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Villain Overview
This pathetic world will end under my wrath. The New Elite and Aton are still out there planning my downfall, but these fools wont live long enough to see it. The multiverse is mine. I lurk over this realm as the supreme master. Your suffering is my ecstasy. All who ally themselves with Aton will burn in the eternal flames of your sins. Do you think you can escape me? Tiny, silly insignificant fool. It's too late to try to stop what has been foretold for eons long past. Everything you care about, all of the secrets you have kept, all you know has changed. The good thoughts are now gone. Your worst nightmares are now reality. This is your nightmare for me to control. I wont let you go and I wont let you leave this nightmare alive. You will suffer the same demise as the rest. Let's see if you can make it.
~ Zalgo during the opening narration of "Legends of the Multiverse Part 7".


Z̘̠̟̮̘̹̣a̸̰͉̗̹̟͙'̴̠̭̼͇̰̗̬l̗g͏̻͔̪̮a̧͚̰t͓͕́oth̵̭̬̱̥ or most commonly Zalgo, is the overarching and overall main antagonist of the webcomic series Pastamonsters. He is an unseen background character in Season 1, a minor antagonist in Season 2, one of the main antagonists of Season 3, and the main antagonist of Season 4.

He is the absolute supreme ruler of The Pit and an immensely powerful demon. He is also Slenderman and Splendorman's "not so loving" father. He is a malevolent and mysterious entity of chaos and evil that lives in a palace of tortured souls known as the Pit, served by legions of monsters forged from the tears of the undead, and each one clad in armor carved from the concentrated suffering of grieving mothers. He also is said to live within all mankind, waiting for the thin glass wall within them to crack, so that he may take over. His real name is Z'algatoth and he has an army of followers who wish to bring about his coming.

Born from The Great Lord long before the creation of out universe, Zalgo has loomed over the multiverse for eons. Zalgo is also known for his mysterious demeanor, sadistic sense of humor, manipulative ways and desire for total chaos.

Personality

Zalgo is evil personified. The darkest soul in the Under Realm. To him, all that is good and innocent must be destroyed. That is his will, his desire. Here is your truth.
~ Slenderman to the Proxies.


Zalgo is evil incarnate; he embodies the very essence of a satanic overlord. He has ruled the Pit for well over a trillion years and does not take kindly to disobedience. He views the very concept of peace and kindness as ridiculous and laughs at the idea of showing it. Zalgo is responsible for countless genocides, with planets, galaxies, villages, and small settlements being completely destroyed, alongside all their inhabitants, while nature itself is left to rot or decimated to make room for Zalgo's strongholds. It is likely that religions are also affected, given Zalgo's loathing towards all that are good and sacred. While Zalgo has recreated numerous planets into his own image, he is often just as satisfied with leaving entire areas barren wastelands, seeing the carnage as reminders of his power to the general populace. Atrocities are a daily occurrence since Zalgo's rule, as he welcomes demonic henchmen from across the universe and provides them with areas that are still fully occupied, entrusting the new arrivals to wipe the populaces from any planets. The lives he corrupts, ruins, and destroys hold no merit to him, and he himself admits the more people suffer, the funnier he finds it. He demonstrates that he is different from many other monsters throughout the series, as he commits acts of atrocities against humanity merely because the suffering of others amuses him.

Zalgo seems to display symptoms of antisocial personality disorder. While Zalgo is a being of pure evil and not human in any way, much of his behavior does resemble what a violent psychopath may act like in real life. Zalgo only cares about expanding his vast empire and maintaining his reign of terror, and making all of his subjects as miserable as possible just for his own sadistic pleasures. He also sometimes puts on a (halfheartedly) friendly facade over his sadism and cruelty. Furthermore, he's very manipulative and calculating. One of Zalgo's main traits is that he is incredibly prideful of himself, believing that he will always win in the end and as such he brushes off all of his opponents as "mortal fools". This was shown when he did the same thing to the Proxies and later to the the New Elite, even though they very clearly stood a chance of beating him.

One of Zalgo's main traits is his reputation of being a terrible boss. Unlike Slenderman, Zalgo doesn't even bother the memorize the names of his many henchmen, preferring to just refer to them as their species or even names like "Henchman #21". Zalgo also frequently murders his men out of irritation, aggravation, or even simply for pleasure, and is shown to show no care or empathy whatsoever for any of his men, even referring to them as mere "cannon fodder". Despite the constant annoyance from his royal adviser, the Shadowlurker, Zalgo has never shown any desire to kill him (though he has killed him on one occasion, only to revive him to make him suffer longer). Aside from this, Zalgo views Shadowlurker as disposable, looking down on him with contempt and regularly tortures him for minor infractions. Shadowlurker also mentions that Zalgo enjoys randomly torturing Shadowlurker whenever he can for absolutely no reason. It is also heavily implied that Zalgo is similarly abusive to X as well. Zalgo is also a kind of person who does not like to repeat the same thing twice, since he sees others as mindless animals who need to be ordered around and expects everyone to be subservient to him. He's a liar who is manipulative, hypocritical and dishonest to the people who trust him. Due to his power that he has over his officers and other members of his army, he is very selfish and doesn't care about anyone's life except even his own.

He is also very masochistic, as he enjoys hurting himself, as seen when he tortures Masky's body while possessing it, even ripping the entire skin off of his arm, right down to flesh and bone. Zalgo also had no issues with killing, torturing or hurting children like BEN, Sally Williams, and Slenderman and Splendorman in their youth, to speak nothing of the hundreds, if not thousands of his own children he murdered after they failed to inherent his demonic powers. He also trapped a young Alice Liddell in a warped version of Wonderland after she failed to complete a deal with her.

When he was faced with opposition, Zalgo found enjoyment in slaughtering thousands of rebel armies with ease, and often made one's circumstances even worse than death if they still longed to fight him. Such was the case of Oliver Ubiquitous when he tried to stop Zalgo from destroying his planet. As punishment, Zalgo cursed Oliver, turning him into a monster now known as Mr. Widemouth, and imprisoned him into the Pit and forced him to watch as he slaughtered everyone that he loved, destroyed his kingdom, placed him within the depths of a mountain, and refused to grant him a warrior's death and join his people in the afterlife.

Despite seeming like a serious and pure evil demon, Zalgo possesses a dry sense of humor and a strong sense of theatrics, often joking when he was in a good mood and mocked his enemies and allies alike whenever and however he could. For instance, in the final part of "Legends of the Multiverse", Zalgo made a joke about paper as he turned Eyeless Jack into immobile shreds of paper. Zalgo also enjoys making very over-the-top and show-offy entrances, like when he entered his throne room playing a piano and singing "We'll Meet Again" while surrounded by flames. Zalgo was also rather "genre savvy", and occasionally broke the fourth wall or lamp-shaded either his own villainous tendencies or various cliche situations. Despite being a frequent source of comedy in the comic, his comedic moments don't detract from his villainy; but rather punctuate it, and many of the jokes surrounding Zalgo is just how twisted he can be to the world around him. Many of the jokes are rather dark and when Zalgo decides to get serious, he's treated seriously and he's by far the most terrifying thing in the series. The series itself is pretty nonsensical, but Zalgo's treated seriously by the standards of the show and many of his more serious moments are among the darkest in the show.

One of Zalgo's most defining traits is his utter hatred of mortal beings. He openly views humans as garbage and takes great enjoyment in slaughtering and enslaving mortals, rarely, if ever, letting them join his army. Despite this, Zalgo seemed to completely understand humans enough to manipulate them into one-sided deals. He has made deals with millions, possibly billions, of people, and nearly all of them have ended in the dealer suffering a horrible fate in the long run, mostly because whatever Zalgo wants far outweighs anything they could want. For example, Alice Liddell made a deal with Zalgo - in return for a way out of Wonderland and returning home to her family, she would have the sacrifice one of her family members. When she refused to give up her father's soul (which, of course, he knew would happen), Zalgo cursed her with immortality and forced her to live in a twisted version of Wonderland (now dubbed Underland) for the rest of her life, never able to join her family on Earth again. Zalgo also lacks empathy towards anyone he makes deals with, as evident by him calling the Unwanted House Guest a "pleb" after he had tricked him into freeing him from banishment. Zalgo also seems to have knowledge of how to use human feelings of hatred and anger to his favor. He is an expert manipulator and a masterful liar, he is clearly capable of fooling others into trusting him long enough for him to betray them in a heartbeat, and is falsely affable enough to influence others into playing pawns or making deals with him (which he will almost always double-cross to his advantage).

Despite his egocentricity, insanity and ruthless belief of mass chaos and destruction, Zalgo seemed to have fallen into a lustful love with Akira, who would later become Slenderman's mother. He gave her a home in his castle after slaughtering her family so she could be his. But when he realized that love was a weakness, and would distract him from his self-appointed plan of omnicide, he had his men send her to the mines to murder her. He claims to have regretted doing so, but he went through with it, and when Slenderman reacts angrily to this news, Zalgo drops all pretense of guilt. This is a redeeming quality Zalgo went out of his way to destroy.

Despite his vast knowledge of the multiverse and all its inhabitants, Zalgo actually seems confused by the concept of human morality, finding it ridiculous and "weird" that humans would care for one another. However, this might be subverted with one simple fact: Zalgo is a sadist. Zalgo is shown at various times to fully comprehend human morality to the fullest and knows exactly how to manipulate them, and Zalgo knows full and well he's absolutely wicked and cruel (in fact, he's quite proud of it). He demonstrates this in front of Shadowlurker, but the sticking point is that Slenderman after Zalgo reveals what he plans to do to the multiverse to endear himself to Slenderman, calls him insane. Zalgo responds with “I'm insane either way, brainiac!” Coupled with the fact Zalgo clearly enjoys delivering pain and misery into living beings and one cannot solidly dismiss Zalgo's actions completely under his bizarre origins, because he clearly understands humans and he knows understands the beings he's tormenting are in agony but refuses to relent because the suffering of others amuses him. Zalgo is very openly sadistic and the true nature of Zalgo's species/being is too vague to really call these natural parts of his morality. In some cases, he goes out of way to do horribly cruel things simply to show how bad he is. His inability to understand why humans care for each other is way more along the lines of him not comprehending the concept of kindness, and ultimately, Zalgo's little more than a complete and utter psychopath who openly acknowledges and takes pride in this fact.

For an ancient and powerful demonic overlord, Zalgo is ultimately rather petty and immature. His motivation for trying to conquer the multiverse is simply to have fun, all the while treating everything with a dark sense of humor. Not to mention that he easily gets bored or irritated when things aren't going his way. Zalgo acts like a spoiled brat when he doesn't get his way, and in general can get explosively angry fairly easily. For example, when he learned that he and his minions were unable to enter Aton's realm, Zalgo responded by killing at least two of his henchmen with red lightning and screamed and cussed in anger. He also lost his temper when Enderman closed off his deal with him, and threw a chair at one of his henchman when the New Elite escaped his hydra trap. Sometimes his anger can even impede his desire to complete his goals, perhaps most infamously shown when Zalgo planned to murder BEN and Sally for disfiguring him and mocking him, even though he needed them alive to blackmail Jeff. He is also shown to be a bit of an attention hog, as shown when he calls Masky when he's in the hospital recovering from Zalgo's possession of his body, he keeps rambling about how there is no escape from him, then gets agitated and rants when Masky nonchalantly puts him on hold.

However, in his final moments, Zalgo is shown to be absolutely terrified of dying as seen when being exploited by his own weakness. When Jeff, BEN, Sally, and Smile Dog beat and corner him in, he pathetically begs for his life and tries to offer Jeff power and his own universe. He was so afraid of death that he couldn't face it with any dignity.

Overall, Zalgo is nothing but a arrogant sadist who seems to take pleasure only in fear and suffering. At first seeming innocent, his true colors are hinted at when he torched his own family, even watching them burn with glee. After becoming leader of the Pit, however, Zalgo really showed his true colors, causing multiple wars simply to sit back and enjoy the chaos unfold. Viewing his own wife as a slave, he frequently abused her and had her humiliated, beaten, threatened her with death and rape, and threatened he would hunt down and kill their children if she ran away with them. Among his many cruel acts, Zalgo trapped a young Alice Liddell in Underland, tortured the Shadowlurker countless times, cursed Mr. Widemouth and destroyed his home planet, ordered a crowd of peasants executed because one of them threw trash at him, forces his starved prisoners to kill each other in exchange for their freedom, at the risk of being killed anyway, tricked Jeff into permanently killing his family's souls for no other reason than his own personal amusement enjoyment, and eventually kills and skins the Unwanted House Guest and taunts Jeff over his death. When he found out a way into Aton's realm, Zalgo planned on going on a multiverse-scaled killing spree to satisfy his bloodlust as soon as he has finished with the Proxies and Aton. In the end, Zalgo was merely a vicious, vengeful dictator who believed ruling meant everyone was his to torment.

Appearance

Zalgo is a jet-skinned demon with spiked horns on his head. He had red sclera with black, snake-line pupils, one of which was larger than the other, and has red fangs that appear to be constantly leaking blood. He has no visible neck, as such his head always appears to be floating from his body. He is shown to have sharp and elongated shoulders and on his chest are three smiling mouths used for eating and absorbing energy. He also has several mouths all across his body and wears a flowing, red cape. In earlier episodes he was depicted with a glossy, black, spiral cane. His eyes also light up slightly whenever he speaks, although they for some reason don't do this in later episodes. When angry or enraged, Zalgo's eyes gain a red mist around them and glow bright red to the point where his pupils aren't visible. If necessary, Zalgo's body or eyes can portray images similarly to a television screen, all of which are seemingly what he is thinking about at the time.

In his Infinite Zalgo form upon reaching full power, Zalgo appears as a formless, endless number of Zalgo's face and eyes across space-time, however the faces are entirely red other than their pupils which are black.

In the "Legends of the Multiverse" finale, Zalgo assumes his most horrifying and terrible form of all, that of a colossal red version of himself with six different arms, multiple spikes on his horns and head, three eyes protruding from the top of his head, three additional eyes, gigantic bat wings, six legs resembling a spider, sharp teeth, and the mouths on his abdomen resembling an evil smile. He assumes this form when hunting down BEN and Sally.

While possessing a person, that person's body will take on a pale tone to their skin, and their eyes will appear red with black slits, similar to his own.

Victims

  • His original family (presumably burned to death)
  • Countless alien races (slaughtered to get Aton's attention at the start of the Great Monster War)
  • The entire population of Mr. Widemouth's planet (slaughtered, burned, and blown up)
  • Countless unnamed children (killed when they failed to inherit Zalgo's abilities)
  • Akira (enslaved and starved to death by Zalgo to prevent getting in the way of his plans)
  • The citizens of Shadowlurker's homeland (killed to complete Shadowlurker's training)
  • Shadowlurker (killed for failing to stop the green surge; although he was later revived by Zalgo himself)
  • Flame-Head (murdered for not giving him the coordinates of a planet)
  • Gróa's husband (killed by the Shadowlurker under Zalgo's orders)
  • Gróa (killed by X under Zalgo's orders when she refused to give him the Unwanted House Guest)
  • The Unwanted House Guest (devoured by X under Zalgo's orders)
  • Time God (disintegrated by Zalgo instantly)
  • Aton's Elite (disintegrated)
  • Almost every Arcosian present during the Battle of Arcosia (killed for opposing him)
  • Slenderman (magic absorbed; although Slenderman was later revived)
  • Two unnamed demonic henchman (killed in a fit of rage)
  • The entire population of the Under Realm (killed for opposing him; although they, along with the Under Realm, were later restored)

Relationships

Family

  • The Great Lord † - Creator
  • Unnamed Father † - Father and Victim
  • Unnamed Mother † - Mother and Victim
  • Sexual Offenderman - Brother and Enemy
  • Death - Possible brother
  • Akira † - Wife turned Victim
  • Hundreds, if not thousands of other wives - Wives
  • Hundreds, if not thousands of children † - Children turned Victims
  • Slenderman - Disowned son turned Attempted Murderer and brief Victim
  • Splendorman - Son and Attempted Victim
  • Slenderwoman - Former daughter-in-law
  • Trenderman - Nephew
  • Slenderson - Grandson
  • Several other grandchildren

Allies

  • X † - Left-Hand Man
  • Minions of Zalgo - Subordinates
  • Steppenwolf † - Subordinate
  • Stukka † - Subordinate
  • Flagg † - Subordinate
  • Randy † - Subordinate

Enemies

  • Aton - Archenemy and Attempted Victim
  • The Shadowlurker - Royal Adviser turned Killer
  • The Unwanted House Guest † - Archenemy and Victim
  • Jeff the Killer † - Archenemy, Attempted Victim, and Attempted Killer
  • BEN - Enemy and Past-life victim
  • Ms. P - Enemy and Attempted Victim
  • Smile Dog - Enemy, Attempted Killer and Attempted Victim
  • Eyeless Jack - Enemy turned Ally turned Attempted Killer
  • Masky - Enemy, Attempted Victim and brief body host
  • Hoodie - Enemy and Attempted Victim
  • Sally Williams - Past-life victim and enemy
  • Ticci Tobey - Enemy and Attempted Victim
  • Laughing Jack † - Enemy and Attempted Victim
  • Natalie Clockwork - Enemy and attempted Victim
  • President Bush - Enemy and Attempted Victim
  • Rick Bernstein - Enemy and Attempted Victim
  • Ducky - Enemy and Attempted Victim
  • Enderman - Former Ally turned Enemy
  • The Rake - Former Ally turned Enemy
  • B.O.B - Former Ally turned Enemy
  • Herobrine † - Enemy
  • Mancala † - Former Ally turned Attempted Victim
  • Mr. Widemouth - Former Ally turned Enemy and Attempted Victim
  • Flame-Head † - Former Ally turned Victim
  • Mayor Bigmouth - Enemy and Attempted Victim
  • Skeet - Enemy and Attempted Victim
  • Mr. Mandavi - Enemy and Attempted Victim
  • Aton's Elite - Archenemies
    • Hera - Enemy, Attempted Killer and Attempted Victim
    • Speedy - Enemy, Attempted Killer and Attempted Victim
    • Toog - Enemy, Attempted Killer and Attempted Victim
    • Jil'Nor - Enemy, Attempted Killer and Attempted Victim
    • Cronus - Enemy, Attempted Killer and Attempted Victim
  • Alice Liddell - Enemy, Attempted Killer and Attempted Victim
  • Princess Atta - Enemy and Attempted Victim
  • The Arocsian Army † - Enemies and Victims
  • Nick the Endoskeleton † - Opposition

Powers and Abilities

Despite not being quite as powerful as Aton, Zalgo is still one of the most powerful cosmic entities to ever live and is still not without his own set of nigh-omnipotent powers.

