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Villain Overview
This pathetic world will end under my wrath. The New Elite and Aton are still out there planning my downfall, but these fools wont live long enough to see it. The multiverse is mine. I lurk over this realm as the supreme master. Your suffering is my ecstasy. All who ally themselves with Aton will burn in the eternal flames of your sins. Do you think you can escape me? Tiny, silly insignificant fool. It's too late to try to stop what has been foretold for eons long past. Everything you care about, all of the secrets you have kept, all you know has changed. The good thoughts are now gone. Your worst nightmares are now reality. This is your nightmare for me to control. I wont let you go and I wont let you leave this nightmare alive. You will suffer the same demise as the rest. Let's see if you can make it.
~ Zalgo during the opening narration of "Legends of the Multiverse Part 7".


Z̘̠̟̮̘̹̣a̸̰͉̗̹̟͙'̴̠̭̼͇̰̗̬l̗g͏̻͔̪̮a̧͚̰t͓͕́oth̵̭̬̱̥, or most commonly Zalgo, is the overarching and overall main antagonist of the webcomic series Pastamonsters. He served as an unseen background character in Season 1, a minor antagonist in Season 2, one of the main antagonists of Season 3, and the main antagonist of Season 4.

He is the supreme ruler of the Pit as well as the Nightmare Realm, and is an immensely powerful interdimensional demon. He is also Slenderman and Splendorman's biological father. He is a malevolent and mysterious entity of chaos and evil that lives in a palace of tortured souls known as the Pit, served by legions of monsters who worship him as a god. Zalgo is prophesied to destroy all of existence after he absorbs the energy of the Multiverse Crystals and poisons the multiverse with chaos and death. Born from the essence of the Great Lord long before the creation of our universe, Zalgo has loomed over the multiverse for eons, with his very name being reacted to with fear and revulsion. Zalgo is known for his mysterious demeanor, sadistic sense of humor, manipulative and corrupting ways, and desire for total chaos.

During the events of the series, Zalgo is summoned by Enderman, and proceeded to manipulate Eyeless Jack into nearly destroying the universe, only for the monster to end up betraying Zalgo in the end. Shortly after, Zalgo and his minions launched a universe-scaled campaign to obtain the Multiverse Crystals, which marked the beginning of the Second Great Monster War. Following the Battle of Arcosia, he obtained all twelve Multiverse Crystals, killed Slenderman and defeated the Proxies before successfully absorbing the crystals' powers and corrupting the entire multiverse. Soon after, a Resistance was formed against Zalgo, composed of the Proxies and every ally they met on their journey, who rose up to take back the Multiverse. Zalgo and his forces engaged the Resistance in a final battle dubbed "The Battle of the Multiverse", which ended in a decisive victory for the Resistance and the ultimate defeat and death of Zalgo. However, even after his demise, his actions still haunt the universe.

Personality

Zalgo is evil incarnate; he embodies the very essence of a satanic overlord. He has ruled the Pit for eons and does not take kindly to disobedience. He views the very concept of peace and kindness as ridiculous and laughs at the idea of showing it. Zalgo is responsible for countless genocides, with planets, galaxies, villages, and small settlements being completely destroyed and enslaved, alongside all their inhabitants, while nature itself is left to rot or decimated to make room for Zalgo's strongholds. It is likely that religions are also affected, given Zalgo's loathing towards all that are good and sacred. While Zalgo has recreated numerous planets into his own image, he is often just as satisfied with leaving entire areas barren wastelands, seeing the carnage as reminders of his power to the general populace. Atrocities are a daily occurrence under Zalgo's rule, as he welcomes demonic henchmen from across the universe and sends them to planets that are still fully occupied, entrusting the new arrivals to wipe the populaces so he may take over. The lives of the people he corrupts, ruins, and destroys hold no merit to him, and he finds amusement in tormenting and turning people's worlds upside-down. He also sees reality as "worthless," and values its destruction.

Zalgo displays many symptoms of antisocial personality disorder. While Zalgo is a being of absolute evil and not human in any way, much of his behavior does resemble what a violent psychopath may act like in real life. Zalgo only cares about subjecting others to his rule and maintaining his reign of terror, and making everyone around him as miserable as possible to alleviate his own boredom. He occasionally puts on a (halfheartedly) friendly facade over his sadism and cruelty. Furthermore, he's incredibly manipulative and cunning. He is deeply selfish, egomaniacal, and arrogant, as he desires to make the universe a lawless wasteland while not caring about what happens to others as a result. His arrogance stems from the fact that he believes that he will always win in the end and as such he brushes off all of his opponents as "mortal fools".

One of Zalgo's most infamous traits is his incredibly abusive and abhorrent nature towards his family, followers, and underlings. Viewing his own wife as a slave, he frequently abused her and had her humiliated, beaten, threatened her with death and rape, and threatened he would hunt down and kill their children if she ran away with them. Zalgo is shown to be something of a perfectionist, and expected nothing less from his soldiers as any failure in his eyes will be met with extreme punishment, if not death. He does not hesitate to use his powers to hurt, mutilate, or kill whichever minion displeases him, as seen from the many times he has tortured the Shadowlurker or killed his own men, which he takes great enjoyment in. He also reacts violently to criticism or if his plans either fail or if his pride is abashed. In some cases, Zalgo was willing to sacrifice his own troops, as shown when he ordered his warships to attack Slenderman with a barrage of missiles. Even when Shadowlurker informed him that his own men were in the strike zone and would definitely be killed, Zalgo furiously demanded the strike be done anyway. This behavior has caused many of his minions and followers to be absolutely terrified of his wrath, regardless of how loyal and devoted they are to him.

He is also very masochistic and enjoys hurting himself, as seen when he tortures Masky's body while possessing it, even ripping the entire skin off of his arm, right down to flesh and bone. Zalgo also has no issues with kidnapping, torturing, or killing children, as shown with BEN, Sally Williams, and Slenderman and Splendorman in their youth, to speak nothing of the hundreds, if not thousands of his own children he murdered after they failed to inherit his demonic powers. He also trapped a young Alice Liddell in a warped version of Wonderland after the young girl failed to complete a deal with him. He personally killed Ash Graven's young sister by absorbing her life and corrupting her into a mindless zombie.

At his core, Zalgo relishes glory, power, agony, dominance, control, and destruction, as he shows in his enjoyment in slaughtering thousands of rebel armies, as well as his maniacal glee from destroying planets and making his enemies suffer before he kills them, and often made one's circumstances even worse than death if they still longed to fight him. Such was the case of Oliver Ubiquitous when he tried to stop Zalgo from destroying his planet. As punishment, Zalgo cursed Oliver, turning him into a monster now known as Mr. Widemouth, and imprisoned him into the Pit and forced him to watch as he slaughtered everyone that he loved and destroyed his kingdom. Afterward, Zalgo cursed him with immortality and refused to grant him a warrior's death and join his people in the afterlife.

Despite seeming like a serious and no-nonsense demon, Zalgo possesses a dry sense of humor and a strong sense of theatrics, often joking when he was in a good mood and mocked his enemies and allies alike whenever and however he could. Whenever he is accused of being insane, Zalgo proudly agrees with the statement. Zalgo was also rather "genre savvy", and occasionally broke the fourth wall or lamp-shaded either his own villainous tendencies or various cliche situations. He is witty, hammy, and outlandish, as well as a quick talker and thinker, coming off as rather comical despite generally being a total monster without any sympathetic or redeeming characteristics. However, despite his comedic moments, Zalgo is still presented as a bloodthirsty and heartless sadist who is a genuine threat to all of existence. Many of his jokes are rather dark and when Zalgo decides to get serious, he's treated seriously and is by far the most terrifying thing in the series. All of his villainy is accompanied by a strange and twisted sense of humor, and he is utterly remorseless about all of his crimes. Taking over and/or destroying the universe is no different; he's doing it because it's all just a funny, cosmic joke to him.

One of Zalgo's most defining traits is his utter hatred towards mortal beings. He openly views mortals as garbage and takes great enjoyment in their anguish and death, rarely, if ever, letting them join his army. Despite his hatred of them, Zalgo understands mortals enough to manipulate them into one-sided deals. He has made deals with millions, possibly billions, of people, and nearly all of them have ended in the dealer suffering a horrible fate in the long run, mostly because whatever Zalgo wants in return far outweighs anything they could desire. For example, Alice Liddell made a deal with Zalgo - in return for a way out of Wonderland and returning home to her family, she would have the sacrifice one of her family members. When she refused to give up her father's soul (which Zalgo knew she wouldn't do), Zalgo cursed her with immortality and forced her to live in a twisted version of Wonderland (now dubbed Underland) for the rest of her life, never able to join her family on Earth again. In a similar event, Zalgo deceived the population of Serepentis into worshiping him as a deity who would save their dying planet. He offered them a portal to a safe world, but the portal, in reality, led to the Pit of Despair, where they were tortured and brainwashed into being mindless zombies for Zalgo's army. Afterward, Zalgo destroyed Serepentis while cackling maniacally. Zalgo has no empathy towards anyone he makes deals with, as evident by him calling the The Unwanted House Guest a "pleb" after he had tricked him into freeing him from banishment. Zalgo also seems to have knowledge of how to use human feelings of hatred and anger to his favor, as shown the many times he exploited Jeff's anger and recklessness. He is an expert manipulator and a masterful liar, and is clearly capable of fooling hundreds into trusting him long enough for him to betray them in a heartbeat, and is falsely affable enough to influence others into playing pawns or making deals with him (which he will almost always double-cross to his advantage).

Despite his vast knowledge of the multiverse and all its inhabitants, Zalgo actually seems confused by the concept of human morality, finding it ridiculous and "weird" that humans would care for one another. Zalgo also can't understand self-sacrifice, especially for a family member. However, this might be subverted with one simple fact: Zalgo is a sadist. Zalgo is shown at various times to fully comprehend human morality to the fullest and knows exactly how to manipulate them, and he knows full and well he's absolutely wicked and cruel and takes pride in it. He demonstrates this the many times he agrees with people who call him insane. Coupled with the fact Zalgo clearly enjoys delivering pain into living beings and one cannot solidly dismiss Zalgo's actions completely under his bizarre origins, because he clearly understands humans and understands the beings he's tormenting are in agony but refuses to relent because the suffering of others amuses him. Zalgo is very openly remorseless and the true nature of Zalgo's species is too vague to really call these natural parts of his morality. In some cases, he goes out of his way to do horribly cruel things simply to show how cruel he is. His inability to understand why humans care for each other is way more along the lines of him not comprehending the concept of kindness, and ultimately, Zalgo's little more than a complete and utter psychopath who openly acknowledges and takes pride in this fact.

For an ancient and powerful demonic overlord, Zalgo is, ultimately, rather petty and immature. His motivation for trying to conquer the multiverse is simply to create a lawless world and have fun, all the while treating everything with a dark sense of humor. Not to mention that he easily gets bored or irritated when things aren't going his way. When things don't go in his favor, Zalgo acts like a spoiled brat and can get explosively angry fairly easily. For example, when he learned that he and his minions were unable to enter Aton's realm, Zalgo responded by killing at least two of his henchmen with red lightning and screamed and spewed out profanity. He also lost his temper when Enderman closed off his deal with him and threw a chair at one of his henchmen when the New Elite escaped his hydra trap. Sometimes his anger can even impede his desire to complete his goals, perhaps most infamously shown when Zalgo planned to murder BEN and Sally for disfiguring and mocking him, even though he needed them alive to blackmail Jeff. He is also shown to be a bit of an attention hog, demonstrated when he calls Masky when he's in the hospital recovering from Zalgo's possession of his body, he keeps rambling about how there is no escape from him, then gets agitated and rants when Masky nonchalantly puts him on hold.

However, in his final moments, Zalgo is shown to be absolutely terrified of dying as seen when being exploited by his own weakness. When the New Elite activated their zodiac powers, they beat Zalgo and corner him in, and he pathetically begs for his life and tries to bargain with them. He was so afraid of death that he couldn't face it with any dignity.

Overall, Zalgo is nothing but an arrogant sadist who seems to take pleasure only in fear and suffering. At first seeming innocent, his true colors are hinted at when he torched his own family, even watching them burn with glee. After becoming the leader of the Pit, however, Zalgo really showed his true colors, causing multiple wars simply to sit back and enjoy the chaos unfold. Among his many cruel acts, Zalgo trapped a young Alice Liddell in Underland, tortured the Shadowlurker countless times, cursed Mr. Widemouth with his monstrous form and destroyed his home planet, ordered a crowd of peasants executed because one of them threw trash at him, forces his starved prisoners to kill each other in exchange for their freedom, at the risk of being killed anyway, tricked Jeff into permanently killing his family's souls for no other reason than his own personal amusement enjoyment, and eventually kills and skins the Unwanted House Guest and taunts Jeff over his death. Later it is revealed that Zalgo sent Ash Graven's sister to the Pit of Despair after promising her freedom. Once Ash Graven finally finds her sister, her sister was a mentally broken slave who was not who she used to be, and Ash was forced to leave her to burn when the Pit of Despair was destroyed. When Jeff interrogates one of Zalgo's top henchmen, he learns that when Zalgo calls a hit on someone, he has the target's whole family killed as well, with Zalgo ordering Shadowlurker to go after the King of Arcosia's two children. When he found out a way into Aton's realm, Zalgo planned on going on a multiverse-scaled killing spree to satisfy his bloodlust as soon as he has finished with the Proxies and Aton. In the end, Zalgo was merely a vicious, vengeful dictator who believed ruling meant everyone was his to torment.

Appearance

Zalgo is a jet-skinned demon with spiked horns on his head. He has red sclera with black, snake-line pupils, and has red fangs that appear to be constantly leaking blood. He has no visible neck, as such his head always appears to be floating from his body. He has sharp and elongated shoulders and on his chest are three smiling mouths. He also has several mouths all across his body and wears a flowing, red cape. When angry or enraged, Zalgo's eyes gain a red mist around them and glow bright red to the point where his pupils aren't visible. If necessary, Zalgo's body or eyes can portray images similarly to a television screen, all of which are seemingly what he is thinking about at the time.

In the "Legends of the Multiverse" finale, Zalgo assumes his most horrifying and terrible form of all, that of a colossal red version of himself with six different arms, multiple spikes on his horns and head, three eyes protruding from the top of his head, three additional eyes, gigantic bat wings, six legs resembling a spider, sharp teeth, and the mouths on his abdomen resembling an evil smile. He assumes this form when hunting down BEN and Sally.

As Infinite Zalgo, his ultimate form, Zalgo appears as a multiverse-sized, intangible cloud of strands and fumes of darkness with his face on it. The rest of his form is lined with an endless number of Zalgo's face and eyes across the entire multiverse.

While possessing a person, that person's body will take on a pale tone to their skin, and their eyes will appear red with black slits, similar to his own.

List of victims killed by Zalgo

Victims killed by Zalgo

Personally killed by Zalgo

  • His original family: They were killed by Zalgo in an unknown way, presumably burned to death.
  • The entire population of Mr. Widemouth's planet: Zalgo and his minions massacred them in order to steal their planet's resources.
  • Countless unnamed children: Killed when they failed to inherit Zalgo's abilities.
  • Two unnamed guards: Killed with red lightning in a fit of rage.
  • Joseph Korso: As punishment for failing to keep Arcosian under Zalgo's rule, Zalgo shape-shifted into a swarm of flesh-eating piranha beetles and attacked Korso's eyes, ears, and his face, and putting him in excruciating pain for an hour. After hours of sadistic torture, Korso died and Zalgo had his minions mount his mangled corpse above Zalgo's throne.
  • Joseph Stalin: Due to Stalin not having the materials to create a gateway to Earth, Zalgo gave Stalin such terrible nightmares that his brain nearly exploded, eventually killing him.
  • Multiple Proxies-in-training: Zalgo kidnapped a group of young Proxies, dismembered and mutilated them, and sown their body parts back together at random before sending them back to Slenderman.
  • Shadowlurker: Killed for failing to stop the green surge; although he was later revived by Zalgo himself.
  • Henchman #13: When X became Zalgo's second right-hand man, Zalgo killed an unnamed henchman because he would no longer be useful with X around.
  • Flame-Head: Murdered for not giving him the coordinates of a planet.
  • Harp Graven: Tricked Harp and all other Serepentians into going into the Pit of Despair, where she slowly rotted away from starvation and psychological torture.
  • Serepentians: They were all turned into mindless zombies and had their lives absorbed.
  • Motaro: When Motaro challenged him, Zalgo killed him in an extremely brutal way, according to Scorpion.
  • Flagg: Zalgo killed him for neglecting to tell Zalgo that the Proxies Zalgo-proofed Proxy Mansion, stopping Zalgo from getting the Multiverse Crystals.'
  • Numerous henchmen: It is mentioned that many of Zalgo's minions were killed by him for failing to capture any of the Multiverse Crystals.
  • Clara: Zalgo, having possessed the Unwanted House Guest, violently killed Clara in an unknown way, presumably ripping her apart.
  • Stukka: While he was working on planting fire bombs on the doors of the Realm Travel Chamber, Zalgo blew them up to kill him for absolutely no reason.
  • Arcosians: Most of the Arcosian Royal Army were massacred in various ways for opposing him.
  • Slenderman: Zalgo absorbed Slenderman's power and by extension his life essence, killing him; although Slenderman was later revived using the Sword of Splendorman.
  • Two Inquisitors: While lecturing the Shadowlurker on how people used to treat their bodyguards in ancient times, Zalgo makes an example and brutally murdered two nearby Inquisitors, the first by frying him with heat vision, and the second by squeezing his head until it popped.
  • Two unnamed demonic henchman: Killed in a fit of rage.
  • Unnamed lizard henchman: Zalgo killed him by telekinetically ripping his atoms apart when the minion tried to tell Zalgo to forget about Aton.
  • Everyone in the Under Realm: Zalgo destroyed the Under Realm during the Battle of the Multiverse, killing everyone present in the battle, except for Mr. Widemouth, Princess Atta, Scorpion, Sub-Zero, Alice Liddell, Enderman's team, who all narrowly escape the destruction. The Under Realm and the victims were restored when Zalgo was defeated, thus preventing their deaths.
  • Minions of Zalgo: When Zalgo destroyed the Under Realm, he failed (or perhaps didn't bother) to tell his minions that he was doing so, causing nearly all of his minions present to be caught in the blast and killed.
  • Prince Astor: Astor was killed when he protected his sister, Princess Atta, from Zalgo's lightning bolt attack, causing Zalgo to inadvertently kill him. However, he was later revived upon Zalgo's defeat.
  • Countless number of unnamed people off-screen

Killed under Zalgo's orders

  • Countless alien races: Millions, if not billions of alien species have been massacred by Zalgo's minions, typically out of his orders.
  • Akira Enslaved and starved to death by Zalgo to prevent getting in the way of his plans.
  • Gróa's husband: Killed by the Shadowlurker under Zalgo's orders.
  • Gróa: Devoured by X under Zalgo's orders when she refused to give him the Unwanted House Guest's notes.
  • The Unwanted House Guest: Devoured by X so Zalgo could use his skin to disguise himself as him.

Attempted Victims

  • Splendorman
  • Sexual Offenderman
  • Ash Graven
  • Jeff the Killer
  • BEN
  • Sally Williams
  • Ms. Pencil Neck
  • Grinny the Cat
  • Smile Dog
  • Eyeless Jack
  • Alyss Christer
  • Masky
  • Hoodie
  • President Bush
  • Ducky
  • Shadowlurker
  • Ticci Toby
  • Officer Gutierrez
  • Clockwork
  • Scorpion
  • Sub-Zero
  • Mr. Widemouth
  • Samantha Sampson
  • Aton
  • Alice Liddell
  • Hera
  • Sheriff Wayne
  • Cronos
  • Speedy
  • Toog
  • Jil'Nor
  • Princess Atta

Powers and Abilities

Despite not being quite as powerful as Aton, Zalgo is still one of the most powerful cosmic entities to ever lived and is still not without his own set of nigh-omnipotent powers.

