FANDOM



Warning
This article's content is marked as Mature
Jeff-Killer
The page Loan Yoda contains mature content that may include coarse language, sexual references, and/or graphic images which may be disturbing to some. Mature pages are recommended for those who are 18 years of age and older.
If you're 18 years or older or are comfortable with graphic material, you are free to view this page. Otherwise, you should close this page and view another page.


Info

Yoda somehow became filled with the urge to get more money. He constantly gives out loans for large amounts of interest. Yoda will also force people to accept loans. Yoda also likes to merchandise. He claims that it gets him even more money when he takes something and makes it into a product. Yoda also had illegal spice smuggling. It allowed him to get more money. He also runs the Jedi News show which is a news station run by Jedi. It is usually about Jedi business but also talks about other events.

Attack of the Clones

Yoda went to Kamino to inspect the clones and see if they would be able to be used on Geonosis. When Yoda went inside the main building, he noticed that it didn't meet galactic regulations on wet floors. He saw puddles everywhere. He decided that he would get some quick credits. He went into a hallway and spilled water on the floor and deliberately slipped. He then sued the Kaminoans. Yoda got millions of credits and was allowed to use the clone troopers whenever he needed. Yoda also gave away loans so more clones could be made.

Clone Wars

The clone troopers used to be able to live in the temple but they got their hands on a lightsaber and destroyed a couch. After that incident, Yoda evicted the clones. Yoda greatly encouraged clones to get their own names. Yoda did this because it would allow for more merchandise. Yoda had a line of action figures for each clone trooper. At one point Ahsoka deflected a laser bolt into Yoda's starfighter. Yoda billed Anakin and Ahsoka. At some point, Anakin bought Ahsoka a remote control probe droid. Ahsoka and Captain Rex flew it around outside. The droid was accidentally flown into a ship's engine which caused the ship to crash. Yoda was later informed of this when he was running his Jedi News show. He commented on how Anakin bought a droid instead of paying his loans. Yoda was later seen offering a loan to the pilot of the ship.

Revenge of the Sith

When Anakin went to seek Yoda's advice on his visions of Padme dying, Yoda told him to let go of everything he feared to lose. However, Yoda also said that Anakin still had to pay his bills and pay back his loans. Then Yoda charged Anakin for the advice. Later, when the council allowed Anakin to be on the council, Yoda charged Anakin money. Yoda said it was because Anakin raised his voice. Yoda decided that he would go to Kashyyyk to collect money from the Wookies. When order 66 was activated, Yoda offered Commander Gree a loan. When Gree saw the amount of interest, he attempted to kill Yoda. Yoda killed Gree. Yoda managed to get to the temple when Vader was in it. Yoda took Vader's lightsaber and charged him money. Vader got away with his lightsaber. While Vader fought Obi Wan Kenobi, Yoda fought Palpatine. Yoda billed Palpatine and left. Before Yoda went to Dagobah, he gave R2-D2 a loan.

Early Days of the Empire

During the early days of the empire, Yoda shut Kamino down because the Kaminoans couldn't repay their loans. Yoda gave small loans of a million credits for the Death Star. Yoda also gave loans to the rebellion.

Empire Strikes Back

When Luke went to Dagohbah, R2-D2 tried to convince Luke not to go because he owed Yoda money. However, Luke didn't believe R2. When they landed, R2-D2 went into the water so he would die and not have to repay Yoda. However, the monster sat R2-D2 out and R2 went with Luke. When Yoda grabbed the flashlight, R2-D2 tried to stop him. The reason was that the flashlight secretly had something inside that was worth billions of credits. After training Luke, Yoda billed him. After Yoda got the X-wing out of the water, Yoda charged Luke more money. At Cloud City, Yoda was a waiter who had overpriced menu items. Somehow, Vader didn't recognize Yoda.

Return of The Jedi

Before Yoda died, he gave Luke a loan. Luke never thought he would have to repay it.

The Last Jedi

When Yoda appeared in Last Jedi, he wanted his money. He revealed that he had 60% interest on the loan he gave Luke. When Yoda destroyed the sacred tree, he charged Luke more money. Luke repaid his loan but refused to give Yoda the money. When Luke died, Luke believed that he wouldn't have to repay the loan. However, Luke was wrong. Yoda immediately found Luke in the afterlife and demanded money.

Other Appearances

Loan Yoda has also appeared in other universes to offer loans with large interest.