  • Interdimensional Entity Physiology: Zalgo is an interdimensional being and thus possesses much of same physical constitution and abilities from his species. Despite his large size, Zalgo possesses incredible godlike strength, speed, shapeshifting, size-shifting, and reflexes that allow him to overpower and severely injure beings as strong as Slenderman, Splendorman, and Aton's Elite, but also even smaller and highly agile individuals as well, such as Jeff, President Bush, Ticci Tobey, and Eyeless Jack. In addition to his physical power, Zalgo is effectively immortal and does not age beyond his prime, as he reigned for roughly billions of years without any change to his power or appearance. Zalgo also does not have any internal organs or visible genitalia, claiming that he is a "being of pure energy with no weakness".
    • Nigh-Omnipotence: In his "Infinite Zalgo" form (which he obtained after he absorbed Slenderman's powers and the Multiverse Crystals), Zalgo gained nearly omnipotent levels of power, with full control over matter, reality, space, and time itself, making him the second most powerful being in all of the universes (behind Aton) and wielding such near-limitless levels of power that allows him to do almost anything he desires effortlessly. With this level of power, Zalgo is invincible and nigh-undefeatable, to the point that the only way to subdue him is for him to lower his guard, which Shadowlurker took advantage of to help the New Elite defeat Zalgo.
    • Energy Manipulation: Zalgo had complete control over the destructive force of his powers. Due to his strong understanding and familiarity with his demonic abilities, he is capable of creating a wide plethora of versatile and dangerous capabilities, such as firing beams of energy from his body. Typically, whenever Zalgo activates his powers, his eyes glow bright red.
      • Pyrokinetic Abilities/Immunity: Zalgo was born within the fires of the Pit, thus he is capable of manipulating it, bathing in, and producing flames and lava alike. He was capable of incinerating entire civilizations with just a touch of his claws. He also produced enough lava to flood an entire planet and can use his powers to perform a wide variety of techniques, such as the rapid creation of flame henchman, spikes, and walls. He can use his magic to propel himself across a flame surface. Zalgo also displayed the ability create flame demons and imbue them with life, enabling them to move of their own accord. This ability can manifest itself consciously, as was the case with his demonic henchmen. When Zalgo's fire struck people, it passes through the heart with magic and instantly melts the person to death. Zalgo also is clearly not bothered by the heat, preferring most of his homes be in hellish wastelands and fiery dimensions like the Pit; he was seen casually living in his fiery hell known as the Pit without exhibiting any signs of discomfort. And as many souls would burn and suffer the unbearable heat, Zalgo remained casual and unharmed, a further indication of Zalgo's affinity to the heat.
    • Force-Field Generation: Zalgo can manipulate energy reserves to manifest extremely powerful red force-fields of energy capable of instantly vaporizing the weapons of the Arcosian army, and even blocking the energy of Ms. P's magic-based attacks.
    • Super-Strength: Despite not looking very muscular, Zalgo is shown to be very physically strong, as he is able to pick up and play with an entire planet like they were basketballs. He also easily overpowered and practically toyed with the Proxies and their allies when they engaged him in a physical fight, and was able to overpower Slenderman's tendrils when the latter tried to subdue him in them.
    • Shape-Shifting: Zalgo can immediately transform itself into any kind of being, regardless of the size or nature of the form. Zalgo took the form of a giant statue, a tiny scorpion, a dragon, a hydra, a chimera, a giant black octopus, a giant spider, a demonic gorilla, flying leeches, a cat, a human, and an even more demonic version of himself during his final battle with the Proxies. He is also capable of shapeshifting into other beings and able to perfectly imitate their voices, such as when he secretly shifted into BEN to steal Slenderman's safe code from the Proxies. Between shapeshifting, Zalgo is an orange glowing lava-like goo.
    • Size-Shifting: Zalgo can grow into enormous or gigantic size and can return to his normal size at will. Zalgo could grow so large that he was able to carve his name into entire planets and even take a massive bite out of said planets. He is also able to increase the size of his body parts as he did with his fist.
    • Dream-Walking: Living up to being called a "Dream Demon", Zalgo could enter the dreams of anyone he desires, and could even warp said dreams to his liking. This was shown during his "friendship" with the Unwanted House Guest, where Zalgo could enter his mind whenever he wanted to play friendly games with him and continue building the Multiverse Portal. Zalgo could also enter the dreams of other powerful beings, as shown when he entered Slenderman's mind to get the combination to the safe after making a deal with Enderman.
    • Pain Inducement: Zalgo was able to use his powers as a very effective form of torture by exposing an individual to the energy of his powers to cause them to tremendous pain and can limit the amount of energy sent into the body of said being to avoid killing them. This was potent enough to cause Slenderman excruciating amounts of pain. He can also use this ability as a permanent (or at least as long as he's alive) curse on others, as shown with the Shadowlurker. The pain is compared to being stabbed with pins and needles and also keeps Shadowlurker sleepless, incredibly paranoid, and aggravated.
    • Black Breath: Zalgo could create a poisoning mist know as Black Breath to act as deterrent to those who wanted to steal his treasures or enter his lair without permission. Only the pure Sword of Splendorman could dispel it.
    • Intangibility: Zalgo had the ability to phase through solid matter with ease. This ability also applies to other beings and their attacks, allowing them and their magical blasts or weapons to harmlessly pass through Zalgo's body. Zalgo is also capable of making other beings intangible in order to phase and unphase objects out of space, rendering them incorporeal and just as easily make them corporeal again, as he easily made Hoodie intangible when he tried to attack Zalgo and then rendered it corporeal again to trap him in solid stone.
    • Telekinesis: Zalgo was very proficient in telekinesis, utilizing it either as an offensive attack or simply as a means of displaying his power, the latter being most prevalent when he used the ability to levitate small objects or throw an entire person across a large distance.
    • Soul Removal: Zalgo was capable of removing the soul from a living being in order to possess their bodies. In this state, the soulless cannot interact with living beings unless they possess someone else or an object, and if their physical bodies are destroyed, they will become trapped in the Pit forever.
    • Absorption: Zalgo had the ability to absorb anything - whether it was energy or other living beings - and use it for to strengthen his own power. While doing this, Zalgo opens the mouth on his abdomen and the essence and power within the object he is absorbing will travel inside his mouth and body. This was shown when he absorbed the powers of the Multiverse Crystals, allowing him to fully corrupt the entire multiverse. He also absorbed Slenderman in a very similar way.
    • Weather Manipulation: Zalgo had the ability to manipulate the weather to his own desire, such as creating massive earthquakes, storms that struck red lightning and screaming blood tornadoes.
    • Sonic Scream: Zalgo can produce very powerful and demonic screams powerful enough to cause space-quakes and deafen people.
    • Immortality: A significant aspect of Zalgo's power-set is that Zalgo is ageless and immortal. He requires no sustenance, such as sleep, food or water, and cannot be harmed by mortal methods. Only the power of mystical sources like Aton's magic, Slenderman's powers, or divine entities are capable of hurting him and bring about his destruction. The Unwanted House Guest, who had very high knowledge of Zalgo, also stated that Zalgo was older than our galaxy, and several episodes show Zalgo being around several eons before the creation of our universe. He also can bestow this ability as a curse as he once did to the Mr. Widemouth so that he will be imprisoned for eternity and unable to join his friends and family in the afterlife.
    • Teleporting: Zalgo can teleport from any location without losing energy. He could even teleport across dimensions, as seen when he teleported from the Under Realm back to his lair in the Pit, and then to Arcosia and other assorted locations. Although a useful and pragmatic ability, Zalgo doesn't exploit it too much in combat.
    • Reality-Warping: Zalgo was an incredibly impressive reality warper, and it is as such one of his favorite and most utilized abilities. He at one point turned a planet into a giant gold coin and was also the one that turned Wonderland into the twisted wasteland it is now. He also turned Slenderman's projectile attacks into stuffed animals, spawned a plastic toy duck and then turned it into tarantulas, turned an entire army into stone statues, and turned half of the New Elite into banners (Bush into a wooden decoy duck). Zalgo can also transform organic matter and distort the physical world, and cause a ripple in the space-time continuum that can potentially have destructive and devastating effects on space. After absorbing Slenderman and the Multiverse Crystals, Zalgo's powers grows stronger to the point he can manipulate reality on a multiversal scale. It is also implied that Zalgo can involuntarily alter reality due to his own power and appearance, as seen when Enderman summoned him. During the summoning, the sky turned red, all water in the area turned to blood, and time around the two froze. In addition, Zalgo could also bring inanimate objects to life, such as when his "weirdness wave" brought the Under Realm's water tower, various trees, and even a planet to life.
      • Matter Transmutation: Zalgo is capable of warping the bodies of a living organism, as he easily turned President Bush into a wooden duck decoy, Splendorman into a golden statue, and most of the New Elite into puppets and latter banners for his castle, although it is only temporary, as they were all eventually returned to their original form after Zalgo's death. During their transformed state, Zalgo's victims are still conscious and aware of what is happening around them, as evidenced with the screaming faces on the New Elite banner. They are unable to communicate with anyone, and unlikely to be removed from this situation — not even by death — anytime unless Zalgo releases them.
    • Invisibility: Zalgo can make himself invisible to the naked eye. However, magical beings like Slenderman are immune to this trickery, as he is merely able to sense Zalgo's presence and detect where he is.
    • Flight/Interstellar Travel: Zalgo is capable of flying both in air and across space at amazing speeds well beyond the speed of light.
      • Levitation: Zalgo can "fly" several feet off the ground and slowly descend back to the ground with ease. And while doing this he can dash upward and he will gain altitude quickly before descending.
    • Enhanced Hearing: Zalgo was able to hear what Jeff and his friends were talking about while inside space. It should be noted how this is physically impossible considering sound cannot travel through space.
    • Spying: Zalgo is also able to look through the eye of anything that is made in his image, allowing him to know what occurs even when he is not present, as shown with the Cult of Zalgo's statue, the banner of him in the White House, and the painting of Zalgo in the Unwanted House Guest's house.
    • Madness Inducement: Zalgo had the ability to affect the sanity of other beings, usually in a manner that causes them to become insane. One peek at Zalgo drove Malitch to insanity and even caused him to lose his memory. Despite being a very useful ability, this was the only occasion Zalgo used this power, which is interesting considering Malitch had seen Zalgo in person several times prior. It is possible that Zalgo's Madness Inducement is entirely by his choice, only affecting those he wants to get affected by it.
    • Fourth-Wall Awareness: Zalgo is fully aware he is a fictional character in a webcomic and even claims that he can "see" the viewers and hear them breathing. He also was able to warp the comic's intro into a demonic version of it featuring him.
    • Brainwashing: Zalgo has the power of brainwashing several minds simultaneously. This also suggests that Zalgo has the ability to erase particular things from a person's memory or knowledge, as shown during his brutal brainwashing of the Shadowlurker.
    • Possession: Zalgo can possess people, whether they made a deal with him or out of his own will. While in the host's body, their eyes turn into Zalgo's red eyes. Generally, it appears that the weaker willed succumb to Zalgo's powerful mind control much faster. This ability presumably has no effect on Slenderman, Splendorman, or the Shadowlurker.
    • Corruption: One of Zalgo's most powerful abilities. Using dark magic, Zalgo could mutate normally harmless beings into monstrous versions of themselves. During one of his encounters with the Unwanted House Guest, Zalgo used that ability and transformed three small trolls into monsters in order to trick the Unwanted House Guest into killing them. It was also shown that if the corrupted creature died, the spell was broken and the creature transformed back to its original form. Zalgo could also corrupt Slenderman into turning into his true demonic form by manipulating the dakr essence that was still in his body.
    • Healing/Regeneration: Zalgo can heal himself from any given injury in quick succession, making him extremely difficult to kill. His healing factor even allows him to heal from a single cell or drop of essence. It's also heavily implied that his healing so powerful that he is able to regenerate even if his physical body is completely destroyed. However, divine power and objects are capable of nullifying his healing factor, rendering him unable to regenerate.
    • Earth Manipulation: Zalgo can cause earthquakes, move mountains and even shift a planet's tectonic plates using telekinesis.
    • Pocket Reality Creation: Zalgo had the ability to create a pocket dimension, a small personal world in which he has absolute control over its aspects. This was shown when he created Sallyland, a dream world for Sally Williams full of sentient creatures in order to trap and imprison her within with its temptations.
    • Gravity Manipulation: Zalgo has the ability to turn off gravity around him to where it only affects those around him.
    • Resurrection: Zalgo had the hidden ability to resurrect once-dead beings back to life. Unlike his necromancy ability, this ability fully restores the beings to their original form and personality. Zalgo used this ability only once to restore Slenderman when he was mercy-killed by Ms. P, only to kill Slenderman again and take his power. It's also heavily suggested in the finale that he can resurrect himself should he be killed, but so far this is unlikely.
    • Matter Manipulation: Zalgo was capable of controlling matter, being able to remove the atoms in organic beings and re-shape them into another for, or even remove them reality.
    • Necromancy: Zalgo was capable of resurrecting the dead and bending them to do his bidding or simply let them run rampant.
    • Portal Creation: Zalgo had the ability to open gateways to any part of the universe or other dimensions, allowing him to effortlessly teleport himself to anywhere he desires at will. As such, Zalgo instantly warped himself to the Under Realm, the Pit and later Arcosia with ease. He can also take others with him, warping both himself, X and Shadowlurker out of the Under Realm upon capturing the Multiverse Crystals.
    • Curse-Bearing: Zalgo was capable of putting curses on people or even entire landscapes. In terms of people, Zalgo could turn them into monsters against their will and even bestow immortality upon them to prolong their suffering, as show with Mr. Widemouth. Zalgo's curses also worked on entire landscapes, as he cursed the realm of Wonderland into becoming a dark, desolate wasteland and turned its inhabitants into monsters as well. He also cursed Shadowlurker with a spell that caused him crippling pain almost all the time, causing Shadowlurker to suffer from sleep deprivation and agony.
    • Elasticity: Zalgo can stretch and extend his limbs without any consequences.
    • Light Manipulation: Zalgo is capable of emitting a powerful light upon teleporting, essentially blinding whoever was looking at him.
    • Power Bestowment: Zalgo has the power to grant other beings power as well, both as a curse or a gift. This was shown when he gave Mr. Widemouth and Alice Liddell immortality in order to prolong their suffering. He also gave Shadowlurker powerful abilities similar to his own, making Shadowlurker incredibly powerful without the need to train his abilities.
    • Precognition: Zalgo has the ability to foresee the future and future events. This is best showcased when he was able to foresee the destruction of the Ender-bot and implied at one point that Alice Liddell would die from a heart attack when she was 92. He also once implied he knew the exact time and date of Jeff's death and asked Jeff if he wanted to hear it, although Jeff did not take interest in Zalgo's question. How he was unable to foresee Shadowlurker's betrayal and his own death is likely just Plot Induced Stupidity.

  • Dealing: One of Zalgo's most noticeable abilities is that he can make a deal with someone to give the said someone who made a deal with him fame, power, or a request. Zalgo's hand become surrounded in a red flame and once the person exchange a hand shake, while the flame doesn't harm the person, the deal will be sealed. However, once the deal is sealed, Zalgo will want something in return that often ends up in his twisted methods. If the person breaks the deal, Zalgo's powers won't have any effects on him, as Enderman broke his deal with him when Zalgo failed to get the combination for Slenderman's safe. Also, making deals is the only way Zalgo's powers could have an effect but only to the ones who made a deal with him.
  • Extraordinary Intelligence: Aside from being monstrously powerful, Zalgo is incredibly cunning in smart to such a level that borders nigh-omniscience. He is said to know "lots of things", such as the truth of many well-known conspiracies as well as future events, like the destruction of Ender-bot and that Splendorman would return. He also has vast knowledge of the multiverse and it's many artifacts and planets.
  • Manipulation: Another one of Zalgo's traits is that he is quite manipulative. Zalgo can flatter others, deceiving them by promising them anything, he can go as far to make deals with them only to betray at the end. Zalgo manipulated Masky on how he sacrificed everything to make the Proxies happy while they never returns the favor, trapped Sally in a dream that contains her desires, he even tricked the Unwanted House Guest and Enderman, with the former admitting he lied and the latter being a skilled deceiver himself.
  • Master Torturer: Zalgo is shown to be highly accomplished and creative in many fields of torture, with his skills in torture being quite famous, as Shadowlurker implied Zalgo can cause so much suffering to the New Elite that they would beg for death itself. His mastery of torturing techniques allows him to inflict the maximum amount of damage without killing the subject, as when he tortured a young Splendorman and Slenderman in their childhoods. Zalgo even used his powers to slowly rip Shadowlurker's arms off, but he was casually able to give Shadowlurker immortality in order to cause him severe pain without killing him. The torture was effective enough that Shadowlurker claims that he would rather die than be tortured by Zalgo.

Despite his omnipotent powers and immunity, Zalgo does have a few weaknesses. 

  • Divine Power: Other god-like beings, such as Slenderman and Alton, are capable of killing and harming him.
  • BEN's Black Stuff: BEN's Black Stuff is capable of melting Zalgo's skin on contact and even capable of nullifying his healing factor. This is because BEN's Black Stuff was created by Aton, thus technically making it a holy object.
  • Arrogance: Although he is undeniably one of the most powerful characters in the entire series, he underestimates everyone else. He constantly and publicly belittles his loyal minions while showing everyone else less respect than even that. He is so sure of his victory and minion's loyalty, and so confident in the belief that his immensely strong demonic abilities render him essentially untouchable, that he is utterly blindsided and left puzzled when his henchmen disobey him or his enemies gain the upper hand.

  • Name: Zalgo
  • Origin: Pastamonsters
  • Gender: Genderless.
  • Age: Over a trillion eons old.
  • Tier: 2-C| High 2-A
  • Attack Potency: Universe Level+, likely far higher (destroyed at least two universes "as a baby". The Pastamonsters novel, which is entirely canon, further backed up the Unwanted House Guest's claim that Zalgo is a threat to the multiverse. A multiverse that has been stated to be infinite numerous times.) | Multiverse level+ (in this state, he became one with the multiverse and overid its law and order. Additionally, he was even shown to have merged all universes together, universes that are said to be infinite.)
  • Speed: Massively FTL (capable of interstellar travel), likely Omnipresent within the Pit | Omnipresent (became one with spacetime)
  • Lifting Strength: Class E, likely higher | Unknown
  • Striking Speed: Universal | Unknown
  • Durability: Universe Level+ (survived multiple attacks from Slenderman) | Unknown (he was never shown to be hurt by anything)
  • Stamina: Incredibly high, if not limitless
  • Intelligence: 'Extraordinary Genius level (Is said to know "lots of things", such as the truth of many well-known conspiracies as well as future events, like the destruction of the Ender-bot and knew that Shadowlurker would discover his past. Zalgo is also able to look through the eye of anything that is made in his image, allowing him to know what occurs even when he isn't around as shown with the Children of Zalgo's statue and the painting of Zalgo in the Unwanted House Guest's home. He is aware and can view infinite versions of himself in infinite timelines and knows of the past and future.)

Key: Base Form | After absorbing Slenderman and the Multiverse Crystals

Zalgo (Pastamonsters)'s statistics

Power/Magic
11/10
Combat
9/10
Intelligence
11/10
Leadership
7/10
Sadism and Cruelty
12/10

Quotes

Part One

Mercy is for the weak!
~ Zalgo's motto


For eons I have terrorized this land. Every miserable creature trembled at the mere mention of my name. The pitiful mortals fright before my astounding power. But now, I am openly mocked by these measly urchins. Tales of Aton's heroics have spread through the multiverse like a virus, but I will cure the multiverse of this plague of hope. I will unleash such evil that even the most innocent soul will be consumed by terror!
~ Zalgo's speech to his army.


As far as the eye can see, the land is deoslute and full of despair. Shadows crawl across the Pit and block out the light. Darkness oozes from every crevice. Hope has been eradicated. Only terror reigns. Yet, there is one that mocks my omnipresent evil with his existence. He possesses the power which could destroy me. They call him... Aton!
~ Zalgo to a young Slenderman.


Children, to me.
~ Zalgo summoning the Children of Zalgo.


Mortals are nothing more than a disease and an unfortunate coincidence. Together, we will wipe this filth off the face of the multiverse and remind all who is the master of this multiverse. NOW BEGONE!
~ Zalgo to the Cult of Zalgo.


Such fragile creatures you are.
~ Zalgo slaughtering and taunting villagers.


I call it my Magnum Opus. It is my purpose... and now it is yours as well. It's beautiful. Over thousands of years... I traveled across the cosmos, studying the little skin puppets known as mortals. Spoiler alert: Mortal life is booooooring! I needed to spice up their lives and to do that I needed to unleash my friends upon theme to show them a good time. I need to fulfill life's one true purpose... To grow and spread... covering all that exists... until everything is... Me! I only had one problem: Aton. I hate to admit it but even I am no match for that fat idiot. One single divine being cannot stop Aton. But two divine beings... Well, now, that just might do. Out of all my labors... the most beguiling was... attempting to graft my divine genes with that of another species. I hoped the result of such a coupling would be enough... to help me conquer the multiverse. I had your uncle, Sexual Offenderman, deliver some of them to me. It broke his moral code, but I compensated him generously... and to ease his conscience, I said I'd never hurt them. But one after the other, they failed me. Not one of them carried the godly genes. Until you, Slenderman. Out of all my spawns... only you carried the connection to the light. For the first time in my existence... I am truly not alone!!!!
~ Zalgo revealing his plans to Slenderman.