  • Interdimensional Entity Physiology: Zalgo is an interdimensional being and thus possesses extraordinary abilities far beyond the comprehension of mortals. Zalgo possesses incredible godlike strength, speed, shapeshifting, size-shifting, and reflexes that allow him to overpower and severely injure beings as strong as Slenderman, Splendorman, and Aton's Elite, but also even smaller and highly agile individuals as well, such as Jeff the Killer, President Bush, Ticci Toby, and Eyeless Jack. In addition to his physical power, Zalgo is effectively immortal and does not age beyond his prime, as he reigned as emperor of the Pit for roughly billions of years without any change to his power or appearance. Zalgo also does not have any internal organs or visible genitalia, claiming that he is a "being of pure energy with no weakness".
    • Nigh-Omnipotence: In his "Infinite Zalgo" form, Zalgo gained nearly omnipotent levels of power, with full control over matter, reality, space, and time itself, making him the one of the most powerful entities in the multiverse and wielding such near-limitless levels of power that allows him to do seemingly anything he desires effortlessly. With this level of power, Zalgo had the power to corrupt and even become the entire multiverse. In this form, he is omnipresent, intangible, invincible and nigh-undefeatable, to the point where the only way to even harm and defeat him is to activate the Zalgo Zodiac. The only person shown to be able to fight this form one-on-one was Ash Graven after fully awakening her powers, but even then she became overwhelmed by Zalgo's incredible healing abilities.
    • Energy Manipulation: Zalgo had complete control over the destructive force of his powers. Due to his strong understanding and familiarity with his demonic abilities, he is capable of creating a wide plethora of versatile and dangerous capabilities, such as firing beams of energy from his body. Typically, whenever Zalgo activates his powers, his eyes glow bright red.
      • Eye Beams: One of Zalgo's most commonly utilized attacks, that ability tended to manifest as beams of red light that typically incinerated the objects that it made contact with. It could be used either as continuous beams of light, or as staccato bolts of energy. Zalgo had used that ability in numerous battles with his enemies, as well as to destroy the surface of entire planets. The beams could also slice through objects like a plasma torch, or caused them to explode.
      • Pyrokinetic Abilities/Immunity: Zalgo was born within the fires of the Pit, thus he is capable of manipulating it, bathing in, and producing flames and lava alike. He was capable of incinerating entire civilizations with just a touch of his claws. He also produced enough lava to flood an entire planet and can use his powers to perform a wide variety of techniques, such as the rapid creation of flame henchman, obsidin spikes, and walls. He can use his magic to propel himself across a flame surface. Zalgo also displayed the ability to create flame demons and imbue them with life, enabling them to move of their own accord. This ability can manifest itself consciously, as was the case with his demonic henchmen. Zalgo is capable of creating fireballs, powerful torrents of flames, and many other likewise abilites. Zalgo also is clearly not bothered by the heat, preferring most of his homes be in hellish wastelands and fiery dimensions like the Pit; he was seen casually living in his fiery hell known as the Pit without exhibiting any signs of discomfort. And as many souls would burn and suffer the unbearable heat, Zalgo remained casual and unharmed, a further indication of Zalgo's affinity to the heat.
    • Energy Detonation: Zalgo is able to unleash destructive energy to charge objects with unstable explosive energy with just a single gesture from his fingers, causing them to overload and violently detonate. This ability proves to be the most commonly used out of all his diverse capabilities due to its great versatility and combat potential thanks to his ability to control the time and size of the detonation, whether instantly or slowly or how devastating, allowing him to use it with devastating efficiency, as Zalgo normally uses it to destroy planets, while giving himself time to teleport out to safety.
    • Force-Field Generation: Zalgo can manipulate energy reserves to manifest extremely powerful red force fields of energy capable of instantly vaporizing weapons thrown at him, and even blocking the energy of Ms. P and Ash Graven's incredibly powerful magic-based attacks.
    • Supernatural Strength: Despite not looking very muscular, Zalgo is shown to be immensely strong to an incalculable degree. He is able to pick up and play with an entire planet like they were basketballs, easily overpowered and practically toyed with the Proxies and their allies when they engaged him in a physical fight, and was able to overpower Slenderman's tendrils when the latter tried to subdue him in them.
    • Shapeshifting: Zalgo can immediately transform himself into any kind of being, regardless of the size or nature of the form. Zalgo has taken the forms of a giant statue, a tiny scorpion, a dragon, a hydra, a chimera, a giant black octopus, a giant spider, a demonic gorilla, flying leeches, a cat, a human, and an even more demonic version of himself during his final battle with the Proxies. He is also capable of shapeshifting into other beings and able to perfectly imitate their voices, such as when he secretly shifted into BEN to steal Slenderman's safe code from the Proxies, or morphed into Ash's deceased sister Harp. Between shapeshifting, Zalgo is an orange glowing lava-like goo.
      • Duplication: Zalgo has the ability to create a seemingly endless number of duplicates of himself. In order to lure the New Elite into a trap, Zalgo created a fake version of himself so that Ash could "kill" him. Said illusion was so convincing that the illusion of himself was able to physically interact with the environment, as he was able to be engaged by and even killed by Ash. During his final fight against Ash, he multiplies into an army of her deceased sister Harp in an act of psychological warfare.
    • Size Alteration: Zalgo is able to grow or shrink to a seemingly limitless degree. Zalgo could grow so large that he was able to carve his name into entire planets and even take massive bites out of said planets. He is also able to increase the size of his body parts as he did with his fist.
    • Dream-Walking: Living up to being called a "Dream Demon", Zalgo could enter the dreams of anyone he desires, and could even warp said dreams to his liking. This was shown during his "friendship" with the Unwanted House Guest, where Zalgo could enter his mind whenever he wanted to play friendly games with him and continue building the Multiverse Portal. Zalgo could also enter the dreams of other powerful beings, as shown when he entered Slenderman's mind to get the combination to the safe after making a deal with Enderman.
    • Pain Inducement: Zalgo was able to use his powers as a very effective form of torture by exposing an individual to the energy of his powers to cause them a tremendous pain while limiting the amount of energy sent into the body of said being to avoid killing them. This was potent enough to cause even Slenderman an excruciating amount of pain. He can also use this ability as a permanent (or at least as long as he's alive) curse on others, as shown with the Shadowlurker. The pain is compared to being stabbed with pins and needles and also keeps Shadowlurker sleepless, incredibly paranoid, and aggravated.
    • Electricity Manipulation: Zalgo could conjure a current of electrical energy from his eyes and fingertips, that were capable of inflicting severe pain on the target of this attack, leaving them convulsing and writhing in agony. Depending on what his intentions were, the lightning could simply stun the target, torture them to death slowly, or simply vaporize them instantly.
    • Dark Aura: Zalgo had the ability to conjure a miniature storm of malevolent energy and lightning around him, which sickened, crippled, and tortured all caught within its radius.
    • Black Breath: Zalgo created a poisoning, toxic mist known as Black Breath to act as a deterrent to those who wanted to steal his Multiverse Crystal hidden in the Nightmre Realm. Only the pure Sword of Splendorman could dispel it.
    • Intangibility: Zalgo had the ability to phase through solid matter with ease. This ability also applies to other beings and their attacks, allowing them and their magical blasts or weapons to harmlessly pass through Zalgo's body. In one instance, Jeff attempted to tackle Zalgo, only to go right through the dark lord's body and run into a wall. Zalgo is also capable of making other beings intangible in order to phase and unphase objects out of space, rendering them incorporeal and just as easily make them corporeal again, as he easily made Hoodie intangible when he tried to attack Zalgo and then rendered it corporeal again to trap him in solid stone.
    • Telekinesis: Zalgo was very proficient in moving objects by focusing on them, even objects lightyears away from him.
    • Soul Removal: Zalgo was capable of removing the soul from a living being and entrap them within himself in order to possess their bodies. In this state, the soulless cannot interact with living beings unless they possess someone else or an object, and if their physical bodies are destroyed, they will become trapped in the Pit forever.
    • Absorption: Zalgo had the ability to absorb anything - whether it was energy or other living beings - and use it to strengthen his own power. While doing this, Zalgo opens the mouth on his abdomen and the essence and power within the object he is absorbing will travel inside his mouth and body. He can also absorb the life of others by trapping them in the Pit of Despair. This was shown when he absorbed the powers of the Multiverse Crystals, allowing him to fully corrupt the entire multiverse. He also absorbed Slenderman in a very similar way.
    • Weather Manipulation: Zalgo had the ability to manipulate the weather to his own desire, such as acid rain, massive earthquakes, and screaming tornadoes made of blood.
    • Sonic Scream: Zalgo can produce very powerful and demonic screams powerful enough to cause space-quakes and deafen people.
    • Immortality: A significant aspect of Zalgo's power-set is that Zalgo is ageless and immortal. He requires no sustenance, such as sleep, food, or water, and cannot be harmed by any mortal methods. Only the power of mystical sources like Aton's magic, Slenderman's powers, divine entities, or those capable of matching his power are capable of hurting him and bring about his destruction. The Unwanted House Guest, who knows more about Zalgo than anyone in the universe, also stated that Zalgo was older than our galaxy, and several episodes show Zalgo being around several eons before the creation of our universe. He also can bestow this ability as a curse as he once did to the Mr. Widemouth so that he would be imprisoned for eternity and unable to join his friends and family in the afterlife.
      • Self-Sustenance: Zalgo requires no food, sleep, or water to live.
    • Teleporting: Zalgo can use teleportation for himself and others at will, usually for quick appearances or escapes. He could even teleport across dimensions, as seen when he teleported from the Under Realm back to his lair in the Pit, and then to Arcosia and other assorted locations.
    • Reality-Warping: One of Zalgo's signature abilities is manipulating and corrupting the laws of reality, which he does with extreme proficiency. He claims that he can create new universes with even the most casual act, as well as destroy them, although he is never actually seen doing this (it has been shown he can create pocket dimensions, however). He at one point turned a planet into a giant gold coin and was also the one that turned Wonderland into the twisted, dark wasteland it is now. He also turned Slenderman's projectile attacks into various harmless objects, turned President Bush's pistol into tarantulas, turned an entire army into stone statues, and turned half of the New Elite into banners (Bush into a wooden decoy duck). Zalgo can also transform organic matter and distort the physical world, and cause a ripple in the space-time continuum that had the potential to destroy all of existence. After absorbing Slenderman and the Multiverse Crystals, Zalgo's powers grow stronger to the point he can manipulate reality on a multiversal scale. Zalgo's mere presence seems to suck the life out of his immediate surroundings, as seen when Enderman summoned him. During the summoning, the sky turned red, all water in the area turned to blood, and time around the two froze. In addition, Zalgo could also bring inanimate objects to life, such as when his "weirdness wave" brought the Under Realm's water tower, various trees, and even a planet to life.
      • Matter Transmutation: Zalgo is capable of warping the bodies of a living organism, as he easily turned President Bush into a wooden duck decoy, Splendorman into a golden statue, and most of the New Elite into puppets and latter banners for his castle, although it is only temporary, as they were all eventually returned to their original form after Zalgo's death. During their transformed state, Zalgo's victims are still conscious and aware of what is happening around them, as evidenced with the screaming faces on the New Elite banner. They are unable to communicate with anyone, and unlikely to be removed from this situation — not even by death — anytime unless Zalgo releases them.
    • Invisibility: Zalgo has the ability to turn himself invisible. This was shown in the second installment of "Legends of the Multiverse", where as upon unveiling his illusion to Ash, he initially talked to her unseen before revealing himself.
    • Flight/Interstellar Travel: Zalgo is capable of flying both in air and across space at amazing speeds well beyond the speed of light. Typically, when flying in space, Zalgo assumes the form of a ball of fire, similar to an asteroid.
      • Levitation: Zalgo can "fly" several feet off the ground and slowly descend back to the ground with ease. And while doing this he can dash upward and he will gain altitude quickly before descending.
    • Cosmic Awareness: Zalgo possesses an understanding of the workings of the universe on a cosmic scale, and has the ability to oversee other universes as he wishes.
    • Remote Viewing: Zalgo is also able to look through the eye of anything that is made in his image, allowing him to know what occurs even when he is not present, as shown with the Cult of Zalgo's statue, the banner of him in the White House, and the painting of Zalgo in the Unwanted House Guest's house.
    • Madness Inducement: Zalgo had the ability to affect the sanity of other beings, usually in a manner that causes them to become insane. One peek at Zalgo drove Malitch to insanity and even caused him to lose his memory.
    • Fourth-Wall Awareness: Zalgo is fully aware that he is a fictional character, and even claims that he can "see" the viewers and hear them breathing. He also was able to warp the comic's intro into a demonic version of it featuring him.
    • Illusion Creation: Zalgo can create, shape and manipulate illusions, causing targets to see, hear, touch, smell and/or taste things which do not actually exist or cause them to perceive things differently from what they truly are. Zalgo's illusions were best shown in the episode "Sisterhood", where he traps Ash in an elaborate maze of illusion, showing her horrific visions, such as Zalgo dropping her sister into a pit of flames, her home planet being destroyed while the people flee in terror, and a zombie version of her sister crawling with spiders attacking her. He then attacked her with an illusion of a giant, spider-like version of himself. If the victim manages to hurt Zalgo while he is making these illusions, they will instantly cease to exist, but this can usually only be done by those who can match his power.
    • Brainwashing: Zalgo has the power of brainwashing several minds simultaneously, typically through torture or dark magic. This also suggests that Zalgo has the ability to erase particular things from a person's memory or knowledge, as shown during his brutal brainwashing of the Shadowlurker.
    • Possession: Zalgo can possess people, whether they made a deal with him or out of his own will. While in the host's body, their eyes turn into Zalgo's red eyes. Generally, it appears that the weaker willed succumb to Zalgo's powerful mind control much faster. This ability presumably has no effect on Slenderman, Splendorman, or the Shadowlurker.
    • Corruption: One of Zalgo's most powerful abilities. Using dark magic, Zalgo could mutate normally harmless beings into monstrous versions of themselves. During one of his encounters with the Unwanted House Guest, Zalgo used that ability and transformed three small trolls into monsters in order to trick the Unwanted House Guest into killing them. It was also shown that if the corrupted creature died, the spell was broken and the creature transformed back to its original form. Zalgo could also corrupt Slenderman into turning into his true demonic form by manipulating the dark essence that was still in his body.
    • Healing/Regeneration: While Zalgo was completely resistant to most forms of attack, he was not fully invulnerable; items attacks powered by divine energy could do some serious damage to him. However, Zalgo was able to regenerate to a large degree, even against attacks such as those. These sort of assaults tended to create large, burning holes or gashes in Zalgo wherever he was struck, which he could close back up with effort. In extreme cases, his healing factor allows him to heal even if he is reduced to a single cell or drop of essence. In even worse cases, it's showcased that his healing is so powerful that he is able to regenerate even if his physical body is completely destroyed.
    • Earth Manipulation: Zalgo can cause earthquakes, move mountains and even shift a planet's tectonic plates using telekinesis.
    • Pocket Reality Creation: Zalgo had the ability to create a pocket dimension, a small personal world in which he has absolute control over its aspects. This was shown when he created Sallyland, a dream world for Sally Williams full of sentient creatures in order to trap and imprison her within with its temptations.
    • Gravity Manipulation: Zalgo has the ability to turn off gravity around him to where it only affects those around him.
    • Resurrection: Zalgo has the ability to resurrect once-dead beings back to life, restoring them to their original form and personality. Zalgo used this ability only once to restore Slenderman when he was mercy-killed by Ms. P, only to kill Slenderman again and take his power. It's also heavily suggested in the finale that he can resurrect himself should he be killed by speaking in a special incantation, but this remains to be seen.
    • Matter Manipulation: Zalgo was capable of controlling matter, being able to remove the atoms in organic beings and re-shape them into another for, or even remove them reality. This was shown when he reduced the Shadowlurker to atoms, only to quickly restore him to his normal form, simply to show off his powers. In a more violent showcase, Zalgo killed one of his minions by blowing his atoms apart, causing him to combust into a bloody, gory mess. Later, during the Battle of the Multiverse, he threatened to reduce the Under Realm and the primary universe to atoms.
    • Necromancy: Zalgo was capable of resurrecting the dead and bending them to his commanding will or simply let them run rampant.
    • Portal Creation: Zalgo had the ability to open gateways to any part of the universe or other dimensions, allowing him to effortlessly teleport himself to anywhere he desires at will. As such, Zalgo instantly warped himself to the Under Realm, the Pit and later Arcosia with ease. He can also take others with him, warping both himself, X and Shadowlurker out of the Under Realm upon capturing the Multiverse Crystals.
      • Dimensional Traveling: Zalgo is able to travel to other realities using said portals.
    • Curse-Bearing: Zalgo was capable of putting curses on people or even entire landscapes. Zalgo could turn beings into monsters against their will and even bestow immortality upon them to prolong their suffering, as show with Mr. Widemouth. Zalgo's curses also worked on entire landscapes, as he cursed the realm of Wonderland into becoming a dark, desolate wasteland and turned its inhabitants into monsters as well. He also cursed Shadowlurker with a spell that caused him crippling pain almost all the time, causing Shadowlurker to suffer from sleep deprivation and agony.
    • Elasticity: Zalgo can stretch and extend his limbs without any consequences.
    • Enhanced Senses: Zalgo's senses are far acuter than any normal human. He has perceived events so tiny and so fast they can hardly be said to have occurred at all. He can hear people talking from beyond space, and can see from lightyears away.
    • Photokinesis: Zalgo can shift the color frequencies of the light around him in order to appear as if he is glowing red. He is also capable of emitting a powerful light upon teleporting, essentially blinding whoever was looking at him.
    • Power Bestowment: Zalgo has the power to grant other beings power as well, whether as a curse or a gift. This was shown when he gave Mr. Widemouth and Alice Liddell immortality in order for them to suffer as long of possible in their cursed states. He also gave Shadowlurker powerful abilities similar to his own, making Shadowlurker incredibly powerful without the need to train his abilities.
    • Chronokinesis: Limited only to his perception of time, Zalgo can clearly see his future and past from a third-person perspective.
      • Precognition: Zalgo has the ability to foresee the future and future events. This is best showcased when he was able to foresee the destruction of the Ender-bot and implied at one point that Alice Liddell would die from a heart attack when she was 92. He also once implied he knew the exact time and date of Jeff's death and asked Jeff if he wanted to hear it, although Jeff did not take interest in Zalgo's question. How he was unable to foresee Shadowlurker's betrayal and his own death is likely just Plot-Induced Stupidity.
      • Time Travel: Zalgo can mentally travel throughout time at will. However, due to Aton's magic, he cannot interact with the environment or alter time in his favor.

  • Dealing: One of Zalgo's most noticeable abilities is that he can make a deal with someone to give the said someone who made a deal with him fame, power, or a request. Zalgo's hand will become surrounded in a red flame and once the person exchange a handshake, while the flame doesn't harm the person, the deal will be sealed. However, once the deal is sealed, Zalgo will want something in return that often ends up in his twisted methods. If the person breaks the deal, Zalgo's powers won't have any effects on him, as Enderman broke his deal with him when Zalgo failed to get the combination for Slenderman's safe. Also, making deals is the only way Zalgo's powers could have an effect but only to the ones who made a deal with him.
  • Extraordinary Intelligence: Aside from being monstrously powerful, Zalgo is incredibly cunning and smart to such a level that borders nigh-omniscience. He is said to know "lots of things", such as the truth of many well-known conspiracies as well as future events, like the destruction of Ender-bot and that Splendorman would return from the Pit. He also has a vast amount of knowledge of the multiverse and it's many artifacts and planets.
  • Manipulation: Another one of Zalgo's traits is that he is quite manipulative. Zalgo can flatter others, deceiving them by promising them anything, he can go as far to make deals with them only to betray at the end. Zalgo manipulated Masky on how he sacrificed everything to make the Proxies happy while they never return the favor, trapped Sally in a dream that contains her desires, he even tricked the Unwanted House Guest and Enderman, with the former admitting he lied and the latter being a skilled deceiver himself.
  • Master Torturer: Zalgo is shown to be highly accomplished and creative in many fields of torture, with his skills in torture being quite famous, as Shadowlurker implied Zalgo can cause so much suffering to the New Elite that they would beg for death itself. His mastery of torturing techniques allows him to inflict the maximum amount of damage without killing the subject, as when he tortured a young Splendorman and Slenderman in their childhoods. Zalgo even used his powers to slowly rip Shadowlurker's arms off, but he was casually able to give Shadowlurker immortality in order to cause him severe pain without killing him. The torture was effective enough that Shadowlurker claims that he would rather die than be tortured by Zalgo.

Despite his nigh-omnipotent powers and nigh-indestructibility, Zalgo does have a few weaknesses. 

  • Divine Power: Though Zalgo could not be harmed and killed by any mortal means, even the high-tech ones, those with divine power such as the Sword of Splendorman, Slenderman, and Aton were able to do so. According to the Unwanted House Guest, Zalgo could also be vanquished by "The strength of the human spirit and the virtue of human righteousness" since he was the incarnation of evil.
  • BEN's Black Stuff: BEN's Black Stuff is capable of melting Zalgo's skin on contact and also capable of rendering him unable to heal himself.
  • Arrogance: Although he is undeniably one of the most powerful characters in the entire series, he underestimates everyone else. He constantly and publicly belittles his loyal minions while showing everyone else less respect than even that. He is so sure of his victory and minion's loyalty, and so confident in the belief that his immensely strong demonic abilities render him essentially untouchable, that he is utterly blindsided and left puzzled when his henchmen disobey him or his enemies gain the upper hand.
  • The Zalgo Zodiac: The Zalgo Zodiac, also known as the Zalgo Wheel, is a symbol associated with Zalgo and the symbols surrounding him. It is later revealed that this wheel is a prophecy that can be used to defeat him. The zodiac is activated when the chosen many hold hands while standing in their respective symbols, from which they will gain unimaginable powers strong enough to defeat Zalgo. In their enhanced states, the chosen many are gifted with a power that constantly adapts to Zalgo's attacks to ensure that it always defeats him. Not even Infinite Zalgo, Zalgo's ultimate form, stood a chance at defeating the Zalgo Zodiac's powers, and was completely helpless the entire fight against the New Elite.

  • Name: Zalgo
  • Origin: Pastamonsters
  • Gender: Genderless.
  • Age: Over a trillion eons old.
  • Tier: 2-C | High 2-A
  • Attack Potency: Universe Level+, likely far higher (destroyed at least two universes "as a baby". The Pastamonsters novel, which is entirely canon, further backed up the Unwanted House Guest's claim that Zalgo is a threat to the multiverse. A multiverse that has been stated to be infinite numerous times.) | Multiverse level+ (in this state, he became one with the multiverse and overid its law and order. Additionally, he was even shown to have merged all universes together, universes that are said to be infinite.)
  • Speed: Massively FTL (capable of interstellar travel), likely Omnipresent within the Pit | Omnipresent (became one with spacetime)
  • Lifting Strength: Class E, likely higher | Unknown
  • Striking Speed: Universal | Unknown
  • Durability: Universe Level+ (survived multiple attacks from Slenderman) | Unknown (he was never shown to be hurt by anything)
  • Stamina: Incredibly high, if not limitless
  • Intelligence: 'Extraordinary Genius level (Is said to know "lots of things", such as the truth of many well-known conspiracies as well as future events, like the destruction of the Ender-bot and knew that Shadowlurker would discover his past. Zalgo is also able to look through the eye of anything that is made in his image, allowing him to know what occurs even when he isn't around as shown with the Children of Zalgo's statue and the painting of Zalgo in the Unwanted House Guest's home. He is aware and can view infinite versions of himself in infinite timelines and knows of the past and future.)

Key: Base Form | After absorbing Slenderman and the Multiverse Crystals

Zalgo (Pastamonsters)'s statistics

Power/Magic
11/10
Combat
7/10
Intelligence
11/10
Leadership
7/10
Sadism and Cruelty
12/10

Relationships

Family

  • The Great Lord † - Creator
  • Unnamed Father † - Father and Victim
  • Unnamed Mother † - Mother and Victim
  • Sexual Offenderman - Disowned half-brother and Enemy
  • Death - Possible brother
  • Akira † - Wife turned Victim
  • Hundreds, if not thousands of other wives - Wives
  • Countless unnamed children † - Children and Victims
  • Slenderman - Disowned son turned Attempted Murderer and former Victim
  • Splendorman - Son and Attempted Victim
  • Slenderwoman - Former daughter-in-law
  • Trenderman - Nephew
  • Slenderson - Grandson
  • Several other grandchildren

Allies

  • Minions of Zalgo - Subordinates and Followers
    • X † - Left-Hand Man and occasional Enemy
    • Joseph Korso † - Henchman and Victim
    • Flagg † - Henchman and Victim
    • Stukka † - Henchman and Victim
  • The Jabberwockey † - Temporary Henchman
  • Hræsvelgr - Guardian and "Pet"
  • The Nega Proxies - Creations and henchmen
    • Nega Jeff the Killer
    • Nega Ms. Pencil Neck †
    • Nega BEN DROWNED †
    • Nega Smile Dog
    • Nega Eyeless Jack †
    • Nega Masky †
    • Nega Hoodie †
    • Nega Samantha Sampson †
    • Nega Sally Williams †
    • Nega Alyss Christer†
    • Nega Ticci Toby †
    • Nega Laughing Jack †
    • Nega Clockwork †

Enemies

  • The Gods of the Multiverse
    • Aton - Archenemy
    • Odin
    • Ra
    • Malcolm
  • Aton's Forces
    • Mr. Widemouth - Former Ally turned Enemy and Attempted Victim
    • Aton's Army
      • Aton's Elite
        • Hera
        • Speedy
        • Toog
        • Jil'Nor
        • Cronus
  • The Shadowlurker - Royal Adviser turned Enemy
  • Herobrine † - Enemy
  • Mancala † - Former Ally turned Attempted Victim
  • Flame-Head † - Former Ally turned Victim
  • Unwanted House Guest † - Archenemy and Victim
  • Serepentians
    • Ash Graven - Archenemy, Attempted Victim, and Killer
    • Harp Graven † - Victim
    • King of Serepentis †
    • Queen of Serepentis †
  • Arcosians
    • Princess Atta - Enemy and Attempted Victim
    • Prince Astor - Enemy and Victim
    • The Arcosian Army †
  • The Proxies
    • Jeff the Killer † - Enemy, Attempted Victim and Killer
    • BEN - Enemy, Attempted Victim and Killer
    • Ms. Pencil Neck - Enemy, Attempted Victim, and Killer
    • Smile Dog - Enemy, Attempted Victim and Killer
    • Eyeless Jack - Enemy, Attempted Victim and Killer
    • Masky - Enemy, Brief Body Hose, and Killer
    • Hoodie - Enemy, Attempted Victim and Killer
    • Sally Williams - Enemy, Attempted Victim and Killer
    • Ticci Toby - Enemy, Attempted Victim and Killer
    • Laughing Jack † - Enemy, Attempted Victim and Killer
    • Natalie Clockwork - Enemy, Attempted Victim and Killer
      • The New Elite
        • President Bush - Enemy, Attempted Victim and Killer
        • Rick Bernstein - Enemy, Attempted Victim and Killer
        • Mayor Bigmouth - Enemy, Attempted Victim and Killer
        • Ducky - Enemy, Attempted Victim and Killer
        • Skeet - Enemy, Attempted Victim and Killer
        • Mr. Mandavi - Enemy, Attempted Victim and Killer
  • Enderman's gang
  • The Resistance
    • Nick the Endoskeleton †
    • Scorpion
    • Sub-Zero
    • Officer Gutierrez
    • The United States Military
    • Wonderland Inhabitants
      • Alice Liddell
      • THe Bandersnatch
      • The Playing Cards
    • Creatures of the Magic Forest

Facilities

Pg 82 by xcomickittyx-d5b6wnq (2)

Zalgo's castle in the Pit.