Pre Vizsla1's crazy Minecraft Roleplay

Loan Yoda has made several appearances in this universe. He usually offers loans in exchange for lots of diamonds. Loan Yoda once gave the materials Pre Vizsla 1 and CoolDude needed to build but Loan Yoda made them sign a contract. They ended up paying him over a million diamonds.

The worlds tallest Nether Portal

Pre Vizsla 1 and CoolDude decided to make the tallest Nether portal. They made an existing portal taller and a little wider. Little did they know, Yoda was on his way to that Nether portal( he was in the Nether and they were in the Overworld). They succeeded in making the portal. Right after they were done, Yoda went through the portal in the Nether and ended up at the top of the portal complex Pre Vizsla 1 and CoolDude created. Yoda fell off. He used the force to slow his landing so that he landed as soft as a feather. However, Yoda faked his back and neck being injured. He sued Pre Vizsla 1 and CoolDude and took ownership of the massive portal.

The Adventures of Ultimate Warrior and Sheogorath

Loan Yoda has appeared multiple times to give loans.

Minecraft Story Mode

In an adventure in the universe of Minecraft Story Mode, team C.R.A.Z.Y. was going to build an anvil for the building competition. However, Loan Yoda liked the idea. He stole their idea and threatened to sue them if they complained. The team joined Jesse. Later, when the Wither Storm attacked, Yoda tried to defeat it with a large loan. the Wither Storm tried to eat Yoda but Yoda threatened to bill it. Yoda was thrown far away. Yoda later appeared after the Wither Storm was defeated and charged Ivor.

Trivia

  • Loan Yoda is based off Mr. Goodman and the Loan Dolphin. A lot of Yoda's angry quotes are very similar to Mr. Goodman's. Yoda will also personally break kneecaps to get his money like Loan Dolphin.
  • Yoda's need for merchandising is based off of Yogurt from Spaceballs
  • It is unknown how Yoda appears in other universes
  • Loan Yoda loves money
  • Yoda constantly charges everyone money whenever they want something.
  • When Yoda deliberately spilled water in the Kamino cloning facility, he did that just to get money. He could have saved himself time by deliberately slipping on one of the already present puddles but he chose to be an asshole and spill water on the floor just to slip on it while no one watched him spill it. He also faked being paralyzed
  • Yoda is always on the lookout for situations he can get money out of.

Quotes

Hmmm! No wet floor signs I see. Money I can get! Idea I got.
~ Yoda talking to himself when he realizes that the Kamino cloning facility doesn't meet galactic regulations for wet floors.
Ow, my back! Argh, my neck! My back and neck hurt! Damn! Slipped on a fucking puddle I did. No wet floor sign there was! Sue I will! My neck and back hurt they do! Paralyzed I am!
~ Yoda after deliberately slipping on the puddle he made.
A big franchise this is. Lots of money make I do.
~ Yoda breaking the 4th wall
Solve your problem I will and pay me you will!
~ Yoda offering to solve problems
If size matters not, then the bill size matter not
~ Yoda increasing the size of a bill after being told size maters not. (Anakin was trying to lower the amount due)(Yoda adds three zeroes at the end of the bill)
Merchandising I do. More money I get. Merchandise entire franchises I do.
Merchandise for this franchise I have. Show you I can. Star Wars the coloring book, Star Wars the lunch box, Star Wars the cereal, Star Wars the t-shirt, Star Wars the action figure, Star Wars the flamethrower, and so much more.
~ Yoda showing off merch at the Jedi Temple gift shop
Clones! Get more unique names you must. A wonderful opportunity it presents. Merchandise off every trooper I will. Action figures I will make of every clone. Want them people will because different name each clone will have!
~ Yoda merchandising off of the clone troopers
Interest you in a loan, can I?
~ Yoda offering a loan
Hmmm, a loan you could use. Charge large interest I do.
~ Yoda giving loans
Sign contract you will. Loan get you shall. Big interest there will be! If pay it back you don't, bust your kneecaps I shall!
~ Yoda giving loans
Hmmm! That water you drank, free it is not. In life, nothing free is. Money you will give me!
~ Yoda charging money when a clone drank a cup of water
Enjoying your room are you? A complaint received from all of the Jedi I got. They were all wondering along with myself, what the fuck was all that noise?
~ Yoda asking the clones what the noise was. (The clones had destroyed a couch with a lightsaber)


"Was that a fucking lightsaber. Hear a fucking lightsaber did I! If a lightsaber in here there is, fucked you all are!" -Yoda to the clones after they destroyed a couch.