Zalgo: What is it, son?
Slenderman: My brother...
Zalgo: No, no no.. That's called compassion, Slenderman. We are beyond such a ridiculous concept.
Slenderman: Yes.
Zalgo: Good. Now..
Slenderman: But my mother.
Zalgo: Yeah?
Slenderman: You said.. You loved my mother.
Zalgo: Ah, good ol' Akira. I returned to the mortal realm to see her three times. And I knew if I stayed with her too long.. I'd never leave. The Magnum Opus, the reason for my very existence would be over, so I did what I had to do. And... I sent her to the mines.
Slenderman: ...What?
Zalgo: (chuckles) Now I- I know that sounds bad, but.. (Slenderman blasts Zalgo repeatedly with magic bolts, putting multiple holes in his body that begin to slowly regenerate) Who... in the FUCK do you think you are?!
Slenderman: YOU KILLED MY MOTHER, SENT MY BROTHER AWAY!! YOU'VE TAKEN EVERYTHING FROM ME!!!
Zalgo: I tried so hard to find the form... (shape-shifts into Akira) that best suited you! And this is the thanks I get?! (morphs back to normal) You really need to grow up!!
~ Zalgo reveals that he killed killed Slenderman's mother.


Yours screams remind me of the sound of your mother's bones breaking.
~ Zalgo taunting Slenderman.


Zalgo: You might have beaten me now...But I will destroy you in the future
Slenderman: There is no future for you, Zalgo.
Zalgo: I disagree. (shoots a portal towards Slenderman)
Slenderman: What trickery is this? ZALG- (the portal sends Slenderman to the Under Realm)
Zalgo: Do not worry, Slenderman. We'll meet again. But next time you will not be so fortunate.
~ Zalgo sends Slenderman to the Under Realm.


He is stronger than I remember. But no matter. For you see, Slenderman, the world is mine! My eyes and ears are everywhere, nothing you do will go unseen! Quest as you may, gather as many so-called "Proxies" as you want, but we will meet again when I see fit, in the time and place of my choosing! I'll wait centuries if I have to! You'll slip up eventually and when you do it is I who shall put an end to the war started in that age long past, Slenderman! Ha, ha, ha, ha!
~ Zalgo in the Pit, swearing vengeance after being defeated by Slenderman.


Part Two

I'ḿ̱̪̦̫̩̫͕͉̝͓̀́ ̕͠͏͓̬̝̫̟͘s̢̱͙̤̱̘̮̼͟t̵̨̼̮̠͕͚̬̳͈̯̭̠̼̯̩̀̕i̶̺̬͈̦̹̰͓͚͎͖̜̯͉̠͟l̡̢͏̹̝̺͇̹̲̫̦͙͙͜l̸̛̺̘̞͙̠͟͠ ̶̡̙̳͚̜͚̲̼̥͝h̵̪̪̗̜̠̪͘͜ͅͅe̴̶̳͈̙̞͖̠̮̟̼̞̳͖̼̕̕͜ͅͅŗ҉̳̦̬̗̜͈̣͇̤̦̮͈̭͎͞e̸̡͏͎̙͔͕̮͍̱̞̰͖̬̹͖̠̩̥
~ Zalgo's secret message in the comic's intro.


Zalgo:Oh, oh, Under Realm, it is good to be back! Name's Lord Zalgo and I take it you're some kind of living Lincoln Log? (laughs) Just kidding, I don't know who you are, Enderman.
Enderman: W-what are you? H-how do you know my name?
Zalgo: Oh, I know lots of things! (*voice changes*) Lots of things.
~ Zalgo's first lines in the entire series.


Enderman: Listen to me, demon! I have a job for you. I need you to enter the mind of Slenderman and steal the code to his safe.
Zalgo: Ha ha! Wait... Slenderman... (his eyes flash to show pictures of Slenderman and his tattoo) You know what, Blockhead? You've convinced me. I'm sold! I'll help you with this and in return you can help me with something I've been working on! We'll work out the details later!
Enderman: Deal!
Zalgo: (his hand lights on red fire and he shakes hands with Enderman) Well, time to invade Slenderman's mind! This should be fun!
~ Enderman and Zalgo make a deal.


Ah, Slenderman's Proxies, or some of them at least, we meet at last! Long Neck, Teddy Bear, some kinda Joker Reject, and Zelda, I had a hunch I might bump into you!
~ Zalgo meets Ms. P, Sally, Jeff, and BEN for the first time.


Hah, fat chance! I refuse to be bested by children! I'm the master of the mind. I even know what you're thinking right now!
~ Zalgo to Sally.


Hahahahaha!! You kids are adorable! Now turn around and I might let you live.
~ Zalgo taunting the Proxies.


OH, the look—HAHAHAH—on your FACE! Ahaha! "BEN, noo!" Ahahahah!! You thought— your.. friend... Died!!! Ahahahahahahahaha!!! Boy, you kids sure are gullible! (Laughs) It's funny how dumb you are.
~ Zalgo mocking Ms. P and Sally's reaction to BEN's "death".


The combination to Slendy's safe. Boy, that was even easier then I thought! See ya, suckers!
~ Zalgo to the Proxies.


YOU! You can't even imagine what you just cost me! Do you have any idea what I'm like (voices changes to a low, demonic tone) WHEN I'M MAD??!!
~ Zalgo's villainous breakdown.


EAT NIGHTMARES!!
~ Zalgo to the Proxies.


GO TO SLEEP. ...Hahaha!! Get it? That's your stupid one liner. Hoo boy, I crack myself up. But now I gotta kill ya, so it was nice knowing you. Oh wait, it WASN'T!!!
~ Zalgo to Jeff.


Zalgo: I'm been impressed with you guys. You're more clever than you look. Especially the ugly one.
Jeff: (to Ms. P) He's talking about you.
Zalgo: So I'm gonna let you kids off the hook. You might come in handy later. BUT KNOW THIS: A darkness approaches. A day will come in the future where everything you care about will change...until then I'll be watching you! I'll be watching you...
~ Zalgo's warning to Jeff, Ms. P, BEN and Sally.


You worthless slime! I'll have you for dinner, you worm! I'll eat every last mortal in this world, I'll devour you all just as I had all the others! HA!! HA!! HA!! HA!! HA!! HA!!
~ Zalgo as he takes control of Slenderman.


Zalgo: What pitiable persons have you brought before my all-enshrouding greatness?
Shadowlurker: Trespassers who invaded the Human World without proper clearance and tariffs, my lord.
Zalgo: Hmmm. Well, what have you to say for yourselves?
Princess Atta: Great lord Zalgo, I am Att, Princess of Arcosia. My brother Prince Astor, and our assistant Chitron 6. Salutations, o Wise and Powerful One! I must say, it's an honor. We humbly beg your forgiveness for our trespass. We meant no offense and certainly no conspiracy. We are on an urgent mission, for our homeworld, Arcosia is under attack from those vile Squoomians. They have attacked out lands and laid siege on our capital! As the palace burned, our parents sent us into space with orders to recall our star navy and bring them home to repel this heinous attack. But our ship was damaged and forced us to land. Again, we appeal to you, most wise and powerful one. Lord Squoomian is murdering out friends, children.... We ask only time enough to repair our ship, so that we may depart and trouble you no more, (bows respectfully) o gracious Zalgo
Zalgo: Tsk. Tsk. Such a sad story! Whatever can I do to put an end to this tragic tale...I know! Shadowlurker, have their ship confiscated! X, throw them in irons and take them down into the mines where they can live miserably ever after! (X chains the twins)
Chitron: You can't do that! These are royal heirs to the throne of Arcosia! You can't just- (Zalgo crushes the robot with his finger)
Princess Atta: Chitron! You can't do this, you monster!
Zalgo: Oh, I certainly can! I am Zalgo! This world is Zalgo, and everything in it is ZALGO! Shadowlurker, shoo these moths away.
Prince Astor: You beast! Devil! VILLAIN!
Zalgo: HAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!
~ Zalgo unlawfully imprisons the Arcosian siblings.


Name's Zalgo! And your name's Jeffery Woods, the man who killed his family. Rumor is.. I heard you finally befriended Eyeless Jack! Nice work. No, really! I applaud you! Too bad you couldn't keep him alive. But I'm getting ahead of ourselves; let's relax! Care for a game of interdimensional chess? Have a cup of tea.
~ Zalgo pretending to be nice to Jeff.


Zalgo: Look, Joker, I know we've had our problems in the past, but it seems an ancient artifact that may or may not be able to defeat me is out there and I need your generous assistance getting him back.
Jeff: Yeah? Well, why should I give a fuck? All you've done is tried to kill me and my friends.
Zalgo: (laughs) I hear you! Now, what's in it for you? Well, as soon as I dispose of that little crystal, I'll give you... your family back?
Jeff: Bullshit!
Zalgo: No, seriously! I have their souls in the Pit! Help me destroy that crystal and you can get all the family time your little dark heart desires. Now.. do we have ourselves a deal?
~ Zalgo making a deal with Jeff.


Jeff: What have you done?
Zalgo:HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Yes, Jeffery. You have been betrayed. That wasn't the crystal you destroyed, it was your family's souls! I destroyed that silly thing eons ago!
Jeff: We made a deal you cocksucker!
Zalgo:Actually, if you remember correctly, our deal was at best implied, and even then (points to himself) bad guy! ...You see Jeffrey, you may think this is cruelty, but this is actually a lesson; No matter how hard you try, you will always be alone! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! FOOOOL!
Jeff: Fight me, YOU DICKHEAD!
Zalgo: Soon enough, Jeffery, but not until I find a way to defeat you and Slenderman. Now, what was I saying? Oh, yes! You will always be alone.. but I will never be alone as long as I have you. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
~ Zalgo deceives Jeff.


Foolish, unknowing, innocent little Proxies. Little do you know that the path l have chosen for you will lead you to your doom! HAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!
~ Zalgo tricking the Proxies.


Enderman: Do you have them where we want them?
Zalgo: (in hologram form) Of course! Those silly Proxies get stupider everyday.
Enderman: Excellent. I just hope you don't screw up like you did last time.
Zalgo: Relax, Blocky Boy. Also, I don't quite like your tone. (Snaps fingers; Enderman is levitated in the air and dropped into a pool)
Enderman: AAAAAAAAHHHH!!! MY FLESH IS MELTING!!! MAKE IT STOP!!!
Zalgo: HA! HA! HA! HA! Alright, but as long as you remember who the true master is! Now run along, worm. I have better things to do than play with my toys. HA! HA! HAAAA!!
~ Zalgo asserting his dominance over Enderman.


(on the phone) AHAHAHAHAA!!! Yes, I can hold. (Sits complacently) Yes. I would like to place an order for delivery. (person on the other end speaks) Zalgo. I think I'm in the computer....YES! That's it. I'd like a large— WHAT?! Huh? EXTRA THICC!!! Thirty minutes or it's free? EXCELLENT!!! HAAAAHAHAHAHAAA!!!
~ Zalgo ordering a shipment of henchmen.


It's funny really, how pathetically easy it was to manipulate him... Poor little Eyeless Jack, bullied by his friends. Just wanting to help out, desperate for help and attention. So sad, so hopeless, just needing a friend. Wanting to run with the big dogs. He was so easy to manipulate, Jacky! And once we were "friends", it was all so clear. Using him as a pawn was so wonderfully obvious! You may have not known it, but this whole time I was always there. Watching him be rejected and abused by Jeff, mocked by all the girls, and made fun of by none other than you, Tobey! I sat patiently and waited until he finally achieved some sort of happiness, and just waited for the right moment to swoop in and take it all. It was like lining up dominoes. It all fell together so perfectly. While he was working under Enderman, I was in my throneroom, planning. ...You know, I really should thank you and the other Proxies, Tobey. All of this could have been avoided if you would've just let him in on your childish games. Any regrets, Tobester? Looking forward to the wasteland that your life is about to become? After Eyeless Jack destroys this universe and has his fun with all of you, I'll give him a proper sendoff: by betraying him and trapping his tormented soul in the Pit for all eternity. HAA-HAHAHAHA-HAAA!!!
~ Zalgo revealing himself as the true villain in "To Proxy Mountain".


You can no longer deny it, Eyeless Jack is now nothing more than a toy at my disposal. As of now, you, your friends and he, belong to ME.
~ Zalgo taunting Ticci Tobey.


By the end of today I will have you and your friends screaming for mercy, I guarantee that.
~ Zalgo to Eyeless Jack and Jeff.


Come now. I can't have you giving up after such a glancing blow. No, I'm afraid your torment is only just beginning. There are so many horrors I have yet to show you.
~ Zalgo during his fight with Jeff.


How's that? Are you beginning to regret you're foolish decision to the defy me? Or shall I remind you of your place, you worthless, inferior insect?!
~ Zalgo taunting Jeff.


Before you die, Jeffery, tell me. How did it feel killing him? You can convince yourself it was an accident, but we all know the truth.
~ Zalgo taunting Jeff about Eyeless Jack's death.


Zalgo: Well, would you look at that. It looks like I was wrong, for once. Looks like your friends really do care about you, Jack. And you care about them...(*Voice turns deep*) D͍̙̤̜O̴̯͍͙͜N̦̱̖̥̹̤͕͜͞'̨͕̣̥̝̮̙͙̲͎͢T͍̩̞͢ ̠͚̭̮͍̬͚͘Y͎̪͓͕̤O҉̙̻͔U̼͎̲̣͢?!
Eyeless Jack: What are you.. No! NO!
Zalgo: Perhaps killing your friends will make you think twice about this betrayal.
~ Zalgo to Eyeless Jack before torturing Jeff.


Do your worst, inferior one!
~ Zalgo before his defeat in To Proxy Mountain.


I think I know a guy!
~ Zalgo returns in front of Masky.


Well, well, well! You're awfully persistent, Masky! Hats off to you!
~ Zalgo to Masky.


Did you miss me? Admit it, you missed me!
~ Zalgo to Masky.


Hahaha... The point is, I like you. How's about you let me give you a hint, huh? I only ask for a small - (Voice gets low and hand and eye light on fire) FAVOR (Normal:) - in return.
~ Zalgo to Masky.


Right, you "defeated me", sure. Well if you ever change your mind (pretends to grab Masky's brain) I'll be here for you, ready to make a deeaaall. Hey, wanna hear my impression of you in about three seconds? AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!
~ Zalgo to Masky.


Masky: Uh, what crazy thing do you want anyway? To eat my soul? To rip out my teeth? Are you gonna replace my eyes with baby heads or something?
Zalgo: Yeesh, relax. All I want is a puppet!
Masky: A puppet? What are you playing at?
Zalgo Everyone loves puppets. And it looks to me that you've got a surplus.
~ Zalgo making a deal with Masky.


Seems to me one little puppet is a small price to pay to learn all the secrets of the universe. Besides, what have your friends done for you, lately? How many times have you sacrificed for them, huh? And when have they ever returned the favor? Tick tock, mortal.
~ Zalgo manipulating Masky


Masky: So which puppet are you going to pick?
Zalgo:Hmm, let's see... eenie... meanie.. miney... YOU.
~ Zalgo preparing to possess Masky.


Sorry, Masky, but you're my puppet now!
~ Zalgo to Masky.


You humans never fail to slink back down a couple rungs on that evolutionary ladder. All your advances in medicine, science, exploring space, all your good will - just when you think you've got it all together - you revert and devolve into the animals that you are.
~ Zalgo after tricking Masky.


Zalgo: Man, it has been so long since I've inhabited a body. (slaps himself in the face) Woo! (slaps the other cheek) Woo! How the hell did all this skin get on my arm? (rips the skin on his left arm off, revealing bone and muscle)
Masky: HOLY SHIT!!! (covers his eyes) Put it back, put it back!
Zalgo: Haha! Pain is hilarious!! And a beating heart? Lungs? A NOSE?! This thing's deluxe!
~ Zalgo after taking Masky's body.


Masky, you've been getting way too close to figuring out some major answers. I've got big plans comin' and I don't need you or your friends gettin' in my way. Destroying that laptop was a cinch. Now I just need to destroy those notes. Race ya to the bottom of the stairs! (tips backward and tumbles down the stairs)
~ Zalgo to Masky's soul after taking his body.


Oooh, is this bleach? This is what the cool kids drink! I'm gonna drink it like a human! (He pours it into his face and eyes, laughing.) Where do you keep those damn notes anyway? (Opens a drawer and reaches in, slamming the drawer on his arm repeatedly) It's gotta be around here somewhere. (Continues slamming drawer, occasionally wincing) Boy, these arms are durable.
~ Zalgo (possessing Masky) searching for the Unwanted House Guest's notes across Proxy Mansion.


Heh! welcome to the mindscape, kid! Without a vessel to possess, you're basically a ghost!
~ Zalgo to Masky's soul.


Masky: I'm gonna stop you, Zalgo! I'm gonna find those notes before you do and I'm gonna stop you!!
Zalgo: But how can you stop me.... If you don't exist? AHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!
~ Zalgo to Masky.


Sally: M- Masky?
Zalgo: Masky's not here right now! But if you'd like, you can leave a message!
Sally: (gasps) Zalgo Masky? Zalsky!
~ Zalgo reveals he has possessed Masky's body to Sally.


Please, give me those notes, Sally. It's getting dark in here. Why are you hiding? I mean, I'm still technically your friend, right? I promise I won't kill anyone else, okay? NOW GIVE ME THOSE FUCKING NOTES, YOU LITTLE SHIT!! GIVE ME THE DAMN NOTES!
~ Zalgo, still in Masky's possessed body, chasing Sally through the vault.


Bold of you to assume you worms have a chance of beating me. Hey, Jeffrey, wanna hear the exact time and date of your death?
~ Zalgo (in Masky's body) taunting Jeff, Ms. P, and Masky.


Jeff: I say unto the... the power of Aton compels you!
Zalgo: Oh, does it? Does it compel me?
Jeff: The power of Aton compels you!
Zalgo: Does it, Jeff? Is the power of Aton compelling me? Is that what's happening?
Jeff: The power of Aton compels you!
Zalgo: Guess what? It's not that compelling.
~ Jeff trying to exorcise Masky.


Ah! What is this feeling? (Wheezing) My body is burning! I can't move these stupid noodle legs! Curse you, useless flesh sticks! Body...shutting down... infection... spreading... through the body... ... Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa whoa.. hey!
~ Zalgo beginning to feel the effects and weaknesses of being a mortal.


You can't defeat me! Big things are coming! I'm a being of pure energy with no weakness! I'LL BE BACK!!! (begins speaking in reverse) !!!HGIN SI ESPYLACOPA EHT .OGLAZ DROL FO WODAHS EHT NI REVIUQ LLIW UOY .EREH SI SYAD FO DNE EHT .DOOLB FO REVIR A NI NWORD LLIW UOY
~ Zalgo after being exorcised out of Masky's body by Hoodie.