  • The Pit: The Pit is a hellish dimension where Zalgo and his followers reside. Being the domain of Zalgo, many who are captured by Zalgo's army are tortured here until they learn to respect and worship Zalgo, or are simply sentenced to slavery in one of the Pit's labor camps or mines. Millions, perhaps billions of demons call the Pit home. The Pit contains thousands of buildings made from rocks, marketplaces, temples, and castles. Everyone within the Pit is required to pay tribute to Zalgo, at the threat of torture and brainwashing. Countless statues and other tributes to Zalgo litter the Pit, and his minions can be found anywhere. Dominating the dimension's skyline is the spaceport where interstellar trade and tribute pour in through, as well as intergalactic criminals seeking refuge from the Time Police. While Zalgo's side of the Pit is incredibly rich because of its center of commerce, Zalgo's endless greed has left most of the Pit impoverished. Water cannot exist in the Pit, as the extreme temperatures instantly evaporate any water, which means no food can be made. Most of the Pit is largely neglected as Zalgo and his administrators simply do not care about its foundation. These areas are crime-ridden, trash laden and increasingly abandoned. The Pit's air is unbreathable to most species due to how much ash and sulfur is in the air. The citizens of the Pit are generally very quiet, as Zalgo's minions lurk everywhere and any insult against him is met with extreme force or cruel and unusual punishment. There is no law in the Pit, as illegal activities are regular and encouraged. The only law is to avoid disrespecting Zalgo in any way. When Zalgo absorbed the Multiverse Crystals, he merged all universes together and then allowed the Pit to invade the merged universe. However, the Pit was erased from existence from a wave of magic that spawned when Zalgo was defeated.
    • Zalgo's castle: Zalgo's castle is a massive, misshapen fortress that acted as Zalgo's domain and home. The interior is that of a massive castle that has fallen into disrepair, likely from Zalgo's lack of care. There are stairs seemingly leading to nowhere, and a large, red stained-glass window which resembles an eye with a slit pupil(the last of which cannot be seen from the exterior). Zalgo's throneroom is a massive hall with walls of fire that lead to Zalgo's throne, which sits on the side of a cliff. In the cliff is fire and lava, which is where Zalgo lies and waits for any visitors or reports from his men. Most of Zalgo's lair is seemingly made up of a series of twisting hallways and corridors, and one massive room where Zalgo stores all the riches he plunders from other planets. There is also a room that contains nothing but a massive statue of Zalgo, which acts as worshipping device for the Cult of Zalgo, who regularly visit the castle for sacrifices and other tributes. Inside the floating tip at the top of the castle is a penthouse suite. It has furniture with upholstery made of human skin, a fireplace with a portrait of Zalgo wearing a crown hanging over the mantle, a demonic grandfather clock, a grand piano, a hot-tub that appears to be filled with blood, and a large eye-shaped window. Zalgo's castle was destroyed when Zalgo unleashed a hail of lasers upon the castle in a last-ditch effort to kill Proxies and their allies. The attempt failed, although the Proxies and their allies were injured and greatly demoralized.

Quotes

Flashbacks

Mercy is for the weak!
~ Zalgo's motto


For eons I have terrorized this land. Every miserable creature trembled at the mere mention of my name. The pitiful mortals fright before my astounding power. But now, I am openly mocked by these measly urchins. Tales of Aton's heroics have spread through the multiverse like a virus, but I will cure the multiverse of this plague of hope. I will unleash such evil that even the most innocent soul will be consumed by terror!
~ Zalgo's speech to his army.


As far as the eye can see, the land is desolate and full of despair. Shadows crawl across the Pit and block out the light. Darkness oozes from every crevice. Hope has been eradicated. Only terror reigns. Yet, there is one that mocks my omnipresent evil with his existence. He possesses the power which could destroy me. They call him... Aton!
~ Zalgo to a young Slenderman.


Children, to me.
~ Zalgo summoning the Children of Zalgo.


Mortals are nothing more than a disease and an unfortunate coincidence. Together, we will wipe this filth off the face of the multiverse and remind all who is the master of this multiverse. NOW BEGONE!
~ Zalgo to the Cult of Zalgo.


Such fragile creatures you are.
~ Zalgo slaughtering and taunting villagers.


I call it my Magnum Opus. It is my purpose... and now it is yours as well. It's a truly beautiful thing. Over thousands of years... I traveled across the cosmos, studying the mortals and their way of life. It was... disappointing. My travels only confirmed my belief that mortals are just animals wandering aimlessly through a worthless jungle land called the universe. I decided to unleash my followers upon them to show them a good time. I needed to fulfill life's one true purpose... To grow and spread... covering all that exists... until everything is... Me! I only had one problem: Aton. One single divine being cannot stop Aton. But two divine beings... Well, now, that just might do. Out of all my labors... the most beguiling was... attempting to graft my divine genes with that of another species. I hoped the result of such a coupling would be enough... to help me conquer the multiverse. I had your uncle deliver some of them to me. It broke his moral code, but I compensated him generously... and to ease his conscience, I said I'd never hurt them. But, one after the other, they failed me. Not one of them carried the godly genes. Until you, Slenderman. Out of all my spawns... only you carried the connection to the light. For the first time in my existence... I am truly not alone!!!!
~ Zalgo revealing his plans to Slenderman.


Zalgo: What is it, son?
Slenderman: My brother...
Zalgo: No, no no.. That's called compassion, Slenderman. We are beyond such a ridiculous concept.
Slenderman: Yes.
Zalgo: Good. Now..
Slenderman: But my mother.
Zalgo: Yeah?
Slenderman: You said.. You loved my mother.
Zalgo: Ah, Akira. I returned to the mortal realm to see her three times. And I knew if I stayed with her too long.. she'd only distract me. The Magnum Opus, the reason for my very existence would be over, so I did what I had to do. And... I made the decision sent her to the mines.
Slenderman: ...What?
Zalgo: (chuckles) Now I- I know that sounds bad, but.. (Slenderman blasts Zalgo repeatedly with magic bolts, putting multiple holes in his body that begin to slowly regenerate) Who... in the HELL do you think you are?!
Slenderman: YOU KILLED MY MOTHER, SENT MY BROTHER AWAY!! YOU'VE TAKEN EVERYTHING FROM ME!!!
Zalgo: I tried so hard to find the form... (shape-shifts into Akira) that best suited you! And this is the thanks I get?! (morphs back to normal) You really need to grow up!!
~ Zalgo reveals that he killed Slenderman's mother.


Your screams remind me of the sound of your mother's bones breaking.
~ Zalgo taunting Slenderman.


Zalgo: You might have beaten me now...But I will destroy you in the future
Slenderman: There is no future for you, Zalgo.
Zalgo: I disagree. (shoots a portal towards Slenderman)
Slenderman: What trickery is this? ZALG- (the portal sends Slenderman to the Under Realm)
Zalgo: Do not worry, Slenderman. We'll meet again. But next time you will not be so fortunate.
~ Zalgo sends Slenderman to the Under Realm.


He is stronger than I remember. But no matter. For you see, Slenderman, the world is mine! My eyes and ears are everywhere, nothing you do will go unseen! Quest as you may, gather as many so-called "Proxies" as you want, but we will meet again when I see fit, in the time and place of my choosing! I'll wait centuries if I have to! You'll slip up eventually and when you do it is I who shall put an end to the war started in that age long past, Slenderman! Ha, ha, ha, ha!
~ Zalgo in the Pit, swearing vengeance after being defeated by Slenderman.

Season 2

I'ḿ̱̪̦̫̩̫͕͉̝͓̀́ ̕͠͏͓̬̝̫̟͘s̢̱͙̤̱̘̮̼͟t̵̨̼̮̠͕͚̬̳͈̯̭̠̼̯̩̀̕i̶̺̬͈̦̹̰͓͚͎͖̜̯͉̠͟l̡̢͏̹̝̺͇̹̲̫̦͙͙͜l̸̛̺̘̞͙̠͟͠ ̶̡̙̳͚̜͚̲̼̥͝h̵̪̪̗̜̠̪͘͜ͅͅe̴̶̳͈̙̞͖̠̮̟̼̞̳͖̼̕̕͜ͅͅŗ҉̳̦̬̗̜͈̣͇̤̦̮͈̭͎͞e̸̡͏͎̙͔͕̮͍̱̞̰͖̬̹͖̠̩̥
~ Zalgo's secret message in the comic's intro.


Zalgo: Oh, oh, Under Realm, it is good to be back! Name's Lord Zalgo and I take it you're some kind of living Lincoln Log? (laughs) Just kidding, I don't know who you are, Enderman.
Enderman: W-what are you? H-how do you know my name?
Zalgo: Oh, I know lots of things! (*voice changes*) Lots of things.
~ Zalgo's first lines in the entire series.


Enderman: Listen to me, demon! I have a job for you. I need you to enter the mind of Slenderman and steal the code to his safe.
Zalgo: Haha! Wait... Slenderman... (his eyes flash to show pictures of Slenderman and his tattoo) You know what, Blockhead? You've convinced me. I'm sold! I'll help you with this and in return you can help me with something I've been working on! We'll work out the details later!
Enderman: Deal!
Zalgo: (his hand lights on red fire and he shakes hands with Enderman) Well, time to invade Slenderman's mind! This should be fun!
~ Enderman and Zalgo make a deal.


Ah, Slenderman's Proxies, or some of them at least. We meet at last! Long Neck, Teddy Bear, some kinda Joker Reject, and Zelda, I had a hunch I might bump into you!
~ Zalgo meets Ms. P, Sally, Jeff, and BEN for the first time.


I refuse to be bested by children! I'm the master of the mind. I even know what you're thinking right now!
~ Zalgo to Sally.


Hahahahaha!! You kids are adorable! Now turn around and I might let you live.
~ Zalgo taunting the Proxies.


OH, the look—HAHAHAH—on your FACE! Ahaha! "BEN, noo!" Ahahahah!! You thought— your.. friend... Died!!! Ahahahahahahahaha!!! Boy, you kids sure are gullible! (Laughs) It's funny how dumb you are.
~ Zalgo mocking Ms. P and Sally's reaction to BEN's "death".


The combination to Slendy's safe. Boy, that was even easier then I thought! See ya, suckers!
~ Zalgo to the Proxies.


YOU! You can't even imagine what you just cost me! Do you have any idea what I'm like (voices changes to a low, demonic tone) WHEN I'M MAD??!!
~ Zalgo's villainous breakdown.


EAT NIGHTMARES!!
~ Zalgo to the Proxies.


GO TO SLEEP. ...Hahaha!! Get it? That's your stupid one-liner. Hoo boy, I crack myself up. But now I gotta kill ya, so it was nice knowing you. Oh wait, it WASN'T!!!
~ Zalgo to Jeff.


Zalgo: I'm been impressed with you guys. You're more clever than you look. Especially the ugly one.
Jeff: (to Ms. P) He's talking about you.
Zalgo: So I'm gonna let you kids off the hook. You might come in handy later. BUT KNOW THIS: A darkness approaches. A day will come in the future where everything you care about will change...until then I'll be watching you! I'll be watching you...
~ Zalgo's warning to Jeff, Ms. P, BEN and Sally.


Zalgo: What pitiable persons have you brought before my all-enshrouding greatness?
Shadowlurker: Trespassers who invaded the Human World without proper clearance and tariffs, my lord.
Zalgo: Hmmm. Well, what have you to say for yourselves?
Princess Atta: Great lord Zalgo, I am Att, Princess of Arcosia. My brother Prince Astor, and our assistant Chitron 6. Salutations, o Wise and Powerful One! I must say, it's an honor. We humbly beg your forgiveness for our trespass. We meant no offense and certainly no conspiracy. We are on an urgent mission, for our homeworld, Arcosia is under attack from those vile Squoomians. They have attacked our lands and laid siege on our capital! As the palace burned, our parents sent us into space with orders to recall our star navy and bring them home to repel this heinous attack. But our ship was damaged and forced us to land. Again, we appeal to you, most wise and powerful one. Lord Squoomian is murdering our friends, children... We ask only time enough to repair our ship, so that we may depart and trouble you no more, (bows respectfully) o gracious Zalgo
Zalgo: Tsk. Tsk. Such a sad story! Whatever can I do to put an end to this tragic tale... Oh, I know! Shadowlurker, have their ship confiscated! X, throw them in irons and take them down into the mines where they can live miserably ever after! (X chains the twins)
Chitron: You can't do that! These are royal heirs to the throne of Arcosia! You can't just- (Zalgo crushes the robot with his finger)
Princess Atta: Chitron! You can't do this, you monster!
Zalgo: Oh, I certainly can! I am Zalgo! This world is Zalgo, and everything in it is ZALGO! Shadowlurker, shoo these moths away.
Prince Astor: You beast! Devil! VILLAIN!
Zalgo: HAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!
~ Zalgo unlawfully imprisons the Arcosian siblings.


Zalgo: Shadowlurker, we had a deal. You promised to destroy the Green Surge, and you failed...again.
Shadowlurker: No, Master! Please forgive me!
Zalgo: Hmmm.... No. (drops Shadowlurker in the Pit of Despair)
~ Zalgo "kills" the Shadowlurker.

Season 3

Name's Zalgo! And your name's Jeffery Woods, the man who killed his family. Rumor is.. I heard you finally befriended Eyeless Jack! Nice work. No, really! I applaud you! Too bad you couldn't keep him alive. But I'm getting ahead of ourselves; let's relax! Care for a game of interdimensional chess? Have a cup of tea.
~ Zalgo pretending to be nice to Jeff.


Zalgo: Look, Joker, I know we've had our problems in the past, but I need your help! It seems an ancient artifact that may or may not be able to destroy me is out there and I need your generous assistance getting it.
Jeff: Yeah? Well, why should I give a fuck? All you've done is tried to kill me and my friends.
Zalgo: (laughs) I hear you! Now, what's in it for you? Well, as soon as I dispose of that little orb, I'll give you... your family back?
Jeff: Bullshit!
Zalgo: No, seriously! I have their souls in the Pit! Help me destroy that crystal and you can get all the family time your little dark heart desires. Now.. do we have ourselves a deal?
~ Zalgo making a deal with Jeff.


Jeff: What have you done?
Zalgo: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Yes, Jeffery. You have been betrayed. That wasn't the crystal you destroyed, it was your family's souls! I destroyed that silly thing eons ago!
Jeff: We made a deal, you cocksucker!
Zalgo: Actually, if you remember correctly, our deal was at best implied, and even then (points to himself) bad guy! ...You see Jeffrey, you may think this is cruelty, but this is actually a lesson; No matter how hard you try, you will always be alone! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! FOOOOL!
Jeff: Fight me, coward!
Zalgo: Soon enough, Jeffery, but not until I find a way to defeat you and Slenderman. Now, what was I saying? Oh, yes! You will always be alone.. but I will never be alone as long as I have you. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
~ Zalgo deceives Jeff.


Foolish, unknowing, innocent little Proxies. Little do you know that the path l have chosen for you will lead you to your doom! HAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!
~ Zalgo tricking the Proxies.


(on the phone) AHAHAHAHAA!!! Yes, I can hold. (Sits complacently) Yes. I would like to place an order for delivery. (person on the other end speaks) Zalgo. I think I'm in the computer...YES! That's it. I'd like a large— WHAT?! Huh? EXTRA THICC!!! Thirty minutes or it's free? EXCELLENT!!! HAAAAHAHAHAHAAA!!!
~ Zalgo ordering a shipment of henchmen.


It's funny really, how pathetically easy it was to manipulate him... Poor little Eyeless Jack, bullied by his friends. Just wanting to help out, desperate for help and attention. So sad, so hopeless, just needing a friend. Wanting to run with the big dogs. He was so easy to manipulate, Jacky! And once we were "friends", it was all so clear. Using him as a pawn was so wonderfully obvious! You may have not known it, but this whole time I was always there. Watching him be rejected and abused by Jeff, mocked by all the girls, and made fun of by none other than you, Toby! I sat patiently and waited until he finally achieved some sort of happiness, and just waited for the right moment to swoop in and take it all. It was like lining up dominoes. It all fell together so perfectly. While he was working under Enderman, I was in my throneroom, planning. ...You know, I really should thank you and the other Proxies, Toby. All of this could have been avoided if you would've just let him in on your childish games. Any regrets, Tobester? Looking forward to the wasteland that your life is about to become? After Eyeless Jack destroys this universe and has his fun with all of you, I'll give him a proper sendoff: by betraying him and trapping his tormented soul in the Pit for all eternity. HAA-HAHAHAHA-HAAA!!!
~ Zalgo revealing himself as the true villain in "To Proxy Mountain".


You can no longer deny it, Eyeless Jack is now nothing more than a toy at my disposal. As of now, you, your friends and him, belong to ME.
~ Zalgo taunting Ticci Toby.


By the end of today I will have you and your friends screaming for mercy, I guarantee that.
~ Zalgo to Eyeless Jack and Jeff.


Come now. I can't have you giving up after such a glancing blow. No, I'm afraid your torment is only just beginning. There are so many horrors I have yet to show you.
~ Zalgo during his fight with Jeff.


Before you die, Jeffery, tell me. How did it feel killing him? You can convince yourself it was an accident, but we all know the truth.
~ Zalgo taunting Jeff about Eyeless Jack's death.


Zalgo: Well, would you look at that. It looks like I was wrong, for once. Looks like your friends really do care about you, Jack. And you care about them...(*Voice turns deep*) D͍̙̤̜O̴̯͍͙͜N̦̱̖̥̹̤͕͜͞'̨͕̣̥̝̮̙͙̲͎͢T͍̩̞͢ ̠͚̭̮͍̬͚͘Y͎̪͓͕̤O҉̙̻͔U̼͎̲̣͢?!
Eyeless Jack: What are you.. No! NO!
Zalgo: Perhaps killing your friends will make you think twice about this betrayal.
~ Zalgo to Eyeless Jack before torturing Jeff.


Do your worst, inferior one!
~ Zalgo before his defeat in To Proxy Mountain.

Season 4

I think I know a guy!
~ Zalgo returns in front of Masky.


Well, well, well! You're awfully persistent, Masky! Hats off to you!
~ Zalgo to Masky.


Did you miss me? Admit it, you missed me!
~ Zalgo to Masky.


Hahaha... The point is, I like you. How's about you let me give you a hint, huh? I only ask for a small - (Voice gets low and hand and eye light on fire) FAVOR (Normal:) - in return.
~ Zalgo to Masky.


Right, you "defeated me", sure. Well if you ever change your mind (pretends to grab Masky's brain) I'll be here for you, ready to make a deeaaall. Hey, wanna hear my impression of you in about three seconds? AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!
~ Zalgo to Masky.


Masky: Uh, what crazy thing do you want anyway? To eat my soul? To rip out my teeth? Are you gonna replace my eyes with baby heads or something?
Zalgo: Yeesh, relax. All I want is a puppet!
Masky: A puppet? What are you playing at?
Zalgo Everyone loves puppets. And it looks to me that you've got a surplus.
~ Zalgo making a deal with Masky.


Seems to me one little puppet is a small price to pay to learn all the secrets of the universe. Besides, what have your friends done for you, lately? How many times have you sacrificed for them, huh? And when have they ever returned the favor? Tick tock, mortal.
~ Zalgo manipulating Masky


Masky: So which puppet are you going to pick?
Zalgo:Hmm, let's see... eenie... meanie.. miney... YOU.
~ Zalgo preparing to possess Masky.


Sorry, Masky, but you're my puppet now!
~ Zalgo to Masky.


You humans never fail to slink back down a couple rungs on that evolutionary ladder. All your advances in medicine, science, exploring space, all your good will - just when you think you've got it all together - you revert and devolve into the animals that you are.
~ Zalgo after tricking Masky.


Zalgo: Man, it has been so long since I've inhabited a body. (slaps himself in the face) Woo! (slaps the other cheek) Woo! How the hell did all this skin get on my arm? (rips the skin on his left arm off, revealing bone and muscle)
Masky: HOLY SHIT!!! (covers his eyes) Put it back, put it back!
Zalgo: Haha! Pain is hilarious!! And a beating heart? Lungs? A NOSE?! This thing's deluxe!
~ Zalgo after taking Masky's body.


Masky, you've been getting way too close to figuring out some major answers. I've got big plans comin' and I don't need you or your friends gettin' in my way. Destroying that laptop was a cinch. Now, I just need to destroy those notes. Race ya to the bottom of the stairs! (tips backward and tumbles down the stairs)
~ Zalgo to Masky's soul after taking his body.


Oooh, is this bleach? This is what the cool kids drink! I'm gonna drink it like a human! (He pours it into his face and eyes, laughing.) Where do you keep those damn notes anyway? (Opens a drawer and reaches in, slamming the drawer on his arm repeatedly) It's gotta be around here somewhere. (Continues slamming drawer, occasionally wincing) Boy, these arms are durable.
~ Zalgo (possessing Masky) searching for the Unwanted House Guest's notes across Proxy Mansion.


Heh! welcome to the mindscape, kid! Without a vessel to possess, you're basically a ghost!
~ Zalgo to Masky's soul.


Masky: I'm gonna stop you, Zalgo! I'm gonna find those notes before you do and I'm gonna stop you!!
Zalgo: But how can you stop me.... If you don't exist? AHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!
~ Zalgo to Masky.