"There is no lightsaber in here" -Captain Rex

"Coming in I am. If a lightsaber I see, fucking evicted you are"-Yoda. Yoda walks inside and points at lightsaber.

"Get the fuck out!"-Yoda after pointing at lightsaber.

"Why"- Commander Fox.

"Evicted as fuck you all are! Get the fuck out!"-Yoda before evicting all the clones from the Jedi temple.

If pay your loans back you don't, break your knee caps I will!
~ Yoda threatening those who don't pay him back
You've got to be fucking kidding me! What the fuck!
~ Yoda inspecting the damage on his starfighter after Ahsoka deflects a blaster bolt into it.
More information of the ship crash we have. Apparently, hit by a remote controlled droid it was. The owner of the droid was Anakin Skywalker. Apparently he thinks spending 2 million credits on a droid is more important than paying back his fucking loans.
~ Yoda on the Jedi News show saying Anakin has misplaced priorities.
Train yourself to let go of what you fear to lose. Unless involves your loans it does! Pay those back you have to.
~ Yoda giving Anakin advice
Anakin, advice I gave you. Free it was not. Money you must give me!
~ Yoda after telling Anakin some advice
Skywalker, raised your voice you did. Offended I am. Fucking money I need. 200 mother fucking credits you will pay!
~ Yoda charging Anakin money after Anakin raises his voice after not being granted rank of master.
Go to Kashyyyk I will. Good relations with the Wookies I have. Pay their goddamn loans back they do! If help them I do, pay me they will. Good credit they got.
~ Yoda declaring he will go to Kashyyk.


"Give me your fucking lightsaber!"- Yoda demanding Anakin's lightsaber.

"Why?" - Anakin.

"Because you don't know how to be a fucking Jedi!" - Yoda

"I'm sorry" -Anakin

"What can I do with an I'm sorry? I'm sorry doesn't fix the fucking younglings!" - Yoda.

a flashlight this might appear to be. But inside, a thing worth billions of credits there is
~ Yoda after taking the flashlight
Food I give you! Free it is not! Taste like shit it might but eat some you did so pay you will!
~ Yoda after giving Luke food
Lift rocks with force you must while standing on your feet I am. Drop me you better not or pay for it you will.
~ Yoda giving Luke instructions
Damn! Shit! Fuck! Ow my back, argh my neck! Fuck you Luke. Ow my back. My neck hurts! Fucking paying for hospital you will. Broke my fucking back and neck are! Damn!
~ Yoda overreacting after he falls over when Luke falls after failing to use the force.
Next part of lesson, that piece of shit that you crashed in my swamp, take that out you will with the force!
~ Yoda telling Luke to use the force
All this training I gave, think it free do you? A fee you shall get. Big bill you receive
~ Yoda billing Luke for training
Very good items on the menu there is. High priced they are
~ Yoda at Cloud City offering food for the Empire.
Luke, before I die, want a large loan do you?
~ Yoda before giving Luke a large loan with large interest before Yoda dies
Skywalker, missed you and your payments I have
~ Yoda greeting Luke
Destroy the tree I did. Owe me money you do. Repay old loan as well you must hmm.
~ Yoda after destroying the sacred tree
Page turners they were not. Fucking boring they were. Yes, yes, yes. Shit load of wisdom they held, but that fucking library contains nothing that Rey does not already posses. Now give me my damn money you must!
~ Yoda still wanting Luke's money after calling the Sacred Jedi texts boring
Ah, Skywalker... still looking to the fucking horizon. Never the shit right here! Now, hmm? The god damn need in front of your nose.
~ Yoda giving wisdom
Worry about the girl, you need not. See her again in Star Wars 9: The Search For More Money, we will. Now my fucking money, give you must!
~ Yoda explaining to Luke that Rey will be alright
Thought you could escape debt in the afterlife did you? Money give me
~ Yoda wanting Luke's money in the afterlife


Quotes from other universes

Ow my back! Ow my neck! Hurts so bad it does! My neck and back hurt they do! Sue I will! Argh, my back and neck hurt they do. Sued you will be. Out of the top of the portal I fell, warnings there were not! Sue you both I will! Damn!
~ Yoda after falling off the top of the tallest Nether portal even though he landed as light as a feather.

Gallery

Navigation

Featured Villains
2018

September
Shadow Aaron

October
Pepper Satanica

November
Does Bad Things Guy

December
Loan Yoda

2019

January
Darkiplier

February
None

March
Vote coming soon!

April

May

June

July

August

September

October

November

December