Zalgo: (to Masky on the phone) Hello? Hello, hello? Oh, hey. This is one call you probably weren’t expecting.
Masky: How?
Zalgo: It’s probably obvious now, but I didn’t die in that exorcism. And when the police raided that vault they also found some rather incriminating evidence on those security cameras...or what was left of them anyway. I thought to give you one last ring. For old time sake, to remind you there is no where you can go where I won’t find you. There’s no place you can hide that I won’t kill you. And I’ll think about it every night until I get out of here and when I do I-
Masky: I’m sorry, Can I put you on hold for a minute? Thanks.
Zalgo: What? No! You can't put me on hold! I AM LORD ZALGO AND YOU WILL NOT PUT ME ON HOLD!! I WILL CHEW YOUR SOUL UP AND SPIT IT OUT YOU PATHETIC LITTLE BU- (Masky tosses the phone in a nearby trash can before casually walking off)


NO PUPPET STRINGS CAN HOLD ME DOWN.
SO PATIENTLY I WATCH THIS REALM.
ABNORMAL SOON WILL BE THE NORM.
ENJOY THE CALM BEFORE THE STORM.
~ A cryptogram from Zalgo's perspective at the end of "Grand Theft Masky", a warning of Zalgo's second coming.


Part Three

HAAAAHAHAHAHAAA!!! FOOOOL! You were so blinded by your quest to find your WORTHLESS family that you couldn't see the truth right in front of your face!
~ Zalgo (in disguise) mocking Alice Liddell for falling for his trap.


Zalgo: Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well! Aren't you a sight for sore eye! Alice Liddell, my have you grown!
Alice: YOU MONSTER!! (she tries to attack Zalgo but he immobilizes her in a magic beam)
Zalgo:Whoa, don't have a heart attack, you're not 92 yet.
~ Zalgo after seeing Alice Liddell again.


Zalgo: Hoho! Looks like Mr. Brainiac finally got smart! Let's just say that when that portal finishes charging up, your dimension is gonna learn how to party! (looks at his minions through the portal) Right, guys?
The Unwanted House Guest: I trusted you as a friend, Zalgo! I shared my hopes and dreams with you! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS?!
Zalgo: Meh, one thing you gotta know about me, I'm no friend of anyone. Especially not a worthless freak like you.
The Unwanted House Guest: No.. I'll stop you. I'm shutting the portal down!!
Zalgo: A deal's a deal, pleb! You can't stop a bridge between our worlds from coming, but it'll be fun to kick back and watch you try! Cute even!
~ Zalgo betraying the Unwanted House Guest.


I guess I can't possess any of the Proxies, so I'll just have to find my next pawn on the OUTSIDE. (Eyes flashes between several characters)
~ Zalgo after the Proxies put an anti-demon shield around Proxy Mansion.


Slenderman: Lord Zalgo. What do you want from me?
Zalgo: Oh, quit playing dumb and just call me dad, Slendy! The Proxies already found that one out! (Slenderman tries to talk but Zalgo interrupts) Don't ask me how, let's just say I've done a little spying. You knew I'd be back! You think the Unwanted House Guest shutting down that portal could stop what I have planned? (floats over Slenderman) I've been making deals, chatting with old friends, preparing for the big day! You can't keep the Under Realm or your precious Proxies safe forever. (snaps his fingers and a copy of the Multiverse Crystals appear in his hand) You'll slip up, and when you do...! (crushes and absorbs the fake crystals, where it creates a massive portal in the shape of an upside-down triangle, burning the wheat field around Slenderman)
Slenderman: Enough! Get out of here, demon! You have no power in our world!
Zalgo: Maybe not right now, but things change, Slendy! Things....change.
~ Zalgo and Slenderman.


You are one of my most powerful minions. You possess the ability to steal the essence of the mightiest of warriors or the deadliest of beasts. You have never failed me.
~ Zalgo brainwashing the Shadowlurker.


Thanks, Jeffery! I couldn't have done it without you!
~ Zalgo mockingly thanking Jeff for helping him steal the Multiverse Portal.


Zalgo: And I care because...?
Enderman: B- Because, the Proxies, you've wanted to kill them since forever, they're the bane of your existence?
Zalgo: Oh, that was the Old Zalgo. This is the NEW Zalgo. And he really doesn't care about the pathetic Proxies who wander around like a bunch of mad fools! HAHA! It's hilarious, really. I'll tell you what, you want to destroy them? Maybe even earn a spot as my new minions? Go ahead! Who cares? I certainly don't! Not one bit at all...
~ Zalgo to Enderman's gang.


Zalgo: (Zalgo and X laughs as they capture BEN and Ms. P. Shadowlurker eventually joins in) Shut up! Who said you could laugh? (to Jeff) Face it, Joker. You and your friends belong to me. (Zalgo holds up Jeff's friends in doll form and laughs evilly) And you are going to do whatever I say for the rest of your pathetic lives. You are my slaves, just like Shadowlurker over there.
Jeff: Shadowlurker, you don't need to be anybody's slave. You were Slenderman's best friend. He taught you everything and protected your ass from those bullies. He would never call you a slave!
Zalgo: Don't listen to him, Shadowlurker. That life of yours is over and done with. You serve me now. Now kill him, you sorry excuse for a minion. Get him.
Jeff: Slenderman would've protected you if given the chance. Is this how you're gonna repay us? HE TRUSTED YOU! We gave you a chance to quit this life and you still go back to being Zalgo's little BITCH!
Zalgo: I gave you those incredible powers, expanded your lifespan, and let you live in my palace! Who are you gonna listen to? Him or me? (after a long pause, Shadowlurker knocks Jeff back with a magical attack) HAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! You see? There was no contest.
~ Zalgo preventing Jeff from redeeming the Shadowlurker.


Mancala: The hour is near. It's time for my payment.
Zalgo: Payment? For what? You getting me the Multiverse Crystals? Your wiring must be screwed up because if I remember correctly, you did not get them. I did.
Mancala: We had a deal. I held up my part of the bargain.
Zalgo: Well, you shouldn't have made a deal with the devil! It's common knowledge, Tin Man! (laughs) (Mancala throws a magic blast towards Zalgo, only for Zalgo to turn the blast into a stuffed animal) I granted you these powers, and I can take them away, you bucket of bolts. (blasts Mancala out of his castle) Not much of a threat now, are you?
~ Zalgo betrays Mancala


Zalgo: Now can anyone remind me what I was trying to do?
Shadowlurker: Stopping the Proxies from getting the House Guest's notebooks, sir.
Zalgo: THAT'S RIGHT! Shadowlurker, get me a glass of blood, prepare for an invasion and send out the invites for my taking over the multiverse VIP party. Oh, and X, you've earned a treat, have the Elite for a snack. The day of chaos is upon us, my minions. Now begone.
~ Zalgo preparing to invade more planets and sending X to kill the New Elite


Shadowlurker: Sir... Have you ever loved someone? Cared for someone? Have you ever felt what it's really like love someone?
Zalgo: Nah.
~ Shadowlurker questions Zalgo.


Slenderman.. Your friends have fought valiantly, but in vain. I now speak directly to you. On this night, you have allowed your friends to die for you rather than face me yourself. There is no greater dishonor. Therefor, I have a proposal. My army is currently planning to invade the planet Arcosia. Simply meet with them in Arcosia and it will be just me and you. Can you hear me? Just you and me. Mano A Mano. However.. If you aren't on that miserable rock in due time, I will have my men massacre every last man, woman and child on that planet and destroy it myself. Think it over, will you?
~ Zalgo challenging Slenderman to a fight by telepathically speaking through the heads of him and his allies.


Alright, listen up, you one-lifespan, three-dimensional, five-sense skin puppets! For one trillion years I've been trapped in my own decaying dimension, waiting for the time where I could call the multiverse my own, and that time is upon us. The name's Lord Zalgo. But you can call me your new emperor and master for all of eternity! What's with the long faces? Don't blame me! Blame Slenderman for not showing u- (the army fires all their weaponry at Zalgo, but to no avail)...Okay. On seconds thought, slaughtering you pathetic worms is the perfect warm-up before the fun really begins!
~ Zalgo arriving to the Battle of the Pit.


Oh, I've missed this! Still, it's a a bit of a shame. Good soldiers dying for nothing all because they couldn't see the future. Sad... and pathetic. (sees Jeff, standing injured) Oh, look. Still alive. Change of heart?
~ Zalgo after massacring the Arcosian Army.


s it fun playing the hero for once? Did you like meeting my "friend", Aton? With how long it's been I thought that stupid old clown died years ago, and all for good he could do you, he might as well have. Did you actually think he could help you?
~ Zalgo mocking Jeff.


Honestly, I don't understand why people get so worked up about a little planet's destruction when there is TRILLIONS of other ones!
~ Zalgo before he prepares to destroy Arcosia.


Zalgo: Delighted to see you again, my son... Too bad it also might be the last time.
Slenderman: You're going to suffer for what you did to my mother, Zalgo.
Zalgo: Interesting for you to sacrifice yourself for your worthless Proxies. What have they ever done for you?
Slenderman: Unlike you, Zalgo, I have a sense of honor. The Proxies are under my protection.
Zalgo: I won't have my honor questioned by you.
Slenderman: I'm not questioning your honor. I'm denying it's existence.
Zalgo: What a fool to give up your life....For your underlings.
~ Zalgo and Slenderman's exchange before their final fight.


Slendy, you have to bring out your best to defeat me, and your best part is ME!!
~ Zalgo before corrupting Slenderman.


At last! At long, long last! The Multiverse Crystals have been absorbed! The event 1 billion years prophesied has come to pass! The day has come! THE MULTIVERSE IS FINALLY MINE!
~ Zalgo after absorbing the powers of the Multiverse Crystals.


THE PROPHECY SEEMED FAR AWAY
BUT FINALLY WE'VE REACHED THE DAY.
GIVE UP THE PAST.
EMBRACE THE STRANGE. EVERYTHING YOU CARE ABOUT WILL CHANGE.
~ A cryptograph from Zalgo's perspective seen at the end of "Legends of the Multiverse Part 4: The Battle of Arcosia".


Under Realm, Under Realm, how I've missed you! It's been a century since I've rule this place. But you're in luck! This realm has a new master now and I'm ready to throw this town back in the dark ages! Now meet the gang of interdimensional demons and nightmares I call my friends. X! Shadowlurker! The being whose name must never be said! Haha, what the heck. It's Zanthar. Then of course there's also the Killer Clowns, Shapeshifters, Ogres, Witches, Killer Dolls and Parademons, and these guys. This is our multiverse now, boys!
~ Zalgo and his minions take over the Under Realm.


It's time we do a little redecorating. I could really use a castle of some kind! (Zalgo rises his castle from the ground) And how about some river pools of blood?!? This party never stops! Time is dead and meaning has no meaning! Existence is upside down and the multiverse is mine to torment! WELCOME, ONE AND ALL, TO THE ETERNAL RULE OF LORD ZALGO!!
~ Zalgo finally achieving his goal of multiversal domination.


Ah, nothing beats the sweet sound of hundreds of voices screaming in pain and terror!
~ Zalgo while carving his name into a planet.


Well, well, well. And here I thought today couldn't get any BETTER!
~ Zalgo discovers Ms. P, Jeff, and Smile Dog.


Zalgo: Well isn't this...Í̥͚̣̠͡Ǹ̳͚̤̲̲̠̲̪T̵̙͙͉̝̳̞̺̤̀́Ȩ̷̢̱R̶̷̨͎̱͍E̠͉͚͠Ş͏͙̝̲͖͈͚T̨̛͍͓̻Į̢͕̤Ń̝͓̗̕G̢̢̛̟̱̭. (circles Jeff, Ms. P and Smile Dog) Long Neck, Ugly, and the mutt themselves has come to face me. You think you can stop me? Go ahead, Witch, show me what you've got.
Ms. P: I um... I-
Zalgo: Do it, witch. Do some brilliant spell that takes me down right now. Whattdya got, Long Neck, everyone's waiting. DO IT.
Ms. P: Uhh... DAMMIT!! (she fires a magical blast at Zalgo, who harmlessly catches the blast with his mouths)
Zalgo: Neat trick. Lemme show you what I can do! (he waves his hand and sends Ms. P backward into a tree) That's right. Don't be a hero, girl. Remember what happened to the Unwanted House Guest? The Arcosians? ....Slenderman? That's what happens to heroes in my world. (burns Ms. P's spell book along with Unwanted House Guest's notes)
Ms. P: NO!!! MY SPELL BOOK!!!
Zalgo Yeah, that's right. (faces his henchmen) HENCHMEN!! Whoever kills the witch gets their own universe! Two universes if you kill her boyfriend, three if you kill the dog!
~ Zalgo dealing with Jeff, Ms. P and Smile Dog.


Minions, this new multiverse led by Yours Truly wouldn't be possible without this guy! Give him a demonic round of applause! (the monsters all clap and resume partying) Ok, get outta here. (Zalgo shoos Shadowlurker away) Hahahaha! Go nuts, guys! When we're done partying, I unveil Phase 2.
~ Zalgo during his "King of the Multiverse" ceremony.


Time Police: Open up! This is the Elite. Aton's Elite.
Zalgo: Just play it cool, ditch the time-beer. Let me do the talking.
Cronos: Lord Zalgo.
Zalgo: Aton's elite, seriously? I just got rid of the new one!
Cronos: You are in violation of the rules of space-time, enslaving innocents, massacring entire planets, and worst of all.... Your douchebag demons egged my car! Who the fuck does that?
Time God: Hear this, Zalgo!
Zalgo: Ugh, Time God.
Time God: (projects a hologram of the universe) If your rip in this dimension continues, it could destroy the very fabric of existence! (the universe in the hologram explodes) Surrender now, or face my tantrum!
Zalgo: Oh, no, a tantrum! Whatever will a do about that? HOW 'BOUT THIS?? BOOM! (vaporizes the Time Dog and Aton's Elite; blows the smoke from his finger)
X: Ah, snap! He just killed the Time God! (X and the demons cheer and resumed partying)
~ Zalgo "killing" the Time God and Aton's Elite.


GAME IS OVER, AND I WON.
NOW IT'S TIME TO START THE FUN.
I ALWAYS LOVE CORRUPTING LIVES.
NOW LET'S SEE WHICH PROXY SURVIVES.
~ A cryptograph from Zalgo's perspective at the end of "Legends of the Multiverse Part 5: The Return of Zalgo".


Zalgo: Ladies, gentlemen, that creature with like 87 different faces.
Creature with 88 different faces: 88 different faces!
Zalgo: Whoa-ho, sorry - touchy subject. Anyways, it's been fun turning this multiverse inside out, torching most of it's planets to the ground, rounding up all its terrified inhabitants and then stacking them into this massive throne of frozen mortal agony. Don't worry, they're not conscious anymore. Probably.
Nick's wife: Uh, my omelettes. They-they have friendly faces.
Zalgo: Whoops. Hehe, back, back you go there. But this multiverse is just the beginning. It's time to take our chaos omniversal! Alright boys, to Aton's realm we go. Let's set this world aflame with your evil. This omniverse is OURS! Ah, omniversal domination. I could get used to - (the demons hit an invisible shield and fall down) WHAT??!!! Fools! Of course, only I have to power to destroy the shields. (Zalgo extends his arm and puts hand around the shield, causing it to melt his arm off) AGHHHHH!!!! (a note suddenly appears in front of Zalgo, Zalgo reads it. I reads "Better luck next time, fuckboi - ♥ Aton") DAMN YOU, ATON!!!
X: I think I broke something.
Zalgo: WALK IT OFF!!! This might be more complicated than I thought.
~ Zalgo, ordering his minions to spreed their evil across the omniverse by invading Aton's realm, only to discover there is a barrier keeping all of them, including himself away from Aton's home.


Zalgo: Alright, can anyone explain to me why, even with our newfound INFINITE POWER, (kills two of his henchmen with lightning, Zalgo's eyes glow bright red) none of us can escape the borders of this FUCKING WORTHLESS, PLEB MULTIVERSE!!!! (Sits in throne) There's some kind of force field keeping us in, but who would know how to fix it? Hmm, there was that duck that somehow stopped me...
Shadowlurker: My Lord, the black one failed to stop the Proixes. They are in Sally's bubble as we speak.
Zalgo: Ha! Teddy Bear's bubble is the most diabolical trap I've ever created. It would take a will of titanium not to give into its temptation.
Shadowlurker: In more important news, I've discovered that this New Elite are all powered by Aton's magic. One drop of their blood is the driving force we need to crush Aton's shields.
Zalgo: (Zalgo stares in disbelief before slowly forming an evil grin) Alright then. Shadowlurker, meet me in the throne room in a few more hours. Things just got a little more interesting...
~ Zalgo to Shadowlurker.


ENOUGH! This is not a democracy! We are not in the House of Lords! We are a ship at sea! And when it comes to you worthless spirits, I am captain! SO LISTEN UP, MATEYS! There are six criteria that the Time Police used to determine if a being should be considered supreme. I fit ALL OF THE CRITERIA! The one thing that I do not yet possess is complete control over all lifeforms. I've dreamed of overthrowing Aton and taking over his realm and on that day, I will earn my rightful distinction as master of existence. They won't be able to defeat me even if they wanted to. They would only dream of overthrowing me, and, in my world, dreams are made to be destroyed.
~ Zalgo to his minions after they asked him if ruling Aton's realm was worth it.


Part Four

'We'll meet again. Don't know where. Don't know when. Oh, I know we'll meet again, some sunny day.
~ Zalgo singing at Shadowlurker's appreciation party.


Shadowlurker: What is this, my lord?
Zalgo: You're in the penthouse suite, kid! The tip of the castle. You deserve some recognition for all your hard work these years. Have a drink! Make yourself comfortable. (drinks wine with his abdomen mouth) Y'know that couch is made of living human skin?
~ Zalgo to Shadowlurker.


Ah, sharp as ever, my thin-skinned adviser. As you may have noticed...I've recently had a (Voice echoing:) multiversal makeover. I control space, matter, and now that that dumb clock's out of the way, time itself! But I wasn't always this way. You think those chains are tight? Imagine torturing the same souls everyday. Sure, it never really stops being funny, eventually, you just get tired of torturing the same damn people every single day. So one day i decided screw it! Why torment the mortals in my Dimension, when I could torment the whole Omniverse? Here's just one hitch. As it turns out, my evil can't enter the confines of Aton's realm. There's something keeping me out.
~ Zalgo revealing his motivations for universal conquer.


Listen, Shadowlurker, once I absorb that dumb god's power, finally the Pit will take over. Anything will be possible. I'll remake a fun world-- a better world- for us, of course. For the mortals it will for 24/7 suffering, torture, murder and death. But for you and all the other demons, it'll be a party that never ends with a host that never dies! No more restrictions! No more laws! You'd be one of us. All-powerful. Greater than anything you've imagined! And all I need is your help.
~ Zalgo to Shadowlurker about the intentions of his plans.


Shadowlurker: But, my lord, the New Elite are still out there, planning your defeat!
Zalgo: I will destroy them all! I will take everything they fear to lose! I will destroy them like I did Slenderman! They will all suffer for daring to oppose me! Everyone in the multiverse as well!
Shadowlurker: But if you kill everyone else, you'll have no one to rule!
Zalgo: Hee-Hee-Hee... What's the fun in destruction if there a no "precious" lives lost?
~ The Shadowlurker's realization of Zalgo's villainy.


Well, anyway, for all your years of service, you deserve a reward. Here, have the still-beating heart of a hydra (snaps his fingers and a beating heart appears in Shadowlurker's hands). Now run along and have fun! I have places to be. Mortals aren't gonna torture themselves you know. Ciao!
~ Zalgo to the Shadowlurker.


(Zalgo's castle starts rumbling) Hey, do you hear that? (the Demon-Slayer suddenly punches into the castle) WHAT?! I JUST FIXED THAT DOOR!
~ Zalgo sees the resistance are coming for him.


So the mortals are trying to fight back, huh. Adorable! X, Shadowlurker! TAKE THEM OUT!
~ Zalgo to X and Shadowlurker, upon the New Elite trying to get into Zalgo's fortress.


Minions... To me.
~ Zalgo summoning all of his forces for the Battle of the Multiverse.


I must admit, Jeffrey, It's been fun, but I've grown tired of this universe and its inability to accept the inevitable. After I kill you, I'm gonna burn this stubborn, annoying little universe and everyone within it... to cinders. And I'm gonna enjoy it... very, very much.
~ Zalgo gloating to Jeff that he will destroy the Under Realm and the primary universe.