Sally: M- Masky?
Zalgo: Masky's not here right now! But if you'd like, you can leave a message!
Sally: (gasps) Zalgo Masky? Zalsky!
~ Zalgo reveals he has possessed Masky's body to Sally.


Please, give me those notes, Sally. It's getting dark in here. Why are you hiding? I mean, I'm still technically your friend, right? I promise I won't kill anyone else, okay? NOW GIVE ME THOSE FUCKING NOTES, YOU LITTLE SHIT!! GIVE ME THE DAMN NOTES!
~ Zalgo, still in Masky's possessed body, chasing Sally through the vault.


Bold of you to assume you worms have a chance of beating me. Hey, Jeffrey, wanna hear the exact time and date of your death?
~ Zalgo (in Masky's body) taunting Jeff, Ms. P, and Masky.


Jeff: I say unto the... the power of Aton compels you!
Zalgo: Oh, does it? Does it compel me?
Jeff: The power of Aton compels you!
Zalgo: Does it, Jeff? Is the power of Aton compelling me? Is that what's happening?
Jeff: The power of Aton compels you!
Zalgo: Guess what? It's not that compelling.
~ Jeff trying to exorcise Masky.


Ah! What is this feeling? (Wheezing) My body is burning! I can't move these stupid noodle legs! Curse you, useless flesh sticks! Body...shutting down... infection... spreading... through the body... ... Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa whoa.. hey!
~ Zalgo beginning to feel the effects and weaknesses of being a mortal.


You can't defeat me! Big things are coming! I'm a being of pure energy with no weakness! I'LL BE BACK!!! (begins speaking in reverse) !HGIN SI ESPYLACOPA EHT .OGLAZ DROL FO WODAHS EHT NI REVIUQ LLIW UOY .EREH SI SYAD FO DNE EHT .DOOLB FO REVIR A NI NWORD LLIW UOY
~ Zalgo after being exorcised out of Masky's body by Hoodie.


Zalgo: (to Masky on the phone) Hello? Hello, hello? Oh, hey. This is one call you probably weren’t expecting.
Masky: How?
Zalgo: It’s probably obvious now, but I didn’t die in that exorcism. And when the police raided that vault they also found some rather incriminating evidence on those security cameras...or what was left of them anyway. I thought to give you one last ring. For old time sake, to remind you there is no where you can go where I won’t find you. There’s no place you can hide that I won’t kill you. And I’ll think about it every night until I get out of here and when I do I-
Masky: I’m sorry, Can I put you on hold for a minute? Thanks.
Zalgo: What? No! You can't put me on hold! I AM LORD ZALGO AND YOU WILL NOT PUT ME ON HOLD!! I WILL CHEW YOUR SOUL UP AND SPIT IT OUT YOU PATHETIC LITTLE BU- (Masky tosses the phone in a nearby trash can before casually walking off)


NO PUPPET STRINGS CAN HOLD ME DOWN.
SO PATIENTLY I WATCH THIS REALM.
ABNORMAL SOON WILL BE THE NORM.
ENJOY THE CALM BEFORE THE STORM.
~ A cryptogram from Zalgo's perspective at the end of "Grand Theft Masky", a warning of Zalgo's second coming.


You worthless slime! I'll have you for dinner, you worm! I'll eat every last mortal in this world, I'll devour you all just as I had all the others! HA!! HA!! HA!! HA!! HA!! HA!!
~ Zalgo as he takes control of Slenderman.


HAAAAHAHAHAHAAA!!! FOOOOL! You were so blinded by your quest to find your WORTHLESS family that you couldn't see the truth right in front of your face!
~ Zalgo (in disguise) mocking Alice Liddell for falling for his trap.


Zalgo: Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well! Aren't you a sight for sore eyes! Alice Liddell, my have you grown!
Alice: YOU MONSTER!! (she tries to attack Zalgo but he immobilizes her in a magic beam)
Zalgo: Whoa, don't have a heart attack, you're not 92 yet.
~ Zalgo after seeing Alice Liddell again.


Do you like games? I love games. I always win.
~ Zalgo taunting the Unwanted House Guest.


Zalgo: (arrives on Serepentis by rising from a ring of fire) You called?
King of Serepentis: Almighty Zalgo, we come to you in our hour of need.
Zalgo: So it seems. I haven't been to this miserable rock in centuries. (looks around) What a dump!
King of Serepentis: Our planet is dying. All the oceans are gone, what little food we have is waning. We do not have the resources to sustain our people. And you are our last hope for survival. I only ask that you restore our planet to its former glory, Oh Powerful Zalgo.
Zalgo: See, this is what happens when you allow your people to spread, to fester. You have to roll a little looser and thin them out, my friend.
King Of Serepentis: I could never do such a thing. This planet is full of many good people.
Zalgo: (in a disgusted tone) Mortals. Well, I guess I could clean the mess that your incompetence spawned. But, of course, I do need something in return. Perhaps... (stares at his wife, Ash Graven, and Harp Graven) I could use some new recruits for the army...
Unnamed Serepentian: You monster!
King of Serepentis: Forgive him, my Lord! The boy is young and foolish! He does not know what he says! (Zalgo stares at the Serepentian before blasting him, erasing him. The King falls to his knees in tears)
Zalgo: The boy will return. He will learn proper respect for me in the Pit of Despair. Well, I should go. I have more important matters to attend to than be insulted by lowly mortals. (begins descending down a portal)
King of Serepentis: Wait! I-I wouldn't have called to waste your time with begging.
Zalgo: You already have.
King of Serepentis: No, I mean... if you help us... I will give you our Multiverse Crystal. (Zalgo stops; the Serepentians gasp in shock)
Queen of Serepentis: (approaches the King) Your Majesty, you can't...
King of Serepentis: I have to. For you. (looks at Ash and Harp) And for them.
Zalgo: (looms over the King) A Multiverse Crystal? Well, this is much better than I expected! I may finally get some use out of this miserable rock. I will help you with your plight. But, beforehand, you will pay homage to me by constructing 20 statues in my likeness. You have a week or you're on your own.
King of Serepentis: Our people are sick and weak, my lord! We can-
Zalgo: Do you want your people to survive or not? (the King lowers his head) So... (ignites a flame in his hand) It's a... deal! (the King reluctantly and slowly shakes Zalgo's hand) I knew you would make the right choice. (to the Serepentians) Once I restore this pitiful planet, your tributes will rise taller than the mountains to remind all who is the master of this world. See ya! (flies off in a massive fireball, causing the Serepentians to shield their eyes)
~ Zalgo's deal with the Serepentian.


Zalgo: (rises from the depths in a giant form) Do you have the Crystal, (mockingly) Your Highness? (the King's men bestow a gold box containing the Multiverse Crystal to Zalgo) Hahaha! You came through, Kingy! (levitates to himself) One down, eleven more to go. (sends it to the Pit) Well, it's time to fulfill my end of the deal. (opens the mouth on his abdomin) Come to me.
Ash Gravem: (to her father) Thank you for everything you did to get us here.
King of Serepentis: Don't thank us. Thank Zalgo. It's time for us to join him in the light.
Harp Graven: Mom? Dad?
Queen of Serepentis: Yes, sweetheart?
Harp Graven: Where does that portal lead?
King of Serepentis: A glorious place where we can live as Zalgo restores our planet. (Harp and the other Serepentians slowly make their way to Zalgo, but as they grow closer Ash begins to suspect something is wrong)
Ash Graven: Wait! No! (Zalgo's Inquisitors and Ash's father hold her back)
King of Serepentis: Ash, stop this foolishness! This has to be done!
Ash Graven: Harp! Come back! Let her go! Harp! (Harp and the Serepentians are frozen in fear as Zalgo towers over them) Harp! Run, Harp, run! Get out of there! Harp! (Zalgo lunges at and devours the Serpentians in a blinding flame)
Zalgo: Hahahahaaa!
King of Serepentis: We've given you the Crystal, now restore our planet!
Zalgo: Hmmmm.... No.
King of Serepentis: What do you mean "no"?!
Zalgo: Hold on, you actually thought I was going to help you? Mortal fool You may be their king, but you're just an insignificant bug compared to me. I wouldn't lift a finger to help you or your worthless rock.
Ash Graven: Where did you take them?! What did you do to my sister?!
Zalgo: You see, Princess, there is a war coming. Dark times are upon us. Things your tiny mortal mind could never comprehend. I needed your people's energy to power to fuel my own. Think of them not as people, but as a... living battery.
Ash Graven: No...
Zalgo: Yes, Serepentians, I knew you would give it to me. (with his hands together, imitating the king) "Oh, Great Lord Zalgo, my wittle planet is dying. Oh, Lord Zalgo, please save my poor people from the mean old Extinction." Pffft! HAHAHA HAHAHA!! FOOOOLS!
~ Zalgo deceives the Serepentians.


Calm yourself, Princess! Too much stress will give you a heart attack. Oh! What am I saying? Please continue. Never mind what I said.
~ Zalgo to Ash Graven after sending her sister into the Pit of Despair.


Ash Graven: (after accidentally killing her parents) They... I- I didn't mean...
Zalgo: Aw. What a shame. Hahaha!
Ash Graven: I- I didn't mean to... I... (breaks down crying)
Zalgo: (fakes a yawn) You done yet, kid? Look, if you want my advice, don't let your temper get the better of you! Maybe next time you won't kill your family.
~ Zalgo to Ash Graven.


Ash Graven: (levitating in a deep voice) ZALGO!! Show yourself! But you won't! Because all you are is fear, and hatred, and weakness!
Zalgo: (after a very long pause, Zalgo ascends from the depths of the Pit) I already told you guys to stop bothering me- Wait.. You're not the cult! Wait a second... The Proxies? The Unwanted House Guest?! (stares at Ash) And who might you be
Ash Graven: You took my sister! Give her back or I will flay you!!
Zalgo: I took your sister? I've taken a lot of people. You're going to have to be more specific.
Ash Graven: Princess Harp of Serepentis! She was good, she was kind, and you took her!
Zalgo: Hmm.. Oh! Silly me! I remember you now! You're Ash Graven of Serpentis! I thought I recognized that energy! (laughs) What have you been up to? Kill any family members lately?
Ash Graven: GIVE HER BACK!
Zalgo: Why? She has served me so well. Besides, why would I give her back... When I can have you both?
~ Zalgo and Ash confront each other.


Wow, Ash. Wow. The Proxies, Slenderman, they always had to die, but not you. You could have just walked away and never showed yourself to me again. But now you're making me do this. Such a shame.
~ Zalgo while using illusions against Ash Graven.


Illusion Harp: Ash? What's happening?
Ash Graven: Harp? Is that really- (reaches out by stops) No! No! No! I know it's not real, Zalgo!
Zalgo: (teleports behind Harp and grabs her by the neck and hangs her over a pit of flames) Do you really know? I guess you wouldn't mind it if I... (drops her into the flames as she screams in terror)
Ash Graven: (Ash tries to ignore it but jumps down to save Harp anyway) I'm coming, Harp! (just as Ash grabs her she hits a hard surface)
Zalgo: Hehehahahahaaa!!! Even when you know it's not real, you can't help but fall for my tricks. That's what I like about you, Ash. You're much more gullible than Slendy.
~ Ash being tormented by Zalgo's illusions.


I don't think you know what's real, Ash. You need to wake up! I mean, look at yourself... You're just a scared little girl with powers she doesn't even understand!
~ Zalgo to Ash.


If you were good enough... Maybe Harp would still be alive. Deep down, you know I'm right.
~ Zalgo torments Ash Graven over the death of her sister Harp Graven.


You're as smart as a whip, but you're a sucker. And now you and your friends have to die. It's easy to fool people if they are already fooling themselves. But for what it's worth, Princess, it was nice to see you again.
~ Zalgo before unleashing all of his minions on Ash and the Proxies.


Zalgo: Hoho! Looks like Mr. Brainiac finally got smart! Let's just say that when that portal finishes charging up, your dimension is gonna learn how to party! (looks at his minions through the portal) Right, guys?
The Unwanted House Guest: I trusted you as a friend, Zalgo! I shared my hopes and dreams with you! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS?!
Zalgo: Meh, one thing you gotta know about me, I'm no friend of anyone. Especially not a worthless freak like you.
The Unwanted House Guest: No.. I'll stop you. I'm shutting the portal down!!
Zalgo: A deal's a deal, pleb! You can't stop a bridge between our worlds from coming, but it'll be fun to kick back and watch you try! Cute even!
~ Zalgo betrays the Unwanted House Guest.


Zalgo: UNACCEPTABLE!! (punches Shadowlurker across the room) You let Jeff and my bounty slip through my fingers in one fell swoop. It's unthinkable that you let Jeff escape with the Multiverse Crystals AND destroy half my castle in the blink of an eye! Worthless, careless fool!
Shadowlurker: Master...
Zalgo: (grabs Shadowlurker by the collar as his eyes glow bright red) If the Multiverse Crystals are not in front of me within a weeks time, the only thing that will calm my wrath will be your blood splattered over my walls. Understood?
Shadowlurker: (fearfully) ...Understood.
~ Zalgo takes his rage out on Shadowlurker.


I guess I can't possess any of the Proxies, so I'll just have to find my next pawn on the OUTSIDE. (Eyes flashes between several characters)
~ Zalgo after the Proxies put an anti-demon shield around Proxy Mansion.


You seriously thought you could run off with the Proxies and escape me? Oh, silly little girl. As long as you are alive, I will always control you.
~ A nightmare version of Zalgo attacks Ash in the Nightmare Realm.


Slenderman: Lord Zalgo. What do you want from me?
Zalgo: Oh, quit playing dumb and just call me dad, Slendy! The Proxies already found that one out! (Slenderman tries to talk but Zalgo interrupts) Don't ask me how, let's just say I've been doing a little spying. You knew I'd be back! You think the Unwanted House Guest shutting down that portal could stop what I have planned? (floats over Slenderman) I've been making deals, chatting with old friends, preparing for the big day! You can't keep the Under Realm or your precious Proxies safe forever. (snaps his fingers and a copy of the Multiverse Crystals appear in his hand) You'll slip up, and when you do...! (crushes and absorbs the fake crystals, where it creates a massive portal in the shape of an upside-down triangle, burning the wheat field around Slenderman)
Slenderman: Enough! Get out of here, demon! You have no power in our world!
Zalgo: Maybe not right now, but things change, Slendy! Things....change.
~ Zalgo and Slenderman.


You are one of my most powerful minions. You possess the ability to steal the essence of the mightiest of warriors or the deadliest of beasts. You have never failed me.
~ Zalgo brainwashing the Shadowlurker.


Thanks, Jeffery! I couldn't have done it without you!
~ Zalgo mockingly thanking Jeff for helping him steal the Multiverse Portal.


See? That wasn't so hard. (laughs as his minions cheer and celebrate) Somebody get this stupid costume off me!
~ Zalgo to his minions after tricking Jeff into giving him the Multiverse Crystals using the Unwanted House Guest's skin.


Zalgo: And I care because...?
Enderman: B- Because, the Proxies, you've wanted to kill them since forever, they're the bane of your existence?
Zalgo: Oh, that was the Old Zalgo. This is the NEW Zalgo. And he really doesn't care about the pathetic Proxies who wander around like a bunch of mad fools! HAHA! It's hilarious, really. I'll tell you what, you want to destroy them? Maybe even earn a spot as my new minions? Go ahead! Who cares? I certainly don't! Not one bit at all...
~ Zalgo to Enderman's gang.


Zalgo: (Zalgo and X laughs as they capture BEN and Ms. P. Shadowlurker eventually joins in) Shut up! Who said you could laugh? (to Jeff) Face it, Joker. You and your friends belong to me. (Zalgo holds up Jeff's friends in doll form and laughs evilly) And you are going to do whatever I say for the rest of your pathetic lives. You are my slaves, just like Shadowlurker over there.
Jeff: Shadowlurker, you don't need to be anybody's slave. You were Slenderman's best friend. He taught you everything and protected your ass from those bullies. He would never call you a slave!
Zalgo: Don't listen to him, Shadowlurker. That life of yours is over and done with. You serve me now. Now kill him, you sorry excuse for a minion. Get him.
Jeff: Slenderman would've protected you if given the chance. Is this how you're gonna repay us? HE TRUSTED YOU! We gave you a chance to quit this life and you still go back to being Zalgo's little BITCH!
Zalgo: I gave you those incredible powers, expanded your lifespan, and let you live in my palace! Who are you gonna listen to? Him or me? (after a long pause, Shadowlurker knocks Jeff back with a magical attack) HAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! You see? There was no contest.
~ Zalgo preventing Jeff from redeeming the Shadowlurker.


Mancala: The hour is near. It's time for my payment.
Zalgo: Payment? For what? You getting me the Multiverse Crystals? Your wiring must be screwed up because if I remember correctly, you did not get them. I did.
Mancala: We had a deal. I held up my part of the bargain.
Zalgo: Well, you shouldn't have made a deal with the devil! It's common knowledge, Tin Man! (laughs) (Mancala throws a magic blast towards Zalgo, only for Zalgo to turn the blast into a stuffed animal) I granted you these powers, and I can take them away, you bucket of bolts. (blasts Mancala out of his castle) Not much of a threat now, are you?
~ Zalgo betrays Mancala and strips him of his powers.


Zalgo: Now can anyone remind me what I was trying to do?
Shadowlurker: I believe you were stopping the Proxies from getting the House Guest's notebooks, sir.
Zalgo: THAT'S RIGHT! Shadowlurker, get me a glass of blood, prepare for an invasion and send out the invites for my taking-over-the-multiverse VIP party. Oh, and X, you've earned a treat, have the Elite for a snack. The day of chaos is upon us, my minions. Now begone.
~ Zalgo preparing to invade more planets and sending X to kill the New Elite


Shadowlurker: Sir... Have you ever loved someone? Cared for someone? Have you ever felt what it's really like love someone?
Zalgo: Nah.
~ Shadowlurker questions Zalgo.


Slenderman.. Your friends have fought valiantly, but in vain. I now speak directly to you. On this night, you have allowed your friends to die for you rather than face me yourself. There is no greater dishonor. Therefor, I have a proposal. My army is currently planning to invade the planet Arcosia. Simply meet with them in Arcosia and it will be just me and you. Can you hear me? Just you and me. Mano A Mano. However.. If you aren't on that miserable rock in due time, I will have my men massacre every last man, woman, and child on that planet and destroy it myself. Think it over, will you?
~ Zalgo challenging Slenderman to a fight by telepathically speaking through the heads of him and his allies.


Alright, listen up, you one-lifespan, three-dimensional, five-sense skin puppets! For one trillion years I've been trapped in my own decaying dimension, waiting for the time where I could call the multiverse my own, and that time is upon us. The name's Lord Zalgo. But you can call me your new emperor and master for all of eternity! What's with the long faces? Don't blame me! Blame Slenderman for not showing u- (the army fires all their weaponry at Zalgo, but to no avail)...Okay. On seconds thought, slaughtering you pathetic worms is the perfect warm-up before the fun really begins!
~ Zalgo speech after arriving to the Battle of the Pit.


He left YOU in charge of his notes?! Oh, that's precious! You thought you could fill his shoes? Jeff, you sweet, naive fool, where were you? Were you off having fun? Laughin' with your buddies? Yeah, you could've made a difference had you been there for him, but you weren't, were ya? Okay, from here on out, here's how it's gonna work. I'll do my thing, you look the other way. A few Proxies missing here and there. Hey, it's the natural order of things. It'll be our little secret. Oh, and Jeff, if you should think about getting a sudden burst of courage...I'll slaughter every Proxy in sight. Now, you go back, make everyone feel all safe, and I'll see you real soon. That's a date.
~ Zalgo mocking Jeff over the death of the Unwanted House Guest.


Honestly, I don't understand why people get so worked up about a little planet's destruction when there are TRILLIONS of other ones!
~ Zalgo before he prepares to destroy Arcosia.


Zalgo: I want every gun we have to fire on Slenderman! (Slenderman advances towards Zalgo) Why aren't they firing?!
Shadowlurker: Master, our men are in the strike zone. I advise we wait unt-
Zalgo: No, fire. ALL THE GUNS! NOOOOOW!!!
~ Zalgo orders his men to fire at Slenderman at the cost of his henchmen.


Zalgo: Delighted to see you again, my son... Too bad it also might be the last time.
Slenderman: You're going to suffer for what you did to my mother, Zalgo.
Zalgo: Interesting for you to sacrifice yourself for your worthless Proxies. What have they ever done for you?
Slenderman: Unlike you, Zalgo, I have a sense of honor. The Proxies are under my protection.
Zalgo: I won't have my honor questioned by you.
Slenderman: I'm not questioning your honor. I'm denying it's existence.
Zalgo: What a fool to give up your life....For your underlings.
~ Zalgo and Slenderman's exchange before their final fight.


Slendy, you have to bring out your best to defeat me, and your best part is ME!!
~ Zalgo before corrupting Slenderman.


At last! At long, long last! The Multiverse Crystals have been absorbed! The event 1 billion years prophesied has come to pass! The day has come! THE MULTIVERSE IS FINALLY MINE!
~ Zalgo after absorbing the powers of the Multiverse Crystals.


THE PROPHECY SEEMED FAR AWAY
BUT FINALLY WE'VE REACHED THE DAY.
GIVE UP THE PAST.
EMBRACE THE STRANGE. EVERYTHING YOU CARE ABOUT WILL CHANGE.
~ A cryptograph from Zalgo's perspective seen at the end of "Legends of the Multiverse Part 4: The Battle of Arcosia".


Under Realm, Under Realm, how I've missed you! This place has really gone downhill without me, huh? To be fair, it has been a billion centuries since I've rule this place. But, you're in luck! Zalgo's back in town and I'm ready to throw this dump back into the dark ages! Now meet the gang of interdimensional demons and nightmares I call my friends. X! Shadowlurker! The being whose name must never be said! Haha, what the heck. It's Hræsvelgr. Then, of course, there's also the Killer Clowns, Shapeshifters, Ogres, Witches, Killer Dolls and Parademons, and these guys. This is our multiverse now, boys!
~ Zalgo and his minions take over the Under Realm.


It's time we do a little redecorating. I could really use a castle of some kind! (Zalgo rises his castle from the ground) And how about some river pools of blood?!? This party never stops! Time is dead and meaning has no meaning! Existence is upside down and the multiverse is mine to torment! WELCOME, ONE AND ALL, TO THE ETERNAL RULE OF LORD ZALGO!!
~ Zalgo finally achieving his goal of multiversal domination.


Ah, nothing beats the sweet sound of hundreds of voices screaming in pain and terror!
~ Zalgo while carving his name into a planet.


Well, well, well. And here I thought today couldn't get any BETTER!
~ Zalgo discovers Ms. P, Ash, Jeff, and Smile Dog.


