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| “ | You know, it would be awfully hard to avenge your death… while you're still alive! | „ |
| ~ Princess Peach before she brutally kills Mario |
Princess Peach is the titular main protagonist of Dorkly's YouTube trilogy Peach's Revenge.
Princess Peach plots to get revenge on Bowser for killing Mario by slaughtering and/or beheading his minions.
Until it's revealed, Mario faked his death the whole time and is an asshole who's cares nothing for her. Peach then decided to kill him instead and let Bowser live, despite wanting a mercy kill.
She was voiced by Emily Axford.
History[]
Bowser broke into Peach's castle to kidnap her as usual but is nowhere to be seen. A Koopa finds a package with a note that's for Bowser and the Koopa King reads it: Peach is mad at him for killing Mario and plan's to get revenge on him (not right now; it comes later).
Princess Peach reaches Bowser's castle with 2 Koopas guarding the entrance. One of them asks why she's here, her answer is stabbing them with her parasol! Another Koopa with wings tells the Koopalings the castle is under attack and that he'll protect them. Peach kills him and Bowser's kids beg for mercy but she doesn't care and sets them on fire (with a fire flower and a barrel of oil)!
After Bowser finished reading the note, he opens up the box filled with wands and a decapitated head, he freaks out when he sees that the head belongs to one of his kids!
Some time later; Bowser is sitting on his throne, reading another note from Princess Peach and opens up another package filled with heads. He can't believe the princess is that angry at him for killing Mario and decides to stop the violence with more violence. Bowser then orders his guards to find Luigi and bring him to his castle.
Inside a mansion somewhere, Luigi (scared to death) is hiding from Boos, when suddenly, Princess Peach saves Luigi from a bunch of Boos (snatching most of them and sucking one up inside the vacuum). Luigi is happy that she saved him from the ghosts, but the princess has no time for small talk and then asks Luigi if he wants to join her but he admits he's too scared to face Bowser. Peach is not amused with his excuses. When suddenly; Toad (now a cyborg) shows up to reveal he survived falling into lava during a go-kart race, thanks to Lakitu, and wants to come with Peach and help her. Before they leave, Peach tells Luigi that his brother is dead, and it's up to them to defeat Bowser.
After Cyber-Toad flies Peach away from the mansion, Wario and Waluigi watch from the clouds and plans to get revenge on her soon. Waluigi won't stop breathing through his mouth wide open, (much to Wario's annoyance).
A montage of Peach's Revenge opens; Luigi admits to Princess Peach he was the one who betray Mario and lured him into Bowser's trap. The princess is disgusted with Luigi and kills the green plumber by pulling his brain outta his head!
Peach cries out to Cyber-Toad who's about to sink and be killed by lava, only for him to realize that his half-metal body is build to withstand lava and survives. Later, Cyber-Toad's body is being ripped apart by Wario and Waluigi (he screams he wasn't build to withstand it and dies).
Later, Peach tells Geno to come with her, but he tells the princess that she's let vengeance consume her for too long, and he's had enough of letting it consume him.
Eventually, Princess Peach (now wearing an eyepatch and boots, and her hair cut short) finally reaches Bowser's castle and prepares to invade it!
Inside the castle, Bowser is tired of Peach sending out notes about her revenge, and dumps out the heads she keeps sending in the mail. Bowser even mentions his mailman has suffered PTSD from having to mail in too many heads. Out of nowhere, Peach breaks into the castle and slices the Piranha Plant the Koopa King was talking to (upset that she got the plant's blood on his throne). Bowser--begging for his life--tells Peach she's making a mistake, but Peach tells him waiting 7 years for revenge was a big mistake and cuts off Bowser's limbs with her parasol!
Before Peach could find his cloaca, she hears someone clapping their hands from the background. Mario reveals himself to be alive--much to her shock--and told her he'd faked his death with Bowser's help (it was actually Guiseppe in disguise the whole time). She then asks why Mario would do that, the plumber explains he was sick of his adventures and wants his life back. He'd mentioned that he signed a contract with Nintendo that can only be broken if he died. Peach then ask what about her; Mario told the princess she means nothing to him, and is just a plot device waiting to be rescued, Peach is not pleased to hear this.
She decided to change her revenge goal since the plumber was alive the whole time, prepares to kill Mario for being a traitorous asshole. After a brief fight with Mario's sword and Peach's parasol (Mario didn't expect the princess to have one with her), Bowser is seen lying on the floor helplessly, watches it happen off-screen! Seconds later, he is shocked to see she lived up to the hype of 7 years for revenge! The Koopa King then asks Peach to give him a mercy kill before she leaves since he can't move without limbs, but tells him she's no longer in the killing mood now she's gotten her revenge.
As Princess Peach rides on a motorcycle, she finally got her revenge, just different than what she'd originally planned. And wonders what to do next now that it's over, decides she'll bake herself a cake.
Trivia[]
- This version of Princess Peach made a cameo in "The End of Dorkly?" from Dorkly's If Pokémon Trainers Were Smart series.
Videos[]
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 Villains
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