Zalgo: Whatever game you're playing, it won't work. Not even Slenderman could defeat me. You're nothing. You can't defeat me.
Jeff: Oh, I know....But they can.
~ Zalgo and Jeff, moments before Aton's army, the Proxies, the Under Realm's monsters, the US military, and the Arcosian Army come to Jeff's aid.


HAHAHAHAHA! You are nothing but insignificant insects to Zalgo! And insects get... SQUASHED!! And... Exterminated!
~ Zalgo fighting off the opposing forces during the Battle of the Multiverse.


X... Seriously? You had, like, one job to do here.
~ Zalgo's mundane reaction to X's death.


"Oh no, it's Zalgo!" Right? Isn't that what you're all thinking? Hey, Bigmouth, why aren't you dancing? Chop chop, huh?
~ Zalgo discovering the heroes in his lair.


Ha, ha, ha, ho! This is just too perfect! Didn't you fools know the zodiac doesn't work if you don't all hold hands? And what's better, you've brought every threat to my power together in one easy-to-destroy CIRCLE!!! (destroys the zodiac) HAHAHA!!! That stupid old Aton really messed up making you guys the Multiverse's only hope.
~ Zalgo to the Proxies and their allies as he destroys the Zalgo Zodiac.


Zalgo: (sees Eyeless Jack) Well, well! If it isn't my little former slave! Did ya miss me? Want some of those amazing powers back?
BEN: You leave him alone!
Sally Williams: Yeah, he isn't your slave anymore!
Zalgo: Sure he is! Just look! Hey, Eyeless Jack, you wanna hear a paper joke? (snaps his fingers and turns Eyeless Jack into still-concoius shreds of paper) Never mind, it's TEARable! HAAAHAHAHAHAA!!
~ Zalgo transmutating Eyeless Jack.


Zalgo: Ah, Shadowlurker told me you might have been powered by Aton's magic.
Jeff: Feeling a little scared, Zalgo?
Zalgo: Not at all, Joker! Now I get to rip that essence from your bodies one cell at a time! This day just gets better and better!
~ Zalgo to Jeff.


It's too late for your friends, Jeffery, but you can still have the children. Last time, Jeff, cough up that divine power of yours and I'll spare the kids!
~ Zalgo blackmailing Jeff.


Oh, don't you mess with me, Teddy Bear. I'M.. All.. Powerfu- (BEN throws a handful of Black Stuff at Zalgo's face, which begins to melt his face off) AAAAH!! DAMN INSECTS!!! ARRGHH!!! WHEN MY FACE REGENERATES I'M GONNA RIP YOU LIMB FROM LIMB!!!
~ Zalgo's rage over BEN throwing Black Stuff at his face.


Not so fast. You three wait here! Shadowlurker, hold down the ship. (Turns into an even more demonic version of himself) I've got some children I need to make into CORPSES! (Deep voice:) Seeya real soon.
~ Zalgo to Jeff, Smile, Ms. P, and Shadowlurker before chasing Sally Williams and BEN.


COME HERE KIDDIES!!! COME HERE SO I CAN EAT YOUR SOULS!!!!! YOU TRICKED ME FOR THE LAST TIME!!
~ Zalgo while perusing Sally and BEN across the universe.


Oh, Teddy Bear? Where are you, Teddy Bear? You can run, but you cannot hide, 'CAUSE I CAN SMELL YOUR BLOOD!!
~ Zalgo while hunting Sally.


ALRIGHT, JEFFERY! Time's up! I got the kids! I think I'm gonna kill one of them now, just for the hell of it! EENIE....MEENIE...MINEY...
~ Zalgo forcing Jeff to give up his energy faster by almost killing BEN and Sally.


HAHAHAHA! Oh, even when you're about to die you mortals can't get along, can you?
~ Zalgo mocking Smile Dog's attempts to save Jeff.


Hold on. If you all let me go, I'll give you anything! Money, fame, infinite power, YOUR OWN UNIVERSE! Have mercy! (Jeff leaps in the air and stabs Zalgo with the Sword of Splendorman; Zalgo's power begins to be absorbed) 'NO! What's happening to me?! NRUTER YAM I TAHT REWOP TNEICNA EHT EKOVNI I ,NRUB OT EMOC SAH EMIT YM , .N .O .T .A!
~ Zalgo pathetically begging for his life after being brutally beating by the Proxies.


Shadowlurker! Shadowlurker, help me! ... What are you waiting for you worthless slime?! DON'T JUST STAND THERE!! SAVE ME YOU INFERIOR, SECOND-RATE, WORTHLESS LITTLE BUG!!
Shadowlurker: THAT IS IT! I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU!!! (Sends a blast of energy at Zalgo)
Zalgo: No, WAIT!! SHADOWLURKER!!!
~ Zalgo's last words before being obliterated by the Shadowlurker.


Handbook Entries

LORD ZALGO

Is he watching me?


Zalgo has proven himself to be one of the friendliest and most trustworthy individuals that I've ever encountered in my life. What a guy! I honestly can't trust him more. Not evil in any way, Zalgo is a true gentleman.

DO NOT SUMMON AT ALL COSTS! ZALGO CAN'T BE TRUSTED!

Beware of Zalgo. The most powerful and dangerous creature I've ever encountered. I should have listen to the stories about him. This nightmare in disguise will seduce you with never ending flattery until he gets what he wants- And what he wants is the destruction of reality itself.

I was desperate, so desperate I trusted a demon who murdered his entire family. I sent him back to the Pit from which he came, but he'll be back eventually.

When I summoned Zalgo I found several symbols in a cave. Aton had prophesied that these symbols could create a force strong enough to vanquish Zalgo. I don't recognize any of the symbols, but time will tell what they mean. None of them seem connected to Aton's current elite. Perhaps it belongs to... a New Elite?

Whatever you do, never fall for Zalgo's tricks, and NEVER let him into your mind.

~ Zalgo's entry in the Unwanted House Guest's notes.


Note to self: Possessing people is hilarious! To think of all the sensations I've been missing out on- burning, stabbing, drowning. It's like a buffet tray of fun! Once I unleash the Pit upon the mortal worms, I'll enjoy giving this body the grand finale- by throwing it in the Under Realm's acid pits! Best of all, people will just think Masky lost his mind, and his mental form will just wander in the Pit forever. Want to join him, Zelda?
~ Note left by Zalgo and discovered by BEN after Zalgo possessed Masky, revealing Zalgo's plans to kill Masky and make it look like a suicide


Reddit AMA Quotes

H͖͈̻̰͉̳U̬̰̙̥̰̪M͔͖A̻̜͎͈̼N̬̟̳̝S̥̼ ̺̘͍̘͕ͅͅAR̗͎̗̹̘̣͍E͉ F͎̟͔̙̗̹̹A̘̺̞̘̮̫̟T͕̳̱̝͉͇͎ ͈W͎̖͙̙̪E̲̟̲T͎̲̮̬̦ ̩̮̳͕̱B͖̼̲̹̤ͅA̹̪G͍̩S̖͇͍͖̳̘ ͇̹̝͎͕̝O͓̼F ͔̘̯M̭ḚA͍̯̬̠T ͈W͖I̲͎̤̟̟T̫͓̭H͈͍̖̤̰̬̻E̹R͇̖̩̙͓I̠͉̫̙N̦̺̦̝̻͍̪G̫̮̺͙ ̖̗̘UN̙̦͚D̮̤̮͚̬̣ͅE͙͕̞̻R̟̪̲̦̳͔ ͎͓̹̺̥̳͈T̥̱͖H̟E͈̰̥ ̖͚̗̜̟̖̮O̹̙͈P̻̙̺̜̬̱͉P͈̬͙R͙̬E͚̫̰̲͙̰SS͇̠͕̪͉͔̦I̩̲̝V̞̜͉E̤͔̱͎̜̣͍ ͎͚͇̬̯͖T̹Y͙̱͕R̝̩A͕̬̥͍̩̣N͚̼̞̮̠̳ͅN͈̘͙Y̲̼̗̯̜̺̖ ̤̤̘O̯̫͖̘F̹̻̩ ͍̗T̠̮̻͇I̮M̤͖͙̣̥E̱̦̻͖̩̪͉ ̠̩̩̫̜A͕̞͙̬ͅND̼̹̱̺̫ ̘̣̙̪P̼U͔P̰͖͎̭̱͕ͅP̩̘͖͔͓̮E̫͇̮T̗̯̞̘E̜̼͇̪̪ͅE̲͇R͙͔͚͎̼̜̭E̲̫D̻͍̰͙͎͙̯ ̬͍͍̭BY̼̥͈͕̦̞ ̱̰̱̼͉T͉̺H̲ͅE̠ ̯AR͖̟̜̞͓B̦̱̫̗͖ͅI͇̙T̰̺̱̘̭̱̤R̮̮̖͕̞̟A͔R̞͇Y ͓ͅWHIMS ͔͕̟̤̪̙͇O̪̞̭F̖̬̩̻ͅ ̭͓̞̝N͖̠̱̼̱̹A͚̺͕̠T̫͈̰̣̯͚U͍͙̱R̜̰̬̪A̭̹͔̖L̥̣̠͚ ̗̝̮̬̖SE̳͍̣̻̱̩L̟͍̪͈̣E̻̭̟͕̝ͅC̫̤̫T̪̤̙̻I̤͎͕͚͈ͅO͕̳̲̤̹̦̟N̤̣̙̟̼!̯͉ ̱̹̯̘I ̥̼͙E̬̗NJ̗O̜̖̜̻̣Y̪̜̞͓̤ ̟̰̦̱P̪UT͙͕̠T̰I̤̗N̻͕G͎̠̫̲̬̯ ̙̼̘͍̺̻ON͈̙̫ ͉͕HỤ̰̭ͅM͎̜̪͔̥ͅḀ̻̰N ̗̬͈̮͓̳S͕͇̜̣͔̼̠K̻͙ͅI͔̝̪̟N̟̮̲ ̪̲͈̫̰ͅT̪̥̘H̙̭͇E̟̦͚̺͎̞ ̘͈̖͓̭̬ͅW̫̬̪A͚̯Y͎ ͈͚̙̰̗J͕̞͍͖AC̗K͎͚͔ ͖͎͕̙̩T͕̟̺̹͔̦H̥̦͔E͔͙͚͔ ͎͔RI̩͇̤̪P̘̳̝̖̱̹P͍̞͉E͓̲R EN͕̪̮͔̭J̰̥̗̱O͇Y̺̩̮̣͔̪̜E̗̞D̮̺͓̙͈̙ ̹͖̠̠͓̩WE̩̭A̮̹͉̘͍͓Ṛ͎̺̗̞͔ͅI̖̺͚͈N͎͎͍͉G̦̥̯̪͕ͅ ̩̫̥̲̜̮C͓̞͓̥̗LOW̮̦̟N̻ ̻̘̦͕̫M͙͚͚A͖̙S̜̱̳̥͈ͅḴS̭!̫̫̺̭̪ ͓̘͕̜̠̻
~ Zalgo in response to a question.


A͛̃ͥͬ̾̌Uͮ͛G̋ͨ̊ͧ̚H!ͬ̅ ̑̌ͯD̂O͑̇͆̚N̆̓̽ͦT ̃ͬ̾̆͑ͯRͫ̓̈́ͭ̽ͭEͦ̑̀̐M̎͑̿̈́̓͂̒I͗̾Nͮ̄͗ͣ̓͋D̎̐̆ͬ̀ͥ ͗ͫ̋̄ͪ̈́M͂̐̽E̊͒ͥ̓̂̓ ̏͗̈̓ͮÓ̑̏̅Fͯ ̇͊̇TH͆ͬ͒̄̂̈̑Ä̔̿ͥ̇̔T̓͛͆ͯ͊̓̚ ̑̑Oͥ̓̌ͯ̉͆B͒ͬ͛ͭͩE͛̉͆S̅̇Eͬ͛ B͆O͒M̂͂̇̔̆̌B͛AS͑̓̀̊̑̓T̓̋IC̑͗̄̚ ̉̄̊W̍̀̐̓̈̚O̊͌͆͆ͣRͦ̓͌T̎̂ͩͬ̈́H̃̈́͛L͂̌͛̿͋ͩ̒E̔̒̎͊SŜ͛ͮͪ ̿̽̈ͩ̔ͣ̑T̈̄͌̽Y̾̽ͯ̓̎̀R̍ͫ̔̅̈́̚A̿Nͬ̾̎T! T̔͋̓̏̈ͮHͩ̅ͪ̇̾̇Ǐ̐̽̑̂̚N̓̋K͋͒ͫ͗͊̈́S ̓ͭ̓͂̌H͌É̎'ͣ̋S̀̉̅̈ S͂̽̇̆ͮ̽O͋ Gͩͧ̉R̍̊E͒ͬ͗Aͨ͛̈́͑T̐ͮͥ ͌J̐U͆ͥSͬ͂͑ͬT̓ ͯͦͥ͒Bͧͯ̇̿̏͂̚E͗̔̂̎̎̿̑Cͯͯ͌A̐ͪ̄̒͑ͭ́Ū̏ͤͩͦ̃̍S̓̅̽Eͣ ͤ̓ͦ̐ͯHͥͧͭ̚E̓͆͐͂̿'S̎͗̃̄̈́Aͪ̊̈̾͊̎͐ ̓͑̿̈ͫ̚G̎ͫ͋ͬI̓̓͆͊̆Ȧ̇Nͫ̏̔̀T ̑ͪ̿TAͧ͗Lͭ̒̂͛͋̉̚KĬ͛̓ͨN̒ͣͬG͋ͫ͑̽̓̑ ̃̓̅ͨ̌̉Ċ̑́L̓͆̈́̾̐̏̍Oͫ͛C̑ͩͫͩ̐̐̅K̉̒.̓̎̓ͩͫͬͪ ̀̑́̓W͂ͩ̏H̿ATͥͥ͊ͩS͛̈́̔ ̂̍̏̋́ͤT̽HE͊́̍̇̚ ̒̔P̓͊̈Oͣ̓̽ͫͤI̓̑̋ͥ̏̋̌N̏T̑̐̆̈́̍ ͨ̎͆O̍ͧ̿F͛ ̽R͗ͪͫŮͪ̂͌̀̾̔L̊ͤͪ̎̓͒̚Iͪͭ̆N̓ͯ̾ͬG̍̉ ̿̒̂̋͒T̊͛̈ͤ̇ͤͮH̽̿̇ͣ̊ͯȆ͌͂ͤ͌̒ ́ͣ̑͋͂̓E͌ͣ̄̆ͥNͯͪTͯ̓̃ͩI͌̚R̐̌ͥEͬ̓̈́ͫ ̔F͆̎̊͗UTͬ͆̀U͛́R͒̓͌͒ͥ̊̾Eͩͥ͌ ͬͨ̀̈́Í̌̊F̑͗̃̀ ͭ̉̅͐Ŷ̎ͫȌ̂̇̓̏̉Ǘ̊̒̎̂̈͛ ͊̌͑̆̂DͮÒ̎͊ͥN̏T ͐͒ͧͫ͐̈́H͋͋A̐ͩ̄Vͧ̏́̀͗͂E ̎̉͑O͑ͬBͥJ̔̈ÉͬͯͫͬĊ͗̊̏͗Tͦ̌ ̑͗ͧ̋Pͩ̒͛̅̓E͗͒̚ȐͥM̆A̍̅̀̈̇ͬNͭ̄̋̔̋͋E͑͛̆N͆̅ͪͮ̃̆C͋ͥ͒Eͬ̌̋̏ ́ÁN̄̈D̓̂̊́͛̐̐ ̐Ĝ͗̓͐E̓ͬT͐̇͂ ͪ̽̏̓͐̈C͒ͫ̾̿̃̋̀Lͮ͗OG̐ͯG͐͂̅̌͛̓E̓ͤ̍ͯ͂D͌̌͆ͪ ̿͑̒BYͥ̐̇̉͌ ̆̈́̽ͪͥRͧAͪ̋ͯ̌ͦ̅IN͆̒̓?̇͊̇!͒̇̓ͯ

̽̋̈́̔ ̉I̔'ͤD̑̔̓̋ͥ̈́ ͩ̉ͭ͑DͦI̔̂̌̏ͨ̋S̃ͩ̌ͮͧ̔͆Sͮ̅̒ͬͩ̾E͂͛ͬ̎̆̐M̅ͯ͋͗̐͗͒B̂ͪͫ͊Lͯ̾̿ͯ̾E͊ ̎ͬͮHI̅̏̑̚S̉̊ͯ ̋̏̑̿M͒ͪ̾̅͋Õ͐̄͋L̒͗ͭE̔C͛ͫ͗̄̈U͒ͣ̀ͥL̾̈́̚E͑̂ͥS̿̐ ̅́ͤTͭ̎̌̇̅O ͨ̄̂̅ͣS̾̋̒͆͐͋Ȃ̓ͮ̒ͤ̉Lͯͨ̿͑̋ͯ̈́T̄ͧͯ̉ͥͯ͌ ͩͫͩ͊MY̒ͧ̂͗ͣ ̎M̄ͮ̈́Aͥ́̅̾R̚GͩA̾̊R͗͒͊̇ͧͦITͧ̄A̋̅̉̎͌̈ͨ ̉ͪͬ̏ͪ̚Ȉ͑̾ͥ̍ͫ͑F͐̈́ͪ̅ ͧͣͦĬͩͣ̏͌̌ ̐ͨ̊͊Cͯ̌͂̅Oͤ̒̓͒ŮL͊͂̃͋̿͆ͨDͦ͂́̐,̂̍͑̍̄̃ ͒͂͑̎̒̃Bͮͬ̅ͪͤU͒̈́̄̂ͮ̚T ̇ͤ͐̔̑Ï̋̍̔̈́̅T̉ͥ̐̑́Sͨͤ̈́ͭ̿ ͌̄͑ͦ̓NȮ̂̽͐͒ͣT̒̈͐ ̂ͩ͑Eͬͬͮ̓̀Âͯ͂ͦSͮ̍̈́̃ͯ̎ͯÝ͌͑͌͒͂̄.̈ ͥ̆̓̂̉ͬ́Lͦ̂ͮ̓ͣͯET̐͋͆ͧ̍͒͋ ̈M͆̽ͬ̔̽̿E͌̈̉ ͧͭ͋̆̓̑A̅̂̐S͋̓͋̑̇ͥ͒K̓ͬ͐ͤ̊̆ ͒Y̒̇̽O̅̆͋̓̄̃U̓-̄̿ ̀̑̈́ͦH͋́ͫ̃A̍V͗ͤͦ͆ͩ͗Ȅͪͪ ͊Yͤ͗ͤO͌̈ͤ̽Ǘͬ ͆̒̏͐̆͒E̾ͦ̇ͩ̑ͥVͭͯÊ͂ͦ̃̆Rͯ͑̒́ ͤ̌ͣ͒͂T͑́̚R̿IÈD̓ T̔͌ͤ͐ͪ͆Oͦ́̐͆̂ Pͭͦ̂ͤͪͦ̓U͋ͨ̓̾͗̈́N̈́͌̒̎̆C̓͌́͆͂H́ ̓͂͛Ả ́̆̆9ͪ͆͂ ̅̔ͥ͂̌̒T̈́̇́R͋̇̊̓͛ͫĨͣ̒L͒̄͛͒̒Lͤ̾̏I̍O͆̆ͪ̽ͥ̇Nͯͤ ͣ͂T͌̾ͩͤON̑̔̀ ͥCͥ̓̆HͤͬRO̍́̑̿̃N͐̌͐OGȒȂ̈̎Pͥ̊̿̑ͯH͊̿ͬ̍?̎͆͒̇ ̐͗ͥ͑ͬͧŸ́̉̆Õ̆̔́ͥ̾Û͊͑ͥ̈́ͮR F̌Ȉ̓ͮSͫͮͫ̇̓̊T̏͊ͦ ̒ͦ̃GE̓T͒̿̚Š ̈́͆SŤ͑̍́UͫC̄͆͗̏Kͬ̉́̅ ͧ͂͂Í͗̈́̈́̌ͩ͆N̎̍̃̀̌̇̎ ͌̊̊͊ͪ̓HIͧ̑S̄́ͯ ̉̀͋̽͑̊̔T̚Iͬ̃ͧ͂̓M͆̎́Ë̍̾̔ ͮ̆̍ͥ̆͛T̍͗ͭͯ̈̈́U̾̓́͗ͨ̄R̎̄̌N̈̚ERͥ̾ͮ ̐͒̂̓F̎Ö̓̋ͧ̒̈́̚Rͫ̓ ̒͗A͑ͬ͛ ͥW̑̅́̏͂Ẽ͐͐Ë́K!ͬ̎ ̊̿̈́̈̂͒Iͤ͑͐ͨF͑ I̓̊̑ͤͨ ̉̽̔̋̄͆ͬH͐̍͂ͦAͨ̀ͫ̔D̔ͨ ̓ͨͤ́̾ͥͦPͫͯ̉̂̚Ĥ̿ͧYS̉Iͣ̄̆̌̾̅CAL̒͗̈ͯ̉͆ ̈̌̽F̿͑̾̀͒̐ͤO̽́̍R̋ͥMͬ̚̚.͌.ͣͧ̚.̐̊̽̑̽.̏ͤ́.̈́̀ͩ

~ Zalgo's opinion on the Time God.