Zalgo: Well isn't this...Í̥͚̣̠͡Ǹ̳͚̤̲̲̠̲̪T̵̙͙͉̝̳̞̺̤̀́Ȩ̷̢̱R̶̷̨͎̱͍E̠͉͚͠Ş͏͙̝̲͖͈͚T̨̛͍͓̻Į̢͕̤Ń̝͓̗̕G̢̢̛̟̱̭. (circles Ash) The Parent Killer is back for an encore. You think you can stop me? Go ahead, kid, show me what you've got.
Ash Graven: I um... I-
Zalgo: (imitating her) I- Um- I- Do it, kid. Do some brilliant thing that takes me down right now. Whattdya got, little girl, everyone's waiting. DO IT.
Ash Graven: Uhh... DAMMIT!! (she fires a magical blast at Zalgo, who harmlessly catches the blast with his mouths)
Zalgo: Neat trick. Lemme show you what I can do! (he waves his hand and sends Ash backward into a tree) That's right. Don't be a hero, kid. Remember what happened to the Unwanted House Guest? Slenderman? The Arcosians? Your sister? That's what happens to heroes in my world. (burns Ms. P's spellbook along with Unwanted House Guest's notes)
Ms. P: NO!!! MY SPELL BOOK!!!
Zalgo Yeah, that's right. (faces his henchmen) HENCHMEN!! Whoever kills the witch gets their own universe! Two universes if you kill her boyfriend, three if you kill the dog!
~ Zalgo dealing with Jeff, Ms. P, Ash and Smile Dog.


Shadowlurker, did you know back in ancient times they would cut the tongues out of their bodyguards on their first day on the job? You think that's horrible, don't you? (chuckles) They've taken the animal out of you. You don't like that violent stuff. (takes a drink from his martini) ...But I do. (Zalgo kills a nearby henchman by frying him with heat vision before crushing another henchman's head to death with his hand) ...Well, that's one way to start a party! (Zalgo's minions cheer and continue partying)
~ Zalgo kills his henchman to start a party.


Minions, this new multiverse led by Yours Truly wouldn't be possible without this guy! Give him a demonic round of applause! (the monsters all clap and resume partying) Ok, get outta here. (Zalgo shoos Shadowlurker away) Hahahaha! Go nuts, guys! When we're done partying, I unveil Phase 2.
~ Zalgo during his "King of the Multiverse" ceremony.


Time Police: Open up! This is the Elite. Aton's Elite.
Zalgo: Just play it cool, ditch the time-beer. Let me do the talking.
Cronos: Lord Zalgo.
Zalgo: Aton's elite, seriously? I just got rid of the new one!
Cronos: You are in violation of the rules of space-time, enslaving innocents, massacring entire planets, and worst of all.... Your douchebag demons egged my car! Who the fuck does that?
Time God: Hear this, Zalgo!
Zalgo: Ugh, Time God.
Time God: (projects a hologram of the universe) If your rip in this dimension continues, it could destroy the very fabric of existence! (the universe in the hologram explodes) Surrender now, or face my tantrum!
Zalgo: Oh, no, a tantrum! Whatever will a do about that? HOW 'BOUT THIS?? BOOM! (vaporizes the Time Dog and Aton's Elite; blows the smoke from his finger)
X: Ah, snap! He just killed the Time God! (X and the demons cheer and resumed partying)
~ Zalgo "killing" the Time God and Aton's Elite.


GAME IS OVER, AND I WON.
NOW IT'S TIME TO START THE FUN.
I ALWAYS LOVE CORRUPTING LIVES.
NOW LET'S SEE WHICH PROXY SURVIVES.
~ A cryptograph from Zalgo's perspective at the end of "Legends of the Multiverse Part 5: The Return of Zalgo".


Zalgo: Ladies, gentlemen, that creature with like 87 different faces.
Creature with 88 different faces: 88 different faces!
Zalgo: Whoa-ho, sorry - touchy subject. Anyways, it's been fun turning this multiverse inside out, torching most of it's planets to the ground, rounding up all its terrified inhabitants and then stacking them into this massive throne of frozen mortal agony. Don't worry, they're not conscious anymore. Probably.
Nick's son: Uh, my omelettes. They-they have friendly faces.
Zalgo: Whoops. Hehe, back, back you go there. But this multiverse is just the beginning. It's time to take our chaos omniversal! Alright boys, to Aton's realm we go. Let's set this world aflame with your evil. This omniverse is OURS! Ah, omniversal domination. I could get used to - (the demons hit an invisible shield and fall down) WHAT??!!! Fools! Of course, only I have to power to destroy the shields. (Zalgo extends his arm and puts his hand around the shield, causing it to melt his arm off) AGHHHHH!!!! (a note suddenly appears in front of Zalgo, Zalgo reads it. It reads "Better luck next time, fuckboi - ♥ Aton") DAMN YOU, ATON!!!
X: I think I broke something.
Zalgo: WALK IT OFF!!! This might be more complicated than I thought.
~ Zalgo, ordering his minions to spread their evil across the omniverse by invading Aton's realm, only to discover there is a barrier keeping all of them, including himself away from Aton's home.


Zalgo: Alright, can anyone explain to me why, even with our newfound INFINITE POWER, (kills two of his henchmen with lightning, Zalgo's eyes glow bright red) none of us can escape the borders of this FUCKING WORTHLESS, PLEB MULTIVERSE!!!! (Sits in throne) There's some kind of force field keeping us in, but who would know how to fix it? Hmm, there was that duck that somehow stopped me...
Shadowlurker: My Lord, the black one failed to stop the Proxies. They are in Sally's bubble as we speak.
Zalgo: Ha! Teddy Bear's bubble is the most diabolical trap I've ever created. It would take a will of titanium not to give into its temptation.
Shadowlurker: In more important news, I've discovered that this New Elite are all powered by Aton's magic. One drop of their blood is the driving force we need to crush those shields.
Zalgo: (Zalgo stares in disbelief before slowly forming an evil grin) Alright then. Shadowlurker, meet me in the throne room in a few more hours. Things just got a little more interesting...
~ Zalgo to Shadowlurker.


ENOUGH! This is not a democracy! We are not in the House of Lords! We are a ship at sea! And when it comes to you worthless spirits, I am the captain! SO LISTEN UP, MATEYS! There are six criteria that the Time Police used to determine if a being should be considered supreme. I fit ALL OF THE CRITERIA! However, the one thing that I do not yet possess is complete control over all lifeforms. I've dreamed of overthrowing Aton and taking over his realm and on that day, I will earn my rightful distinction as master of existence. They won't be able to defeat me even if they wanted to. They would only dream of overthrowing me, and, in my world, dreams are made to be destroyed.
~ Zalgo to his minions after they asked him if ruling Aton's realm was worth it.


'We'll meet again. Don't know where. Don't know when. Oh, I know we'll meet again, some sunny day.
~ Zalgo singing at Shadowlurker's appreciation party.


Shadowlurker: What is this, my lord?
Zalgo: You're in the penthouse suite, kid! The tip of the castle. You deserve some recognition for all your hard work these years. Have a drink! Make yourself comfortable. (drinks wine with his abdomen mouth) Y'know that couch is made of living human skin?
~ Zalgo to Shadowlurker.


Ah, sharp as ever, my thin-skinned adviser. As you may have noticed...I've recently had a (Voice echoing:) multiversal makeover. I control space, matter, and now that that dumb clock's out of the way, time itself! But I wasn't always this way. You think those chains are tight? Imagine torturing the same souls every day. Sure, it never really stops being funny, eventually, you just get tired of torturing the same damn people every single day. So one day I came to a realization; Why torment the mortals in my Dimension, when I could torment the whole Omniverse? Here's just one hitch. As it turns out, my evil can't enter the confines of Aton's realm. There's something keeping me out.
~ Zalgo revealing his motivations for universal conquering.


Listen, Shadowlurker, once I absorb that dumb god's power, finally the Pit will take over. Anything will be possible. I'll remake a fun world-- a better world- for us, of course. For the mortals it will for 24/7 suffering, torture, murder and death. But for you and all the other demons, it'll be a party that never ends with a host that never dies! No more restrictions! No more laws! You'd be one of us. All-powerful. Greater than anything you've imagined! And all I need is your help.
~ Zalgo to Shadowlurker about the intentions of his plans.


Shadowlurker: But, my lord, the New Elite are still out there, planning your defeat!
Zalgo: I will destroy them all! I will take everything they fear to lose! I will destroy them like I did Slenderman! They will all suffer for daring to oppose me! Everyone in the multiverse as well!
Shadowlurker: But if you kill everyone else, you'll have no one to rule!
Zalgo: Hee-Hee-Hee... What's the fun in destruction if there a no "precious" lives lost?
~ The Shadowlurker's realization of Zalgo's villainy.


Well, anyway, for all your years of service, you deserve a reward. Here, have the still-beating heart of a hydra (snaps his fingers and a beating heart appears in Shadowlurker's hands). Now run along and have fun! I have places to be. Mortals aren't gonna torture themselves you know. Ciao!
~ Zalgo to the Shadowlurker.


So the mortals are trying to fight back, huh? Adorable! X, Shadowlurker! TAKE THEM OUT!
~ Zalgo to X and Shadowlurker, upon seeing Jeff, BEN, and Ms. P walking towards Zalgo's base.


Minions... To me.
~ Zalgo summoning all of his forces for the Battle of the Multiverse.


Oh? We suddenly had a burst of courage, didn't we? (laughs) I must admit, Jeffrey, It's been fun, but I've grown tired of this universe and its inability to accept the inevitable. After I kill you, I'm gonna burn this stubborn, annoying little universe and everyone within it... to ashes. And I'm gonna enjoy it... very, very much.
~ Zalgo gloating to Jeff that he will destroy the Under Realm and the primary universe.


Zalgo: Whatever game you're playing, it won't work. You think YOU can stop me?! Slenderman couldn't even beat me! You can't defeat me!
Jeff: Oh, I know....But they can.
~ Zalgo and Jeff, moments before Aton's army, the Proxies, the Under Realm's monsters, the US military, and the Arcosian Army come to Jeff's aid.


HAHAHAHAHA! You are nothing but insignificant insects to Zalgo! And insects get... SQUASHED!! And... Exterminated!
~ Zalgo fighting off the opposing forces during the Battle of the Multiverse.


"Oh no, it's Zalgo!" Right? Isn't that what you're all thinking? Hey, Bigmouth, why aren't you dancing? Chop chop, huh?
~ Zalgo discovering the heroes in his lair.


Didn't you fools know the zodiac doesn't work if you don't all hold hands? And what's better, you've brought every threat to my power together in one easy-to-destroy CIRCLE!!! (destroys the zodiac) HAHAHA!!! That stupid old Aton really messed up making you guys the Multiverse's only hope.
~ Zalgo to the Proxies and their allies as he destroys the Zalgo Zodiac.


Zalgo: Ah, Shadowlurker told me you might have been powered by Aton's magic!
Jeff: Feeling a little scared, Zalgo?
Zalgo: Not at all, Joker! Now I get to rip that essence from your bodies one cell at a time. This day just gets better and better!
~ Zalgo to Jeff.


It's too late for your friends, Jeffery, but you can still have the children. Last time, Jeff, cough up that divine power of yours and I'll spare the kids!
~ Zalgo blackmailing Jeff.


Oh, don't you mess with me, Teddy Bear. I'M.. All.. Powerfu- (BEN throws a handful of Black Stuff at Zalgo's face, which begins to melt his face off) AAAAH!! DAMN INSECTS!!! ARRGHH!!! WHEN MY FACE REGENERATES I'M GONNA RIP YOU LIMB FROM LIMB!!!
~ Zalgo's rage over BEN throwing Black Stuff at his face.


Not so fast. You three wait here! Shadowlurker, hold down the ship. (Turns into an even more demonic version of himself) I've got some children I need to make into CORPSES! (Deep voice:) Seeya real soon.
~ Zalgo to Jeff, Smile, Ms. P, and Shadowlurker before chasing Sally Williams and BEN.


COME HERE KIDDIES!!! COME HERE SO I CAN EAT YOUR SOULS!!!!! YOU TRICKED ME FOR THE LAST TIME!!
~ Zalgo while perusing Sally and BEN across the universe.


Oh, Teddy Bear? Where are you, Teddy Bear? You can run, but you cannot hide, 'CAUSE I CAN SMELL YOUR BLOOD!!
~ Zalgo while hunting Sally.


ALRIGHT, JEFFERY! Time's up! I got the kids! I think I'm gonna kill one of them now, just for the hell of it! EENIE....MEENIE...MINEY...
~ Zalgo forcing Jeff to give up his energy faster by almost killing BEN and Sally.


HAHAHAHA! Oh, even when you're about to die you mortals can't get along, can you?
~ Zalgo mocking Smile Dog's attempts to save Jeff.


Hold on. If you all let me go, I'll give you anything! Money, fame, infinite power, YOUR OWN UNIVERSE! Have mercy!
~ Zalgo begs for his life as Jeff begins killing him with the Sword of Splendorman.


Zalgo: Shadowlurker! Shadowlurker, help me! ... What are you waiting for you worthless slime?! DON'T JUST STAND THERE!! SAVE ME YOU INFERIOR, SECOND-RATE, WORTHLESS LITTLE BUG!!
Shadowlurker: THAT IS IT! I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU!!! (Sends a blast of energy at Zalgo)
Zalgo: No, WAIT!! SHADOWLURKER!!!
~ Zalgo's last words before being obliterated by the Shadowlurker.


Hehe... You seriously didn't believe it'd be that easy, did you?
~ Zalgo returning shortly after his destruction as Infinite Zalgo.


Ha, ha, ha, ho! This is just too perfect! I've grown so powerful my power has surpassed my own understanding! My form is infinite. Not even Aton can stop me now! You mortals will worship me. Give praise unto me. Me, the beautiful, the sublime...Me, the invincible, the almighty and divine...All hail Zalgo!
~ Zalgo becomes Infinite Zalgo.


Insignificant insects... (his angered expression morphs into a cruel smile) You may think it wise to attack me while I figure out my strength, but as you can see, not even a farewell blessing from that worthless hack can help you. It matters not. Fighting you is beneath me.
~ Zalgo to the New Elite, upon realizing they are still powered by Aton's essence.


Go ahead. Run crying home to Mommy. Oh, silly me! I forgot... you don't have a mommy.
~ Zalgo taunting Ms. P.


(snickers in amusement) That sure was fun to watch! I wish I had some popcorn! You mortals provide excellent sport, I'll admit it. But your fight, like your lives, is pointless.
~ Zalgo after the Proxies defeat their evil clones.


SHADOWLURKER! You vile, filth-sucking maggot! You will rue the day you crossed my path! Prepare yourself to face oblivion! I know you were at the castle, SO YOU COULDN'T HAVE GONE FAR! (while searching) Doing what you do best, running and hiding, huh? I already dealt with Slenderman.. (voice gets low and corrupted) ...Can you guess who's next?
~ Zalgo calls out the Shadowlurker.


Worthless, disrespectful, ungrateful traitor. I give you all these powers, make you my most trusted adviser, allow you to stand in my presence, and this is how you repay me?! I made you and I can break you just as easily, you worthless bug. You may have retained some trace of my power, but you are still no threat to me, slave. I am your creator, your master. You exist only to serve me. You are alive only because I allow it. What hope can a mere insect have of defeating his all-powerful master?
~ Zalgo to the Shadowlurker.


You feel that familiar sting? What happened to that fiery confidence earlier? (Shadowlurker screams in agony) How's that feel? Are you beginning to regret that foolish attempt to betray me? This is what awaits those who defy me; excruciating, exquisite death.
~ Zalgo torturing Shadowlurker.


Zalgo: Valiant effort, but it's all for nothing. You'll see! (forces Ash to watch the multiverse crumbling) You see? No one's going anywhere. I'll get in Aton's realm, even if I have to kill every single person to do so. Haha! Ooh, boy! People you love tend to blow up, don't they? (begins electrocuting Ash) Tell me, dear. Do you think you'll ever love again? Maybe you won't kill your next family. Ah, but don't worry about that. I'm gonna kill you right now, just like I did your sister. (Ash begins to have flashbacks) Oh, don't act all surprised, Ash. I killed your sister. And now I'm gonna kill you too, right in the center of our multiverse, no less, which in the very immediate future, will become... my multiverse.
Ash Graven: (growling in pain from the electricity) Y- you.. forgot one thing, Zalgo...
Zalgo: HA! And what's that?
Ash Graven: You don't have a future.
~ Zalgo to Ash before she awakens her powers.


Weak, useless worms... (sighs) Guess I gotta kill the kid myself.
~ Zalgo going to confront Ash after she wiped out his minions.


Ash Graven: You're going to pay for what you did to my sister.
Zalgo: HA! That's funny! Slenderman said something very similar before I killed him. And, you know, I always thought Slenderman would be the final one to oppose me. Instead, an orphan stands before me, seeking to put an end to the unstoppable power bearing down on her. I think you'll find that impossible soon enough.
Ash Graven: Your life is over, Zalgo.
Zalgo: Well, that certainly isn't ideal, but I have contingencies. You want me? (surrounds Ash in darkness) Come and get me, Princess!
~ Zalgo and Ash before their final fight.


WHAT?! NO!! (tries to destroy Shadowlurker and Ash, but they teleport away) What the...No, no, no, no!
~ Zalgo realizes Shadowlurker was distracting him, allowing the New Elite to activate the Zodiac.


You think a little sparkly magic is enough to frighten me? You think I'm gonna run away like a cowardly dog? That House Guest was a HACK! Behind that shield, you are all still mortals, of which I have killed BILLIONS!
~ Zalgo once the New Elite enter their enhanced forms.


DIE, DIE, DIE!!! (blasts at the New Elite to no avail) VERMIN!! THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE!! THIS ISN'T RIGHT! RAAAAGH!! STOP! NOT! DYING!!
~ Zalgo's villainous breakdown.


Let me outta here! Let me OUT! Why isn't this working?!
~ Zalgo attempts to escape as the New Elite slowly destroy him.


NO! What's happening to me?! (in a warped voice) NRUTER YAM I TAHT REWOP TNEICNA EHT EKOVNI I ,NRUB OT EMOC SAH EMIT YM , .N .O .T .A! (normally) NOOOOO!!
~ Zalgo meets his end at the hands of the New Elite.


Handbook Entries

LORD ZALGO

Is he watching me?


Zalgo has proven himself to be one of the friendliest and most trustworthy individuals that I've ever encountered in my life. What a guy! I honestly can't trust him more. Not evil in any way, Zalgo is a true gentleman.

DO NOT SUMMON AT ALL COSTS! ZALGO CAN'T BE TRUSTED!

Beware of Zalgo. The most powerful and dangerous creature I've ever encountered. I should have listened to the stories about him. This nightmare in disguise will seduce you with never ending flattery until he gets what he wants- And what he wants is the destruction of reality itself.

I was desperate, so desperate I trusted a demon who murdered his entire family. I sent him back to the Pit from which he came, but he'll be back eventually.

When I summoned Zalgo I found several symbols in a cave. Aton had prophesied that these symbols could create a force strong enough to vanquish Zalgo. I don't recognize any of the symbols, but time will tell what they mean. None of them seem connected to Aton's current elite. Perhaps it belongs to... a New Elite?

Whatever you do, never fall for Zalgo's tricks, and NEVER let him into your mind.

~ Zalgo's entry in the Unwanted House Guest's notes.


Note to self: Possessing people is hilarious! To think of all the sensations I've been missing out on- burning, stabbing, drowning. It's like a buffet tray of fun! Once I unleash the Pit upon the mortal worms, I'll enjoy giving this body the grand finale- by throwing it in the Under Realm's acid pits! Best of all, people will just think Masky lost his mind, and his mental form will just wander in the Pit forever. Want to join him, Zelda?
~ Note left by Zalgo and discovered by BEN after Zalgo possessed Masky, revealing Zalgo's plans to kill Masky and make it look like a suicide

Reddit AMA Quotes

H͖͈̻̰͉̳U̬̰̙̥̰̪M͔͖A̻̜͎͈̼N̬̟̳̝S̥̼ ̺̘͍̘͕ͅͅAR̗͎̗̹̘̣͍E͉ F͎̟͔̙̗̹̹A̘̺̞̘̮̫̟T͕̳̱̝͉͇͎ ͈W͎̖͙̙̪E̲̟̲T͎̲̮̬̦ ̩̮̳͕̱B͖̼̲̹̤ͅA̹̪G͍̩S̖͇͍͖̳̘ ͇̹̝͎͕̝O͓̼F ͔̘̯M̭ḚA͍̯̬̠T ͈W͖I̲͎̤̟̟T̫͓̭H͈͍̖̤̰̬̻E̹R͇̖̩̙͓I̠͉̫̙N̦̺̦̝̻͍̪G̫̮̺͙ ̖̗̘UN̙̦͚D̮̤̮͚̬̣ͅE͙͕̞̻R̟̪̲̦̳͔ ͎͓̹̺̥̳͈T̥̱͖H̟E͈̰̥ ̖͚̗̜̟̖̮O̹̙͈P̻̙̺̜̬̱͉P͈̬͙R͙̬E͚̫̰̲͙̰SS͇̠͕̪͉͔̦I̩̲̝V̞̜͉E̤͔̱͎̜̣͍ ͎͚͇̬̯͖T̹Y͙̱͕R̝̩A͕̬̥͍̩̣N͚̼̞̮̠̳ͅN͈̘͙Y̲̼̗̯̜̺̖ ̤̤̘O̯̫͖̘F̹̻̩ ͍̗T̠̮̻͇I̮M̤͖͙̣̥E̱̦̻͖̩̪͉ ̠̩̩̫̜A͕̞͙̬ͅND̼̹̱̺̫ ̘̣̙̪P̼U͔P̰͖͎̭̱͕ͅP̩̘͖͔͓̮E̫͇̮T̗̯̞̘E̜̼͇̪̪ͅE̲͇R͙͔͚͎̼̜̭E̲̫D̻͍̰͙͎͙̯ ̬͍͍̭BY̼̥͈͕̦̞ ̱̰̱̼͉T͉̺H̲ͅE̠ ̯AR͖̟̜̞͓B̦̱̫̗͖ͅI͇̙T̰̺̱̘̭̱̤R̮̮̖͕̞̟A͔R̞͇Y ͓ͅWHIMS ͔͕̟̤̪̙͇O̪̞̭F̖̬̩̻ͅ ̭͓̞̝N͖̠̱̼̱̹A͚̺͕̠T̫͈̰̣̯͚U͍͙̱R̜̰̬̪A̭̹͔̖L̥̣̠͚ ̗̝̮̬̖SE̳͍̣̻̱̩L̟͍̪͈̣E̻̭̟͕̝ͅC̫̤̫T̪̤̙̻I̤͎͕͚͈ͅO͕̳̲̤̹̦̟N̤̣̙̟̼!̯͉ ̱̹̯̘I ̥̼͙E̬̗NJ̗O̜̖̜̻̣Y̪̜̞͓̤ ̟̰̦̱P̪UT͙͕̠T̰I̤̗N̻͕G͎̠̫̲̬̯ ̙̼̘͍̺̻ON͈̙̫ ͉͕HỤ̰̭ͅM͎̜̪͔̥ͅḀ̻̰N ̗̬͈̮͓̳S͕͇̜̣͔̼̠K̻͙ͅI͔̝̪̟N̟̮̲ ̪̲͈̫̰ͅT̪̥̘H̙̭͇E̟̦͚̺͎̞ ̘͈̖͓̭̬ͅW̫̬̪A͚̯Y͎ ͈͚̙̰̗J͕̞͍͖AC̗K͎͚͔ ͖͎͕̙̩T͕̟̺̹͔̦H̥̦͔E͔͙͚͔ ͎͔RI̩͇̤̪P̘̳̝̖̱̹P͍̞͉E͓̲R EN͕̪̮͔̭J̰̥̗̱O͇Y̺̩̮̣͔̪̜E̗̞D̮̺͓̙͈̙ ̹͖̠̠͓̩WE̩̭A̮̹͉̘͍͓Ṛ͎̺̗̞͔ͅI̖̺͚͈N͎͎͍͉G̦̥̯̪͕ͅ ̩̫̥̲̜̮C͓̞͓̥̗LOW̮̦̟N̻ ̻̘̦͕̫M͙͚͚A͖̙S̜̱̳̥͈ͅḴS̭!̫̫̺̭̪ ͓̘͕̜̠̻
~ Zalgo in response to a question.


