of a "handsome" Ragatha that Jax thought was hideous where Kaufmo called Jax jealous before Kaufmo got punched in the face.
Once he's thrown into a portal that led to the living room, he watches a video of the Nightmare Shenanigans that came out a long time ago (that Kaufmo assumed were knockoffs of his friends before Gangle tells Kaufmo that they came early and Kaufmo understands what she means), and talks to a few members about the group that originated 30 years ago.
He commanded Maid Jax to do the dishes and even make a sandwich, the second time he makes Jax make Kaufmo a sandwich once Jax failed to trick him into getting distracted since Kaufmo wasn't dumb enough to fall for the trick, and Kaufmo thanked Jax for being given a literal knuckle sandwich with a human hand and vegetables inside of it.
He said he'd feed Pomni dragonflies since Pomni pretends to be a frog, and Kaufmo guessed that Jax had dragonflies in his pocket and actively avoiding wanting to know what's actually inside of Jax's pocket.
Kaufmo witnessed Pomni jumping on the shelf before seeing Jax contorting into a bent figure that Kaufmo said he looked like a pretzel, and makes jokes about how leaving the digital circus world works by bending your body so badly that you escape the circus, and reenacts someone's suggestion to snap your neck to leave the circus as a stunt.
He tries to give Pomni beers by throwing it at her, and had inadvertently killed Pomni with beer and had a meltdown, and lamented on it and said that he couldn't go back to prison since he has PTSD flashbacks of that. When Pomni's spirt comes to haunt him, Kaufmo tries to jump off the cliff to commit self-die.
Kaufmo sees a person who entered the party said that they were dying, Kaufmo jokingly said that Pomni was "dying" also and to join the party in a chipper manner, and Pomni says how her head hurts from the alcohol she drunk.
He chitchatted with Dr. Mario, who said that there was a 85% chance of Ragatha falling for him, and urgently asked him if every Ragatha in the whole universe has a obsession for Kaufmo booty, before being told it was a 80% chance. And Kaufmo was silenced by Kinger so Kaufmo stops talking and saying weird stuff before being liberated and saying how painful the lemon punishment was, and Pomni unintentionally punched Kaufmo when she meant to hit Jax and apologized to Kaufmo for it.
Kaufmo tells Kinger to not bring demons back with the number 666, and Kaufmo witnessed Caine looking disturbed after saying there should be more butt pictures of Kaufmo, Caine said that he was disturbed for not having more votes and gets whiny by telling others to vote for him for being lonely
When Pomni puts an butt picture of Kaufmo, he said that the butt jokes are deader than his 10-week crap, and Caine tries to tell Ragatha the phrase "Ragatha is coming for Kaufmo's booty", he tries to make him discreet, and Caine thinks Ragatha already saw the episode to know.
Kaufmo then went to get high and take cocaine that Caine already snorted without a nose, and Kaufmo willingly gets high and deliberately avoids exposing his butt being open for pictures. He tells Ragatha that he's doing lines because of the things he's witnessed too much of the world like the butt pictures for example. He even sounds like Seth Rogen, and sipped some stupid sauce that Pomni offers him, and would take more and more doses of cocaine as it felt better each time.
Caine then magically used his cane stick to not talk, which Kaufmo then goes to write his frustrations by saying "This is ahyucking bullshit! So suck it ahyuckers" in response to Caine silencing him during a moment where everyone in a living room is trying to watch a episode of Nightmare Shenanigans. And Kinger gave him a potion that made him less high, and when Kaufmo tries getting high again, he was given another punishment to drink a potion that restricts him from getting high by force, and looked depressed and bummed that he couldn't get high, and he tries to tell off planets like Pluto for being joke and Mercury being a nag, before being told to be quiet by a few others. Even when Kaufmo was told that he could talk again, he was still bummed until he was allowed to get high again, where some of the people in the background said they got Kaufmo to be quiet for 5 minutes
Kaufmo wanted to bite and eat a chair as a way to cope while Disappearing Guy tried telling him to stop.
Kaufmo makes his statement that life is full of bullsh*t and would become a bearded old man, right after Kinger told Kaufmo to stop getting high. He even tells Mr. WPNZ the message, which WPNZ agreed with.
The end of the video ends with the castle exploding again and Kaufmo looking smug once the bleep screens tell the viewers they got wrecked by Kaufmo twice.
Irregular Highlights of August 7th's Shenanigans of 2025
Kaufmo likes Caine's line to get drowned in the digital lake, and said that should be a everyday slogan
Looney Highlights of August 9th's Shenanigans of 2025
TBA
Wild Westing Highlights of August 10th's Shenanigans of 2025
TBA
The digital shenanigans
Following the events that happened from the episode prior Wild Westing Highlights of August 10th's Shenanigans of 2025, we see from Kinger's perspective from what happened with the glitching stunt (except it's Kaufmo glitching behind a truck instead of Kinger),
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Trivia[]
- He comes from Italy.
- His real name is Joseph, and yet his surname remains unknown.
- He happens to be bald underneath his clown hat.
- He is allergic to turkey since it causes his butt to get bigger.
- He and Zooble are both lefties.
- He happens to love Jesus Christ, and even cherishes the idea of Black Jesus.
- It was shown that he was jokingly diagnosed with chlamydia by penguin doctor as a reason he abstracted, which Kaufmo thought was a perfect diagonsis and disease to have, and this logic might apply to Queenie as a theory.
- In "JigSaw Highlights of July 26th's Shenanigans of 2025", it's discussed and mutually agreed with multiple people that Kaufmo's quote in his first appearance "The Oddball Digital Shenanigans; Best Moments of July 3rd's Shenanigans of 2025" about stopping terrorists, means Kaufmo had officially predicted the terrorist attack involving Zooble shooting down Kinger similar to a terrorist would in the canon episode of TADC "They All Get Guns".
- In "Highlights of July 19th's Shenanigans of 2025", he jokingly quotes the canon Caine's line "Where's the intrigue, the stakes?" and even Bubble's line about no "sex appeal" from the TADC episode "Untitled" when he was questioning the lack of challenge and intruige from a yellow-haired lady's story of getting ice cream over a game of heads and tails, the lady then tells Kaufmo that the stakes are going in the wild to get said ice cream.
- The moment he first said he has a "goofer pooper" and having a "poop rug" in his first appearance, this is referencing a few lines from Brock Baker's Goofy in the Goofy Reacts videos (specifically moments from the videos Goofy Reacts 8 and Goofy Reacts 7).
- The line where he said he had "diabolical genius" in Wild Highlights of July 18th's Shenanigans of 2025, this is meant to be a small reference to a line Mr. Bumpy from Bump in the Night said in the episode "Bumpy the Untrappable".
- Him taking a dump so hard the world exploded in Highlights of July 19th's Shenanigans of 2025, is loosely referencing SML Shrek's moment of farting so hard the world blew up in "Jeffy's Coma", except Kaufmo was intentional about using his bizarre superpowers for destructive purposes.
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 Fanon Villains
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ZAMination Hornstromp/Cartoon Games Amazing Digital Circus Nintendo Universe Caine's Minions
Amazing Digital Circus Glitch Dimensions | ||