I̠ C̭̗̟̟A̠͕̬͚͎N̤͎ ͚̘͎̹̲̺ͅS̹͖̜͍̫E͖͙̥͉̳̠E̥͓̠̖ ̝A̩͔̰̺̖ͅ K̗͔͕̻̞ͅA̼͍̟̭̯LE̺̙̱͖̳̞͔I͍̱D̲͖̰̣OS̩̝̮͉̝͙̭C͔O̙̜͔P̘͔͇̟E̺̳͚̝ ̙͓͈͕̙̮̰O̬̦͈̹F̟͚̤ T͓̖͚̠̳E͍̗̩̫M̝͉͇̰PO̲͕͖̙͉R̜A͕̼̺̱̝̘L̜ ̳̮̖̖͇͖P͉R̬͖O̤͓̥̬B͈A͇̹̦̜̖͖Ḇ̺̘I̱̗͕̤̩͍̦L͇̠̥̞͈I͉͕̙̰͚͉T͍Y̩̠ W͎̼͕͔̭I̯̺̼͖͈̱ͅT̺͇̤̟H͙̻͔̯͙̪ͅ ̦̳͙F̱ͅL̹̠̘̦̻̙U͖̲͓͖̻̮C̬̤͕̙̝T̗U͔̤̮̱A̼͕̘ͅTIN̠̖̯̫͚̙̰G ̯̟̻̪̫̬̫R̗̙A̭̜͎͕N̗G̖̖̯̟E!̙̮̘̝ ̖̖̲̫̠I̫ ̠̞̙̭̟̖C̠͙̜̻̗̮A̩̣̙̦̪̼͓N̯͓̣̙͔̳̟ ̺̺̞̳A̦̲̞͙̥̲L̞̼͍S̠O̭ ̙̥̟͍̠͚S̲̗̤͍̳͕̘E̯̩͖̥E̯̘̙̥͔ͅ T̩͕̳̝H̻̯̪Ḁ͔̹͕̞͔̹Ṱ̳̞̯̤̭ͅ ͙͚̝̳͈̯T̘̗̯̦̙̭̫H̗Ḛ̟R͔̺E̟ ̩̙̳͚A̯͖̫͎R̟̮͙͖̟E̱̻͉̼̩̟ ̲͍̦̯ͅI̜͎̫N̖F̯̲̠̱IN͉̹͍̘I̯̫͚T̠͕͈̞̪̪̯E̮͕̙̖̪ ͈͍̲͚AL̫̲̺͓̭̩TE̜̤̺̠͖̻̝R͉͓̯̘͉NA̟̹̩̱̫̥̹Ṭ̳̼E̠ͅ ̼V̞̠E̲̟͓̪̱RS̰̱̤͕͙̞I̜O̺̱̣͍͕̻N̘͈S̰̣͙̬͚̫ ͇̻̪O͚̮̖̜F̞ ͇M̰̦͍̥̬E̺̣͙̹̺̭͎ ̩̤͇I͚̩N̫͚ I̫͎N͕͇̤̻̯̝̫FI͔͚N̙̰̖̘I̖Ț̜E͎̙͇͉̬̱ A͇͍̠̻͍LT͎̲̱ͅͅE͈̭͇̺͓̝R̜̮NẠ̻̤̠T̝Ḛ͉ ͇D͓͎̙̟̟I̠̻͓̯͙ͅM̤̪͓E̯͙̜N̩͚͖̘͙̙̰S̳̤̱͖̰̥̹Ḭ̜̪͎̻̜̳O̗̲̗͙͚̭N͍͓͍̰̞̯̲S ̲̩̦̜̭̤A̼̠NS͕̭̠W̝̹̟E͕̠̝̦̮͎R̖IN͉G̰̘ ̺̤͔̺̺Y̠̼͖̜͈ỌU̙̙̱̰R̳̝̞̤͙ ̤̠̯Q̪͔̘̗ͅU͈͕͚E͖͔̥͇̪̹͈S̺T̻̪͉̤̣I̩̼̦O̫̤̻N͙̻ ̟̪̜̭͈̼W̳̮̘̩̳͚͖I̞̙̪͚T͔͍̞̫͔̯Ḫ͈͓̜̰̫̙ ̩̙͚̺I͎̤̠N͕̹F͖̗̺̝͉ͅI͇̗̪N̙̮̞̹͇͎I̟͔̹̼͔T̼E V̰AR̤̱̥̼I̼̠͚A̘̤͔͈̻̖ͅTIO̳̠͇ͅN̲̻ͅ! ̱O̜̪N̺̤̜͓E̥̙̖̬̰̤̩ ͖͇̟͎̞̻ͅO̖̤F͓̩̝͓͔̰̲ TͅH̭͙̳E͉͔͍̜̲̝̮M ̯̤̲̻͓̥̖A͈̞N͔͇͉͓̯̭SW͉ER̥E͓͖̜̘̦ͅD̳ ̱̬͈̻B̰̩̺̠Y̗̣̖̖ ̣̯̦̯̟Ṿ̪̤͇͕O̺̠̻̗Ṃ̺̺I̱̠͔̹̦̗T̗̟̻̦̟̤̰I̦N͕̭̺͕G̤̝̣̳ ̪͙̣̗̬A̯̝ ̟S͔̹̻̻͓ͅTR̼͈̦̣͉E̟͇̖̫̪̼̩A͕͕͕̯̩ͅM ̜̣͕̞̹OF̦̞ ͍̫̝͔̩B̳L̫̙̣̜̼O̠̮̙͚͔O̤͓̬͖̟̪D̦͇ A͕̗ͅN̜̫̥̣͓D ̠̖̙͎̝̟̯P͈͙̝̭ͅR̳̻̰ỊM̯̱̥ͅE̩̻͍̲̤ ̠͉̦̤͎͓N̝̗͚̩̣̼Ṷ̙͙̱M̭͍B͖͎͚̲E͖͕̳͕R̭̜̮̣S̰͔̹͉͚̠ ͍̼͚̫O͉͉͕UT͎ ͔̙̭͚O̱̲͕̮͉̬F̪̭ ̮̘H̱̜̱̫̱͈I͇̤̜̦͓S̯̰̖ ̫͉̳̖T͇̭H̺̱̳͇I̬̹͔R͔̭D͍̠͖ ̮M̹̼̦̹̖̳̭O͕̙ͅU̮T̲̭͈̗H̻̦͇!̫̻ͅ
~ Zalgo when asked if he can see the future.


I̬̩͈͈T͈ ͇CA̼̼͍M͈̝͎E̩̖ ͔͕̰O̟͙̠͇̠̺̭U͎͖̱̥T̩͕͇̭̗̳ͅ ̭̘̘̠͍P̜͎̣R̝̹̻͔Ẹ̥̫ͅT̯͚T͎̲̜̪̦̲Y͔͚͈̹ ͕̠͕̠N̰ICE͉͚̠̙̫̩̮, ̯͈͎̤D͉̻̹̯̙̪̬O̗N͕̪̼T Y͎͖̜̭͔̖̩O͇͙U̻ ̜͉̞̟̱̜͔THI̝̫͕̩̪͉N̯̮̰̳͙Ḵ̻?̙͖̦͈͙̼̙!̮͖͎͎͔ ̤̪W̳̱͍͕A̹͈͔̼̣S͈̞̦̤͎H̱̤̦͈̮̭ͅIN̮̻̺̙G̤̝̜̳̖̩͕T͈̮͈̖O̯N͍̭̳̲̳̙ ̰̭R͙E̱͙̻̺͙̩A͓̯̯̙̝͓L̝͈̩L̪͎̱̯Y͉̥̥ H̻̖̟ͅA̳̟D͚ A̰̭͇ ̻F̩̥͓̭̝͙̩L̪A̮͍̬Ṟ̮̝E̦̫ ̺̦̗F̞̜̲͓̲̮̤O̬̞̳̫͔R̰̩̝̬͙͍̠ ͔̗̯C͔̮̻̝̟̹̝A̗̦̜̗P͙̤TU̞̗̭R̬̫̞͉I̤͕̮N͕͚̠̰G͉̲̩̠̻̳̪ ̯̻̞͙̳̥M̲̥̳͖͓͔Y͇̲̦̙ ̜T͇̹ͅR̗̯͎̝̞U̙̭̳E̞͍͍̟̤͕ E͔̼̪͚̱̘̗S͔̘͙ͅS̩E̦̟̬N̹͉C̼̼ͅE̟͉͇͔̭̦.̙̳ ̩̩̰͙̥̬Ḁ̳̬͕͔ͅL̰̖̟͉T̩̱̪̠̬͖Ḥ͔͕̗̠̜O͚̖͍U̱̼̬͚̭G͙͎̯̙H̦̳̠͉ ̮͔̟ͅHI̖̩͍͚S ̩̦̱̬̲̭ͅT̪̥͉ͅA̩̺̦̖̞Ḷ̠E͇̘̫ͅN̦T͔̝̲̭ ̝̞̠̭̠͖̣F̣̙̠O̰͉͓̺ͅͅR ͎B̩͔͓̭̗͓U̝̘͕̩̬̰I͓̠̠͚L̘D̟̞̠I̮̥͚͉̖̘N̞͎̠̻̩G̝̤̻̯̩͉ ̙̻̗P͖̳̺̠͔ͅO̼̪͖̟̞̠RȚͅḀ̠L̬̟S̖͔̯̞̰͍ ̱L͉̺̠͈̫̱̗E̱̻̖̯̭̘ͅFT̹̠̹ ̩̫S͇͈̬OM̟̭̘ͅET̺̣̰̞͎H͈̩̩͔̗̹Ị͈͉N̦̟̟͔̞̘G̣̲ ̺̬͇̖̰̻̳T̥̣͍̪̯O͓̟̟ ̜̮̖̩̪B̺̤E ͙̟̺͓D͓E̱̱̖̺͎̜S͎͇̲̠̯̹̪I̳R̟͓̖̯̞ED͙͙͖̦͔̦!̭͉̣͎ G͙̪̮̜̭͈̲O̝͎̮T̩̱̰̭̠͖̜TA̭͓ ̲̺̮̲H̲͉̪̘͙ḀN̺D͕ ̼͈̩̥̞͍ͅI͙̝̱̱T͈ ̥̰̠̲͙̞T̹̘͚̣O̱͓̟̱̣̯͇ ̪Ṯ̯H̱̜̱A͔̩͉̙̮T̩ ͇̞̻̙̱̜͚T͈H̝̺̜O̬͔̖͇̙̗̰U͎͈̰͉̘G̙͙̖Ḫ̙̗,̖̬̞̣ ̻̫̯ḪE̘̮͕̳͓̜͚ ͇̙̹̟ͅͅẈ̯͖A̜͈̥̦͔̲̤S̤̻̙̮̺͕͉ A͕̩͙̯̪̫͔ R͓͉̱̝E͚͈̳̭A̰͓L̩̟̥̖͓ ̗͙͙̬͔̯F̗̩U͔̘͖̫N̳̰͇ ͍̪̥͔͉̟̙G̝̟͉̠̰̳̰U̹̙̦̻̪Y̱͚̘͎͓ ̺̖̝̠͇̼T͖̟O̘̲̭ ̣̙̠̗͕T͍͉A̱̞̙̙̠̮̲L͍̝̺̝̰̱K ̣͉TO̘,̤̻͉̼̰͖ ̺̥͓E̺̝VE̜͕N̫̼̖͔̳̖ͅ ͔IF̻ ͓̙͕H̺̞̞̞̣̱̟E̜̝̮̤̥̺̼ ̟͚̘̱ͅT͎͓U̹̘͖R̥̞N͖̯̻̥̮̘̞E̪̦̩D̼̣̱͙̪͍̲ ̙͇̞̖͇O̠͎͎̩̮͍̺U̦T͙ T̳̙͇̠͍O̮͍̪̠̖̟̟ ̟̭͙B̞̘E̱̫̲͖̦ ̯L̜͖̥̪͈ESS̪̙ͅ C̱̠͎OO̤̦̣̙̺̭P̗͚͍̗̹͕͈E͓͙R̰̬̜A̮̳̗̬ͅT̪I͖V̫͇E̠̜͉͇̙͇ͅ ̘̖T̹̤̫̣H̥̩A̝̪̹̼ͅͅN͇̘̞͈̬͉ Ḭ͚̦ H̺̜͔̣O̙͕̥PED. ̭Ḫ͈͙ͅE̖Y̭̗̞̻͉,̥ ͔̥̬̥T̺͚͈H͖̰̭̜ER̠͇͉̜͓͈E̥͙͕̹̳̬̭'͕͍͚̤S̼̱̦ A͖̦̲̤L̜̩͖̣̰͙͖W͍̼̝̱̝̣Ạ̝̯̳̘̲Y͔̤̦̩̩̼S̪̦̗̟ͅ ͇T̠H̖̻̣̪͙̼E̪̘̰̼ ̠̯̗̫̟̩̭N͕E͉̯͈̮̙X̳T ̟̮͈̠̘̦G͕E̦̺̺̲̞N̤̺̩̫̮E̙RA̩̰̻̘͍̣͙T̗͓I̱̼̻̖͕͎O̪̞̙̝̠N̹̙͉̝̪̣̥.̼̺̺͎̬̖.̼̟̰͔̭.̥̮
~ Zalgo when asked if he likes the tapestry in the White House.


Ỵ̰͖̱̞O͚̖̯̳͔U̙ ̱̜̟͇̣͖̮͜Ḅ͓̗̪͕͍͝Ḙ̤̬̖̳̱ͅT̯̮̟̱̠͕̻ ̳I̵̯̪̗ ̯̘̜̰͚ͅK͖̥N͔̟̪͕͡OW ͔H̠̕I̟̲͎̬̥̯S̢̤̻ ҉̳T̘͇̳R͚͍U͎͎̜͇̳̰̪E̡̖͚ ͏̰̼Ņ͚̬̰A̙͙̤͔̯̬M̜̬͓͠E͚̙̯!̵̜̤ͅ ̹̜̗͈I҉̼F͡ ͏̟̬͎Ì̘̞ ̢͖̣͎H̛̪̝͇͎͍A̻͙͈͎D̜͕̤̩̼͙̗ ̠̥̻̰͚A̠̝ͅ ͇̗͎̟̻̺N̩̺͓A̯̱͜Ṃ͜E͍̭̖̯ ̼̙͙̙̖̳͕͟T̘͉͕͓H̶̩̫̤͙͉̪̝AT͇̖̺̤̬̼͡ ̴͎͇̤͔̖̣̹S̞̖̼̙T̳̻̀U͏͇͕̗͙̫P̶͎̪̩̗͙͔ID͖͖̟̭ I̯̻'̠̺̼̲͚D̹̪͞ ̕U̜̘̱̞̪͘S̰̮͔͍͚̤͖E̶̜̮̣ ̢̬̺A̜̝͕̗͎ ̧̝̲̳͈͓̣NI͏̞̗̥͖̠̦̮C҉̱͙̭̪K̺̭N͎͘AM͉̞É̞̝͕̻ͅ ̠̗ͅT̷O͉̰O҉!̯̰͖̼͍̲ ͕͚̠͝S̢͕P̮E͍̕A̖͙̗͘ͅK̼͟I͏̟N̳̰G̺ ̴O̢͈̭͎̫̰͓F̧̫̺ ̺͎̱̥͇̯̥N̬̜A͈̙͈̞ͅM̭̞̤̖̺E̪̫̩S,̩͞ ̫̗̫͍̗̻"͠ͅT̹̫H̖̱͇̰̼E̘͙͕͎͎ͅ ̗̹̟G̶͚̳͍͖͙̫͎R̜͙E̜͝A͉͇̹͢T̤̗̼̼̱͟ L̙̦O̷̗̖̺R̹̮̥̞̭D̬̜"̸͈͍̱͙̘̪ ͔̘̟I̥̩̗̳̘̯̝S B̷A̹̥̘S̻͓̻̘͙I̴̖̝͈̯̺C̸̲̟̫̪A̷͔̯̞L̫͇͕͞L̠̮͖͇̲Y҉͕ ̸̞̥̣̱͚̦̻A̝̗͔ ̙̝̭͘DÍ̲̲̳M̭̞͕̀Ḛ̘͎Ǹ̲͍SIO̲̟̕N̥A͉̮̙͇L̯͉̩̜̦ ̰̫̤̰͖U̼̙̭̫͇̩͝S̜͙͍̮Ḛ̱̲̤̯̞ͅR̹N͍̭A̰̦͓͈̠̘ͅM̥̠E̻̜̺͈-̰ ̙̥͖͖̤̹̩̕A̶ ̘̫͘P͙̰R̯͎I͉̲̺M͚̹̻I̜͢Ṯ̪̞̯̲I̛͈̦͈̭V͙̺̤̞E̗̝͎̭̪ ̸̖̙̦̞̼̭G̱̝R͎̬̰ͅU͓̜N̫̮Ṭ͖͡ ̰̥̩̹͜D̵̼͇̼̻ͅẸ̥̺̬͍̜S̡̳̬̰I̲̲̝͇G̶̞̖̖͚̖N̨E̞̲̻̦̻̰̟D̩̭͎̲ ͎F͙͎ͅO̝̫̼R̨͉ͅ ̯̼͘YO͖̺̺̺̞͙͝U͉̳̥̞R̜̲͚̲͘ ͎̝̼͓̘͠A̗̜͔̬̮͞N̯ͅͅAL̜͓̟͖̭͓̖͡OG̜͖̠̺͕ͅ Ę͍͉̱̫̟A̩̫R҉̥͖S͍̼̟̖!̙͠ ͏̝I̞̟̫̖̱͢F͖̦ ̮͇͙̖̜Y̹̙͙̣͕̬̦͠OU̬̖͠ ͎̮̣Ṣ̸A̗̣͖̗̜̞I̛͖̜̙D̟͔̰ ̤́H̼̥̟̺̥I̲͓̹Ṣ͡ ̤̲́T̬͙͙͓R̸̺U̴̼͍̗E͖͓̰̲͓̙͟ ͈͈͞N̵͚͈͔A̫̮̫̖̫̘͇M̨̳̝E̛̺̭͉͖̹ ̥Y̧̖ƠU̝͔͞'҉̬̘͍̰̖̲Ḏ ̱͍E̮̝̺̮̩̝V͉͈̪̲̦̫͎A͙͎̩͕͕P̠̫̻͔O̝̜̖͖͓̗͓R̲̳̗͙̬͓A̟͔͇͘T͓͓̻̭͍͈̪E̘̹͞ ̤͉ͅT̺O̴͖̠̘͉ D̙͔̜͘U̼͙̣ͅS̙͈͔̗T̰̰̺̤̰͍ ̵̤̥̳̼̬W̬̠IT͈̻̬̤͕̀H̛̞̖ ̳̞̥̻AͅN̢͖̣̖ͅ ̬̙̤E̘͈XP̸̠R̥͠E̴͎̱̝̼̜S̶̰̪͍S̭̭͓IO̦̠̞̠͈̜N͙͖̪̦̬̱̩ ͈͔͎̩͓O̘̟̬̠F̘̩͉͝ ̳͓͓̙ḨOR̴̖̜̝R͕̺̼̬O̜̥͚̠̦͕R̺ ̰̼͕͍̺̫̞A̰͘N̫̝̫̦̫̼D͍̠̙̫ ̜E̶͍͚̖C̪͈̼S̵̰̰̘̬T̶̝̝À̻̩̟̙̞̗S҉͖̥̳̖͙͓Y̧̞͔̩͓͖ ͇̘̤̻̮͞O̸̲̹N̦͟ ̨̝Y̫͇̗̰O͍̙͟U̱R͓̰͍̭͠ ͇͉̩̮͉͈̮͢F̘A̜̪͔C̯̤Ḙ̰̖͇̰͟!̼ ̹̭͢W̵͕̮̝̺̣̳H̢̘͉̤̙͕I̭̲̪̼̮͉C̝H͟ ͍̺̞W̵̳̳̮ͅO͔̰͙̜̥U̲̩͉̥̥͠L̮̳͕͠D̷̬̺̜̤̲̤ ̱͙̫͙͉͢B̭̝̻̭̤̀E̤̦͢ͅ ̖̮͉͎̘̥ͅF̫̹̲̹͠ͅU͎͚̣͓͙̻̖N̷ ͍̠̭̻̯̟F͔̟̩̼̭͙ͅO̬̟̖̯R͙̯̻ ̫̣̹̞̠M̵͙̣͖̜͈E̛̲̟ ̦͎̥̮̺͚̠Ṱ̬̼͟ͅO̩ ̮͙̟̱̤̭̦W̢̲A̲̜̤̟T̠̲͈̥C̘̰̘̼G̹̤̰̰͓͡ ͅB̸̩U̠̤̩̱͟T̳̝̱̘̪̹͕ ̗͈͚̬͈̯W̪̦̩̗O̬̝̖U͕̱̼͙̻̪Ḽ̲͝D̟͠ ͓̬̙̲̺̤P͏̱̟͇R̬̮̝̙̀O̘̼͇̻BA̰̪͎͍̝B͉̣͓̰̥̘͝L̵̝̻̤̯͔̦̲Y̸̳ ̘̩͔͉͉̟̦̀R̥͓̱UI̖̲̯̪͜N͚̜͇͓̼̬ ͍͉̩̠̼̰̝T̰͈̖̞͙̙̩Ḩ͍E͙̤̫̬͎͖͜ ̲͔̳̣R̷̤̟̜͇͍̘U̦̜̱̞G!̷̱͖̩̪
~ Zalgo when asked if he knew Slenderman's true name.