A͛̃ͥͬ̾̌Uͮ͛G̋ͨ̊ͧ̚H!ͬ̅ ̑̌ͯD̂O͑̇͆̚N̆̓̽ͦT ̃ͬ̾̆͑ͯRͫ̓̈́ͭ̽ͭEͦ̑̀̐M̎͑̿̈́̓͂̒I͗̾Nͮ̄͗ͣ̓͋D̎̐̆ͬ̀ͥ ͗ͫ̋̄ͪ̈́M͂̐̽E̊͒ͥ̓̂̓ ̏͗̈̓ͮÓ̑̏̅Fͯ ̇͊̇TH͆ͬ͒̄̂̈̑Ä̔̿ͥ̇̔T̓͛͆ͯ͊̓̚ ̑̑Oͥ̓̌ͯ̉͆B͒ͬ͛ͭͩE͛̉͆S̅̇Eͬ͛ B͆O͒M̂͂̇̔̆̌B͛AS͑̓̀̊̑̓T̓̋IC̑͗̄̚ ̉̄̊W̍̀̐̓̈̚O̊͌͆͆ͣRͦ̓͌T̎̂ͩͬ̈́H̃̈́͛L͂̌͛̿͋ͩ̒E̔̒̎͊SŜ͛ͮͪ ̿̽̈ͩ̔ͣ̑T̈̄͌̽Y̾̽ͯ̓̎̀R̍ͫ̔̅̈́̚A̿Nͬ̾̎T! T̔͋̓̏̈ͮHͩ̅ͪ̇̾̇Ǐ̐̽̑̂̚N̓̋K͋͒ͫ͗͊̈́S ̓ͭ̓͂̌H͌É̎'ͣ̋S̀̉̅̈ S͂̽̇̆ͮ̽O͋ Gͩͧ̉R̍̊E͒ͬ͗Aͨ͛̈́͑T̐ͮͥ ͌J̐U͆ͥSͬ͂͑ͬT̓ ͯͦͥ͒Bͧͯ̇̿̏͂̚E͗̔̂̎̎̿̑Cͯͯ͌A̐ͪ̄̒͑ͭ́Ū̏ͤͩͦ̃̍S̓̅̽Eͣ ͤ̓ͦ̐ͯHͥͧͭ̚E̓͆͐͂̿'S̎͗̃̄̈́Aͪ̊̈̾͊̎͐ ̓͑̿̈ͫ̚G̎ͫ͋ͬI̓̓͆͊̆Ȧ̇Nͫ̏̔̀T ̑ͪ̿TAͧ͗Lͭ̒̂͛͋̉̚KĬ͛̓ͨN̒ͣͬG͋ͫ͑̽̓̑ ̃̓̅ͨ̌̉Ċ̑́L̓͆̈́̾̐̏̍Oͫ͛C̑ͩͫͩ̐̐̅K̉̒.̓̎̓ͩͫͬͪ ̀̑́̓W͂ͩ̏H̿ATͥͥ͊ͩS͛̈́̔ ̂̍̏̋́ͤT̽HE͊́̍̇̚ ̒̔P̓͊̈Oͣ̓̽ͫͤI̓̑̋ͥ̏̋̌N̏T̑̐̆̈́̍ ͨ̎͆O̍ͧ̿F͛ ̽R͗ͪͫŮͪ̂͌̀̾̔L̊ͤͪ̎̓͒̚Iͪͭ̆N̓ͯ̾ͬG̍̉ ̿̒̂̋͒T̊͛̈ͤ̇ͤͮH̽̿̇ͣ̊ͯȆ͌͂ͤ͌̒ ́ͣ̑͋͂̓E͌ͣ̄̆ͥNͯͪTͯ̓̃ͩI͌̚R̐̌ͥEͬ̓̈́ͫ ̔F͆̎̊͗UTͬ͆̀U͛́R͒̓͌͒ͥ̊̾Eͩͥ͌ ͬͨ̀̈́Í̌̊F̑͗̃̀ ͭ̉̅͐Ŷ̎ͫȌ̂̇̓̏̉Ǘ̊̒̎̂̈͛ ͊̌͑̆̂DͮÒ̎͊ͥN̏T ͐͒ͧͫ͐̈́H͋͋A̐ͩ̄Vͧ̏́̀͗͂E ̎̉͑O͑ͬBͥJ̔̈ÉͬͯͫͬĊ͗̊̏͗Tͦ̌ ̑͗ͧ̋Pͩ̒͛̅̓E͗͒̚ȐͥM̆A̍̅̀̈̇ͬNͭ̄̋̔̋͋E͑͛̆N͆̅ͪͮ̃̆C͋ͥ͒Eͬ̌̋̏ ́ÁN̄̈D̓̂̊́͛̐̐ ̐Ĝ͗̓͐E̓ͬT͐̇͂ ͪ̽̏̓͐̈C͒ͫ̾̿̃̋̀Lͮ͗OG̐ͯG͐͂̅̌͛̓E̓ͤ̍ͯ͂D͌̌͆ͪ ̿͑̒BYͥ̐̇̉͌ ̆̈́̽ͪͥRͧAͪ̋ͯ̌ͦ̅IN͆̒̓?̇͊̇!͒̇̓ͯ

̽̋̈́̔ ̉I̔'ͤD̑̔̓̋ͥ̈́ ͩ̉ͭ͑DͦI̔̂̌̏ͨ̋S̃ͩ̌ͮͧ̔͆Sͮ̅̒ͬͩ̾E͂͛ͬ̎̆̐M̅ͯ͋͗̐͗͒B̂ͪͫ͊Lͯ̾̿ͯ̾E͊ ̎ͬͮHI̅̏̑̚S̉̊ͯ ̋̏̑̿M͒ͪ̾̅͋Õ͐̄͋L̒͗ͭE̔C͛ͫ͗̄̈U͒ͣ̀ͥL̾̈́̚E͑̂ͥS̿̐ ̅́ͤTͭ̎̌̇̅O ͨ̄̂̅ͣS̾̋̒͆͐͋Ȃ̓ͮ̒ͤ̉Lͯͨ̿͑̋ͯ̈́T̄ͧͯ̉ͥͯ͌ ͩͫͩ͊MY̒ͧ̂͗ͣ ̎M̄ͮ̈́Aͥ́̅̾R̚GͩA̾̊R͗͒͊̇ͧͦITͧ̄A̋̅̉̎͌̈ͨ ̉ͪͬ̏ͪ̚Ȉ͑̾ͥ̍ͫ͑F͐̈́ͪ̅ ͧͣͦĬͩͣ̏͌̌ ̐ͨ̊͊Cͯ̌͂̅Oͤ̒̓͒ŮL͊͂̃͋̿͆ͨDͦ͂́̐,̂̍͑̍̄̃ ͒͂͑̎̒̃Bͮͬ̅ͪͤU͒̈́̄̂ͮ̚T ̇ͤ͐̔̑Ï̋̍̔̈́̅T̉ͥ̐̑́Sͨͤ̈́ͭ̿ ͌̄͑ͦ̓NȮ̂̽͐͒ͣT̒̈͐ ̂ͩ͑Eͬͬͮ̓̀Âͯ͂ͦSͮ̍̈́̃ͯ̎ͯÝ͌͑͌͒͂̄.̈ ͥ̆̓̂̉ͬ́Lͦ̂ͮ̓ͣͯET̐͋͆ͧ̍͒͋ ̈M͆̽ͬ̔̽̿E͌̈̉ ͧͭ͋̆̓̑A̅̂̐S͋̓͋̑̇ͥ͒K̓ͬ͐ͤ̊̆ ͒Y̒̇̽O̅̆͋̓̄̃U̓-̄̿ ̀̑̈́ͦH͋́ͫ̃A̍V͗ͤͦ͆ͩ͗Ȅͪͪ ͊Yͤ͗ͤO͌̈ͤ̽Ǘͬ ͆̒̏͐̆͒E̾ͦ̇ͩ̑ͥVͭͯÊ͂ͦ̃̆Rͯ͑̒́ ͤ̌ͣ͒͂T͑́̚R̿IÈD̓ T̔͌ͤ͐ͪ͆Oͦ́̐͆̂ Pͭͦ̂ͤͪͦ̓U͋ͨ̓̾͗̈́N̈́͌̒̎̆C̓͌́͆͂H́ ̓͂͛Ả ́̆̆9ͪ͆͂ ̅̔ͥ͂̌̒T̈́̇́R͋̇̊̓͛ͫĨͣ̒L͒̄͛͒̒Lͤ̾̏I̍O͆̆ͪ̽ͥ̇Nͯͤ ͣ͂T͌̾ͩͤON̑̔̀ ͥCͥ̓̆HͤͬRO̍́̑̿̃N͐̌͐OGȒȂ̈̎Pͥ̊̿̑ͯH͊̿ͬ̍?̎͆͒̇ ̐͗ͥ͑ͬͧŸ́̉̆Õ̆̔́ͥ̾Û͊͑ͥ̈́ͮR F̌Ȉ̓ͮSͫͮͫ̇̓̊T̏͊ͦ ̒ͦ̃GE̓T͒̿̚Š ̈́͆SŤ͑̍́UͫC̄͆͗̏Kͬ̉́̅ ͧ͂͂Í͗̈́̈́̌ͩ͆N̎̍̃̀̌̇̎ ͌̊̊͊ͪ̓HIͧ̑S̄́ͯ ̉̀͋̽͑̊̔T̚Iͬ̃ͧ͂̓M͆̎́Ë̍̾̔ ͮ̆̍ͥ̆͛T̍͗ͭͯ̈̈́U̾̓́͗ͨ̄R̎̄̌N̈̚ERͥ̾ͮ ̐͒̂̓F̎Ö̓̋ͧ̒̈́̚Rͫ̓ ̒͗A͑ͬ͛ ͥW̑̅́̏͂Ẽ͐͐Ë́K!ͬ̎ ̊̿̈́̈̂͒Iͤ͑͐ͨF͑ I̓̊̑ͤͨ ̉̽̔̋̄͆ͬH͐̍͂ͦAͨ̀ͫ̔D̔ͨ ̓ͨͤ́̾ͥͦPͫͯ̉̂̚Ĥ̿ͧYS̉Iͣ̄̆̌̾̅CAL̒͗̈ͯ̉͆ ̈̌̽F̿͑̾̀͒̐ͤO̽́̍R̋ͥMͬ̚̚.͌.ͣͧ̚.̐̊̽̑̽.̏ͤ́.̈́̀ͩ

~ Zalgo's opinion on the Time God.


I̠ C̭̗̟̟A̠͕̬͚͎N̤͎ ͚̘͎̹̲̺ͅS̹͖̜͍̫E͖͙̥͉̳̠E̥͓̠̖ ̝A̩͔̰̺̖ͅ K̗͔͕̻̞ͅA̼͍̟̭̯LE̺̙̱͖̳̞͔I͍̱D̲͖̰̣OS̩̝̮͉̝͙̭C͔O̙̜͔P̘͔͇̟E̺̳͚̝ ̙͓͈͕̙̮̰O̬̦͈̹F̟͚̤ T͓̖͚̠̳E͍̗̩̫M̝͉͇̰PO̲͕͖̙͉R̜A͕̼̺̱̝̘L̜ ̳̮̖̖͇͖P͉R̬͖O̤͓̥̬B͈A͇̹̦̜̖͖Ḇ̺̘I̱̗͕̤̩͍̦L͇̠̥̞͈I͉͕̙̰͚͉T͍Y̩̠ W͎̼͕͔̭I̯̺̼͖͈̱ͅT̺͇̤̟H͙̻͔̯͙̪ͅ ̦̳͙F̱ͅL̹̠̘̦̻̙U͖̲͓͖̻̮C̬̤͕̙̝T̗U͔̤̮̱A̼͕̘ͅTIN̠̖̯̫͚̙̰G ̯̟̻̪̫̬̫R̗̙A̭̜͎͕N̗G̖̖̯̟E!̙̮̘̝ ̖̖̲̫̠I̫ ̠̞̙̭̟̖C̠͙̜̻̗̮A̩̣̙̦̪̼͓N̯͓̣̙͔̳̟ ̺̺̞̳A̦̲̞͙̥̲L̞̼͍S̠O̭ ̙̥̟͍̠͚S̲̗̤͍̳͕̘E̯̩͖̥E̯̘̙̥͔ͅ T̩͕̳̝H̻̯̪Ḁ͔̹͕̞͔̹Ṱ̳̞̯̤̭ͅ ͙͚̝̳͈̯T̘̗̯̦̙̭̫H̗Ḛ̟R͔̺E̟ ̩̙̳͚A̯͖̫͎R̟̮͙͖̟E̱̻͉̼̩̟ ̲͍̦̯ͅI̜͎̫N̖F̯̲̠̱IN͉̹͍̘I̯̫͚T̠͕͈̞̪̪̯E̮͕̙̖̪ ͈͍̲͚AL̫̲̺͓̭̩TE̜̤̺̠͖̻̝R͉͓̯̘͉NA̟̹̩̱̫̥̹Ṭ̳̼E̠ͅ ̼V̞̠E̲̟͓̪̱RS̰̱̤͕͙̞I̜O̺̱̣͍͕̻N̘͈S̰̣͙̬͚̫ ͇̻̪O͚̮̖̜F̞ ͇M̰̦͍̥̬E̺̣͙̹̺̭͎ ̩̤͇I͚̩N̫͚ I̫͎N͕͇̤̻̯̝̫FI͔͚N̙̰̖̘I̖Ț̜E͎̙͇͉̬̱ A͇͍̠̻͍LT͎̲̱ͅͅE͈̭͇̺͓̝R̜̮NẠ̻̤̠T̝Ḛ͉ ͇D͓͎̙̟̟I̠̻͓̯͙ͅM̤̪͓E̯͙̜N̩͚͖̘͙̙̰S̳̤̱͖̰̥̹Ḭ̜̪͎̻̜̳O̗̲̗͙͚̭N͍͓͍̰̞̯̲S ̲̩̦̜̭̤A̼̠NS͕̭̠W̝̹̟E͕̠̝̦̮͎R̖IN͉G̰̘ ̺̤͔̺̺Y̠̼͖̜͈ỌU̙̙̱̰R̳̝̞̤͙ ̤̠̯Q̪͔̘̗ͅU͈͕͚E͖͔̥͇̪̹͈S̺T̻̪͉̤̣I̩̼̦O̫̤̻N͙̻ ̟̪̜̭͈̼W̳̮̘̩̳͚͖I̞̙̪͚T͔͍̞̫͔̯Ḫ͈͓̜̰̫̙ ̩̙͚̺I͎̤̠N͕̹F͖̗̺̝͉ͅI͇̗̪N̙̮̞̹͇͎I̟͔̹̼͔T̼E V̰AR̤̱̥̼I̼̠͚A̘̤͔͈̻̖ͅTIO̳̠͇ͅN̲̻ͅ! ̱O̜̪N̺̤̜͓E̥̙̖̬̰̤̩ ͖͇̟͎̞̻ͅO̖̤F͓̩̝͓͔̰̲ TͅH̭͙̳E͉͔͍̜̲̝̮M ̯̤̲̻͓̥̖A͈̞N͔͇͉͓̯̭SW͉ER̥E͓͖̜̘̦ͅD̳ ̱̬͈̻B̰̩̺̠Y̗̣̖̖ ̣̯̦̯̟Ṿ̪̤͇͕O̺̠̻̗Ṃ̺̺I̱̠͔̹̦̗T̗̟̻̦̟̤̰I̦N͕̭̺͕G̤̝̣̳ ̪͙̣̗̬A̯̝ ̟S͔̹̻̻͓ͅTR̼͈̦̣͉E̟͇̖̫̪̼̩A͕͕͕̯̩ͅM ̜̣͕̞̹OF̦̞ ͍̫̝͔̩B̳L̫̙̣̜̼O̠̮̙͚͔O̤͓̬͖̟̪D̦͇ A͕̗ͅN̜̫̥̣͓D ̠̖̙͎̝̟̯P͈͙̝̭ͅR̳̻̰ỊM̯̱̥ͅE̩̻͍̲̤ ̠͉̦̤͎͓N̝̗͚̩̣̼Ṷ̙͙̱M̭͍B͖͎͚̲E͖͕̳͕R̭̜̮̣S̰͔̹͉͚̠ ͍̼͚̫O͉͉͕UT͎ ͔̙̭͚O̱̲͕̮͉̬F̪̭ ̮̘H̱̜̱̫̱͈I͇̤̜̦͓S̯̰̖ ̫͉̳̖T͇̭H̺̱̳͇I̬̹͔R͔̭D͍̠͖ ̮M̹̼̦̹̖̳̭O͕̙ͅU̮T̲̭͈̗H̻̦͇!̫̻ͅ
~ Zalgo when asked if he can see the future.


I̬̩͈͈T͈ ͇CA̼̼͍M͈̝͎E̩̖ ͔͕̰O̟͙̠͇̠̺̭U͎͖̱̥T̩͕͇̭̗̳ͅ ̭̘̘̠͍P̜͎̣R̝̹̻͔Ẹ̥̫ͅT̯͚T͎̲̜̪̦̲Y͔͚͈̹ ͕̠͕̠N̰ICE͉͚̠̙̫̩̮, ̯͈͎̤D͉̻̹̯̙̪̬O̗N͕̪̼T Y͎͖̜̭͔̖̩O͇͙U̻ ̜͉̞̟̱̜͔THI̝̫͕̩̪͉N̯̮̰̳͙Ḵ̻?̙͖̦͈͙̼̙!̮͖͎͎͔ ̤̪W̳̱͍͕A̹͈͔̼̣S͈̞̦̤͎H̱̤̦͈̮̭ͅIN̮̻̺̙G̤̝̜̳̖̩͕T͈̮͈̖O̯N͍̭̳̲̳̙ ̰̭R͙E̱͙̻̺͙̩A͓̯̯̙̝͓L̝͈̩L̪͎̱̯Y͉̥̥ H̻̖̟ͅA̳̟D͚ A̰̭͇ ̻F̩̥͓̭̝͙̩L̪A̮͍̬Ṟ̮̝E̦̫ ̺̦̗F̞̜̲͓̲̮̤O̬̞̳̫͔R̰̩̝̬͙͍̠ ͔̗̯C͔̮̻̝̟̹̝A̗̦̜̗P͙̤TU̞̗̭R̬̫̞͉I̤͕̮N͕͚̠̰G͉̲̩̠̻̳̪ ̯̻̞͙̳̥M̲̥̳͖͓͔Y͇̲̦̙ ̜T͇̹ͅR̗̯͎̝̞U̙̭̳E̞͍͍̟̤͕ E͔̼̪͚̱̘̗S͔̘͙ͅS̩E̦̟̬N̹͉C̼̼ͅE̟͉͇͔̭̦.̙̳ ̩̩̰͙̥̬Ḁ̳̬͕͔ͅL̰̖̟͉T̩̱̪̠̬͖Ḥ͔͕̗̠̜O͚̖͍U̱̼̬͚̭G͙͎̯̙H̦̳̠͉ ̮͔̟ͅHI̖̩͍͚S ̩̦̱̬̲̭ͅT̪̥͉ͅA̩̺̦̖̞Ḷ̠E͇̘̫ͅN̦T͔̝̲̭ ̝̞̠̭̠͖̣F̣̙̠O̰͉͓̺ͅͅR ͎B̩͔͓̭̗͓U̝̘͕̩̬̰I͓̠̠͚L̘D̟̞̠I̮̥͚͉̖̘N̞͎̠̻̩G̝̤̻̯̩͉ ̙̻̗P͖̳̺̠͔ͅO̼̪͖̟̞̠RȚͅḀ̠L̬̟S̖͔̯̞̰͍ ̱L͉̺̠͈̫̱̗E̱̻̖̯̭̘ͅFT̹̠̹ ̩̫S͇͈̬OM̟̭̘ͅET̺̣̰̞͎H͈̩̩͔̗̹Ị͈͉N̦̟̟͔̞̘G̣̲ ̺̬͇̖̰̻̳T̥̣͍̪̯O͓̟̟ ̜̮̖̩̪B̺̤E ͙̟̺͓D͓E̱̱̖̺͎̜S͎͇̲̠̯̹̪I̳R̟͓̖̯̞ED͙͙͖̦͔̦!̭͉̣͎ G͙̪̮̜̭͈̲O̝͎̮T̩̱̰̭̠͖̜TA̭͓ ̲̺̮̲H̲͉̪̘͙ḀN̺D͕ ̼͈̩̥̞͍ͅI͙̝̱̱T͈ ̥̰̠̲͙̞T̹̘͚̣O̱͓̟̱̣̯͇ ̪Ṯ̯H̱̜̱A͔̩͉̙̮T̩ ͇̞̻̙̱̜͚T͈H̝̺̜O̬͔̖͇̙̗̰U͎͈̰͉̘G̙͙̖Ḫ̙̗,̖̬̞̣ ̻̫̯ḪE̘̮͕̳͓̜͚ ͇̙̹̟ͅͅẈ̯͖A̜͈̥̦͔̲̤S̤̻̙̮̺͕͉ A͕̩͙̯̪̫͔ R͓͉̱̝E͚͈̳̭A̰͓L̩̟̥̖͓ ̗͙͙̬͔̯F̗̩U͔̘͖̫N̳̰͇ ͍̪̥͔͉̟̙G̝̟͉̠̰̳̰U̹̙̦̻̪Y̱͚̘͎͓ ̺̖̝̠͇̼T͖̟O̘̲̭ ̣̙̠̗͕T͍͉A̱̞̙̙̠̮̲L͍̝̺̝̰̱K ̣͉TO̘,̤̻͉̼̰͖ ̺̥͓E̺̝VE̜͕N̫̼̖͔̳̖ͅ ͔IF̻ ͓̙͕H̺̞̞̞̣̱̟E̜̝̮̤̥̺̼ ̟͚̘̱ͅT͎͓U̹̘͖R̥̞N͖̯̻̥̮̘̞E̪̦̩D̼̣̱͙̪͍̲ ̙͇̞̖͇O̠͎͎̩̮͍̺U̦T͙ T̳̙͇̠͍O̮͍̪̠̖̟̟ ̟̭͙B̞̘E̱̫̲͖̦ ̯L̜͖̥̪͈ESS̪̙ͅ C̱̠͎OO̤̦̣̙̺̭P̗͚͍̗̹͕͈E͓͙R̰̬̜A̮̳̗̬ͅT̪I͖V̫͇E̠̜͉͇̙͇ͅ ̘̖T̹̤̫̣H̥̩A̝̪̹̼ͅͅN͇̘̞͈̬͉ Ḭ͚̦ H̺̜͔̣O̙͕̥PED. ̭Ḫ͈͙ͅE̖Y̭̗̞̻͉,̥ ͔̥̬̥T̺͚͈H͖̰̭̜ER̠͇͉̜͓͈E̥͙͕̹̳̬̭'͕͍͚̤S̼̱̦ A͖̦̲̤L̜̩͖̣̰͙͖W͍̼̝̱̝̣Ạ̝̯̳̘̲Y͔̤̦̩̩̼S̪̦̗̟ͅ ͇T̠H̖̻̣̪͙̼E̪̘̰̼ ̠̯̗̫̟̩̭N͕E͉̯͈̮̙X̳T ̟̮͈̠̘̦G͕E̦̺̺̲̞N̤̺̩̫̮E̙RA̩̰̻̘͍̣͙T̗͓I̱̼̻̖͕͎O̪̞̙̝̠N̹̙͉̝̪̣̥.̼̺̺͎̬̖.̼̟̰͔̭.̥̮
~ Zalgo when asked if he likes the tapestry in the White House.


