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"King Stormlance has declared that this page is his domain." This page, Zorthentine, was written by BrandonDarkOne47. Any original work, images, etc. presented here is therefore theirs under the CC BY-NC-ND license. Please do not add onto, delete, or copy anything on this page without the original author's permission. Thank you. |
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This article's content is marked as Mature Needlemouse found something very brutal for those with a weak heart. The page Zorthentine contains mature content that may include coarse language, sexual references, and/or graphic images which may be disturbing to some. Mature pages are recommended for those who are 18 years of age and older. If you're 18 years or older or are comfortable with graphic material, you are free to view this page. Otherwise, you should close this page and view another page. |
| “ | Ahaha you f*cking ants, I've killed you more times than you can count to and you don't even know it! And another thing... Good... Why is good better than evil? Last time I checked I'm gonna kill you all anyway so why be good? Huh? Why be good? If you're all gonna be made into f*cking worm's meat by me anyway? AHAHAHAHHAHUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! You see!!! Why pay taxes? Taxes are the LEAST OF YOUR WORRIES!!! I've flayed that whole school bus a grillion times!!! This is what your tax money goes to you pricks! Now listen up. I'm going to entrap reality in a neverending loop of destruction so you will die and die and die again and evil and good will start to blend together and every spoken word will be part of a neverending run-on sentence and you will serve me and you will be flayed anyway and everything will die again and again until my mind breaks and no one can stop the loop and it never ends!!! MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH!!! Ohh what's that you stinky old fart begging for mercy? Eat your toes now. EAT THEM YOU F*CKING GEEZER SHOVE 'EM DOWN YOUR PIPES oh what's that you lost your toes in the Great War? Well let me force you to relive it a million times!!!!!! MWUHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!!!!! By the way I had infinite other versions of me from alternate universes who were also cruel but none were as cruel as I so I KILLED THEM ALL!!! AND NOW... DIE... F*CKING... AGAIN.. DIE TO DEATH YOU LITTLE SHIT! | „ |
| ~ Zorthentine's first line. |
Dolge Zorthenstein, later known as Zorthentine, is the overarching and secondary antagonist of Scratch.
Appearance[]
Dolge Form[]
In his Dolge form he is a greasy little white guy whose face is pitted with acne and whose oily hair wraps around his skull in the most unflattering shape known to man. His patches of "stubble" do little to hide that he has the build of a little anklebiter constantly hunched over in search of cookie crumbs on the kitchen floor.
Zorth Form[]
In this form he is 600 centimeters (236,22 inches) tall and wears red/yellow armor on which is stamped an impression of a snazzy suit. His slick hair is constantly shrouded in shadows and thus his grease and dandruff are indiscernible. Overall he looks pretty "rakish" now and he'll let you know before he flays you.
Personality[]
Zorthentine is, as described by famous physicist Stephen Hawking on his deathbed, "singular proof that God exists, for something of this evil magnitude could not have been born out of chance". Zorthentine is murderous even towards those who spread his word, as shown when he killed Stephen Hawking.
HE once had a crush on a girl in college but the girl suffered from terminal libido intolerance and died on the spot when Zorthentine made passes at her, which he had anticipated would happen.
He is also incredibly evil, atrocious, barbarous, merciless, sinful, unfeeling, virulent, drastic, peaceful, heartless and petty, shown when he shoved an elbow into an innocent man just because the latter was trying to cut in line.
Biography[]
Conception[]
Before his very conception the hypothetical idea of Zorthentine was annihilated infinityfold by King Zorkuzul. But as Zorthentine came to exist anyway he realized, in nonexistent retrospect, that just as he had only hypothetically existed prior to his conception, he had only hypothetically been killed infinityfold, and through this convenient paradox of sorts Zorthentine learned to appreciate from an early age the delicacies of hypotheticals.
King Zorkuzul, able to comprehend the totality of existence at every plane at every moment, is not able to distinguish the hypothetical from the non-hypothetical as his perception compasses all realities. Zorthentine realized this, and thus sent armies of hypothetical alternate versions of himself from other dimensions to attempt to attack Zorkuzul from various angles and with various tactics. Up until now, Zorkuzul has easily caught them all in perpetual death loops, but he is unaware that the true Zorthentine lives on unscathed.
Equipment[]
- File
- Laser eyes
- Laser ears
- Laser pores
- FIBERLOCK SHOCKWAVE Disinfectant
- A greasy clasped Testament
List of Victims Killed by Zorthenine[]
- Countless:
- 7.794798739e+33 (by destroying Eath 999999999999999999999421428147489172498241749874982174982478941274892741891579825729587258917589215728957295172895715892759275892571958251588888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888882144424 times over)
- All 2413421424124214 other versions of himself.
- A gabrillion hypothetical people whose hypothesized existences might've been realized if not for ZORTHENTINE.
- Everyone who ever made a positive YouTube review of Hunt Down the Freeman after which he'd delete the reviews (fooling the general population into thinking the gem of a HL fangame was negatively received).
- Patricia, Chris, Luke, Sky, Marge, Jane AND both Stephens.
Attempted Victims[]
- Spyro the Dragon
- King Zorkuzul
- His old barber (was already killed by another one of their customers)
Stats[]
Stats[]
Zorthentine's statistics
Appearances[]
Garry's Mod[]
Zorthentine will most reprehensibly, if present in a Garry's Mod server, cause the game to take really long to load all the mods, an experience alien and unpleasant to all of the game's fans who have grown accustomed to snappy loading times and high octane gameplay.
Scratch[]
Zorthentine is amazingly illustrated in all of his appearances.
Portrayals[]
- Jason Segel - Scratch
- Ed Norton - Scratch Cinematic Universe
- Henry Cavill - Multiversal Legends
Quotes[]
| “ | Put the hot potato in your mouth and burn you brute | „ |
| ~ Zorthentine's catchphrase. |
| “ | Haha... I guess, I have changed, Tronos.... But, for the better... Don't believe me? Why don't you ask your UNCLE? | „ |
| ~ Zorthentine's most famous quote as he reveals his true nature. |
| “ | NOO!! NOOO!!! NO!! BRAKE IT UP! BRAKE IT UP! You little ********s have been thorning my side for a whole grand opera now well MOO like a cow OINK like a pig and MEOW like a cat because you're gonna be flayed and roasted like one. TRONOS you and your boyfriend TREMPO WILL DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! | „ |
| ~ Zorthentine's most infamous quote; his Villainous Breakdown. |
| “ | All this heroism is giving me a hemorrhage! | „ |
| ~ Zorthentine's least popular quote. |
Trivia[]
- Zorthentine is largely based on Lord Qin from Mulan II.
- Ex-president Nixon reportedly stormed out of the theater during the scene where Zorthentine lists all of his crimes which, coincidentally, have also been committed by conservatives, and later demanded it be removed. The scene was cut from every version of Scratch except the ones that aren't on VHS.
Soundtrack[]
Zorthentine's Theme Song
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