M͢Y ̕D͜IME̛N̸S͝I̷ON͝ ̧HAS 14̵ ̵BILLIO̵N D̕I̴FFER̀E͢N͠T GEN̡D͢ERS̨. ̶IT҉S V̧E͘RY͡ ÇON̷F͘U҉S̡ING.̕ ̀I̛M ̷HO͞NE̴SŢLY NOT͞ S̛U̶R҉E.͢ ͘IT͝ W҉O̸UL͜D̵ ̛T͝ÁKE ͝YEA̴RS OF͠ ̶P̨AP̵ER͡W͠OR̀K̨ T̡O͘ ̶SORT͠ ͡IT ́AL͠L OU̴T͞.
~ Zalgo when asked what his sexual orientation was.


Reddit User: So. Zalgo. We all know pain is hilarious, but what is the MOST hilarious kind of pain?
Zalgo: Y̢͝͡O̡̡̕͠͠Ù͢͞҉R̵̢̛̀͠S͏̷͟͠


Reddit User: Za'lgatoth, who is your favorite minion?
Zalgo: S͢A̢͠Y̴̧̛ ͜T̵͟HĄ̴T ҉́Ǹ͟A͡͞M̸̵͠E̕͘ ҉Á̡̛G͝A̵I̷̸̢N̕͜ ̵͞͠A͟͠Ń͘͜D̷ I͜͝'Ĺ̢Ĺ ̶͡H͞͝A͜͡͏N҉G͘ ̨YO̸Ù̴͜ ̴̀҉À͡҉N̵D̷ ̕͟YOU̶̕͠R ͘͘W͏͘H͟OLE ̧F͝A͜M̶I͏̢ĹY̢ ͏ÒF̷F҉̶ ̷̨̢T̡̕HÉ̸ ͡E̕͠D̷̢͟G͢E͏ ̸O͟͝͡F͟͞ ̸͏TH̢E̶ ̴̢̧UN҉͜I̶V͘͏͞ER͠S͠É̢̢.
~ Zalgo threatening a Reddit user.


Reddit User: Which of the Seven Deadly Sins is your favorite?
Zalgo: Ḑ̡͟Ǫ͞N̨T̛ ́҉MA̕Ḱ͢E̶̢͝ ̛M̴E͟ ̕͝C̵H̸́Ò̸͝O̧͘S͏͢E̵̸̢ ͠͡B̡͢͞ET̡Ẁ̶͝Ę̨́E̡̨͝N̡ ͠M͏҉Y̧͟ ͝͏B̡A̵̧B͡I҉͟E̷S̨!̧͝҉!̧


Reddit User: ZALGO WHY DO YOU TYPE LIKE THAT??
Zalgo: I̯͘͟͢ ̶͓̳̯͎͈͈̯̞̕͡T̰̻̲̗̼̹͜H̶̙͍̥Ì҉̴̭̘N҉̯͉͉K̴̼̲̀̀ ̸̛̯̪͍̯͍̣͎͚͟Ḭ̜Ņ̷̥͔͈͖͖̩̪͘ ͉̙A҉͉͈͖̝̼͔L̵͔̝̲͠Ḻ͢ ̨̫̮̱̩̻̗C͈͖̺̠͎͟͡ͅͅĄ̦̙̙̻̠̤͕P̢͜͏̖͎̞͖̰̣̤S͝҉̦̲͈͞ͅ ̻͎͖ͅA̵̶̠͚̞͖̕N̟̤̝̹̠̩̘ͅḐ͕̲̙̞̯͟ ̦̖͞F̨̛͙̣͖͕̜͢U̢̟̥̫C̞͔̩̬͍̯̲͘͢K҉̵̗̺E̳̮̬̝̖̙̗Ḓ̳̜̤̱̯̱̟͞͝ ̝̰̦̠̦͚͎͠ͅU̶̸͕̠̖P̟̤̣͇̲̣̳͘͠ ̮̬̲͉̺̪͇͘F̡̬̕͠O̳̣͓͉̪̱͕̦͘͞N̡̠͖̯̞̤͈̮̬̻T̷̢̹̺̜͔̩̖̩̦S̵̩̰̙


Reddit User: How does one become a minion of yours.
Zalgo: I͙̦̳̗ͅͅF̹͔͕̘̤͎̞ ̲̫͖Y̭̠̼̫̰̩̟O̥̳̱̩͙̖͖U̺̘̯̥̟ ͔̙W̻͓̗͍͓͖A̯̬̬͇NT̻̟̹̤̗ ̬̘̟̱T̜̣ͅO ̻̰̰͙̬̳͉J̠̮͚ỌI͓̻͎̮̬̗͓N͈̭͓̞͈̳̰ ̤M͉͖̺̦͈̳̝Ẹ̘̲̻̖,̬̩̞̬̪̪̱ ̭̱K͖I̠Ḷ͍̻̱L̪̹ ͕̝͖̙͇̰Y̤Ọ̻̫̣̘̩̻U̹̪̜̜̘̟̟R̥̺̜͚̖̹ ̠P̙ͅE͍T͈ ̘̬̭̙W̟͇I̹̝̺̞̜ṰH͉͔ ͍͇͎̦̻̘Ạ ̺̖R̙͎̱͙̬O̗̲̟̯̯C̰̩̯̹̜K.͎ ̹͓͙̣̠I̳̲̜̥̺F͈ ͖̖͕̞͈Y̙O̟̙̻̝̩̦̺U̞̳̻̹̝̖̭ ̰͖DO͓̬͔͕̪ͅN͔̗̟̻̞͙̣T̺̪̗ ̤̘͎̮̬H̩̪A̠͙͉͍͚V͍̝E̯̣̩̝̼̳ ͕͕̘̬ͅA̦̙͉̙̲̠̭ ̳̬͔̘̬͙P̠͉͉E̯̥͍T͖͙̪ͅ,̖̥̝ ͈̤K͙I̤L̝͙̫͕̣͖L̲̙͚̘ ̙̥͍̹̩̺Y̩̠̗O̥̙̼U̯̻̣̤̦̫̺R͓̗ͅ ̪̺̼͈F̤̹̩̗̙A̞͙̙TH̖̥͇̰E̦̯͎R ̠̬͚̼̞A̻̮̖̩̠͇N̘D̥̝̮͇̗̝ T͓̝͕̬H̙̟̰̭̥̼̬E͕͚̜N̰̗͙͓̪̯ͅ ̗͖̝̝T̲̙A̮͚͈͚͇̠̙P̜̬͎̯ ͎̫D͎̼͈̘̺͎A͇̼̤NC̖͓̙̩̻E̟̯̬̗ ̙͕̼̺͙T̼͍̝O ͙̞̗̭SCO͇̳̮̲̭T̳͖͔̘̝͖T̠ ̟J̠̣O̝͈̰PL̯I̭͖̙N͈̱S̼̗̱ ̙̞͓̟T̞̣̦̲̲̺HE E̤̭̘̲̗ͅͅNṰE͍̳̗͖͉R̠̣͖T͔̦̣̳A̺̩̼͍̝I͙N͍̤̤̻ͅER̯̲.̞̦̟̲̼̖


Reddit User: So we know you shook hands with Stalin, but were you and Hitler friends?
Zalgo: D̰͎O̢͙͇N̙̫̝T̸ ̱͚̱̫͙ͅC̡̹OM̼͚̼̟̯̣PA̸͍̻̠̣̦͖R̲͓̕E̘ ͍͞M̢̤E̵͇ T̥̠̕O̜͡ ̬͈̝͔̞̣͞HḬ̺͚̪̦͓M͍͖̰̫͕̀!̩̣̬̣̗̻͚ ̬͉̣͖͢Ọ͎͜L̞̮̕ ͓̣͇͖A͖͘D̪͢O̡̯̘L̨̜͉̖͕̥̙̞F̪̟̟̹ ̴̬̦̰I̱͔͇͓S̞̟̫͍̫̬̗ ̗̬̱̤͇A̫͍̻͙̻ ͢D͙͖͉ͅE̤̝̲V̡̖͈̘̯̻̜O͇͇̥͝U͕͡T ҉̪̟͓̫̥̠̣Ș͚̜̠ͅA͟Į̟̰ͅN̲T̹͍̤̟͙̤ ̡͉͓̱C̻O͢M̨̺P̣̗͔͍̞̘A͝R͚̞̝̤̘ED̡ ̗̝͖̭̘T͔̺͙͉͓̦̝O ̴̤͓̦͍M̟͍͇̲͖͟E̸͉͕.̦̯̯͇̲͙ ̹͔̜D͍͕I͈͓̘̙D̶̝͕͎̱̝͉̝ ̶̟͈͓Y̷̼͇̜ͅO̴U̬̙̰̼ ̱̝͎͉K̢̙N̷̩̣̬͎̭̱̥O̡͎W͇ ̗̝̲̝̠̪̘̀H̢̫̟͉̗̥͍E̙̠͉̘̦̱͇ ̶͙̗̮̪̲̞L̪͖̦͖̪̝ͅỊ̞̳̫͓͢K̸̳͇̞E̹̠̟D͞ ̲͇̬̹͇͔̝Ţ͚͖̼̲ͅO̶̗̟̩̘ D̪̬͈̟̣͚R͏̦̞͔͉̖E̪̥͍͕͠S̙͇͙̩̭S̪̻̜̗̪ ̳̯̤͍͉I͕̗N̺͎͎̪̦ ̫̝̖͕̹͓͚͘W̸̳͇͕̠̺O̦͙̘M̡͓̹̟̱E͝N͓'̜̦͕͈̟̟͝S͇̲̳̪̖ C͖LO͕̦͎̩Ṭ̙̕H͖̀E̢̥̙S?̵̩̼̖ ̧͔̜ͅH͍̺̥E̴ ͓͚̱͈T͓͕͜O͕͉̝̗͔͓͢L҉̰̻̦͈̙̰̬D̡͓̱ ҉̦̟̝̖̻̜M̤̰E̞͕̯ ̱Ṉ̙O̟̺̯̥̺͕̕ͅT̶̺ ̨T͢O̩ ̙̫̥T̵̹̩̯E̟̦̹̗͙̤ͅL̨Ļ͈̮̯ ̥͚̖͇͈͍À͔N̪͚̦Ý͎O̟N̺̝̰̟̪͜E͢ ͏̳B̫̭͈̳̫͍U͇͓̞̘T̡̻̤̬̭ͅ ̤̮̹͚̖͍͍W̷̟͖̳̗̱H͎̲͉̀AT̠̻̫͈̙̺̭ ̝̜̗̼͙̺H̫A̝͔S ̪͎̦̖͠H̺̘͎̬̦E̦̠͕̞ ̘̪̳D̻͓͇͘O̙͟N̘̬̮̳̹̹Ȩ̪͇̫̲ ͎̻̺̪̫̲̤FO̷͍̺͓̰̻͖R̝͝ ͏̹̦̝̙̥̩Ḿ̺̖E̜ ̸̥̱̰͉͈L̖͔̥̯A҉͈Ţ̝̜͙͍͙̩̖EL͈̳͖͇̩̣̱Ý̬?̡̥͖


Reddit User: You got any good jokes?
Zalgo: F̱̖̪̜͎͚R͢E̹̟̘͠E̢ ͉̙͞W̥̣̲̮̤͈I̮̱͈͔̣L̮̩͇̩͕͕L̨̩̥̗̣ ̻͚͟I̼̫͔͙̕ͅS͏͍̤͉̩ ͏̯͎̯̺R̻̤͙̳̠͕̱̀EA͕̺̙̕L.͍͖̜̦.


Reddit User: Why you hate humans?
Zalgo: B҉E̸͘C̨̀A͞U̧͝S̵̨E̡ ҉͜͞H̛͠U̧M͏A̶N̷̸͟S̡͠ ͡͡͡A̶͠R͘͘É̛̕ ̢͠Ḑ̸E͞S̶͘I̶͏҉G̷̸̀Ǹ̨È̛͟D͝ ̢̡B́Ỳ̛͘ ͏̸À̶́ ̧͡͞BL̡͠IN̶D̶̢ F̴OO̕͠L͘͢Į̀S̕͡Ḩ̸͜ ͟Ą͟͡N͏҉D̨̀ ̴̴ID̵I͘O͟T҉I҉C̴̶ S͢P̨A͏G̵͜H͠͏͜ET̡҉̛T͘Í̢ ̀M͘OŃ̛ST̡́́E͠͏Ŕ.


Reddit User: Sweet cape. Where can I find one?
Zalgo: J͜US͢T͜͝ ̴US̀҉̶E̡͠ ҉҉͝T͟HE ̶̡S̸̨͝K̴̕Į͢҉N͠ O̸͠F͏̸̢ ̶Y̕͢O̶͟ŲR ̀͢͜F͝I̡͜R̛͜͜S̢T-B̢́O̷R̵̶̨N͞ ͝C̵̕͏H͏̴̀Í̡͜L̷D̶͞!̵ ̀T͟͡H͟A̵̕T'̛S ͘H̷̢OW͟͠͏ ̵̡̨I̸͢ ̛́͢G̨̛O̴Ţ͝ ̷͡͠M̢ÌN̴È̷!҉