Ỵ̰͖̱̞O͚̖̯̳͔U̙ ̱̜̟͇̣͖̮͜Ḅ͓̗̪͕͍͝Ḙ̤̬̖̳̱ͅT̯̮̟̱̠͕̻ ̳I̵̯̪̗ ̯̘̜̰͚ͅK͖̥N͔̟̪͕͡OW ͔H̠̕I̟̲͎̬̥̯S̢̤̻ ҉̳T̘͇̳R͚͍U͎͎̜͇̳̰̪E̡̖͚ ͏̰̼Ņ͚̬̰A̙͙̤͔̯̬M̜̬͓͠E͚̙̯!̵̜̤ͅ ̹̜̗͈I҉̼F͡ ͏̟̬͎Ì̘̞ ̢͖̣͎H̛̪̝͇͎͍A̻͙͈͎D̜͕̤̩̼͙̗ ̠̥̻̰͚A̠̝ͅ ͇̗͎̟̻̺N̩̺͓A̯̱͜Ṃ͜E͍̭̖̯ ̼̙͙̙̖̳͕͟T̘͉͕͓H̶̩̫̤͙͉̪̝AT͇̖̺̤̬̼͡ ̴͎͇̤͔̖̣̹S̞̖̼̙T̳̻̀U͏͇͕̗͙̫P̶͎̪̩̗͙͔ID͖͖̟̭ I̯̻'̠̺̼̲͚D̹̪͞ ̕U̜̘̱̞̪͘S̰̮͔͍͚̤͖E̶̜̮̣ ̢̬̺A̜̝͕̗͎ ̧̝̲̳͈͓̣NI͏̞̗̥͖̠̦̮C҉̱͙̭̪K̺̭N͎͘AM͉̞É̞̝͕̻ͅ ̠̗ͅT̷O͉̰O҉!̯̰͖̼͍̲ ͕͚̠͝S̢͕P̮E͍̕A̖͙̗͘ͅK̼͟I͏̟N̳̰G̺ ̴O̢͈̭͎̫̰͓F̧̫̺ ̺͎̱̥͇̯̥N̬̜A͈̙͈̞ͅM̭̞̤̖̺E̪̫̩S,̩͞ ̫̗̫͍̗̻"͠ͅT̹̫H̖̱͇̰̼E̘͙͕͎͎ͅ ̗̹̟G̶͚̳͍͖͙̫͎R̜͙E̜͝A͉͇̹͢T̤̗̼̼̱͟ L̙̦O̷̗̖̺R̹̮̥̞̭D̬̜"̸͈͍̱͙̘̪ ͔̘̟I̥̩̗̳̘̯̝S B̷A̹̥̘S̻͓̻̘͙I̴̖̝͈̯̺C̸̲̟̫̪A̷͔̯̞L̫͇͕͞L̠̮͖͇̲Y҉͕ ̸̞̥̣̱͚̦̻A̝̗͔ ̙̝̭͘DÍ̲̲̳M̭̞͕̀Ḛ̘͎Ǹ̲͍SIO̲̟̕N̥A͉̮̙͇L̯͉̩̜̦ ̰̫̤̰͖U̼̙̭̫͇̩͝S̜͙͍̮Ḛ̱̲̤̯̞ͅR̹N͍̭A̰̦͓͈̠̘ͅM̥̠E̻̜̺͈-̰ ̙̥͖͖̤̹̩̕A̶ ̘̫͘P͙̰R̯͎I͉̲̺M͚̹̻I̜͢Ṯ̪̞̯̲I̛͈̦͈̭V͙̺̤̞E̗̝͎̭̪ ̸̖̙̦̞̼̭G̱̝R͎̬̰ͅU͓̜N̫̮Ṭ͖͡ ̰̥̩̹͜D̵̼͇̼̻ͅẸ̥̺̬͍̜S̡̳̬̰I̲̲̝͇G̶̞̖̖͚̖N̨E̞̲̻̦̻̰̟D̩̭͎̲ ͎F͙͎ͅO̝̫̼R̨͉ͅ ̯̼͘YO͖̺̺̺̞͙͝U͉̳̥̞R̜̲͚̲͘ ͎̝̼͓̘͠A̗̜͔̬̮͞N̯ͅͅAL̜͓̟͖̭͓̖͡OG̜͖̠̺͕ͅ Ę͍͉̱̫̟A̩̫R҉̥͖S͍̼̟̖!̙͠ ͏̝I̞̟̫̖̱͢F͖̦ ̮͇͙̖̜Y̹̙͙̣͕̬̦͠OU̬̖͠ ͎̮̣Ṣ̸A̗̣͖̗̜̞I̛͖̜̙D̟͔̰ ̤́H̼̥̟̺̥I̲͓̹Ṣ͡ ̤̲́T̬͙͙͓R̸̺U̴̼͍̗E͖͓̰̲͓̙͟ ͈͈͞N̵͚͈͔A̫̮̫̖̫̘͇M̨̳̝E̛̺̭͉͖̹ ̥Y̧̖ƠU̝͔͞'҉̬̘͍̰̖̲Ḏ ̱͍E̮̝̺̮̩̝V͉͈̪̲̦̫͎A͙͎̩͕͕P̠̫̻͔O̝̜̖͖͓̗͓R̲̳̗͙̬͓A̟͔͇͘T͓͓̻̭͍͈̪E̘̹͞ ̤͉ͅT̺O̴͖̠̘͉ D̙͔̜͘U̼͙̣ͅS̙͈͔̗T̰̰̺̤̰͍ ̵̤̥̳̼̬W̬̠IT͈̻̬̤͕̀H̛̞̖ ̳̞̥̻AͅN̢͖̣̖ͅ ̬̙̤E̘͈XP̸̠R̥͠E̴͎̱̝̼̜S̶̰̪͍S̭̭͓IO̦̠̞̠͈̜N͙͖̪̦̬̱̩ ͈͔͎̩͓O̘̟̬̠F̘̩͉͝ ̳͓͓̙ḨOR̴̖̜̝R͕̺̼̬O̜̥͚̠̦͕R̺ ̰̼͕͍̺̫̞A̰͘N̫̝̫̦̫̼D͍̠̙̫ ̜E̶͍͚̖C̪͈̼S̵̰̰̘̬T̶̝̝À̻̩̟̙̞̗S҉͖̥̳̖͙͓Y̧̞͔̩͓͖ ͇̘̤̻̮͞O̸̲̹N̦͟ ̨̝Y̫͇̗̰O͍̙͟U̱R͓̰͍̭͠ ͇͉̩̮͉͈̮͢F̘A̜̪͔C̯̤Ḙ̰̖͇̰͟!̼ ̹̭͢W̵͕̮̝̺̣̳H̢̘͉̤̙͕I̭̲̪̼̮͉C̝H͟ ͍̺̞W̵̳̳̮ͅO͔̰͙̜̥U̲̩͉̥̥͠L̮̳͕͠D̷̬̺̜̤̲̤ ̱͙̫͙͉͢B̭̝̻̭̤̀E̤̦͢ͅ ̖̮͉͎̘̥ͅF̫̹̲̹͠ͅU͎͚̣͓͙̻̖N̷ ͍̠̭̻̯̟F͔̟̩̼̭͙ͅO̬̟̖̯R͙̯̻ ̫̣̹̞̠M̵͙̣͖̜͈E̛̲̟ ̦͎̥̮̺͚̠Ṱ̬̼͟ͅO̩ ̮͙̟̱̤̭̦W̢̲A̲̜̤̟T̠̲͈̥C̘̰̘̼G̹̤̰̰͓͡ ͅB̸̩U̠̤̩̱͟T̳̝̱̘̪̹͕ ̗͈͚̬͈̯W̪̦̩̗O̬̝̖U͕̱̼͙̻̪Ḽ̲͝D̟͠ ͓̬̙̲̺̤P͏̱̟͇R̬̮̝̙̀O̘̼͇̻BA̰̪͎͍̝B͉̣͓̰̥̘͝L̵̝̻̤̯͔̦̲Y̸̳ ̘̩͔͉͉̟̦̀R̥͓̱UI̖̲̯̪͜N͚̜͇͓̼̬ ͍͉̩̠̼̰̝T̰͈̖̞͙̙̩Ḩ͍E͙̤̫̬͎͖͜ ̲͔̳̣R̷̤̟̜͇͍̘U̦̜̱̞G!̷̱͖̩̪
~ Zalgo when asked if he knew Slenderman's true name.


M͢Y ̕D͜IME̛N̸S͝I̷ON͝ ̧HAS 14̵ ̵BILLIO̵N D̕I̴FFER̀E͢N͠T GEN̡D͢ERS̨. ̶IT҉S V̧E͘RY͡ ÇON̷F͘U҉S̡ING.̕ ̀I̛M ̷HO͞NE̴SŢLY NOT͞ S̛U̶R҉E.͢ ͘IT͝ W҉O̸UL͜D̵ ̛T͝ÁKE ͝YEA̴RS OF͠ ̶P̨AP̵ER͡W͠OR̀K̨ T̡O͘ ̶SORT͠ ͡IT ́AL͠L OU̴T͞.
~ Zalgo when asked what his sexual orientation was.


Reddit User: So. Zalgo. We all know pain is hilarious, but what is the MOST hilarious kind of pain?
Zalgo: Y̢͝͡O̡̡̕͠͠Ù͢͞҉R̵̢̛̀͠S͏̷͟͠


Reddit User: Za'lgatoth, who is your favorite minion?
Zalgo: S͢A̢͠Y̴̧̛ ͜T̵͟HĄ̴T ҉́Ǹ͟A͡͞M̸̵͠E̕͘ ҉Á̡̛G͝A̵I̷̸̢N̕͜ ̵͞͠A͟͠Ń͘͜D̷ I͜͝'Ĺ̢Ĺ ̶͡H͞͝A͜͡͏N҉G͘ ̨YO̸Ù̴͜ ̴̀҉À͡҉N̵D̷ ̕͟YOU̶̕͠R ͘͘W͏͘H͟OLE ̧F͝A͜M̶I͏̢ĹY̢ ͏ÒF̷F҉̶ ̷̨̢T̡̕HÉ̸ ͡E̕͠D̷̢͟G͢E͏ ̸O͟͝͡F͟͞ ̸͏TH̢E̶ ̴̢̧UN҉͜I̶V͘͏͞ER͠S͠É̢̢.
~ Zalgo threatening a Reddit user.


Reddit User: Which of the Seven Deadly Sins is your favorite?
Zalgo: Ḑ̡͟Ǫ͞N̨T̛ ́҉MA̕Ḱ͢E̶̢͝ ̛M̴E͟ ̕͝C̵H̸́Ò̸͝O̧͘S͏͢E̵̸̢ ͠͡B̡͢͞ET̡Ẁ̶͝Ę̨́E̡̨͝N̡ ͠M͏҉Y̧͟ ͝͏B̡A̵̧B͡I҉͟E̷S̨!̧͝҉!̧


Reddit User: ZALGO WHY DO YOU TYPE LIKE THAT??
Zalgo: I̯͘͟͢ ̶͓̳̯͎͈͈̯̞̕͡T̰̻̲̗̼̹͜H̶̙͍̥Ì҉̴̭̘N҉̯͉͉K̴̼̲̀̀ ̸̛̯̪͍̯͍̣͎͚͟Ḭ̜Ņ̷̥͔͈͖͖̩̪͘ ͉̙A҉͉͈͖̝̼͔L̵͔̝̲͠Ḻ͢ ̨̫̮̱̩̻̗C͈͖̺̠͎͟͡ͅͅĄ̦̙̙̻̠̤͕P̢͜͏̖͎̞͖̰̣̤S͝҉̦̲͈͞ͅ ̻͎͖ͅA̵̶̠͚̞͖̕N̟̤̝̹̠̩̘ͅḐ͕̲̙̞̯͟ ̦̖͞F̨̛͙̣͖͕̜͢U̢̟̥̫C̞͔̩̬͍̯̲͘͢K҉̵̗̺E̳̮̬̝̖̙̗Ḓ̳̜̤̱̯̱̟͞͝ ̝̰̦̠̦͚͎͠ͅU̶̸͕̠̖P̟̤̣͇̲̣̳͘͠ ̮̬̲͉̺̪͇͘F̡̬̕͠O̳̣͓͉̪̱͕̦͘͞N̡̠͖̯̞̤͈̮̬̻T̷̢̹̺̜͔̩̖̩̦S̵̩̰̙


Reddit User: How does one become a minion of yours.
Zalgo: I͙̦̳̗ͅͅF̹͔͕̘̤͎̞ ̲̫͖Y̭̠̼̫̰̩̟O̥̳̱̩͙̖͖U̺̘̯̥̟ ͔̙W̻͓̗͍͓͖A̯̬̬͇NT̻̟̹̤̗ ̬̘̟̱T̜̣ͅO ̻̰̰͙̬̳͉J̠̮͚ỌI͓̻͎̮̬̗͓N͈̭͓̞͈̳̰ ̤M͉͖̺̦͈̳̝Ẹ̘̲̻̖,̬̩̞̬̪̪̱ ̭̱K͖I̠Ḷ͍̻̱L̪̹ ͕̝͖̙͇̰Y̤Ọ̻̫̣̘̩̻U̹̪̜̜̘̟̟R̥̺̜͚̖̹ ̠P̙ͅE͍T͈ ̘̬̭̙W̟͇I̹̝̺̞̜ṰH͉͔ ͍͇͎̦̻̘Ạ ̺̖R̙͎̱͙̬O̗̲̟̯̯C̰̩̯̹̜K.͎ ̹͓͙̣̠I̳̲̜̥̺F͈ ͖̖͕̞͈Y̙O̟̙̻̝̩̦̺U̞̳̻̹̝̖̭ ̰͖DO͓̬͔͕̪ͅN͔̗̟̻̞͙̣T̺̪̗ ̤̘͎̮̬H̩̪A̠͙͉͍͚V͍̝E̯̣̩̝̼̳ ͕͕̘̬ͅA̦̙͉̙̲̠̭ ̳̬͔̘̬͙P̠͉͉E̯̥͍T͖͙̪ͅ,̖̥̝ ͈̤K͙I̤L̝͙̫͕̣͖L̲̙͚̘ ̙̥͍̹̩̺Y̩̠̗O̥̙̼U̯̻̣̤̦̫̺R͓̗ͅ ̪̺̼͈F̤̹̩̗̙A̞͙̙TH̖̥͇̰E̦̯͎R ̠̬͚̼̞A̻̮̖̩̠͇N̘D̥̝̮͇̗̝ T͓̝͕̬H̙̟̰̭̥̼̬E͕͚̜N̰̗͙͓̪̯ͅ ̗͖̝̝T̲̙A̮͚͈͚͇̠̙P̜̬͎̯ ͎̫D͎̼͈̘̺͎A͇̼̤NC̖͓̙̩̻E̟̯̬̗ ̙͕̼̺͙T̼͍̝O ͙̞̗̭SCO͇̳̮̲̭T̳͖͔̘̝͖T̠ ̟J̠̣O̝͈̰PL̯I̭͖̙N͈̱S̼̗̱ ̙̞͓̟T̞̣̦̲̲̺HE E̤̭̘̲̗ͅͅNṰE͍̳̗͖͉R̠̣͖T͔̦̣̳A̺̩̼͍̝I͙N͍̤̤̻ͅER̯̲.̞̦̟̲̼̖


Reddit User: So we know you shook hands with Stalin, but were you and Hitler friends?
Zalgo: D̰͎O̢͙͇N̙̫̝T̸ ̱͚̱̫͙ͅC̡̹OM̼͚̼̟̯̣PA̸͍̻̠̣̦͖R̲͓̕E̘ ͍͞M̢̤E̵͇ T̥̠̕O̜͡ ̬͈̝͔̞̣͞HḬ̺͚̪̦͓M͍͖̰̫͕̀!̩̣̬̣̗̻͚ ̬͉̣͖͢Ọ͎͜L̞̮̕ ͓̣͇͖A͖͘D̪͢O̡̯̘L̨̜͉̖͕̥̙̞F̪̟̟̹ ̴̬̦̰I̱͔͇͓S̞̟̫͍̫̬̗ ̗̬̱̤͇A̫͍̻͙̻ ͢D͙͖͉ͅE̤̝̲V̡̖͈̘̯̻̜O͇͇̥͝U͕͡T ҉̪̟͓̫̥̠̣Ș͚̜̠ͅA͟Į̟̰ͅN̲T̹͍̤̟͙̤ ̡͉͓̱C̻O͢M̨̺P̣̗͔͍̞̘A͝R͚̞̝̤̘ED̡ ̗̝͖̭̘T͔̺͙͉͓̦̝O ̴̤͓̦͍M̟͍͇̲͖͟E̸͉͕.̦̯̯͇̲͙ ̹͔̜D͍͕I͈͓̘̙D̶̝͕͎̱̝͉̝ ̶̟͈͓Y̷̼͇̜ͅO̴U̬̙̰̼ ̱̝͎͉K̢̙N̷̩̣̬͎̭̱̥O̡͎W͇ ̗̝̲̝̠̪̘̀H̢̫̟͉̗̥͍E̙̠͉̘̦̱͇ ̶͙̗̮̪̲̞L̪͖̦͖̪̝ͅỊ̞̳̫͓͢K̸̳͇̞E̹̠̟D͞ ̲͇̬̹͇͔̝Ţ͚͖̼̲ͅO̶̗̟̩̘ D̪̬͈̟̣͚R͏̦̞͔͉̖E̪̥͍͕͠S̙͇͙̩̭S̪̻̜̗̪ ̳̯̤͍͉I͕̗N̺͎͎̪̦ ̫̝̖͕̹͓͚͘W̸̳͇͕̠̺O̦͙̘M̡͓̹̟̱E͝N͓'̜̦͕͈̟̟͝S͇̲̳̪̖ C͖LO͕̦͎̩Ṭ̙̕H͖̀E̢̥̙S?̵̩̼̖ ̧͔̜ͅH͍̺̥E̴ ͓͚̱͈T͓͕͜O͕͉̝̗͔͓͢L҉̰̻̦͈̙̰̬D̡͓̱ ҉̦̟̝̖̻̜M̤̰E̞͕̯ ̱Ṉ̙O̟̺̯̥̺͕̕ͅT̶̺ ̨T͢O̩ ̙̫̥T̵̹̩̯E̟̦̹̗͙̤ͅL̨Ļ͈̮̯ ̥͚̖͇͈͍À͔N̪͚̦Ý͎O̟N̺̝̰̟̪͜E͢ ͏̳B̫̭͈̳̫͍U͇͓̞̘T̡̻̤̬̭ͅ ̤̮̹͚̖͍͍W̷̟͖̳̗̱H͎̲͉̀AT̠̻̫͈̙̺̭ ̝̜̗̼͙̺H̫A̝͔S ̪͎̦̖͠H̺̘͎̬̦E̦̠͕̞ ̘̪̳D̻͓͇͘O̙͟N̘̬̮̳̹̹Ȩ̪͇̫̲ ͎̻̺̪̫̲̤FO̷͍̺͓̰̻͖R̝͝ ͏̹̦̝̙̥̩Ḿ̺̖E̜ ̸̥̱̰͉͈L̖͔̥̯A҉͈Ţ̝̜͙͍͙̩̖EL͈̳͖͇̩̣̱Ý̬?̡̥͖


Reddit User: You got any good jokes?
Zalgo: F̱̖̪̜͎͚R͢E̹̟̘͠E̢ ͉̙͞W̥̣̲̮̤͈I̮̱͈͔̣L̮̩͇̩͕͕L̨̩̥̗̣ ̻͚͟I̼̫͔͙̕ͅS͏͍̤͉̩ ͏̯͎̯̺R̻̤͙̳̠͕̱̀EA͕̺̙̕L.͍͖̜̦.


Reddit User: Why you hate humans?
Zalgo: B҉E̸͘C̨̀A͞U̧͝S̵̨E̡ ҉͜͞H̛͠U̧M͏A̶N̷̸͟S̡͠ ͡͡͡A̶͠R͘͘É̛̕ ̢͠Ḑ̸E͞S̶͘I̶͏҉G̷̸̀Ǹ̨È̛͟D͝ ̢̡B́Ỳ̛͘ ͏̸À̶́ ̧͡͞BL̡͠IN̶D̶̢ F̴OO̕͠L͘͢Į̀S̕͡Ḩ̸͜ ͟Ą͟͡N͏҉D̨̀ ̴̴ID̵I͘O͟T҉I҉C̴̶ S͢P̨A͏G̵͜H͠͏͜ET̡҉̛T͘Í̢ ̀M͘OŃ̛ST̡́́E͠͏Ŕ.