W͍̬̱E͈̦͈̼͎LL̲̫̭ ͉I̫̞̠̦T ̻L̖̟̮O̖̯̭O͚̭K̖̺̺S ͔̗͙͍͖ͅLI̜̟̖K͓̩̝̥̻̠ͅE͍̯ ̻̮̩͚̜̱T͉̺̬̰̖H̳̬̳̞̮E͎͔̩̱̩ K̫̭̱I̞͈D̖̜̻S͈̜̙̗̺ ͕̗̰R̟E̗M ̱̣C̫͓Y̠̺͉̫̩C̲̟͚LE̪͕͔̹ ̥I̺S̟ ̞̣A̯̦B͉̘̮ͅO̱͚̰̠̠͎͍U͎Ṯ̪ ̬̺̻̘T̘̳̜͈̲̟̳O ̺̻E̺N̜̲͔D̺̠̳͎̱̠̩, ̙͖͔̘̹̦ͅS̳̩͙̮͓̤̺O͖̫̟ ̙̝͚̯I͎̤̠̘̫͇ ͔S̼̫͍͙̤H̹͈O͈̝̺͙̠̮Ṳ͓L̻̞D̫͖̜ͅ ̪͕̯̼ͅM̥͙͉̠͖̖A̬̟̱͔ͅK͕̼̜̲E̥̤̥͈̪ ̥̼̱̻̰̗̥L̼̟̫̬͖I̦̬̣͙̠K͎͓̟̞͉̙E̩͙̫ ̠E͍̭͍͍̲A͕̮͙͚̝RT͈̲͚̼H̗͈ ͍̠̦̜̖A̤̭͍̙̜̭̝N̺̯ͅD͕͉͈͙͕ ̫̜̺̻̖B̼U̼̮͓͚̲R̹N͉̙̲̲̤̤͙ ̬̜̱̘TO̫̜̫͖ ̜͔̝T̤͙̙Ḥ̥̥̙̲̙E͍ ̱̲͚̞̤GR̙͉̤̝O͙̦͔̦UND!̙̰̹̝͙ͅͅ ̲͇̰̲̗͖H̤̫̥̟̥̝̫E̯̜A͈̤D̠͉̭̬̭S̝ ̬̤̬̥͉̬̼U̗̻̠͉P͎͚̻-̲ ̣̫̺͇͎B̺̠̜I̲͚̬̭̞G̙̟̗̙͈̳ ̠̠̯̻̺T̙͔̼͙̰H͕̭̞̩̬̣Ị̮͙͕͚N̻̤̯͖̬͎G̭͇͙S̲͙ ̜̠A̘̱̘̟̥̗R̦E̱̦͉͍ͅ ̥̘͚͎C̭̹O̺̳̪͎M̤͕͓̜̟̖I̖̳̩̳̬̣̟NG̥͉̦̥̝̼͔.̻ ͕͔ͅI̦̲͉͍̖F̖̟̣̤ ̜YͅO͖U͕̜̣͓ ̺̬̻͕̞W̞̯͖͚̬̲A̗̟̘N͎T̤̻̖͔͖ ̙̭̞̙̮͍T̫̬̹͔̯͚O̖͔̱͔̮ ͎͍B̹̰͔͕̰̣E̝͍̮̟͚̪̖ ̯̹͉O͓̬̯̥N͍̫̬̺̲ ̖̜̠͙̤T̝̹̞͙̻͈̺H̻̥͕E͇͖̱͈ ͚̹͇̺̜̻R̝̮͔̹̪̬IG͈̱̱̗H̤͕̤̘Ț̰̙̟̘ ̳SI̜̹̘̠̗̦D̺͖̫̺E͙̱̱ͅ ̘̪͈O̻̤͇͚̣̣F̞̠̜̼͚̝̰ ̫HI̻̻͍S̰͓̻̯͚̮̖T̬̣̖̱͍̤O̼̳̮R͎͖̝̤͔̝͕Y͍̫͖͎͖͓̻ ̭̗̭̭̳W̝̤͔̜̹̥̝H̥̫̬̘̪͙E̩͚ͅN͈̟͇̩ ͇̲̞I͎͓Ṯ̦̘̥̩͓ ͈A̦͖̮͍L̹̮̟̫L̜ ̳͇̟G̣͈̤̦O̭̠͇̠̙̜ES͖̗ ̗͎̣͎̰D͕͍͍͔O͖̻̗̥̹͓̭WN͖̤̞,̭̺ ̖̻͚D̦̖͉̠R͙A͉̤̯͈W̠̝̝͍̭͎͍ A̰N̥ ̖͙I̱̺̱̮M̘͙͖͙A̳̫̲̠G̬̗͚̙E ͍O̱͚͉̘̲̺F̳̝̭͙̝ ͙̝̲͓̙̰̻M̥̲͇̻̞͍̱E̯̙̤͔̹͕ͅ ̦̜͍̠I̤̹̯̯̹̖̰N̳ ̳ͅA̗̝̼̟͇̪ P̻U̟̯̬̘̯̯B̮̳͎L̺̩̪ͅI̞̣̤͍͉ͅC̹ ͚̘P̦̝L̞͕̻̜̼͍A̭C̼̜̰̥̪̺͙E͕̻̮̼͉̠ ̯̟̜̼̬͈͔A͖̮̜N̟̝̟͓̱̤͕D͚̰͉̹̺ͅͅ ̦̝͖̼͚Ị͍̼̠̠͚̥L̦̗͇̪͚͍̮L ͇̝R̹̳̰͍E͈̤͙̱̩̙͎P̗A͙̭̥̯͖̳Y̦̬̳̯̮ Y͙͓͕O̲̩̳̹̙̫͕U̠̣̭͙ͅͅ O͍̥N ͕̮T͖͇͙H̝̦͓͖̼E̫͎̫̱͈ ̲̝͖O͍̪̻̯ͅT̩̫̱̩͕̥͇H̹̲̼͎E̹͚̠̝̯̟R ̲̘̦͈̯̜̞SI͈͙̝͕D̺̠̰ͅḚ̯͓̣̲͕̫!͎̫̼ I̩̯̞̥̘ C̦̺A͔͕̗̝̳̘N ̲͈AL̰͔͎̰ͅW̲̘͈̟̤A̝͚̝̲̟Y̲͓̤͖̱͚̠S͎͎ US͈̱̯̜͎E ͓̙̮̬̘̺͍M͓͍͓̹ͅO̬̤͉̟̮R̦̼̥̯̝̮E͖̥̹̟ ̥̰͍M̬I͎N̳I̠̫̥O̮NS̫͙̥.̜ ̗̱͇ͅͅA̩̫N̞̹D̠ ̱R̖͖͙͓E͕M̞͍E̝̦͇̫̮̭M̻̯͍̟B͈ER̫̯͇̦͎̭!̳̤̼̭̗̬ R̫̰̱Ḙ̣͙̘̞̠̟A̗̳̻LI̺̻̗̬̙Ṭ͔̖̬̩̙͙Y͚͚̹̠ ̦͔̯̻͎I̫̰̱͓̱̟S̱̙̟͚̞ ̟A̯̠͚̺̟̹̘N̤̥ I̙͍̣L͖̬̫LU̠S̹̭͍̠̹I̮͔̜͕̟ON͕̪̖̬̦ ̺̣̭̣T̠̝̝̗͈͚̯H͓̺̦E̗ ̣̲̘U̻̺̣͚͎̩̰NI͍͉͔̞V̪E͎͚̜̯R̼͚̩S͔̳̟̬̥̮E I̳S̯̲ ͚͇̦̦A̯̯̞̺ H̰͉̣̦̟̟O̟̬LO̝̱̖̳̩̣̜G̲̠̠̥̝̮̙R̟͚̻̺̹A̭̺̝̦̦̳M̥̠̠̗ ͕B̘͕̮̻Y͚̣̞͈̟ G̙̠̬͈̖̳̬OL̲̗̺͍͙̮̳D̪̳̰͕̥̙ ̜B͍Y͖E̤̜ḚE̗̺!ͅ!̮͎̞̠̱̜!̪͕̞̙̲̣̰!͓̤̪̱̩ ̱͖̱̼͕
~ Zalgo's final message to his "fans".


Quotes spoken about Zalgo

Aton: He is a danger to our universe! His name must not be mentioned, Comickit!
Comickit: Zalgo..
Aton: Seriously?
~ Aton and Comickit.


I think Zalgo is angry at the world for the same reason anyone can get mad at the world. Everyone has days where they don't get their way, where you have to go to bed early or you have too much homework to do or you can't eat the candy you want or your miss your favorite TV show, and in those moments you just want to tear the whole world down. Zalgo is a character who's been around for countless billions of eons, but he hasn't grown up in that time. He's a character who has accumulated many frustrations, many moments of destruction like that, and they've built up over time. Now he's decided he wants a world where where is no homework, where there is no bedtime — where you can eat any candy you want and do anything you want.
~ Comickit describing Zalgo in an interview.


For the people saying Zalgo has returned… I didn't know Zalgo was free. He's not a being I created. I don't know when you even started calling him by that name. You made him real, and now he knows who you are. Why did you do this...?
~ Aton.


Zalgo was a monster, a pure evil, sadistic, all-powerful, nightmarish, demented monster... and all of his victims are just his little toys, and The Pit is the very gateway into his chaotic, nightmarish world and the very Hell his victims are trapped in. All these eons, I have seen so many people fall victim to Zalgo, kind and decent people. All I have left are memories.
~ The Unwanted House Guest.


You will have your war, Proxies. If you continue to fight, there will be no realm, no barren moon, no crevice where he can't find you. You think you know death? He will make you long for something as sweet as death.
~ Shadowlurker to the Proxies.


Watch out for Zalgo. He's a dick.
~ BEN while welcoming tourists to the Under Realm.


Mr. Widemouth: Yeah, Slendy turned out okay. It's probably good he didn't stick with his dad.
The Unwanted House Guest: Yeah... that guy was a jackass.
~ Mr. Widemouth to UHG (keep in mind, this was before Zalgo was revealed to be Slenderman's father)


When the Under Realm and Earth become sky, fear the Beast with Many Mouths.
~ Splendorman warning the Unwanted House Guest about Zalgo.


Splendorman: Our father didn't stress diplomacy.
Jeff: Wow... So Zalgo was your father all along?
Slenderman: No. Not anymore. When I was young, he killed my mother in front of me. He tortured me and Splendorman; turned us into a weapon. I hoped to spare my Proxies from the truth, but it seems you have figured it out on your own. The truth is... Splendorman is Zalgo's son, and so am I.
~ Slenderman revealing and confirming the Proxies' suspicions.


Jeff: Well, you're free now. What are you gonna do now?
Splendorman: As a child, my father would have Slenderman and me battle one another in training. Every time my brother prevailed… Zalgo would torture me as a way to teach me to be better. But he won… again and again, and again, never once refraining. I will buy a warship with every conceivable instrument of death. I will hunt my father like a dog, and I will tear him apart slowly, piece by piece, until he knows some semblance of the profound and unceasing pain I know every single day.
Jeff: (stares in shock) ...Yeah. I was thinking maybe you would go on vacation. Or maybe get a nice pet, y'know. Somethin' to make the other monsters go "Oooh, that's nice!" Anyway... Happy trails.
~ Jeff to Splendorman.


Jeff, I was a fool to try to hide all this. The reason I've been trying to prepare you for Zalgo's tricks is that Zalgo tricked me. It's the biggest regret of my life. Zalgo wasn't always my enemy, Jeff. I used to think he was my friend. Long, long ago, I had hit a road block in my investigation of the multiverse. Until I found some mysterious writing in a cave, ancient incantations about a being with answers. It warned me not to read them, but I was desperate. I read the inscription aloud, but nothing happened. Until, later that afternoon, when I had the most peculiar dream. He told me he was a muse, that he chose one brilliant mind a century to inspire. What a fool I was. Blinded by his flattery and games. I was aware of the legend of Zalgo, but he fooled me into believing all that was a lie. After I foolishly broke the spell Slenderman casted on him, he became my research assistant. He was free to move in and out of my mind as he pleased. We were partners. When he told me I could complete my research by building a gateway to other worlds, I trusted him. He said this was the way genius happened; little help from a friend. It seems that I was on the verge of my greatest achievement! Until my partner got a glimpse of Zalgo's true plans. I'd been betrayed. I shut the portal down, severing the link between Zalgo's world and ours. I had to hide my instructions so no one could ever finish Zalgo's work. Zalgo's been waiting for the gateway to reopen ever since. All he needs to do is get his hands on the Multiverse crystals. To Zalgo, it's just a game, but to us, it would mean the end of our world.
~ The Unwanted House Guest to Jeff.


You were all I had. But you and your Proxies just had to win. Zalgo pulled my face off my head, and my arms from my body, and burned me alive… because of you.
~ Shadowlurker to Slenderman and the Proxies.


A demon who will not rest until Arcosian culture, my culture, is wiped from existence.
~ Princess Atta describing Zalgo.


Laughing Jack: You have issues.
Slenderman: Well, of course I have issues! (points at Zalgo) THAT'S MY FUCKING FATHER!!!
~ Slenderman and Laughing Jack.


Enderman: Zalgo's unhinged.
BEN: Ya think?
~ BEN and Enderman.


Zalgo wants us to be afraid. He wants us to hide. Those are our friends out there, and if we don't do something, it'll be our entire omniverse! So I say instead of waiting around to be killed, we band together and take the fight to him! We are gonna FUCK HIS SHIT UP!!!!
~ Jeff to the Monsters of the Under Realm, inspiring them to stand up against Zalgo.


Jeff: It doesn't have to go this way, Shadowlurker! That piece of shit... he deserves to die for what he did to you. He hurt you badly. Makes you wanna hurt others. But if you kill us, he wins. You become everything he says you are, but worse. You don't wanna hurt anyone.
Shadowlurker: How do you know what I want?
Jeff: Because I've been inside you.... That came out wrong. I've been inside your shoes.... Which is also off-putting. It's just not a great analogy. The point is... there are people... There are people in this fucking world... besides him, who will treat you right. If he reaches full power, he'll kill you. You know he will. It isn't too late. Don't do it. Please.
~ Jeff to the Shadowlurker.


You're goin' down, fuckboy. You're gettin' erased. You're going to die and pay for everything you've done! For what you did to Slenderman, Mr. Widemouth, UHG, Shadowlurker, EVERYONE! And after you're dead you're legacy will be nothing but a fat fucking joke. And even if you do somehow live, you'll live the rest of your miserable life knowing that people will laugh at you for losing to a bunch of mortals. This multiverse laughs at you. It beat you. I BEAT YOU!!!
~ Jeff to Zalgo.


B.O.B: Wow... I thought you liked him.
Shadowlurker: HE DIDN'T LIKE ME!! (voice breaking slightly) HE NEVER LIKED ME!!!
~ Shadowlurker after killing Zalgo.


Trivia

  • Zalgo has several influences over history:
    • Zalgo had kidnapped various dinosaurs from Earth and stored them in the Under Realm to be used for his army, encasing them in the Under Realm's caves within a layer of strong tree sap. Zalgo then killed off the dinosaurs with a meteor when they proved no use for him.
    • Zalgo forced a group of cave people to build him a portal made of rocks, giving them markings to use to activate the portal. Once the rocks were arranged and markings written, the portal nearly worked until a caveman knocked half of the formation down when he tried to swat a bug. As punishment for their stupidity, Zalgo reverted them back into monkeys and had each of them destroy their homelands and everyone within. The failed rock portal would later be discovered by humans and named "Stonehenge".
    • When the merfolk of the Atlantic Ocean attempted to create a portal for Zalgo, it only worked for ten minutes (letting out a jackal-headed man from the Pit). Afterward, Zalgo was furious and cursed the entire North Atlantic ocean, which resulted in the creation of the infamous Bermuda Triangle.
    • Zalgo shook hands with Stalin after being summoned by him and gave him ideas of how to defeat the Axis. However, in return, Zalgo demanded Stalin create him a portal, only revealing it to him when it was too late. Due to Stalin not having the materials to do so, Zalgo gave Stalin such terrible nightmares that his brain nearly exploded, eventually killing him.
    • When a random man failed to complete a portal for Zalgo, Zalgo cursed the man into a monstrous form with abnormally large feet as punishment so he would never be accepted by society. The man later became the infamous cryptid known as Bigfoot.
    • Zalgo gave George Washington secrets that helped him defeat the British. But when George's attempt at a steam-powered portal sank into a swamp, Zalgo gave Washington such bad nightmares that he ground his teeth into dust in his sleep and then had to get wooden ones, and threatened to do the same to his family. Washington had his men build a tapestry of Zalgo in order to appease him. The same tapestry appears at the end of "Native American Throwdown".
    • Zalgo helped Stanley Kubrick fake the US moon landing, hoping that, in return, Kubrick would convince NASA to build a functioning portal. When NASA rejected the proposal, Zalgo stripped Kubrick of his sanity and cursed him with bizarre nightmares, which, in an ironic twist, ended up helping him in his film career.
  • According to Comickit, simply saying Zalgo's name is enough to send both Earth and Under Realm beings in panic. Even Enderman, the Rake, X, Shadowlurker, Laughing Jack, and Lord Squoomian are afraid of him. Ms. P is terrified of him, and thinks their only hope against him is to get Slenderman involved. BEN, Sally, Princess Atta, and even the Unwanted House Guest are terrified of him as well. Also, some episodes imply that Aton is somewhat afraid of him.
  • According to the Unwanted House Guest's notes, Zalgo's true name, Za'lgatoth, is cursed and anyone who says it out loud can be instantly located and tracked by Zalgo himself.
  • His cape is made out of the skin of his first born child.
  • Zalgo ignites a red flame in his hand when, in order to seal a deal, he shakes the hand of the other party.
  • The mouth on Zalgo's head is used for talking while the ones on his abdomen are used for eating.
  • Zalgo is older than the universe. In fact, he is far older than time itself, as he is at least 1 trillion years old.
  • Aton implied at one point in his in-character Tumblr blog that he did not create Zalgo.
  • Zalgo is overall considered to be the most evil Pastamonsters villain. He's a sadistic, tyrannical dictator who loves to inflict pain and suffering on others (children included), but what sets him apart from the other villains is that while most villains usually have some form of a redemption arc or are at least some redeeming qualities, he continuously refuses to be redeemed even when given mercy. He lacks any kind of virtues, being lazy, spoiled, a dirty fighter, not particularly smart, and wanting only his own gratification. The only other villains in the series to come remotely even close to Zalgo's level of evil are Laughing Jack, X and Mancala.
    • This is even backed up by the show's creator, Comickit. Comickit once said in an interview "Zalgo is the literal embodiment of evil. You should base your question within the Pastamonsters world and not ours, in the universe of Pastamonsters, there is nothing more evil than Zalgo."
    • Zalgo has even managed to disgust other villains in the series for his vileness, Aton calls him the vilest creature he's ever met, Malitch outright compares him to cancer, Slenderman calls him the "darkest soul in the Under Realm", and Enderman calls him insane and a madman.
  • Comickit once revealed in a livestream that Zalgo enjoys throwing fancy parties. He is also very materialistic and vain, so he likes the attention parties bring and an excuse to show off his insurmountable riches achieved by many millennia of avarice and theft.
  • Zalgo was redesigned at least once; Comickit felt that his original design was not scary enough.
  • In a code on the "July 29th" page in the real-life UHG's notes, it is revealed that, when Splendorman was caught halfway in the portal, he saw Zalgo "removing his exoskeleton to feed".
  • It is stated numerous times that he is made from pure energy, not skin and bones, which Zalgo states himself in one episode. Despite this, when he gets his face melted in "Legends of the Multiverse Part 7", one can see bones and sinew under his face.
  • President Bush and Smile Dog seems to be capable of sensing Zalgo's presence.
  • In Season 2, he was originally going to be a one-shot villain, but with so many cameo appearances and having some connections to Slenderman and the Pastamonsters lore, he became the main villain of the entire series.
  • BEN has stated that Zalgo once shook hands with Stalin.
  • In the Summoning Gods, Demons, and other Anomalies section of the Pastamonsters Handbook, the steps to summoning Zalgo are scribbled out with a message to the side that reads "DO NOT SUMMON. ZALGO CANNOT BE TRUSTED!!!". It is implied the Unwanted House Guest was the one who scribbled it out.
  • Contrary to popular belief, Zalgo cannot be identified as male or female, as he is a being above the concept of gender or race. He also claims his home dimension has 14 billion different gender identities and there is paperwork involved in determining sexual orientation and he's not exactly been keeping track of his.
  • Unlike other members of his race, Zalgo keeps his mental state and can speak, as opposed to simply roaring or growling. This is because he was already extremely violent, murderous, sadistic and insane and his demonic instinct had no effect on his mentality.
  • Contrary to popular belief, Zalgo is not the cause behind the evil in the Under Realm. In fact, it was the evil that attracted Zalgo to the realm.
  • A character heavily resembling Zalgo appeared in the Sonic Boom episode Nominatus Rising.
  • Originally, Zalgo's death involved him getting violently bisected by Jeff with the Sword of Splendorman, but Comickit chose to have Shadowlurker kill Zalgo because it felt more "satisfying". Funny enough, X dies in a very similar way courtesy to BEN.
  • Comickit has once said in an a interview that if Zalgo had a human form it would look nothing like the human Zalgo one would see on Tumblr, but he would look like a horrifying, grotesque, barely-human monster instead.
  • Zalgo was originally going to be an omnipotent neutral trickster similar to how Aton is portrayed, as opposed to the much more malevolent and chaotic deposition that would later characterize him.
  • It is implied on some occasions that Zalgo believes himself to be a hero and liberator among non-mortal lifeforms. He claims he wants to liberate all dimensions and make it a fun world with no rules or restrictions. However, that would render it pure chaos inhospitable to non-demonic life. Considering his sadism and how he admits he's insane either way, it's very likely his claim is just an excuse for his own enjoyment.
  • According to Comickit, Zalgo's favorite holiday is April Fools Day. On this day, he enjoys playing (albeit incredibly lethal) pranks on nearby planets and his enemies, like making it rain acid, mix and matching random objects, causing the entire planet to roll in place, and carving "ZALGO WAS HERE" into the planets using his lasers.
  • According to Comickit, if Zalgo was in Hogwarts, his house would be Slytherin and his boggart would be "his own corpse".
  • Zalgo had a cameo in Comickit's Tumblr comic Fun with Colorz. He is briefly seen on a computer monitor displaying the multiverse's greatest threats. When Dez is wandering an alleyway, "ZALGO IS WATCHING" can be seen spray-painted on a wall. It's very likely that these references are towards "Pastamonsters" Zalgo , since the two series are considered to occur in the same multiverse.
  • Zalgo once wrote a bible for compulsive lying that he gifted to the Zalgo cult.

Navigation

           Pastamonsters Villains

Slenderman and the Proxies
Slenderman | Mr. X | Jeff the Killer | BEN Drowned | Ms. Pencilneck | Laughing Jack

Enderman's gang
Enderman | B.O.B | The Rake

The Pit
The Great Lord | Zalgo | Shadowlurker | The Minions of Zalgo | X

Rouge Villains
The Stiltwalker | Grinny Cat | Mancala | Unwanted House Guest | The Hag | Evil Jeff | President Bush | Malitch | Mayor Bigmouth |


Aton's Forces
Aton