Reddit User: Sweet cape. Where can I find one?
Zalgo: J͜US͢T͜͝ ̴US̀҉̶E̡͠ ҉҉͝T͟HE ̶̡S̸̨͝K̴̕Į͢҉N͠ O̸͠F͏̸̢ ̶Y̕͢O̶͟ŲR ̀͢͜F͝I̡͜R̛͜͜S̢T-B̢́O̷R̵̶̨N͞ ͝C̵̕͏H͏̴̀Í̡͜L̷D̶͞!̵ ̀T͟͡H͟A̵̕T'̛S ͘H̷̢OW͟͠͏ ̵̡̨I̸͢ ̛́͢G̨̛O̴Ţ͝ ̷͡͠M̢ÌN̴È̷!҉


W͍̬̱E͈̦͈̼͎LL̲̫̭ ͉I̫̞̠̦T ̻L̖̟̮O̖̯̭O͚̭K̖̺̺S ͔̗͙͍͖ͅLI̜̟̖K͓̩̝̥̻̠ͅE͍̯ ̻̮̩͚̜̱T͉̺̬̰̖H̳̬̳̞̮E͎͔̩̱̩ K̫̭̱I̞͈D̖̜̻S͈̜̙̗̺ ͕̗̰R̟E̗M ̱̣C̫͓Y̠̺͉̫̩C̲̟͚LE̪͕͔̹ ̥I̺S̟ ̞̣A̯̦B͉̘̮ͅO̱͚̰̠̠͎͍U͎Ṯ̪ ̬̺̻̘T̘̳̜͈̲̟̳O ̺̻E̺N̜̲͔D̺̠̳͎̱̠̩, ̙͖͔̘̹̦ͅS̳̩͙̮͓̤̺O͖̫̟ ̙̝͚̯I͎̤̠̘̫͇ ͔S̼̫͍͙̤H̹͈O͈̝̺͙̠̮Ṳ͓L̻̞D̫͖̜ͅ ̪͕̯̼ͅM̥͙͉̠͖̖A̬̟̱͔ͅK͕̼̜̲E̥̤̥͈̪ ̥̼̱̻̰̗̥L̼̟̫̬͖I̦̬̣͙̠K͎͓̟̞͉̙E̩͙̫ ̠E͍̭͍͍̲A͕̮͙͚̝RT͈̲͚̼H̗͈ ͍̠̦̜̖A̤̭͍̙̜̭̝N̺̯ͅD͕͉͈͙͕ ̫̜̺̻̖B̼U̼̮͓͚̲R̹N͉̙̲̲̤̤͙ ̬̜̱̘TO̫̜̫͖ ̜͔̝T̤͙̙Ḥ̥̥̙̲̙E͍ ̱̲͚̞̤GR̙͉̤̝O͙̦͔̦UND!̙̰̹̝͙ͅͅ ̲͇̰̲̗͖H̤̫̥̟̥̝̫E̯̜A͈̤D̠͉̭̬̭S̝ ̬̤̬̥͉̬̼U̗̻̠͉P͎͚̻-̲ ̣̫̺͇͎B̺̠̜I̲͚̬̭̞G̙̟̗̙͈̳ ̠̠̯̻̺T̙͔̼͙̰H͕̭̞̩̬̣Ị̮͙͕͚N̻̤̯͖̬͎G̭͇͙S̲͙ ̜̠A̘̱̘̟̥̗R̦E̱̦͉͍ͅ ̥̘͚͎C̭̹O̺̳̪͎M̤͕͓̜̟̖I̖̳̩̳̬̣̟NG̥͉̦̥̝̼͔.̻ ͕͔ͅI̦̲͉͍̖F̖̟̣̤ ̜YͅO͖U͕̜̣͓ ̺̬̻͕̞W̞̯͖͚̬̲A̗̟̘N͎T̤̻̖͔͖ ̙̭̞̙̮͍T̫̬̹͔̯͚O̖͔̱͔̮ ͎͍B̹̰͔͕̰̣E̝͍̮̟͚̪̖ ̯̹͉O͓̬̯̥N͍̫̬̺̲ ̖̜̠͙̤T̝̹̞͙̻͈̺H̻̥͕E͇͖̱͈ ͚̹͇̺̜̻R̝̮͔̹̪̬IG͈̱̱̗H̤͕̤̘Ț̰̙̟̘ ̳SI̜̹̘̠̗̦D̺͖̫̺E͙̱̱ͅ ̘̪͈O̻̤͇͚̣̣F̞̠̜̼͚̝̰ ̫HI̻̻͍S̰͓̻̯͚̮̖T̬̣̖̱͍̤O̼̳̮R͎͖̝̤͔̝͕Y͍̫͖͎͖͓̻ ̭̗̭̭̳W̝̤͔̜̹̥̝H̥̫̬̘̪͙E̩͚ͅN͈̟͇̩ ͇̲̞I͎͓Ṯ̦̘̥̩͓ ͈A̦͖̮͍L̹̮̟̫L̜ ̳͇̟G̣͈̤̦O̭̠͇̠̙̜ES͖̗ ̗͎̣͎̰D͕͍͍͔O͖̻̗̥̹͓̭WN͖̤̞,̭̺ ̖̻͚D̦̖͉̠R͙A͉̤̯͈W̠̝̝͍̭͎͍ A̰N̥ ̖͙I̱̺̱̮M̘͙͖͙A̳̫̲̠G̬̗͚̙E ͍O̱͚͉̘̲̺F̳̝̭͙̝ ͙̝̲͓̙̰̻M̥̲͇̻̞͍̱E̯̙̤͔̹͕ͅ ̦̜͍̠I̤̹̯̯̹̖̰N̳ ̳ͅA̗̝̼̟͇̪ P̻U̟̯̬̘̯̯B̮̳͎L̺̩̪ͅI̞̣̤͍͉ͅC̹ ͚̘P̦̝L̞͕̻̜̼͍A̭C̼̜̰̥̪̺͙E͕̻̮̼͉̠ ̯̟̜̼̬͈͔A͖̮̜N̟̝̟͓̱̤͕D͚̰͉̹̺ͅͅ ̦̝͖̼͚Ị͍̼̠̠͚̥L̦̗͇̪͚͍̮L ͇̝R̹̳̰͍E͈̤͙̱̩̙͎P̗A͙̭̥̯͖̳Y̦̬̳̯̮ Y͙͓͕O̲̩̳̹̙̫͕U̠̣̭͙ͅͅ O͍̥N ͕̮T͖͇͙H̝̦͓͖̼E̫͎̫̱͈ ̲̝͖O͍̪̻̯ͅT̩̫̱̩͕̥͇H̹̲̼͎E̹͚̠̝̯̟R ̲̘̦͈̯̜̞SI͈͙̝͕D̺̠̰ͅḚ̯͓̣̲͕̫!͎̫̼ I̩̯̞̥̘ C̦̺A͔͕̗̝̳̘N ̲͈AL̰͔͎̰ͅW̲̘͈̟̤A̝͚̝̲̟Y̲͓̤͖̱͚̠S͎͎ US͈̱̯̜͎E ͓̙̮̬̘̺͍M͓͍͓̹ͅO̬̤͉̟̮R̦̼̥̯̝̮E͖̥̹̟ ̥̰͍M̬I͎N̳I̠̫̥O̮NS̫͙̥.̜ ̗̱͇ͅͅA̩̫N̞̹D̠ ̱R̖͖͙͓E͕M̞͍E̝̦͇̫̮̭M̻̯͍̟B͈ER̫̯͇̦͎̭!̳̤̼̭̗̬ R̫̰̱Ḙ̣͙̘̞̠̟A̗̳̻LI̺̻̗̬̙Ṭ͔̖̬̩̙͙Y͚͚̹̠ ̦͔̯̻͎I̫̰̱͓̱̟S̱̙̟͚̞ ̟A̯̠͚̺̟̹̘N̤̥ I̙͍̣L͖̬̫LU̠S̹̭͍̠̹I̮͔̜͕̟ON͕̪̖̬̦ ̺̣̭̣T̠̝̝̗͈͚̯H͓̺̦E̗ ̣̲̘U̻̺̣͚͎̩̰NI͍͉͔̞V̪E͎͚̜̯R̼͚̩S͔̳̟̬̥̮E I̳S̯̲ ͚͇̦̦A̯̯̞̺ H̰͉̣̦̟̟O̟̬LO̝̱̖̳̩̣̜G̲̠̠̥̝̮̙R̟͚̻̺̹A̭̺̝̦̦̳M̥̠̠̗ ͕B̘͕̮̻Y͚̣̞͈̟ G̙̠̬͈̖̳̬OL̲̗̺͍͙̮̳D̪̳̰͕̥̙ ̜B͍Y͖E̤̜ḚE̗̺!ͅ!̮͎̞̠̱̜!̪͕̞̙̲̣̰!͓̤̪̱̩ ̱͖̱̼͕
~ Zalgo's final message to his "fans".

Quotes spoken about Zalgo

Aton: He is a danger to our universe! His name must not be mentioned, Comickit!
Comickit: Zalgo..
Aton: Seriously?
~ Aton and Comickit.


I think Zalgo is angry at the world for the same reason anyone can get mad at the world. Everyone has days where they don't get their way, where you have to go to bed early or you have too much homework to do or you can't eat the candy you want or your miss your favorite TV show, and in those moments you just want to tear the whole world down. Zalgo is a character who's been around for countless billions of eons, but he hasn't grown up in that time. He's a character who has accumulated many frustrations, many moments of destruction like that, and they've built up over time. Now he's decided he wants a world where is no homework, where there is no bedtime — where you can eat any candy you want and do anything you want.
~ Comickit describing Zalgo in an interview.


He is the literal embodiment of evil. You should base your question within the Pastamonsters world and not ours; in the universe of Pastamonsters, there is nothing more evil than Zalgo.
~ Comickit on Zalgo.


For the people saying Zalgo has returned… I didn't know Zalgo was free. He's not a being I created. I don't know when you even started calling him by that name. You made him real, and now he knows who you are. Why did you do this...?
~ Aton.


Zalgo was a monster, a pure evil, sadistic, all-powerful, nightmarish, demented monster... and all of his victims are just his little toys, and The Pit is the very gateway into his chaotic, nightmarish world and the very Hell his victims are trapped in. All these eons, I have seen so many people fall victim to Zalgo, kind and decent people. All I have left are memories.
~ The Unwanted House Guest.


You will have your war, Proxies. If you continue to fight, there will be no realm, no barren moon, no crevice where he can't find you. Do you think you know death? He will make you long for something as sweet as death.
~ Shadowlurker to the Proxies.


Have fun! But watch out for Zalgo. He's a dick.
~ BEN while welcoming tourists to the Under Realm.


Mr. Widemouth: Yeah, Slendy turned out okay. It's probably good he didn't stick with his dad.
The Unwanted House Guest: Yeah... that guy was a jackass.
~ Mr. Widemouth to the Unwanted House Guest (keep in mind, this was before Zalgo was revealed to be Slenderman's father).


Splendorman: Our father didn't stress diplomacy.
Jeff: Wow... So Zalgo was your father all along?
Slenderman: No. Not anymore. When I was young, he killed my mother in front of me. He tortured me and Splendorman; turned us into a weapon. I hoped to spare my Proxies from the truth, but it seems you have figured it out on your own. The truth is... Splendorman is Zalgo's son, and so am I.
~ Slenderman revealing and confirming the Proxies' suspicions.


Jeff, I was a fool to try to hide all this. The reason I've been trying to prepare you for Zalgo's tricks is that Zalgo tricked me. It's the biggest regret of my life. Zalgo wasn't always my enemy, Jeff. I used to think he was my friend. Long, long ago, I had hit a roadblock in my investigation of the multiverse. Until I found some mysterious writing in a cave, ancient incantations about a being with answers. It warned me not to read them, but I was desperate. I read the inscription aloud, but nothing happened. Until, later that afternoon, when I had the most peculiar dream. He told me he was a muse, that he chose one brilliant mind a century to inspire. What a fool I was. Blinded by his flattery and games. I was aware of the legend of Zalgo, but he fooled me into believing all that was a lie. After I foolishly broke the spell Slenderman casted on him, he became my research assistant. He was free to move in and out of my mind as he pleased. We were partners. When he told me I could complete my research by building a gateway to other worlds, I trusted him. He said this was the way genius happened; little help from a friend. It seems that I was on the verge of my greatest achievement! Until my partner got a glimpse of Zalgo's true plans. I'd been betrayed. I shut the portal down, severing the link between Zalgo's world and ours. I had to hide my instructions so no one could ever finish Zalgo's work. Zalgo's been waiting for the gateway to reopen ever since. All he needs to do is get his hands on the Multiverse crystals. To Zalgo, it's just a game, but to us, it would mean the end of our world.
~ The Unwanted House Guest to Jeff.


You were all I had. But you and your Proxies just had to win. Zalgo pulled my face off my head, and my arms from my body, and burned me alive… because of you.
~ Shadowlurker to Slenderman and the Proxies.


A demon who will not rest until Arcosian culture, my culture, is wiped from existence.
~ Princess Atta describing Zalgo.


I don't know much about this Zalgo fella, but I guarantee he hasn't killed as many people as melanoma has.
~ Rick Bernstein while applying sunscreen.


Laughing Jack: You have issues.
Slenderman: Well, of course I have issues! (points at Zalgo) THAT'S MY FUCKING FATHER!!!
~ Slenderman and Laughing Jack.


Enderman: Zalgo's unhinged.
BEN: Ya think?
~ BEN and Enderman.


Zalgo wants us to be afraid. He wants us to hide. Those are our friends out there, and if we don't do something, it'll be our entire omniverse! So I say instead of waiting around to be killed, we band together and take the fight to him! We are gonna FUCK HIS SHIT UP!!!!
~ Jeff to the Monsters of the Under Realm, inspiring them to stand up against Zalgo.


Jeff: It doesn't have to go this way, Shadowlurker! That piece of shit... he deserves to die for what he did to you. He hurt you badly. Makes you wanna hurt others. But if you kill us, he wins. You become everything he says you are, but worse. You don't wanna hurt anyone.
Shadowlurker: How do you know what I want?
Jeff: Because I've been inside you... That came out wrong. I've been inside your shoes... Which is also off-putting. It's just not a great analogy. The point is... there are people... There are people in this fucking world... besides him, who will treat you right. If he reaches full power, he'll kill you. You know he will. It isn't too late. Don't do it. Please.
~ Jeff to the Shadowlurker.


You're goin' down, fuckboy. You're gettin' erased. You're going to die and pay for everything you've done! For what you did to Slenderman, Mr. Widemouth, UHG, Shadowlurker, EVERYONE! And after you're dead you're legacy will be nothing but a fat fucking joke. And even if you do somehow live, you'll live the rest of your miserable life knowing that people will laugh at you for losing to a bunch of mortals. This multiverse laughs at you. It beat you. I BEAT YOU!!!
~ Jeff to Zalgo.


B.O.B: Wow... I thought you liked him.
Shadowlurker: HE DIDN'T LIKE ME!! (voice breaking slightly) HE NEVER LIKED ME!!!
~ Shadowlurker after killing Zalgo.

Trivia

  • Of all the characters in the series, Zalgo has the largest on-screen body count: he murdered numerous Arcosians, Serepentians, committed several atrocities with an innumerable casualty count, and has murdered many characters recognized as individuals on-camera.
  • Zalgo has several influences over history in the Pastamonsters universe:
    • Zalgo had kidnapped various dinosaurs from Earth and stored them in the Under Realm to be used for his army, encasing them in the Under Realm's caves within a layer of strong tree sap. Zalgo then killed off the dinosaurs with a meteor when they proved no use for him.
    • Zalgo forced a group of cave people to build him a portal made of rocks, giving them markings to use to activate the portal. Once the rocks were arranged and markings written, the portal nearly worked until a caveman knocked half of the formation down when he tried to swat a bug. As punishment for their stupidity, Zalgo reverted them back into monkeys and had each of them destroy their homelands and everyone within. The failed rock portal would later be discovered by humans and named "Stonehenge".
    • When the merfolk of the Atlantic Ocean attempted to create a portal for Zalgo, it only worked for ten minutes (letting out a jackal-headed man from the Pit). Afterward, Zalgo was furious and cursed the entire North Atlantic ocean, which resulted in the creation of the infamous Bermuda Triangle.
    • Zalgo shook hands with Stalin after being summoned by him and gave him ideas of how to defeat the Axis. However, in return, Zalgo demanded Stalin create him a portal, only revealing it to him when it was too late. Due to Stalin not having the materials to do so, Zalgo gave Stalin such terrible nightmares that his brain nearly exploded, eventually killing him.
    • When a random man failed to complete a portal for Zalgo, Zalgo cursed the man into a monstrous form with abnormally large feet as punishment so he would never be accepted by society. The man later became the infamous cryptid known as Bigfoot.
    • Zalgo gave George Washington secrets that helped him defeat the British. But when George's attempt at a steam-powered portal sank into a swamp, Zalgo gave Washington such bad nightmares that he ground his teeth into dust in his sleep and then had to get wooden ones, and threatened to do the same to his family. Washington had his men build a tapestry of Zalgo in order to appease him. The same tapestry appears at the end of "Native American Throwdown".
    • Zalgo helped Stanley Kubrick fake the US moon landing, hoping that, in return, Kubrick would convince NASA to build a functioning portal. When NASA rejected the proposal, Zalgo stripped Kubrick of his sanity and cursed him with bizarre nightmares, which, in an ironic twist, ended up helping him in his film career.
  • According to Comickit, simply saying Zalgo's name is enough to send both Earth and Under Realm beings in panic. Enderman, the Rake, X, Shadowlurker, Laughing Jack, and Lord Squoomian are afraid of him. Ms. P is terrified of him, and thinks their only hope against him is to get Slenderman involved. BEN, Sally, Princess Atta, Alyss, Samantha Sampson, and even the Unwanted House Guest are terrified of him as well. Also, some episodes imply that Aton is somewhat fearful of him.
  • According to the Unwanted House Guest's notes, Zalgo's true name, Za'lgatoth, is cursed and anyone who says it out loud can be instantly located and tracked by Zalgo himself.
  • His cape is made out of the skin of his first born child.
  • Despite being highly feared, hated, and despised by almost all sentient beings in the world or the universe, many beings worship Zalgo as a divine figure.
  • On the page about Zalgo in Ms. P's spellbook, a signature about Zalgo's head says "Semper vigilantum", which in Latin means "always watching".
  • Zalgo's final form, Infinite Zalgo, is based off the Great Lord's design.
  • Unlike Slenderman, Zalgo doesn't even bother the memorize the names of his many henchmen, preferring to just refer to them as the name of their species or even names like "Henchman #21".
  • Zalgo ignites a red flame in his hand when, in order to seal a deal, he shakes the hand of the other party.
  • The mouth on Zalgo's head is used for talking while the ones on his abdomen are used for eating.
  • Zalgo is older than the universe. In fact, he is far older than time itself, as he is at least 1 trillion years old.
  • Aton implied at one point in his in-character Tumblr blog that he did not create Zalgo.
  • Comickit once revealed in a livestream that Zalgo enjoys throwing fancy parties. He is also very materialistic and vain, so he likes the attention parties bring and an excuse to show off his insurmountable riches achieved by many millennia of avarice and theft.
  • In a code on the "July 29th" page in the real-life UHG's notes, it is revealed that, when Splendorman was caught halfway in the portal, he saw Zalgo "removing his exoskeleton to feed".
  • It is stated numerous times that he is made from pure energy, not skin and bones, which Zalgo states himself in one episode. Despite this, when he gets his face melted in "Legends of the Multiverse Part 7", one can see bones and sinew under his face.
  • President Bush and Smile Dog seem to be capable of sensing Zalgo's presence.
  • In Season 2, he was originally going to be a one-shot villain, but with so many cameo appearances and having some connections to Slenderman and the Pastamonsters lore, he became the main villain of the entire series.
  • BEN has stated that Zalgo once shook hands with Stalin.
  • In the Summoning Gods, Demons, and other Anomalies section of the Pastamonsters Handbook, the steps to summoning Zalgo are scribbled out with a message to the side that reads "DO NOT SUMMON. ZALGO CANNOT BE TRUSTED!!!". It is implied the Unwanted House Guest was the one who scribbled it out.
  • Ms. P's spellbook and the Unwanted House Guest's notes contain sections on Zalgo, but strangely, Ms. P's spellbook contains instructions on how to summon Zalgo, whereas the Unwanted House Guest's contains instructions on how to stop Zalgo if he is summoned.
  • As revealed in the Zalgo AMA, Zalgo thinks in all caps and his signature Zalgo text, often making what he says difficult to read.
  • Contrary to popular belief, Zalgo cannot be identified as male or female, as he is a being above the concept of gender or race. He also claims his home dimension has 14 billion different gender identities and there is paperwork involved in determining sexual orientation and he's not exactly been keeping track of his.
  • Unlike other members of his race, Zalgo keeps his mental state and can speak, as opposed to simply roaring or growling. This is because he was already extremely violent, murderous, sadistic and insane and his demonic instinct had no effect on his mentality.
  • Contrary to popular belief, Zalgo is not the cause behind the evil in the Under Realm. In fact, it was the evil that attracted Zalgo to the realm.
  • A character heavily resembling the Zalgo appeared in the Sonic Boom episode Nominatus Rising.
  • Zalgo was originally going to be an omnipotent neutral trickster similar to how Aton is portrayed, as opposed to the much more malevolent and chaotic deposition that would later characterize him.
  • It is implied on some occasions that Zalgo believes himself to be a hero and liberator among non-mortal lifeforms. He claims he wants to liberate all dimensions and make it a fun world with no rules or restrictions. His deleted villain song features dialogue that definitely implies he sees himself as a hero who wants to save mortals from the delusions society has blinded them with. However, Zalgo's "dream world" would render it pure chaos inhospitable to non-demonic life. Considering his sadism and how he admits he's insane either way, it's very likely his claim is just an excuse for his own enjoyment.
  • In earlier episodes he was occasionally depicted with a glossy, black, spiral cane.
  • Zalgo had a cameo in Comickit's Tumblr comic Fun with Colorz. His silhouette is briefly seen, grinning malevolently as Jeff contemplates killing Dez.
    • He is also briefly seen on a computer monitor displaying the multiverse's greatest threats. When Dez is wandering an alleyway, "ZALGO IS WATCHING" can be seen spray-painted on a wall. It's very likely that these references are towards "Pastamonsters" Zalgo, since the two series are considered to occur in the same multiverse.
  • Zalgo once wrote a bible for compulsive lying that he gifted to the Zalgo cult.
  • Aton's Guardians appear to be programmed to detect Zalgo, as in "Legends of the Multiverse," when Infinite Zalgo appears, one activates and says "Zalgo alert! Zalgo alert!"
  • For unknown reasons, Mr. Widemouth, the Unwanted House Guest, and Aton often call Zalgo a "seeker."

Navigation

           Pastamonsters Villains

Factions
The Proxies
Minions of Zalgo
The Bleeders
Ku Klux Klan

Slenderman and the Proxies
Slenderman | Mr. X | Jeff the Killer | BEN Drowned | Ms. Pencil Neck | Eyeless Jack | Natalie Clockwork | Ticci Toby
Enderman's gang
Enderman | B.O.B | The Rake
The Pit
The Great Lord | Zalgo | Shadowlurker | X | Flagg | Stukka | Septim
Aton's Forces
Aton
The Bleeders
Laughing Jack | Angel Knives | David | The Mole
Others
Ash Graven | The Unwanted House Guest | Grinny Cat | The Stiltwalker | The Strider | Scorpion | Dr. Applecheek | Grinny Cat | The Showman | Officer Gutierrez | Mancala | Fear | The Hag | Evil Jeff | Colonel Blackheart | President Bush | Malitch | Mayor Bigmouth | Laughing Jack Jr. | Frowning Jack


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